Welcome Home Roxy Carmichael: Safety On The Shore

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A teenage goth outsider, played by Winona Ryder, finds comfort in a boat.

I can see what this film was trying to do, but it really just didn’t come together well. The two crisscrossing storylines of Ryder’s character being abandoned as a child and then her high school isolation happening side by side with the narrative flirting with the idea of unreliable narration and time could have led to great contrast, but as it turns out it doesn’t actually lead to a satisfying pay off. I would say that is the main issue with this film that it seems to think that it is far deeper than it actually is.

I think without Ryder the film would be a lot worse, as it is Ryder manages to pull the film together with enough dark energy to keep you watching until the end. You really do believe the pain that her character is clearly going through and do also feel a lot of sympathy towards her, her character is quite well constructed and layered too which is nice.

The pace of the film is a little off and I would say it could lose about 20 minutes and be a tighter and better film.

Overall, fine but with a fair number of issues holding it back.

Pros.

Ryder

It tries to do something fresh

It is watchable

Cons.

The pace

It thinks it is deeper than it actually is

The ending is quite anticlimactic

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She-Hulk: Is This Not Real Magic

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Jen, played by Tatiana Maslany, hits the dating game and Wong, played by Benedict Wong, is brought back for yet another cameo, as the show is clearly not strong enough to stand on its own.

My word this show is a mess. I was writing on Twitter the other day that I think that this show is the worst MCU project yet, it is certainly the most misjudged. Where to begin with why this was an awful episode? Maybe the dating montage that is cringe as hell and feels like it was written by a middle-aged person who doesn’t understand modern dating, worse yet by constantly stressing how the safe guy Jen brings home is so hot, she just comes across as totally shallow and unlikeable. In a modern context if a male character in a TV show did the same thing people would complain. I understand that She-Hulk dating in the comics is a funny side to her character but the humour of this storyline really didn’t work for me.

Yet another terrible decision this episode made was having Titania, played by Jameela Jamil, be an influencer. Just no. I am not even going to make a comics accuracy argument, but what I will say is again it reeks of a middle-aged person trying to write characters that the kids of today can relate to whilst being totally out of touch. It adds heaps to the bad cringe of the show.

Finally lets talk about Wong and Madisynn, played by Patty Guggenheim. I think the whole Wong magic storyline is naff as hell and was only done to keep Wong in the show as the creators know he is a fan favourite and people will keep watching for him, it is a crutch the show is using as it knows She-Hulk isn’t interesting without cameos. The budding relationship between Wong and Madisynn does feel gimmicky and I am not as on board with them as other people are, but I do think there is promise there if the show or wider MCU wants to develop them further.

Overall, I may stop watching this show as I truly believe it is the worst MCU content thus far.

Pros.

Madisynn and Wong have potential

It is unintentionally hilarious

Cons.

The dating storyline feels like a relic of network TV

Jen is creepy, forceful and shallow during the house dating scenes

The magic storyline is boring and stupid

It is painfully unfunny throughout

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Rick And Morty: Solaricks

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Rick And Morty return with such a low effort whimper that it makes you question why they even returned at all.

Honestly this episode was crap. I was looking forward to the new season starting and was hoping for a return to more breezy one off episodes rather than the heavy cannon focus we got towards the end of last season and boy was I let down.

This episode basically just goes over everything that happened in the season finale again just in case you had forgotten. That is all it does, no new adventure, some lame portal gun shenanigans is stuffed in as a b plot but even that doesn’t go far enough to be interesting. We get the tease of the evil Rick clone that killed our Rick’s wife and kid being out in the open, and the episode suggests that maybe our Rick will kill him but this just peters out into nothing.

In addition to all of those issues the episode is also majorly depressing and not particularly fun to watch in any way. The episode’s dialogue is basically just the characters saying how bad things are now and how they are sorry for letting things get this way which feels more aptly like the writers acknowledging their fault.

Overall, a terrible start to the season.

Pros.

Space Beth returns

Cons.

It is depressing

It just rehashes the last episode’s plot

It feels tired

It starts the season off on a bad note

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Easter Sunday: Tame and Bland

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A struggling single father, played by Jo Koy, heads home to spend Easter Sunday with his dysfunctional family.

When I saw the trailer for this film I was happy as I thought it could begin to fill the hole of Filipino representation within the industry, and while yes it is nice to see this group more widely represented it is just a shame that the film that is doing this important task is actually quite naff.

Before this film I had not really seen Koy’s stand-up before, so was unfamiliar with what to expect; I am more of a Marc Maron type personally. What I found watching was that Koy wasn’t very funny, I don’t know if I just don’t gel with his comedic stylings or whether the material for the film was bad, but what I do know is that whilst watching it I didn’t laugh more than once or twice in the film’s whole runtime.

In many respects this film reminded me of the cinematic comedic vehicles that the likes of Chris Tucker, Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers used to get, however, I would say the big difference here is that Koy semes to find it hard to keep the film going. I would argue and perhaps I am wrong, as like I said before I was unfamiliar with him before this, that he may not be a strong enough comedian to anchor a film like this.

Overall, watchable, but not very funny.

Pros.

It is watchable

One or two funny jokes

Cons.

Most of the jokes don’t land

It is badly paced

Koy doesn’t seem a strong enough comedian to anchor this film

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Me Time: Hart Brings The Heart

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Kevin Hart is an untight family man you needs to learn to cut lose, enter his old friend Huck, played by Mark Wahlberg.

On this the face of it this is an incredibly by the numbers comedy film, in almost everyway you have seen this before, Mark Wahlberg himself has made this exact same film before in fact. However, no one ever said a comedy film had to be the height of originality, the real question is, is it funny?

In terms of humour the film is more hit than miss, there are a number of memorable gags but for the most part its fairly weak stuff. For those of you out there who might be hoping for some raunchy material the film is far more family friendly than I was expecting it to be.

I think the best thing about this film and its biggest selling point is Kevin Hart. Hart is doing very well in this family comedy circuit where he plays a dorky family man looking to break loose, I think Hart brings a real sense of heart and soul to these roles that makes it hard not to root for him, with a different actor in the lead this film would be a lot worse for sure.

Overall, nothing revolutionary but watchable with a boost from Hart

Pros.

Hart

It is watchable

It has some wholesome charm

Cons.

Fairly low energy Wahlberg

It is nothing you haven’t seen before

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Fisherman’s Friends One And All: It Is Okay To Not Be Okay

5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Fisherman’s Friends must deal with a changing world and the price of fame as they return for another outing.

This was a nigh on perfect film, it had everything you would want, humour, heart and soul. It made me both laugh and cry. It feels like such an authentic film, which yes is boosted by the fact that it is based on real events but also because of the fact that this feels as removed from Hollywood as you can get, though not quite low budget indie film level.

Moreover, I really appreciated and enjoyed the focus on men’s mental health. I thought the speech that Jim, played by James Purefoy, gave about it being okay to not be okay was really important, as on a personal level I know men who struggle with their mental health but feel like they can’t talk about it or get help for it as such it is nice to see the message being spread that it is okay to ask for help and to cry.

In addition the cast across the board is great, but Purefoy is the anchor of the film and really sells the emotion and the passion. I think without Purefoy this film wouldn’t be half as good.

Overall, a lovely film that as many people as possible should see.

Pros.

Purefoy

The focus on men’s mental health

The shanties

It feels like a sequel that deserves to exist

The end credits scenes with the real people

Cons.

None

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Nice Guys Sleep Alone: You’ll Need A Shower After This One

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Films like this are why we have incels.

The idea that ‘nice guys finish last’ is the hallmark of the dirty unwashed guys who show up to dates with BO and stained clothes and then proceed to neg the girl they are trying to court and then get surprised when they don’t want to be with them. In short it is the motto of the loser. This film really does run with that message as the lead, played by Sean O’Bryan, loses girl after girl because he is just too nice and then when he finally decided to be a dick to his next romantic interest she only wants nice guys. Firstly, if a girl doesn’t like you because you are too nice that is on her, no one should ever change you in a relationship, however the idea that being a dick is a way to attract a mate is equally flawed and toxic.

I understand there is a degree of satire going on here, but honestly this whole film reeked of pick up artist slime to me, and as such I could not warm to the lead at all, in fact if anything the fact that he was prepared to turn into a dick to try and get girls shows that he wasn’t a nice guy at all and that he was in fact a slimy loser who deserved to end up alone, but because this is a rom-com we can’t have that. Ah the toxic and widely problematic romantic comedy subgenre everyone. Maybe we weren’t supposed to like him at all.

Overall, though it is trying to satirise dating culture this film feels like a relic better left behind.

Pros.

Occasionally it is unintentionally funny

Cons.

The satire doesn’t really land

It is toxic

It is not fun to watch

Few to none of the characters are at all likeable

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Spin Me Round: Spilling Sauce

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A restaurant manger wins a trip to Italy and a whirlwind romance begins, then quickly ends.

This to me marked me returning to the Baena path, I really enjoyed Life After Beath and The Little Hours, but Horse Girl really turned me off in a big way, however I am pleased to say he is back on form here.

I found this to be both comfort viewing whilst also having Baena signature absurdist uncomfortability. I liked that the romance was atypical and that at the end of the film Alison Brie’s lead did not go back to her sleezy lothario, I think in many ways this film acts as an antidote for the miles upon miles of toxic rom-coms out there that suggest even incredibly problematic behaviour can be made up for just with a grand gesture.

Moreover, the continued electric chemistry between Aubrey Plaza and Alison Brie, which can be referenced again in Baena’s The Little Hours, is on strong form here and the scenes that the two actors share steal the film. My one complaint in this regard would be that Plaza’s character disappears midway into the film and you find yourself wishing that she would return. However, that wish is never realised.

The main reason I have given this film a 4 and not a 5 is because though it is good and enjoyable for a number of different reasons, I didn’t find it to have stuck in my mind after watching. This staying power is usually the hallmark of a 5.

Overall, fun but not memorable.

Pros.

The chemistry between Plaza and Brie

It is very watchable

The ending acts as a balm to the many injustices of the rom-com genre

The absurdist elements

Cons.

It is good not great

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She Hulk: What The Hell Is This? Is It An Advert?

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Megan Thee Stallion shows up and She-Hulk, played by Tatiana Maslany, twerks.

I will review this episode in two parts, the first part will focus on the good and the second on the bad. The bad here is fairly extreme but I like Wong, played by Benedict Wong, so there is some good here.

In the Abomination, played by Tim Roth, storyline we get a fun cameo from everyone’s favourite Sorcerer Supreme and it is played up enough that every second we get with him is pure gold. The comedy in this part of the episode also really landed for me.

That said onto some of the worse stuff I have seen from Marvel possibly to date. Everyone hates the Simpsons episode Lisa Goes Gaga because all it exists to do is blow smoke up the guest stars rear end and say how great they are, clearly the She-Hulk team aren’t familiar with this as they do exactly the same thing here. Not only is the Megan Thee Stallion subplot not at all funny in any way but it gets really repetitive with how many times they have to say her name over and over again as though they are trying to force us to think it is a big deal. Moreover, I know a lot of people complain that the MCU has gotten too silly and want things to return to a more serious tone, however, normally I don’t mind the humour of the MCU, but I would say this show is pushing it too far. The post credits twerking scene is something that has no business in the MCU it feels like something you might see from a tie-in advert but not a scene from a film or TV show, in addition it is also all kinds of cringe.

I really do think She-Hulk as a show needs to get its tone right because right now it is all over the place and feels like a bad parody.

Overall, other than Wong this episode was made entirely to suck up to the guest star.

Pros.

Wong

A few funny jokes

Cons.

Everything to do with Megan Thee Stallion

The twerking scene

It feels like bad parody at times

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Monte Carlo: An Idealized Version Of France

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

3 all American girls go on holiday to France and naturally one of their group gets mistaken for a celebrity doppelganger and they go on an adventure.

Honestly this is bland nonsense. It is perfectly watchable but is so light and breezy that you can check out for big chunks of the ‘plot’ and still mostly understand what is going on. I am not saying that every film has to have an intricate narrative with lots of moving parts but there is so little going on here that it is barely even a film.

Moreover, this kind of double narrative has been done so many times before that this film feels instantly stale. To make matters worse this film doesn’t even have the charm of a Parent Trap or a Princess Switch instead it feels just barely serviceable.

None of the performances are particularly great either, Gomez is probably the best of a bad bunch but no one is winning an Oscar here.

Overall, boring fluff that is hard to feel one way or the other about.

Pros.

It is mindless

It is watchable if you have nothing else

It is short

Cons.

The performances are fairly weak all round

There is nothing to it

It is bland and insipid

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