That Christmas: An Epitaph To The Sorry State Of Modern Britain

Richard Curtis should retire and Netflix should issue a public apology.

Where to start with That Christmas? There are so many things wrong with it that I honestly don’t know.

First and foremost it doesn’t understand the UK, it was written by an Englishman and yet it depicts a south coastal city in the winter as having knee deep snow and having frozen ponds and bodies of water. For those of you not familiar with UK weather that is incredibly unlikely unless maybe you were at high altitude or it was particularly cold but otherwise it is nonsense.

Then you have all of your horrible and dating ‘modern day tropes’ one of the characters is really into militant veganism and so releases all of the Turkey’s to die or later be recaptured, another goes off on multiple climate change lectures and of course has all the answers despite being a child. Then there is the fetishisation of the NHS, our free public health service here in the UK if you’re unfamiliar, with their being a whole subplot about a single mother, voiced by Jodie Whittaker, being selfless and working on Christmas Day and needing to be treated like a queen when she returns home. It has the sickening and fake over sentimentality of when people were banging pots and pans in Tribute to the NHS during the pandemic. She is doing her job, and arguably being a bad parent, yet we are supposed to give her some applause? Of course every different race imaginable is depicted as it’s a Netflix film and they don’t seem to understand that not every part of every country is the same as what they see on the streets of LA, especially not the monied parts of southern England.

Finally, it struggles as a Christmas film without a message. All good Christmas films have a message as well as being entertaining, but what does this film have to say? Communities should come together? Christmas is about the people and not the presents? Old people caused global warming and so are evil? All of these things have been said before, more intelligently and with more depth, by trying so hard to appeal to a modern audience the film is left saying nothing.

Overall, Netflix spits in your face and tells you it is Christmas snow.

0.5/5

Pros.

It is short

Cons.

It doesn’t understand the UK at all

It is horribly dated

It is cringe

It feels the need to lecture

It has nothing new to say

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, customised film recommendations to suit your personality and tastes, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

A Christmas Carol: Jim Carry Does A Yorkshire Accent

Summary

A Christmas Carol is animated and Jim Carrey attempts to do a Yorkshire accent.

As a child this was my favourite version of the Dicken’s classic, however, now watching it all these years later I find it has rather lost its charm. In many senses this suffers from the same sort of problem as The Polar Express and that is to say that the animation leans a little too closely into the uncanny valley and comes off as quite menacing and upsetting at times.

I appreciated Carrey’s performance and thought it was a high point of the film for sure, even his questionable Yorkshire accent for the Ghost of Christmas Present. His Scrooge really does feel the part in a way that a lot of the other on screen depictions just don’t.

I would argue that the ending needs a bit of work as when the transformation happens and Scrooge becomes nice rather than this feeling happy and like a personality shifted, it comes across a little bit manic here and a little as though Scrooge is having a breakdown. I would have said a positive but more subdued performance would have worked better here than a louder and more over the top one.

Overall, though a novel idea to animated the classic Christmas tale it is not without its issues.

2.5/5

Pros.

Carrey

Some impressive visuals

It is entertaining

Cons.

The animation can be too uncanny valley

The ending is a little too manic

It has pacing issues

https://www.patreon.com/c/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Dear Santa: Jack Black Goes Lame

Summary

The tamest adult comedy film ever.

So I was surprised to see the age rating of this film on Paramount Plus as I was sure that it was family friendly. It is a film about summoning the Devil, Jack Black, and it is about as scary and edgy as having an egg and cress sandwich that has an uneven number of pieces of cress on it.

They try to clear this up later by saying Black is not actually the Devil, rather a demon, but that still doesn’t explain in any way the tameness, honestly nothing even remotely adult happens and I have no idea how it got the rating it got.

Moreover, the ending which sees the couple’s dead kid resurrected as a result of a Christmas good deed granted by a demon, is all kinds of messed up. The religious stuff to one side for a moment, the idea that for any parents who may be watching that they can just wish their kid back is just cruel and it reminds them of their pain and loss and how in reality that won’t work. It just feels very much in bad taste.

Overall, a weak and disappointing Christmas comedy.

1.5/5

Pros.

It has one good laugh

It is short

Cons.

For the most part it isn’t funny

It is too tame

The ending is weird and uncomfortable

Black feels miscast

https://www.patreon.com/c/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Nutcrackers: The Season Begins In Earnest

Summary

Ben Stiller goes heartfelt for Christmas.

So David Gordon Green has been in a run of bad luck recently, the third Halloween Film, the first and last of his trilogy of Exorcist films and then this. This film does have some charm but reads a little like the more earnest comedies of about ten years ago mixed with Wes Anderson. In execution I would say it is derivative in intent but I would say that it doesn’t do it well enough to be even close to other similar films.

Honestly this is a film we have all seen too many times before, Ben Stiller plays an uncle called in to watch over his nephews after the death of their mother. It is only supposed to be for a few days until they find them a home, but can you guess what folks? He never leaves. Who could have guessed that. The fact of the matter is the film sets up Stiller’s character as this workaholic who lives for his job and yet he is all too quick to just give it up later in the film when they move in a different direction, this workaholic doesn’t even fight for it.

I think my major issue with the film is that the emotion just doesn’t feel genuine at any point. It feels insincere and in a film like this that is important.

Overall, it is clear what they were going for but it just didn’t stick the landing.

2/5

Pros.

It tries to be earnest

It does have a couple of sweet moments

Cons.

The emotion doesn’t feel real

It has pacing issues

The character motivations are bad

It has been done before

https://www.patreon.com/c/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Red One: Santa Clause Runs Guantanamo Bay

Summary

Captain America and Black Adam save Christmas.

This film is everything a Christmas film should be fun, festive and silly. It never takes itself too seriously and that is only too it’s benefit.

It is questionable who this film is for as there are very adult moments such as when Chris Evans burns the side of a snowman’s face off, and also learning about Santa Claus and his team using enhanced interrogation techniques, however if you go with the weirdness there’s a lot of laughs to have. I would argue that is still safe for families.

The duo themselves have some charm I would say of all of Dwayne Johnson’s pairings this is quite middle of the road, he was better with Emily Blunt. The characters and their journeys are fairly stock and generic and you have seen all of this before, but you also not coming to this for great character work, you are coming to it to see Krampus arrive in the third act to save the day very much like an Avengers esque moment.

The choice of villain in Sabrina’s own Kiernan Shipka is odd. The idea of this teen girl bossing around men three times if not more her size is a little bit absurd however this is a film that has talking polar bears so maybe absurd is it’s bread and butter. When she reverts to her troll form at the end of the film then she is far more of a menacing threat.

Overall, a silly and fun Christmas film.

4.5/5

Pros.

It is fun

It is silly

It has great world building

It is imaginative

The duo are charming enough

Cons.

https://www.patreon.com/c/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Christmas As Usual: A True Get Out Sequel

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A couple goes home for Christmas and then her family proceeds to be racist towards the incoming fiancé for the entire runtime of the film, only having a ‘man racism is bad’ moment right at the end of the film because the plot demands it, you can tell they still hate him even at the end.

I challenge you to watch this film and not be infuriated by the Norwegian family. They make no effort to embrace Jashan, Kanan Gill, and are racist to his face multiple times and you are still supposed to like them in the plot of the film. Then they get the daughter’s ex round, blonde hair blue eyes and try and set her up with him in front of Jashan. If this film was a Get Out sequel I could believe it.

I mentioned it briefly in the summary but basically the family is awful to Jashan across the film to a point where he leaves and breaks off the engagement, as he should as the girl is too ashamed to reveal the fact she is marrying a man of colour, they then have a come to Jesus moment and go ‘wait a minute are we the baddies’. This feels forced in for the plot and I would have preferred if that had been the end of it, if it had been a drama, make a point, have them be racist and unrepentant, that would have felt more authentic again there shift here felt contrived.

Overall, In many senses this film is a good outrage film, it makes you feel angry and sometimes that is what you want maybe not out of a Christmas rom-com though. I would say at times the film is almost in the so bad it is good category as the characters are so cartoonishly twisted and easy hate to hate them characters. If you want to find an anti-rom com for Christmas then here it is.

2.5/5

Pros.

It is laughably bad at times

It makes you angry it is a good hate film

Jashan has a few nice wholesome moments

Cons.

It is hard to watch at times

The shift is unconvincing

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, the ability for you to pick what I review next, bespoke film recommendation to fit you as a person and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Navigating Christmas: Where Is A Storm When You Need One

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A single mum, Chelsea Hobbs, in order to prove she is ‘fun’ takes her kid to a lighthouse for Christmas as you do.

Again another painfully by the numbers Christmas film, I think of the crappy Christmas films that stick to the standard script that I watched this year this was by far my least favourite. For the simple reason of the teen actor playing the main woman’s kid is awful. So the character is a cliché stereotype that acts like he’s five despite clearly being older than that, and blames his mum for everything in his life. The character is so off putting that it is easier to just skip over any scene he is in.

The romance between Hobbs character and the male lead is better and the romance aspect of the film makes it salvageable but honestly it is nothing you haven’t seen before.

Sadly there isn’t much more to say about this you have seen it before, the teen is irritating to a point of the film being hard to watch at times, watch something else.

Overall, an incredibly generic Christmas film

1.5/5

Pros.

The romance is okay

It is mindless

Cons.

The kid is irritating

You have seen this before

It is badly paced

It makes so real stupid leaps in logic

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

A Christmas Karen: A Timely And Needed Christmas Film

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A karen, Michele Simms, gets the Scrooge treatment.

I thought this film was hilarious, many times I was laughing at how awful Karen was and I also thought it was funny how manic and over the top they made her turn to Jesus moment at the end, when she literally runs around town trying to be nice to everyone, looking like they have put something in her coffee.

I think the plot for the most part is the same old same old they don’t really do much with the Scrooge story that you could call new, they just give it a modern twist. In my mind I am comparing this to the other great non Scrooge Scrooge films like the classic Scrooged and does it hit those same hights? Nope. Though you could argue that is an unfair comparison, as nothing can compare to Bill Murray in his prime.

Michele Simms deserves to win something for her performance here she nails the role of a karen down to the last detail and has all the right mannerisms. Again the scene in which she calls the cops on the little girl selling drinks to pay for her medicine is dead on. Also a nice touch is that they don’t politicise her, you get the feeling she would be voting for Donald, but it never really says it straight up which is good as it could be seen as preachy otherwise.

Overall, not quite a Christmas classic but well worth a watch.

Pros.

It is funny

It nails the karen archetype to a tee

It has charm

Cons.

It doesn’t do much with the book plot

It is badly paced

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

A Merry Scottish Christmas: American Exceptionalism In The UK

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

You know what pairs well with Christmas rom-coms American exceptionalism.

So hear we have the usual set up but they have the added drama that they might become Lord and Lady of a Scottish town I guess, because God knows that the title should go to someone who was born and raised in the community what would those savages know no no it needs to be an American. The romantic lead of the film is Scottish and is from the area and runs the estate but he can’t get the title as it goes to a long lost daughter who moved to America and her kids. If anything this film highlights that birthright titles are stupid dumb and harmful, but worse than that it highlights how the Scott’s need an American to save them from ruin. If I was Scottish I would be angry about that.

Ultimately this film just uses Scotland as an exotic backdrop for all those midwestern mums who will be watching this on Christmas Eve, I would argue and I have only been a few times that this film in no real way reflects Scotland at all and could easily be Croatia doubling up.

The romance elements are fine but paint by numbers and you don’t really care about the couple. The real shame here is that the film is not even so bad it is good, it is just bad and propagates how the world needs an American to save it, when in reality they can’t even save themselves.

Overall, another poor showing of the 2023 Christmas Rom-Coms

1.5/5

Pros.

It is not the worst rom-com ever

It has some pretty scenery be it Scottland or somewhere else doubling for it

Cons.

The American exceptionalism

It is irritating

It doesn’t reflect Scotland at all

It is bland

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Checkin It Twice: Yet Another Small Town Christmas Movie

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A hockey player moves to a small town and meets the girl of his dreams.

It is all the same isn’t it, do we really need to be here talking about this? Well you clicked on this review so I’ll do my best. We won’t talk about the plot you know it, I know it, everyone who has ever watched a Christmas rom-com knows, they never change.

What I will say about this film is that the leads had good chemistry, I thought that they were not only a believable couple but one that you could root for. Again the writing wasn’t good it was the same set up as always, but the chemistry was good enough that you could get beyond that.

You may get more out of this film if you like hockey, as it has elements of a sports movie at times, not huge amounts but some, again I have been to a few games and know a little about it but think that if you are a big hockey fan you might like this film more than most. Again for a person not into hockey these sections will inevitably drag.

Overall, it is better than the last two Christmas films I have reviewed, those being The Mean One and Colorado Christmas, but not by much.

2/5

Pros.

The leads have good chemistry

If you are into Hockey their might be something to get out of this

Cons.

It is generic

The writing is awful

It can drag at times

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer