No Time To Die: The Ending Bond Deserves

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

-There are spoilers within so don’t read this until after the film.

Summary

James Bond has to come out of retirement to fight a new threat that is far closer to those he loves than he realises.

-HUGE SPOILERS

I can’t believe they did it. They actually did it. For months I have been reporting that this film would kill off Bond and for months people said I didn’t know what I was talking about. Looks like I was right. Yes, Bond is blown up whilst poisoned and severely wounded, there is no way he is shaking that off. I am impressed by the creatives for doing this, as it does bring the Bond franchise to a close but in a very meaningful and poignant way. I really do hope going forward the universe focuses on the other OOs rather than bringing back Bond from the dead; if they do that this becomes a much worse film.

I have never been a huge Bond fan, this and Skyfall were the only two of Craig’s tenure that I thought were good. I thought the emotional maturity of this film was a refreshing touch, Bond is flawed, he makes mistakes, he looks to others for approval, rather than just walking into the room and having everyone thinking he is great and then throwing themselves at him. In that regard I thought the humour in this film really landed for me, there were a number of good jokes that made me chuckle over the course of the film’s runtime and I appreciated that.

My criticism of the film would be that it is very long, and as a result has pacing issues. There is a lot to get through with this film and a lot of it is very dark and that creates a heaviness which makes the film hard to get through. I would say more comedy might have helped in this regard, or obviously shortening the length.

Overall, a good swan song for an aging franchise, please don’t bring Bond back.

Pros.

The humour

The ending

The emotional maturity

Craig

Cons.

Pacing issues galore

Rami Malek’s villain needed more development

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Howl: Somehow British Public Transport Is Made Even Worse

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A train breaks down in the middle of nowhere and to make matters worse werewolves begin to terrorise those on board.

This is a fairly strong British werewolf film, is it Dog Soldiers good? No but few films can be. There is something so intimately familiar to the British experience within this film, the grubby train packed with angry people that breaks down; I have been there many times. Well maybe not recently in these Covid times.

Speaking of Dog Soldiers I enjoyed seeing Sean Pertwee appear in this film, he is always a very welcome presence as far as I am concerned. However, they kill him off almost immediately which is of course a huge missed opportunity. The cast we do get more time with are all serviceable though no one is particularly stand out.

The werewolf makeup effects and design were interesting, and we do get several good looks at them over the course of the film. I liked that this film felt like it was creating a fresh take on the creatures rather than trotting out standard genre cliches, the glowing eyes I thought were particularly effective.

Overall, a passable film that is fun to watch but one that won’t blow you away or stay in your mind long after watching.

Pros.

The werewolf design and makeup

The very British scenario

The ending

Cons.

Killing of Pertwee early

Pacing issues

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Anna And The Apocalypse: The Version Of High School Musical That The Disney Channel Rejected

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A Scottish highschool finds itself in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.

I had heard lots of positive things about this prior to watching, however I did not end up liking it. The people I spoke to about this film prior to watching it had left out one key aspect, namely that it is a musical. I really didn’t like that part of the film.

The songs in this film aren’t good. Yes, that is a personal taste thing on my part but every time someone started singing in this film I started to cringe. It felt like a knock off High School Musical clone without the talent, zombies aside. I understand what they were trying to do merging horror and musical elements is a novel idea, accept Sweeny Todd did it about ten years earlier and then there is Rocky Horror so maybe not so fresh an idea after all.

The horror elements are okay but again nothing game changing. For me the best part about this film was seeing Paul Kaye get to have some fun as the evil schoolmaster. Kaye is a tremendous actor, and he was the only reason I kept with the film.

Overall, Paul Kaye is always fun but everything else just doesn’t work.

Pros.

Kaye

It is unintentionally hilarious

Cons.

The songs are Disney Chanel reject quality

The elements don’t come together well

It is cringey

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The Obscure Life Of The Grand Duke Of Corsica: Madness Made Manifest

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An off kilter architect, Timothy Spall, begins working for an eccentric rich man, Peter Stormare, who calls himself The Grand Duke of Corsica.

I enjoyed this film far more than I thought I was going to. Yes, there are moments of abstractness that are so seemingly random and out of place that they don’t fit into the sequence, which becomes jarring, but on the whole the strangeness of the film really works and helps it to become something truly unique.

Both Spall and Stormare bring their A game thought I would say Stormare slightly pips it. Both men bring a lot of depth and nuance to their characters and explore them in interesting ways that makes you question your preconceived notions.

The flashback subplot, or was it a film, didn’t really work for me. I understand the parallel they were trying to create but there was not enough connective tissue there to really bring it together into a meaningful whole.

Overall, an interesting strange film that for the most part gets it right, though it does cross the line a few times.

Pros.
Spall

Stormare

The strangeness

The ending

Cons.

The flashback subplot

Occasionally the film felt like it was being strange for the sake of it

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Four Weddings And A Funeral: The Funeral Would Be More Fun Than This Charmless Affair

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The film revolves around Charles, Hugh Grant, and his circle of friends as they navigate love and life during a number of social occasions.

This one might be an upset, however this film did nothing for me.

Though I like the other Grant films from this era there was just something about this that didn’t quite work for me. I found the central romance to be clunky and not make a whole lot of sense narratively: having Grant’s character end up with his friend, who clearly has a crush on him, played by Kristen Scott Thomas would have made much more sense and yet they didn’t go with it.

Moreover, unlike Notting Hill I did not find any of the characters particularly likeable or charming. As the film progressed if anything I found myself becoming more and more uninterested in the characters and I cared less about what was happening to them as a result. Likewise the humour here also missed the mark for me, maybe making me laugh once or twice throughout but for the most part it left me cold.

Overall, though for many this is a classic it did nothing for me.

Pros.

Grant

One or two funny jokes

It is watchable

Cons.

The characters aren’t likeable

It is boring

The central romance is flawed

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Together: A Lecture About Covid

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An on the rocks couple, played by Sharon Horgan and James McAvoy, have to endure lockdown together.

Personally this film wasn’t to my taste. I enjoyed McAvoy and truth be told he was the only reason I stook with it till the end, however even then it was hard to get through. I found this film to be sanctimonious and preachy throughout not only constantly referring to how people should be during the pandemic, but also giving long drawn out to the camera rants about the failings of the Government.

Horgan’s whole character came off as annoying and only proceeded to get worse as the film drew on; she was the main one lecturing the audience. I found the character arcs of both the characters to be incredibly obvious and trite. McAvoy’s character went from someone who didn’t care about other people to someone who breaks down in tears and tells a shop worker they are a ‘hero’, and Horgan’s from a perfect compassionate human being into less so. It was all so obvious.

Finally, a lot of the points being made politically felt shoe horned in and cringe. It felt like those writing the film had a set list of points they wanted to make and that was how they structured the dialogue. Lazy.

Overall, unless you like being talked down to don’t watch this.

Pros.

McAvoy

It has a few funny lines

Cons.

Horgan

The character arcs are obvious

It is preachy

It is cringey

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RocknRolla: Rockstars Are Only Ever Really Famous After They Are Dead

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of criminals get tied up in an underhand business deal between a local crime lord and a Russian mobster.

I really appreciate the style of Guy Ritchie, his films may be similar, but they are always consistently good and deliver on what they promise, namely slick gritty fun.

For the most part I really enjoyed this film, however there was one aspect that I thought was a little off. There is a sub-plot about one of the gang being homosexual and the other members response to it. I understand this was supposed to be comedic, and they do end up accepting him in the end, but it feels like they linger on this plot line for far too long and it does border on homophobia a little bit at times.

To return to a more positive footing, I don’t think anyone does pacing quite as well as Ritchie. His films always stay consistently entertaining throughout, there is never a lull or a slow moment it is all so slick, there really isn’t any other word for it.

I enjoyed the performances across the board, everyone had their moment to shine and was used well. If I had to pick a favourite it would probably be Idris Elba as Mr Mumbles, I thought he was easily the scene stealer and the most interesting of the group.

I just want to draw attention to the dancing scene during the party which should feel odd and out of place considering the nature of the film, however it works really well and is a nice moment of comic relief, which provides us with some of the most unique shots of the whole feature.

Overall, a strong Ritchie film not quite Snatch but definitely up there.

Pros.

Elba

The pacing

The ending

Entertaining throughout

Cons.

The homosexual subplot is too drawn out and a little homophobic

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Redemption/Hummingbird: Jason Statham The Sensitive Soul

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ex-special forces soldier Joey, Jason Statham, is on the run from a dishonourable discharge and has become a homeless drug addict wondering the streets of London. This all changes when he finds his way into an apartment where the tenant is away for several months, so Joey stays and assumes this other person’s identity and begins to recover himself.

Let it be said to anyone, who like I has ever doubted Jason Statham’s ability as a dramatic actor that this film proves he has chops. Yes, there are some punchy punchy scenes but for the most part this film is about addiction, recover and the ability to return from the darkness. Rather surprisingly Statham really shines here and gives quite a well emoted, resonating performance that actually has you feeling things for the character.

Steven Knight continues to prove his fantastic dramatic sensibilities here and crafts an incredibly effecting film. This film is at times hard to watch, I did find myself becoming depressed whilst watching it, however if you stick with it you find an enriching experience that makes you question what is really important to you and provides a very nuanced take on a return from war.

Overall, a surprising turn from Statham makes this one to watch, however it won’t be to everyone’s tastes and can be incredibly depressing.

Pros.

Statham

The conversation it starts about returning from war

The message and the themes

Cons.

It is hard to watch

The ending becomes a brawl at times, and I don’t feel like this fit the film

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Snatch: Brad Pitt’s Best Performance?

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A couple of young gangland thugs, Jason Statham and Stephen Graham, must recruit a traveller boxer, Brad Pitt, to fight for them after he puts their other fight in the hospital over a caravan dispute.

I think this film really shows the best of Guy Ritchie. It is snappy, brutal and comedic in a snarky dark sense. Moreover, it highlights some of the best British acting talent at the time, Graham, Lennie James and Jason Flemyng; not even I will make a case for Statham being an ‘acting’ talent.

However, the clear standout of this film is easily Brad Pitt. Pitt sinks into the role so well you begin to question whether he might actually have been an Irish traveller all along. He entirely leaves behind any Hollywood airs and graces and truly becomes the character, this may be one of his best performances for sure.

The best thing about this film is how well it flows; the pacing simply is top notch. All of the separate stories are woven together in such a way where they all end up at the same point and nicely compliment each other along the way. Furthermore, the film never inflicts a slow moment upon us it is go, go, go keeping us entertained and giving us a few good laughs along the way as well for good measure.

The only thing I could criticise it for is that the ending is too neat, and I would have preferred a little bit more ambiguity or perhaps even a few unanswered questions, though that is just my personal taste.

Overall, an incredibly strong British crime film and maybe the best film of Brad Pitt’s career.

Pros.

Brad Pitt

The best of British’s talent

A few good jokes

Incredibly well structured and paced

Cons.

The ending was a little neat for my taste

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Vendetta: Pulling Silly Faces As You Torture People

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A special forces interrogator, played by Danny Dyer, returns back to the country to track down and punish the gangland thugs that murdered his parents.

Dyer is a British national treasure, that simply is a fact.

This film is hard to watch, yet it is impossible to look away from. There is something horrifically fascinating about watching Dyer’s character dispatch all of these troubled youths whilst pulling silly faces, which he does surprisingly often.

Moreover, I thought the army backstory that Dyer’s character has was intriguing and also laughably far fetch. I liked how all of these senior army people seem to think he is some sort of unkillable warrior god. Moreover, the armed response police officers find him just so charming that they just let him go at the end of the film, despite the fact that he could have killed a police officer.

I do think this film revels in its violence a bit too much, perhaps even to an unpleasant degree. Some have labelled this film ‘torture porn’ and there is a good reason for that. I have no issue with some gore, but this film takes it a bit too far an in my opinion enters the realm of bad taste.

Overall, a grizzly film to watch that whilst satisfying at times is also laughable and iffy taste wise.

Pros.

Dyer

Hard to look away from

The ending and how laughable it all is

Cons.

Bad taste

It tries to hard to make Dyer’s character a hero, when he is more likely a psychopath

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