Villain: The Saddest Of The Gangland Films

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A recently released convict, played by Craig Fairbrass, must try and save his families pub from gangland threats.

To me this film failed to be in any way fun, yes though it is a different type of fun a lot of the gangland films, particularly those with Danny Dyer, have enough charm or gravitas to keep you around and enjoying yourself until the end of the film, this didn’t have that.

Not only was this film depressing, it was morbidly depressing, and seemed to go out of its way to be grim and off putting, honestly watching it made me sad. I understand the point the film was trying to make by having Fairbrass’ character die at the end, the superfluousness of his life style and how in the end even if you win you die, and it did deliver this message however, it just made the film feel even more of a downer and left a bit of a bad taste as well.

Fairbrass is fine he is playing a slightly toned down version of his Rise Of The Foot Soldier character. He tries hard to try and round the character and to add emotional depth though this ends in a colossal failure.

Overall, who was this made for?

Pros.

It is short

Fairbrass is trying

Cons.

The ending

It is depressing

There is no charm to it

It has pacing issues galore

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Boxing Day: Maybe Skip A Family Christmas

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Melvin, played by Aml Ameen, brings his girlfriend, played by Aja Naomi King, home to face the family. A whirlwind ensues.

This film really wasn’t for me. It was unfunny to the point of annoyance and seemed to stretch on and on without any sign of it ending. I don’t think this film had me laugh once throughout.

Moreover, the wider cast were also poorly served, as the film reaches to give them depth but fails and instead just leaves us with a group of characters who are shallow, forgettable and ultimately unlikeable. Worse than all of that a lot of these characters are just written as cliches and tropes that we have all seen hundreds of times before.

Therein lies the big problem with this film for me, it is incredibly been there and done that. From the off you can see where everything is going and rather than try and surprise you the film instead just plays out in an incredibly predictable way with all the generic holiday rom-com plot beats being hit as if the screen writers are trying to tick boxes on a list.

Overall, this film did little for me besides waste my time

Pros.

The ending dance number

I liked the mother stepfather romance

Cons.

It isn’t funny

It has pacing issues

A lot of the side characters are annoying

It relies heavily on cliches and stereotypes

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Boiling Point: The Worst Night Ever

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A chef must contend with a nightmare evening where everything goes wrong.

This is an emotional gut punch of a film, stressful is how I would describe it. The stress being felt by Stephen Graham’s Andy is so palpable that it comes through the screen and you feel it too. You latch on to Andy so much and relate with him as he is just trying to keep it all together, however as the film progress you see that maybe Andy isn’t so great. I enjoy the emotional ambiguity towards the end of the film, I think it makes the whole piece feel more rounded and nuanced.

In many ways this film feels like a horror film and is hard to watch at times if you have ever worked in a restaurant before either in the kitchen or in the front of house you will feel the terror of this film and it will leave you in a cold sweat.

I think the greatest thing about this film is Stephen Graham. Graham is one of the most reliable actors working today, often terrific and when used properly is the high point of any film that is the case here. Graham play’s damaged character just so well and throughout the film he portrays the moral ambiguity and vulnerability of Andy with such sincerity that he becomes real.

Overall, a magnificent film that is sure to horrify anyone who has ever worked in a restaurant.

Pros.

Graham

The tension

The moral ambiguity

The ending

Cons.

The health inspection scene drags for just a little bit

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Calendar Girls: The Calendar That Titillated The World

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of older Yorkshire women pose nude for a calendar to raise money for cancer patients. Based on a true story.

I found this film to be enjoyable to watch and mostly feel good. Yes, there were one or two moments that were a little on the depressing side but for the most part it was a cheery celebration of life.

I thought all of the performances across the board were strong, Helen Mirren and Julie Walters are both compelling co-leads and both are relatable with their individual struggles and how they handle their fame. I thought it benefited the film to have the reflection on fame and what it can do to up end a life, it made the characters feel genuine and real.

My issues with the film would come as a result of a very played out narrative that feels been there done that. Obviously this film was pinned down as it was a true story so had to stick to that, but a lot of the emotional beats and revelations about life felt deeply generic and puddle deep. The film was also insanely predictable.

Overall, a sweet if overly familiar film.

Pros.

Mirren and Walters

It is very watchable

A few funny lines

Cons.

It is very predictable

It feels played out

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Off The Rails: Singing Song Lyrics Out Loud To Signify You Are Sad

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of friends get together after the death of one of their member and decide to go on a European trip.

Frankly there just isn’t anything new about this film, you have seen this film before and no the film doesn’t do anything new with it.

A bigger issue with this film is the fact that it is overly sentimental and that none of its emotion comes across and genuine or heartfelt. Rather it comes across as depressing. All of the emotional moments in this film feel cliched and predictable and as such have no impact. By the end of the film you are left feeling depressed and as though you might have wasted your time.

This film makes a big deal out of the fact that it heavily features the music of Blondie, even having the characters singing lyrics in supposedly sad moments for some reason, however even as a Blondie fan I didn’t find anything particularly impressive about this. Other than the very ham-fisted way I have already mentioned the catalogue of songs are not used for any real purpose.

Overall, though I like Sally Phillips, and she is a saving grace here, this film is simply depressing and played out.

Pros.

Phillips

It is short

Cons.

It is depressing

They waste Blondie

The emotion doesn’t land and feels fake

Judy Dench is forced in for no reason

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Robin Robin: Whilst You Sleep At Night Mice Steal Your Food

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young robin called Robin, voiced by Bronte Carmichael, is taken in by a family of mice, but must then find out who she is after she realises she doesn’t make for a very good mouse.

My track record with Aardman Animation is mixed, I liked Wallace and Gromit and thought Early Man was okay, but I really didn’t like Chicken Run. So when it came to watching this I was mixed, however I have to say this is easily the best Aardman feature to date and if this is any indication for what they are going to produce through their collaboration with Netflix then I am very on board for what is to come.

I thought the film was sweet and really sold its message of being yourself and being proud of who you are well. I enjoyed all the characters and thought each had their moments to shine over the features run time. I thought the pace was well decided as well, as by keeping it short it allowed the film to have a real momentum that lead to it be constantly engaging and never boring.

Finally, there is a musical element to this film which could be hit or miss for people, for me I thought it worked and I enjoyed almost all of the songs, bar the final proper one during the third act, but for the most part I thought the songs added to the film’s charm.

Overall, a lovely little animated Christmas film.

Pros.

It is sweet

It is well paced

It has fun characters

The songs work well

Cons.

The third act could use work as it is a little played out

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Repeat: Don’t Talk To The Dead

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ryan Moore, played by Tom England, devotes his life to creating a machine that can supposedly allow a person to contact the dead. However, during his obsession his daughter goes missing and he then tries to use his machine to find her on the other side and either save her from dying or bring her back.

I think this film has a strong hook. The premise feels fresh and I can’t remember seeing other films like it, moreover, the narrative doesn’t end up where you are expecting it to, there are some twists and turns and for the most part they are quite shocking and unexpected.

The marketing I had seen for this film made me think it was a horror film, however this is untrue. I would say this film is more of a bleak, Black Mirror esque, science fiction film. With that I found it to be at times quite bleak and upsetting, though I suppose that was the point. With the notion of be careful what you wish for being central to the narrative of the film.

I thought the performances across the board were fairly strong with both England and Charlotte Ritchie doing a lot with what they were given, and turning their characters into real people that you can empathise with.

Overall, a strong science fiction film that was a little too bleak for my taste.

Pros.

The acting

The plot

The twist

Cons.

Manically bleak

A few pacing issues

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The Souvenir: The World’s Most Depressing Film

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young woman, played by Honor Swinton Byrne, falls in love with an older man, played by Tom Burke, however there romance is a bad one and things quickly descend.

My, my if you are looking to become depressed then look no further than this film. It is one of the bleakest, grimmest films I have ever seen. Honestly by the time the credits began to role I felt depressed. I understand the film might be reflective of the real life horrors that inspired it, but that doesn’t mean audiences want to see it. I can not imagine anyone choosing to watch this film and then finishing it, if it weren’t for the purposes of this review I would not have.

I only put this film on because I enjoy Richard Ayoade, but he was barely in it. Truly he was the white whale of this film, I kept at it and kept at it hoping for more time with him but sadly we only got a brief hello.

The emotions of the film rung true and I suppose that is the only thing I can really compliment the film on. Everything felt very genuine and I didn’t doubt the sincerity of the script or those delivering it.

Overall, manically depressing.

Pros.

The emotional feels genuine

Richard Ayoade for the brief moments we get with him

Cons.

It is bleak

You will leave it feel depressed

Pacing issues

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Last Night In Soho: Students Are The Worst

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Fashion student Ellie, played by Thomasin McKenzie, becomes wrapped up in a sinister world of sixties intrigue and murder after she begins boarding at a London bedsit. Each time Ellie goes to sleep she gets visions of a time before her own as she sees through someone else’s eyes, however as it progresses it no longer stays confined to the world of sleep.

This film is honestly masterful, Edgar Wright manages to go from lighter and more silly fare to dark and twisted horror with the ease that many of us find when opening the door in the morning. Though there have been many stories about a young starlet’s, played by Anya Taylor- Joy, downwards decline after the industry, nay the world, chews her up and leaves her for dead, none have been told as well as this. Whether it is the surprising misdirects, or the ultimate reveal the writing feels incredibly fresh and well-reasoned, for once I was not able to guess the twist.

I think the most powerful thing about this film is how it vocalises and raises awareness to the horrors women face on a daily basis. There is something of an anger within this film towards men, rightfully so I might add. This film shows just how perverse, cruel and ultimately maddening the world can be to a young woman, how toxic men can try and control them or coerce them, and truly that is the scariest thing about it. The real frightening thing about this notion is that the world as we see it in the sixties flashbacks is not so different from the modern world of Ellie, and us the audience.

From a filmmaking point of view everything about this film is sublime even down to the performances.

Overall, Edgar Wright magnificently manages to tackle a whole new genre with ease and create one of the strongest horrors of the year.

Pros.

The subversions

The ending

Anya Taylor-Joy’s sinister performance

The comments on society

Strong scares throughout

Cons.

One or two ideas needed development

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Borley Rectory: Animation Makes Everything Creepier

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An animated documentary telling the history of ‘the most haunted house in Britain’.

I found this to be quite the frightening watch, the fact it was animated rather than the standard live action documentary really helped to give it a leg up over the competition. In that vein the film offers a number of striking visuals through this medium that stick with you after watching, my favourite and the one I found to be the creepiest would be the ghost man sitting on the little girls bed and turning to look into the camera.

Moreover, I found this to be a good documentary both in the sense that it was entertaining, the learning was fun, but also because it helped me to better understand the haunted geography and landscape of my own country a bit better. Before this I had a base understanding of why Borley Rectory was supposed to be haunted, now I know enough to confidently converse on the subject- as I am doing now.

My one issue with this film would be that it jumped around in time a lot. Now quite a lot of documentaries jump around with time but normally they do it in a linear way as in this happened then this then this, however this film doesn’t abide by that rule and jumps backwards as well as forwards which quickly becomes confusing. This is certainly not the sort of film you can ‘half’ watch as you will soon be lost with it.

Overall, a good creepy documentary.

Pros.

It is scary

The animation gives it an edge

A few good scares

It is interesting

Cons.

It can be confusing

It ends rather abruptly

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