What If Season Three Overview: Shut Down Marvel Animation

Talk about throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

So before this series aired it was well known that What If was not coming back, yet did they think to have it go out on top? Oh no. What Marvel animation produced is one of worst things that Marvel Studios has ever dumped onto Disney Plus in disgrace.

Where to start, maybe with the fact that none of the characters you know and want to see are shown here, no Iron Man, no Scarlett Witch, no Cap, but hey you do get popular Phase 4/5 characters like Agatha, Shang Chi and Kate Bishop, remember them? Worse yet rather than show us what if scenarios based on characters we like they decide to give us all new characters that mean nothing to us, Howard the Duck and Darcy have a kid, yes casual bestiality in an MCU show, and she is an important character later in the season. I bet you can hardly contain your excitement.

To break it down episode by episode so you can get a flavour of what is just so bad about the season, the first episode reads as a kid copying off their more successful friend in this case Marvel Animation stealing ideas wholesale from Pacific Rim and Godzilla. The second is an old Hollywood pat on the back with Agatha, one of the least popular characters in the MCU. The third tries to be a spy thriller sort of affair with Winter Soldier and Red Guardian yet reads more as how much can David Harbour embarrass himself in twenty minutes. The fourth is the infamous duck sex. The fifth features a Riri Williams the bargain basement Iron Man clone with multiple failed comics runs to her name. The sixth is an old west adventure with Shang Chi and Kate Bishop, who have about as much chemistry as two neighbours who have had a bitter blood feud for twenty years. The seventh is a Captain Carter and her new characters adventure across the multiverse, this is probably the best episode though that doesn’t mean its good, it sets up an interesting finale and has Storm so those memberberies are present.

The finale takes anything good about episode seven and defecates all over it and serves it up to you on a bed of middle fingers, it is about twenty minutes of Captain Carter and co punching the watchers until she finally kills herself at the end. The death of Captain Carter should have felt like something she was the show’s most important creation and yet it just felt like you had twenty minutes of your time wasted, they could have done so much with this and taken the finale in a number of ways and yet they just didn’t.

Overall, this leaves a bad taste in my mouth after a year of questionable Marvel offerings with worse yet to come. Personally I believe the age of Marvel Studios is well and truly over and I don’t think they can come back, I think it is over.

0/5

Pros.

There is nothing redeemable about it

Cons.

They seem allergic to using popular characters

The finale is terrible

The casual bestiality

It isn’t entertaining

You feel nothing

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Wallace and Gromit Vengeance Most Fowl: Keep Out Of Yorkshire

Summary

Wallace, voiced by Benjamin Whitehead, and Gromit are back and this time they are dealing with smart technology.

So I like Aardman, and I think the studio is talented but I really think it depends on the project, for example all of the Wallace and Gromit films are good, as is Robin Robin and the first Chicken Run, however things like Early Man, The Netflix Chicken Run, Shaun The Sheep and their segment for the second season of Star Wars Visions are bad. It is a mixed bag.

With this film I would argue it is watchable and has its moments but isn’t as strong as any of the other film films in the series particularly Wererabbit. I just found the inciting incident to be a little bit gimmicky, the smart gnomes felt a bit like taking a franchise that felt like it was set in the past, by design and that added to it, and then forcing in modern tech in a desperate attempt to seem trendy.

Bringing back Feathers McGraw was a good decision and the ending fight atop a train bridge was a lot of fun, as was him escaping to Yorkshire. It was a joke that only certain people may have gotten but it landed for me, I would have liked to have seen more of him throughout the film rather than wasting so much time with the gnomes.

Overall, good but not a patch on Wererabbit

3/5

Pros.

It is watchable

There is still a charm there

The ending

Cons.

It wastes too much time

The smart gnome feels gimmicky

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Monster House: The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

Summary

A possessed house is eating people.

So this is a classic of yesteryear often appearing on a lot of most underrated animated films lists. For me growing up this was a regular staple, I watched this film a lot, and watching it now I still think it holds up.

Whilst the animation is quite ugly it never strays too far into the uncanny valley, so unlike something like the Jim Carry Christmas Carol you are never left feeling disconcerted. I would also argue that despite this animation issue the film manages to be quite deep and effecting.

The love story at the heart of the film, I won’t spoil anything, is well done and quite a novel take on that sort of storyline. It helps you to empathise with the house and to feel a lot of emotion at the end of the film. I wouldn’t say it is an emotional gut punch in the way some animated films are, but I would say there is more than enough to get you a little misty eyed.

Overall, an animated classic that you really should check out if you haven’t already.

3.5/5

Pros.

It has a beautiful love story

It is well written

It has engaging characters

The ending is bittersweet

Cons.

The animation is a little rough

The sidekick kid can be annoying

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Lord Of The Rings The War Of The Rohirrim: The Death Of The Girl Boss

Summary

A footnote from an appendix gets a film made about them, as that helps fight the patriarchy.

So in a world where The Rings Of Power season two can be called ‘the best tv show of the year’, which even though I liked it more than some is simply wrong, we have this film. Hera, voiced by Gaia Wise, is not an overlooked character in the wider works, she simply isn’t a character she’s a throwaway line and that’s fine. The facts of the matter are twofold firstly, this film was only made for rights issues, and secondly that the only reason it focuses on Hera rather than Helm, Brian Cox, you know an actually important character is because of modern day girl boss identity politics.

Hera is automatically fantastic at everything and all of her male counterparts are either stupid or evil, or both. Moreover, the film throws things from the original trilogy at you such as Saruman, voiced by Christopher Lee, but this is little more than nostalgia bait. I will admit I showed up after hearing bad things about the film because of the respect I have for Lee and I wanted to see what the film would do with him, considering he’s been dead for almost a decade. The few lines, and I mean like two or three, are fine it sounds like Lee but sadly it is not impactful and just feels like more member berries.

If WBD could move away from identity politics and accept that the blue hairs on X will never like Tolkien and that’s fine we don’t need them in the fandom and actually started properly adapting things like Unfinished Tales with respectful artistic license then they could have major hits on their hands, but they need to do better than this. It will flop like Furiosa did for them earlier in the year, and the take away lesson for them is this, the girl boss is dead the folks rose up and said no more to the stoic Karens and we now live in a post girl boss age.

Overall, a waste of time and money

1.5/5

Pros.

It shows us some classic book locations

The animation looks nice

Cons.

It is too long

Hera is a bland character

It is a girl boss narrative through and through

Canonically there are problems with it

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A Christmas Carol: Jim Carry Does A Yorkshire Accent

Summary

A Christmas Carol is animated and Jim Carrey attempts to do a Yorkshire accent.

As a child this was my favourite version of the Dicken’s classic, however, now watching it all these years later I find it has rather lost its charm. In many senses this suffers from the same sort of problem as The Polar Express and that is to say that the animation leans a little too closely into the uncanny valley and comes off as quite menacing and upsetting at times.

I appreciated Carrey’s performance and thought it was a high point of the film for sure, even his questionable Yorkshire accent for the Ghost of Christmas Present. His Scrooge really does feel the part in a way that a lot of the other on screen depictions just don’t.

I would argue that the ending needs a bit of work as when the transformation happens and Scrooge becomes nice rather than this feeling happy and like a personality shifted, it comes across a little bit manic here and a little as though Scrooge is having a breakdown. I would have said a positive but more subdued performance would have worked better here than a louder and more over the top one.

Overall, though a novel idea to animated the classic Christmas tale it is not without its issues.

2.5/5

Pros.

Carrey

Some impressive visuals

It is entertaining

Cons.

The animation can be too uncanny valley

The ending is a little too manic

It has pacing issues

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Spellbound: Rachel Zegler Is Banned From The Press Tour

Summary

Kids learn about the wonders of divorce from an early age.

So the plot of this film is that a royal couple argue a lot and it turns them into monsters and only when they realise that they cannot be together any more can they turn back into their old selves. Is that message on the nose enough for you? Or does it need to reach into your living room and clip you around the ears?

Moreover, the film stars one of the most unlikeable people in Hollywood right now in Rachel Zegler, who is an overly opinionated young person who thinks she knows better than people twice her age. The question is am I talking about Zegler the person or her character in the film? It’s a trick question, the answer is both.

Furthermore, even with all of that aside the film has no charm, when you consider that the director is the same person who directed the original Shrek one of the most charming animated films ever, you are left to question what happened?

Overall, Skydance animation really need to overhaul their approach because so far they have been making dud after dud and surely they can’t afford to keep that going forever.

1/5

Pros.

It is short

Cons

Zegler

The message

It is generic

It is badly paced

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Moana Two: Sailing The Seas Of Mediocrity

Summary

We take to the seas once again, why? Well there isn’t really a reason for that.

This film is one of the worst written animated films I have seen in a long while. It is abundantly clear that Disney just think that kids and families will eat up any old slop so what’s the point trying to make it good.

Moreover, much like more soulful animated fare from this year like The Wild Robot there is no charm here. They try and have it be oh this is a big emotional journey and it wants to make you feel, but you don’t. It is hollow and soulless and at times feels like they have taken the carcass of the first film ripped any remaining meat from its withered bones and just thrown it out in cinemas.

I question narratively what is the point in this film it doesn’t really change the status quo all that much and it doesn’t develop the characters in any meaningful way, it just feels like you’re going through the motions repeating things you liked more in the previous film.

Overall, don’t waste your kids life on substandard animated films.

1/5

Pros.

The water looks pretty

Cons.

It is a cash grab

It adds nothing to the characters or the world

It has no charm

It is boring

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Rick And Morty Season 7 Season Overview

Summary

Rick and Morty matures.

After the end of season 6 I had taken somewhat of a break from the show, and so returning now I didn’t know quite what to expect especially with a new voice actors.

However, I found it to be far more of a meditative and contemplative of a season than I was expecting it to be. What I notice was a more overt shift in Rick’s character, he cares more about his family than ever before, this season really feels very therapeutic for Rick as a character.

I found the wrapping up of the prime Rick storyline to be interesting, I am glad they didn’t drag it out. I thought bringing back evil Morty in more positive role was an interesting choice I am surprised they went there, however, after seeing it I am glad they did.

Another thing I noticed is that this season has a number of one off episodes yet they feel from connected to the other episodes, there is not this question, this battle between continuity random silly fun to wed here in a much more fluid way. I think this is reflective of the writing evolving with the show.

This season certainly brought me back to the fold, however, I would say that it was surprisingly sparse on things for the wider family and side characters to do, it was a very Rick and Morty season. Whilst I like the focus being on these two I do also like to see the family developed and explored so that was missed.

Overall, a solid season with good character work

4/5

Pros.

Rick

Morty

Blending continuity with serialization

The more mature themes

Cons.

A lack of family centered episodes

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The Wild Robot: Rewilding In The Extreme

Summary

A robot lands on a planet and tries to help them complete tasks.

So on the surface of it this film doesn’t have much going for it, the premise is a little uninspired and doesn’t do much to get you to engage with the film, however, the film really manages to deliver on the emotional stakes.

I found the film to be quite emotionally impactful and I really ended up caring about the interpersonal relationships of the characters by the end of it. I would argue that this emotional resonance manages to balance out the lack of charm, as unlike other DreamWorks’ film such as Shrek this film didn’t have the same sort of personability or even humour.

I would say that Lupita Nyong’o was the right choice for the role of the robot as she doesn’t have to put in much in the way of emotion into her performance. A lack of emotion seems to be a hallmark of Nyong’o’s acting style.

Overall, an emotional rollercoaster of a film without much charm on the character side of things

3/5

Pros.

The emotion

The ending

The animation

Cons.

A lack of charm

Nyong’o

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Legend Of The Tomb Raid: Series Overview

Summary

Haley Atwell’s turn as Lara Croft is a botch from top to bottom.

It is such a shame to say that Hayley Atwell who was a great fit for Croft, though I would have gone live action, is really wasted here. The series feels very generic and as thought it could be based on anything, the series doesn’t seem to understand the games at all.

Moreover, the physicality of Lara Croft with her looking jacked and pretty masculine doesn’t track either, in the games she doesn’t look like that, in no other fiction is she shown in such a way. That is also true for the fact that now Lara is BI a detail that again has no origin in anything other than it’s a Netflix show so of course she is now.

Crucially the series doesn’t have any of the heart or the fun of the games, raiding tombs doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom and action Lara does have a softer and funnier side, and that is actually shown in the games.

Overall, Netflix has done what it does with everything .

0.5/5

Pros.

It isn’t as bad as it could have been

Cons.

Netflix modernise it

It has nothing to do with the games or the character

It wastes Atwell

It has no fun or heart

It makes Lara look masculine

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