Clogwyn: Don’t Throw Your Dreams Away

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A man’s dream of starting a business in the UK are derailed after he becomes addicted to gambling.

I want to open this review by saying how powerful and important I think this short is. In our current world there are adverts for gambling everywhere, often with minimal government regulation, as such big gambling firms are in a prime position to make a killing from people without facing any real consequences as they ruin people’s lives and that is scary.

I think the plot of this film is a plight that many people will be able to relate to in one way or another, this isn’t superhumans battling it out in the streets or a war for an alien world it is something that has effected most people, most people have either been effected by gambling addiction or know someone who has and that’s why this film is so compelling.

My only negative in regard to this film would be that it could have been more in-depth. It shows most aspects to serious gambling addictions, but it could have shown more of the warning signs and highlighted further just how destructive it can be.

Overall, a powerful and moving short.

Pros.

The impact

It really hits home

It is very relatable

It is powerful and moving

You really feel for the characters

Cons.

It could have been a bit longer and more in-depth

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Orphan First Kill: Grey And Lifeless

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ester’s origins are explored with the help of a simply awful lighting and colour gradient combo.

Really this film shouldn’t have been made. They add in some new twists and turns here, but for the most part it can’t hope to compete with the twist from the first film that Ester, played by Isabelle Fuhrman, who everyone thought was a child was in fact a grown adult. Once you know that twist a lot of the places this prequel goes to are not very exciting.

Moreover, as I said in the above summary there is some really quite poor lighting and colouring choices in this film that makes vast parts of it hard to see or tell what is going on, furthermore this is only worsen by a grey hue that seems to stick to the film throughout giving it a dull and lifeless air.

However, it is not all terrible as the film for the most part is very watchable. In addition a surprisingly out of left field evil turn from Jessica Stiles makes for captivating watching, the film would be a lot wore without Stiles in it that’s for sure.

Overall, a very average film that didn’t really need to be made.

Pros.

Stiles

It is watchable

The ending

Cons.

Once you know the twist from the first film it takes a lot away from this prequel

The lighting and colour work is awful

The pace is aggressively bad

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Easter Sunday: Tame and Bland

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A struggling single father, played by Jo Koy, heads home to spend Easter Sunday with his dysfunctional family.

When I saw the trailer for this film I was happy as I thought it could begin to fill the hole of Filipino representation within the industry, and while yes it is nice to see this group more widely represented it is just a shame that the film that is doing this important task is actually quite naff.

Before this film I had not really seen Koy’s stand-up before, so was unfamiliar with what to expect; I am more of a Marc Maron type personally. What I found watching was that Koy wasn’t very funny, I don’t know if I just don’t gel with his comedic stylings or whether the material for the film was bad, but what I do know is that whilst watching it I didn’t laugh more than once or twice in the film’s whole runtime.

In many respects this film reminded me of the cinematic comedic vehicles that the likes of Chris Tucker, Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers used to get, however, I would say the big difference here is that Koy semes to find it hard to keep the film going. I would argue and perhaps I am wrong, as like I said before I was unfamiliar with him before this, that he may not be a strong enough comedian to anchor a film like this.

Overall, watchable, but not very funny.

Pros.

It is watchable

One or two funny jokes

Cons.

Most of the jokes don’t land

It is badly paced

Koy doesn’t seem a strong enough comedian to anchor this film

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Me Time: Hart Brings The Heart

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Kevin Hart is an untight family man you needs to learn to cut lose, enter his old friend Huck, played by Mark Wahlberg.

On this the face of it this is an incredibly by the numbers comedy film, in almost everyway you have seen this before, Mark Wahlberg himself has made this exact same film before in fact. However, no one ever said a comedy film had to be the height of originality, the real question is, is it funny?

In terms of humour the film is more hit than miss, there are a number of memorable gags but for the most part its fairly weak stuff. For those of you out there who might be hoping for some raunchy material the film is far more family friendly than I was expecting it to be.

I think the best thing about this film and its biggest selling point is Kevin Hart. Hart is doing very well in this family comedy circuit where he plays a dorky family man looking to break loose, I think Hart brings a real sense of heart and soul to these roles that makes it hard not to root for him, with a different actor in the lead this film would be a lot worse for sure.

Overall, nothing revolutionary but watchable with a boost from Hart

Pros.

Hart

It is watchable

It has some wholesome charm

Cons.

Fairly low energy Wahlberg

It is nothing you haven’t seen before

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The Rings Of Power: My Experience And Why I Won’t Be Reviewing It, Beyond The First Episode

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A new Middle Earth saga begins, one that will leave few happy.

So this will be part review part what went wrong. If you can’t already see, I didn’t enjoy my time with the show.

Let’s get the obvious low hanging fruit out of the way first, yes there is a lot of quiet clear forced diversity in the show, as that seems to be the only thing Hollywood wants to do these days, and yes all of the male characters that Galadriel, played by Morfydd Clark, comes into contact with are weak and stupid and whilst both of these things are mildly annoying I would not say they are the main issue.

I think the thing that made this first episode so hard to watch, indeed I had to watch it in parts because I could only stomach about 20 minutes of it at a time, is the pacing. The pacing is simply awful, not only does very, very little happen but the episodes are on for way too long and drawing out the episodes only further highlights how empty they are.

Honestly, I don’t think this show needed to exist, I think Amazon made it to try and have their own Game Of Thrones after The Wheel Of Time didn’t turn into what they wanted it to be, and I think that is very clear in every frame. For the record I don’t think this show will ever hold a candle to Game Of Thrones unless they make drastic changes to it, which they won’t.

Overall, sadly this show was what a lot of people feared it might be, needless.

Pros.

The visuals are good but you would expect that for the money spent

Clark makes a good Galadriel

Cons.

The forced in identity politics

The pace

The lack of anything really happening

It doesn’t justify its existence

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Fisherman’s Friends One And All: It Is Okay To Not Be Okay

5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Fisherman’s Friends must deal with a changing world and the price of fame as they return for another outing.

This was a nigh on perfect film, it had everything you would want, humour, heart and soul. It made me both laugh and cry. It feels like such an authentic film, which yes is boosted by the fact that it is based on real events but also because of the fact that this feels as removed from Hollywood as you can get, though not quite low budget indie film level.

Moreover, I really appreciated and enjoyed the focus on men’s mental health. I thought the speech that Jim, played by James Purefoy, gave about it being okay to not be okay was really important, as on a personal level I know men who struggle with their mental health but feel like they can’t talk about it or get help for it as such it is nice to see the message being spread that it is okay to ask for help and to cry.

In addition the cast across the board is great, but Purefoy is the anchor of the film and really sells the emotion and the passion. I think without Purefoy this film wouldn’t be half as good.

Overall, a lovely film that as many people as possible should see.

Pros.

Purefoy

The focus on men’s mental health

The shanties

It feels like a sequel that deserves to exist

The end credits scenes with the real people

Cons.

None

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Nice Guys Sleep Alone: You’ll Need A Shower After This One

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Films like this are why we have incels.

The idea that ‘nice guys finish last’ is the hallmark of the dirty unwashed guys who show up to dates with BO and stained clothes and then proceed to neg the girl they are trying to court and then get surprised when they don’t want to be with them. In short it is the motto of the loser. This film really does run with that message as the lead, played by Sean O’Bryan, loses girl after girl because he is just too nice and then when he finally decided to be a dick to his next romantic interest she only wants nice guys. Firstly, if a girl doesn’t like you because you are too nice that is on her, no one should ever change you in a relationship, however the idea that being a dick is a way to attract a mate is equally flawed and toxic.

I understand there is a degree of satire going on here, but honestly this whole film reeked of pick up artist slime to me, and as such I could not warm to the lead at all, in fact if anything the fact that he was prepared to turn into a dick to try and get girls shows that he wasn’t a nice guy at all and that he was in fact a slimy loser who deserved to end up alone, but because this is a rom-com we can’t have that. Ah the toxic and widely problematic romantic comedy subgenre everyone. Maybe we weren’t supposed to like him at all.

Overall, though it is trying to satirise dating culture this film feels like a relic better left behind.

Pros.

Occasionally it is unintentionally funny

Cons.

The satire doesn’t really land

It is toxic

It is not fun to watch

Few to none of the characters are at all likeable

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Spin Me Round: Spilling Sauce

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A restaurant manger wins a trip to Italy and a whirlwind romance begins, then quickly ends.

This to me marked me returning to the Baena path, I really enjoyed Life After Beath and The Little Hours, but Horse Girl really turned me off in a big way, however I am pleased to say he is back on form here.

I found this to be both comfort viewing whilst also having Baena signature absurdist uncomfortability. I liked that the romance was atypical and that at the end of the film Alison Brie’s lead did not go back to her sleezy lothario, I think in many ways this film acts as an antidote for the miles upon miles of toxic rom-coms out there that suggest even incredibly problematic behaviour can be made up for just with a grand gesture.

Moreover, the continued electric chemistry between Aubrey Plaza and Alison Brie, which can be referenced again in Baena’s The Little Hours, is on strong form here and the scenes that the two actors share steal the film. My one complaint in this regard would be that Plaza’s character disappears midway into the film and you find yourself wishing that she would return. However, that wish is never realised.

The main reason I have given this film a 4 and not a 5 is because though it is good and enjoyable for a number of different reasons, I didn’t find it to have stuck in my mind after watching. This staying power is usually the hallmark of a 5.

Overall, fun but not memorable.

Pros.

The chemistry between Plaza and Brie

It is very watchable

The ending acts as a balm to the many injustices of the rom-com genre

The absurdist elements

Cons.

It is good not great

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Time To Worry Darling: How Olivia Wilde Exposed Herself And Doomed Her Film

Written by Luke Barnes

A disclaimer before we begin, a lot of this piece will be based on leaked information, and journalistic pieces commenting on the supposed feud between Olivia Wilde and Florence Pugh. I cannot say that all the information that I will be referencing and talking about will be accurate as again a lot of it is based on speculation, but I will endeavour to add to this. What follows is my opinion.

So to provide a brief history of the supposed events before we really get into things, a lot of the bad publicity for Don’t Worry Darling directed by Olivia Wilde, began when she cheated on her fiancé and hooked up with Harry Styles, a poor character move to be sure and one which if done by a man would get far more flack, but this is just the tip of the iceberg. Following this there was talks of a rift between Wilde and her leading lady Florence Pugh over disagreements on set, which were no doubt made worse by the fact that Styles was being paid more for his role in the film than Pugh. This falling out can be seen by the fact that Pugh has refused to do press for the film, a red flag for sure. Additionally Wilde has proven herself a liar and a hypocrite by saying that she had a no assholes on set policy, that is paraphrased but it is something like that, yet she cast accused sexual abuser Shia LaBeouf and begged him to stay on after he quit, this can be seen in leaked video footage. In the same footage Wilde implies that by keeping him around it will give, someone implied to be Pugh, a wake up call, it has been said that LaBeouf made Pugh feel uneasy on set.

I think what makes all of this worse is the fact that not only is Wilde refusing to comment on it, but she is also playing the victim. Once upon a time she may have had credibility in this category and been believed but since all the leaked footage has come out we now all know she is a liar. In this post MeToo timeframe many people have seemed to forget that women can be just as dickish as men, and to even suggest it seems to be a capital offense. I just think that if Wilde was a man the narrative forming around her would be far more damning. Toxic femininity exists too.

Moreover, the film itself is now getting bad reviews from critics, which I am not surprised by as it looks like it has taken social horror aspects from well received films such as Get Out and forced them into their own narrative in order to try and get people to think the film is deep or even just well done. I think it was clear from the trailers that this film wasn’t going to be good.

The real losers here are Warner Brothers Discovery who needed this film and Black Adam to make tidy profits and sure things up for the studios finances, however, now it looks like through the bad word of mouth, bad reviews and the controversy that Don’t Worry Darling is doomed.

*Breaking News Update: Harry Styles just spat on Chris Pratt at the film’s first showing, showing he is just as bad as Wilde. It just keeps getting worse folks.

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House Of The Dragon: The Rogue Prince

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Prince Daemon, played by Matt Smith, further builds his power as King Viserys, played by Paddy Considine, is forced to seek out a new wife.

I think this episode builds on the strengths of the last and doubles down on the intrigue. It is still not quite on the level of Game Of Thrones at its peak but it is starting to come into its own for sure.

I think Matt Smith is still the scene stealer, however Milly Alcock’s Princess Rhaenyra is starting to also approach his level. The dual dragon stand off that happened towards the episode was really tense and impressive, I think the scene worked without the dragons even needing to fight: the scale and VFX on display really landed.

I also liked that the final moments of the episode introduced us to a new big bad for the series, whether they are only a minor season villain or something bigger remains to be seen, however, it does now allow the story to have more to drive towards. Hopefully this new villain can be developed further in the coming episodes.

Overall, a strong second episode that keeps the promise alive.

Pros.

Dare I allow myself to hope again?

The Dragonstone sequence

The new villain introduction

Smith and Alcock continue to be stand outs

Cons.

Some of the King’s Landing scenes were a little too slow paced.

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