The Mean One: Like The Grinch But Worse

Summary

The Grinch, David Howard Thronton, goes bad and goes on a killing spree.

Basically if you have seen the Winnie The Poo slasher this is the same thing yet now with a Christmas character instead, I don’t think the Grinch is yet in the public domain so they call him The Mean One here instead.

In many ways this feels like a student film, and believe me that is harsh. None of it is particularly good, it is made on the cheap, near always dark even in places with lights on, the acting won’t be winning any awards any time soon and the film takes itself far too seriously. This film needs to be more like Nightmare On Elm Street and by that I mean it needs to have fun and embrace the ridiculousness rather than just being gritty.

I will give praise to Thronton he does bring the physicality as he did with Art, he is a good choice to play the titular Mean One, but sadly he isn’t given much of any note or interest to do, still we do get a few good gruesome kills for all the gore hounds out there.

Overall, not a new horror Christmas classic and more fodder for the horror twist of a beloved family film school of schlock

1/5

Pros.

A few good kills

Cons.

It is dumb

The characters aren’t likeable

It doesn’t have fun with it

It is too dark to see anything most of the time

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Loki Season Two Overview

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Loki, Tom Hiddleston, is back as the multiverse’s repair man.

This was much better than the slog that was Secret Invasion but even so I am left questioning is this what we have come to? What I mean by that is that this is fine, but can’t we hope for better?

I think the last few months has seen Marvel and Disney realise that they need to make less and better shows and films, because cranking them out just because you can is not getting audiences to care. I liked the first season of this show, but did I think it needed a season two no. Again they try and do some stuff with Kang, Jonathan Majors, which now seems doomed to be scrapped, and make Loki some sort of multiversal God but is any of it needed does any of it fill you with the same excitement as when you watched the first Avengers film, no. Maybe I am burnt out perhaps that is it, but for me all of this recent Disney + Marvel stuff has been like did we really need that.

I think that instead of being a mark of quality Marvel shows on Disney + are just fine and filler until the next big film which you actually care about, a drastic overhaul is needed.

Overall, whilst season two has a few good moments I think that it is diminishing returns and I think the show as a whole cannot reach the same entertaining hights it did in the first season, they should stop putting Marvel shows on Disney + as the watering down of the brand is clear to see.

2.5/5

Pros.

Owen Wilson

It has a few good moments

It can be entertaining when it wants to be

Cons.

It is filler

It doesn’t need to exist

A lot of it is for the cutting room floor

Sylve is incredibly irritating and doesn’t stop shouting at Loki for the whole season

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A Colorado Christmas: Vomit Inducing

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A country music star, Brit Ellerman, falls in love with a single mum, Luba Bocain, and has an all American Christmas.

Reviewing Christmas films in February, that is what happens when you fall behind on your backlog, anyway, maybe long enough has past that people are counting down to Christmas again and wishing it was the jolliest season, one can hope at least.

Anyway, there isn’t a huge amount to say except this is exactly what you would expect, it is the most generic form of the textbook. It feels so middle America, yee-haw, that you could imagine this being shown at a Trump rally for how family values should be and for how America is the greatest country on Earth.

If you can put aside the downright fantasy elements of a lot of it, then the sickeningly sweet sentimentality of it all will kill you off. All the characters are troubled and all they need is a little love and family to fix everything wrong with them, you set up the idea that the country music guy isn’t happy in his life and wants a change, will having a family really do that? Wouldn’t changing career paths make more sense.

Overall, it is the sort of pap you watch near Christmas but I think it’s more Pureflix sort of vibe drags it down. Furthermore if you don’t like the yee-haw sort of America I’d give this one a skip too.

1.5/5

Pros.

It is fine

Bocain is clearly a talented actor and deserves a lot better than this

Cons.

The overtly Christian overtones that make it feel like a faith film

The yee-haw America vibe

The sentimentality

It is too long

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Demon Slayer: Swordsmith Village Arc

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Demon Slayer gang head for the Swordsmith Village to rest and repair following the battle in the Entertainment District.

I think that in some ways this is a step up from the Entertainment District Arc and in other ways a step back or a continuation. I liked the story more here I thought it had a lot of good moments such as Nezuko being able to move in the sun, and the introduction of the love Hashira Mitsuri Kanroji who is a scene stealer. Moreover, I thought the threat of the demons themselves were felt more accurately here as the scale of their attack felt larger, in the last arc it was an entire district sure, but here it is the whole village doing battle against the demon attacks which makes the scope feel more epic.

However, I didn’t like that again their was more filler, you could argue that what I call filler is actually backstory for the characters and what not, but I would say a lot of it is largely needless and doesn’t inform much of how we see the characters going forward. It just feels like they don’t want to get on with the main storyline quick enough so they have to pad it out in order to meet the episode count. I also thought the other new Hashira was quite dull and the arc spent a lot of time trying to give him more of a personality but even then you still didn’t like him, one could argue that it is a poor story telling decision to centre so much of your season around an aloof character and expect audiences to them like them or not want to skip through it.

Overall, though it had some cheer worthy moments this is another step backwards and if the filler issue doesn’t get addressed one could foresee that the next arc will be an even further slip in quality.

3/5

Pros.

Some cheer worthy moments

The scale of the final battle

The love Hashira

Cons.

The other Hashira

Far too much filler

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Demon Slayer: Entertainment District Arc

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Demon Slayer gang head for the big city.

I preferred the more individual style of the first batch of episodes wherein they would be less serialised and more loosely connected, like some episodes would carry over but for the most part it felt more like they were going on individual adventures. Anyway, I liked this batch of episodes on the whole, I thought that the new Hashira and his wives were fun and worthwhile additions to the cast, I hope they come back again the future.

I think my major gripe with this arc is that it is a very slow start, the build up to the show down with the siblings takes far too long, there are multiple episodes that almost drag by as though they are killing time, filler I know. In terms of pushing things forward, I think this arc does a lot of good character work and improvements on the main cast as characters in a number of ways. I will say here that making Nezuko into a woman in demon form and giving her a rather low cut top and what not feels a little icky when it is clear that she is clearly a little girl at other points in the show, but maybe there is something cultural I am missing there.

Overall, a little slow in parts but for the most part another fun arc with a lot of entertaining moments.

4/5

Pros.

It advances the characters

The new Hashira and his wives are interesting and good new additions to the cast

The fights are epic

It pushes the story forward in a meaningful way

Cons.

It is a slow start

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The Marvels: Make Iman Vellani The Face Of The MCU And Do It Now

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Captain Marvel, Brie Larson, is back and this time she is more human than before. I am going to catch some hate for this one.

I am one of the few people who loved this film, genuinely I think its great. Now I am not arguing its perfect there are a couple of major things wrong with it, but for the most part it is a lot of fun, the leads have great chemistry together, it is funny and I actually liked the singing world thing.

I think this film did a lot to make Larson’s character a lot more fun and interesting, I warmed to her more here than I did in the first film. I think however, that a big part of what made Larson more likeable and the film as a whole better was Kamala Khan, Iman Vellani, who was a scene stealer here and easily the best part of the whole film. Vellani’s energy is infectious and she is the most compelling member of the team by a country mile. Sadly, the third member of the team who’s name escapes me, the one from Wandavision, is but boring they do nothing with her until the very end and for the rest of the time she is just kind of there.

The singing world won’t be for everyone and I actually liked it for two reasons, firstly Brie Larson is a good singer, and secondly I thought again it made the character more fun and whacky after being overly serious in the first film to the point of being emotionless. Before a range of angry comments come in think about this Tony and Steve in their films made jokes they weren’t stoic all the way throughout, but they did that with Larson in the first film. I didn’t really think the whole oh she is secretly married thing was a good set up for the musical number however and I thought that was a needless detour.

My final point for the film is that the villain was weak as hell, Zawe Ashton, is a good actor and is capable of so much more than this. I don’t blame her though I think an actor is only ever as good as the director and the writer, but still there character was so generic she fades from memory before even the first post credits scene rolls around, which by the way is an odd way to introduce the X-Men but hey.

Overall, maybe Marvel’s best film of last year not perfect but better than Antman and everything they put out on Disney +

4.5/5

Pros.

Brie Larson

Iman Vellani

It is a lot of fun

It is a better sequel in nearly every way

Cons.

The third team member and villain are both incredibly forgettable

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i Carly: The End Of An Era/Season Overview

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Whilst I had reviewed some of the episodes of this third season this is to cover the final few episodes and generally my thoughts on the whole season.

So whilst I liked what they did with Carly, Miranda Cosgrove, and Freddie, Nathan Kress, I thought it all felt a bit rushed. I thought if they had spent more time in the two previous seasons getting to this and setting it up maybe it wouldn’t have been as it was, but as it stands their impromptu wedding just felt a bit flat.

Now knowing as we do that this is the end of the show I think they could have made it much more of an emotional send off then it was, as it stands it doesn’t feel like a proper goodbye to these characters. I mean it is so obvious that in the future they will bring iCarly back for a third revival centred around Carly’s child and it becoming a famous star of whatever the internet is in 5-10 years, maybe sooner if Paramount Plus gets desperate enough.

Don’t get me wrong this last season was nice comfort viewing but I don’t think it, or the rest of the show, will be remembered in the same way as the original show was as this never could reach the same hights. I think the issue with this show was that it made things a little edgier in terms of the hijinks but I think they should have gone more mature yet still, more like Friends or The Big Bang Theory than say something like Girls. Still I think that it felt too safe and family friendly at times in a way that limited the show from growing its audience beyond pre-teens and fans of the original show.

Overall, fine but not the ending the show deserved

3/5

Pros.

Carly and Freddie

A few good laughs

It was enjoyable enough

Cons.

It felt too safe at times

The b plot were incredibly boring at times

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Five Nights At Freddy’s: Possibly The Worst Video Game Movie Ever Made

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An out of work man, Josh Hutcherson, takes a job at a Pizzeria that is full of dead children residing in robots.

I will open this by saying that though I am aware of the game franchise this is based on I have never played one of the games.

I thought this may have been the most disappointing and misguided film of 2023. My central thesis question would be who was this made for? I would guess the hardcore fans and that is it as I entered this film as a normie and didn’t understand most of what was going on. That shows a bad job on the writing front as if you are required to have a dedicated knowledge of a game series to be able to follow the plot of a film then maybe it should have come out on a fan site rather than at the cinema, at least then people like me wouldn’t have wandered into something that clearly wasn’t for us.

Additionally, the tone of this film is also completely off. So, I thought this was a horror film, the games are horror games are they not? Well clearly no one told whoever wrote this film that because for all the scenes you get of the robots ripping people apart it is entirely undone by a film breaking sequence in which they all sit down and have a tea party with a little girl and its all happy and played almost for laughs. Again I understand that their was a hostile undertone to this scene but the music and the dialogue shifted the scene and made it seem like I had entered a screening of Night At The Museum.

The acting is okay, I had forgotten the lead existed in a post Hunger Games age I thought maybe he had retired, he was warm enough and I believed his bond with his sister. Elizabeth Lial faired better and was quite easy to like and root for, it was clear that she was going to be involved in it from the jump but I like that they didn’t make her evil in the end and have kept her alive for the sequel. I think by far and away Matthew Lillard steals the show, I wouldn’t have guess the twist reveal with him and I think he played both ordinary and evil with great relish.

Overall, the actors do their bests but this film is only for the fans and if that isn’t you don’t bother.

0.5/5

Pros.

The actors across the board

Cons.

The tone

The inaccessibility of it

The weird dream stuff

The needless family drama

It Lives Inside: Roots Of The Past Follow And Consume

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Samhinda, Megan Suri, is punished for shunning the ways of her parents.

I was excited for this film, frankly I am quite bored of the bevy of overtly Christian horror films and I thought that a film that relies upon a different sets of religious and cultural practices could be quite fresh and really say something new in the scene. Sadly Blumhouse made this and not someone better.

I think the demon is the most interesting part of the film, the idea of it keeping its victims alive and torturing them is novel when viewed through the eyes of the traditional possession story. I also thought the ending wherein Samhinda allows the demon to possess her but rather than this be bad as in say The Exorcist she instead traps it and controls it inside of her was interesting and I wish they had done more with it. If I were to recut this film I would add ten minutes onto the end of it so we could see more about how Samhinda and the trapped demon interact, but the film has no time for that.

Instead the film wastes its time with a YA love story because of course it does, this is a hallmark of Blumhouse fare especially when it features teen characters it has to spend about a quarter of its runtime away from the main action following around some doe eyed kids until one of them dies. Boring, stop it. I think the relationship between Samhinda and her mum, Neeru Bajwa, is way more compelling but it doesn’t get anywhere near the same screen time bar a few scenes at the end. I think Bajwa’s character was done an injustice as there was a lot to explore there: she didn’t want to come to the US, she wasn’t adjusting well, this film could have tried to dig into those feelings a bit more and had something of substance to say but no we need another teenage romance subplot.

Overall, there are good bones here and it could have been fresh, new and welcome but it falls into the same holes as a lot of Blumhouse more teen orientated fare and as such is lesser.

2/5

The mum daughter relationship

The demon and the lore

Cons.

The romance subplot

It wastes a lot of the first act

The mother’s character outside of her listening and advising her daughter is largely overlooked

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Marionette: Are You Real?

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A therapist, Thekla Reuten, begins taking sessions with a boy, Elijah Wolf, that can seemingly see the future, however, as their time together grows stranger it becomes clear that something far more grand is going on.

This is one of those films that has a twist that you will never guess, now whether that is down to just how outrageously out of left field it is, or because it is well done will be a matter for you to debate after watching it, personally I lean more into the former than the latter.

I will say that the scares regarding the boy and just what is going on are quite well done, and it was nice to see a relatively recent film not have to rely upon jump scares but instead use atmosphere, the bleakness of the remote Scottish village and the menacing weather really add to the whole aura of the film. I think my issue with jump scares is just how obviously they often are and how you can see them coming from a mile away if you know the signs to look for.

Overall, a good thriller with a twist that is either genius or ridiculous it is hard to tell.

3/5

Pros.

The tension and scares

The atmosphere and how the environment informed the film

The ending

Cons.

The ending

The child acting isn’t good

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