What If Season Three Overview: Shut Down Marvel Animation

Talk about throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

So before this series aired it was well known that What If was not coming back, yet did they think to have it go out on top? Oh no. What Marvel animation produced is one of worst things that Marvel Studios has ever dumped onto Disney Plus in disgrace.

Where to start, maybe with the fact that none of the characters you know and want to see are shown here, no Iron Man, no Scarlett Witch, no Cap, but hey you do get popular Phase 4/5 characters like Agatha, Shang Chi and Kate Bishop, remember them? Worse yet rather than show us what if scenarios based on characters we like they decide to give us all new characters that mean nothing to us, Howard the Duck and Darcy have a kid, yes casual bestiality in an MCU show, and she is an important character later in the season. I bet you can hardly contain your excitement.

To break it down episode by episode so you can get a flavour of what is just so bad about the season, the first episode reads as a kid copying off their more successful friend in this case Marvel Animation stealing ideas wholesale from Pacific Rim and Godzilla. The second is an old Hollywood pat on the back with Agatha, one of the least popular characters in the MCU. The third tries to be a spy thriller sort of affair with Winter Soldier and Red Guardian yet reads more as how much can David Harbour embarrass himself in twenty minutes. The fourth is the infamous duck sex. The fifth features a Riri Williams the bargain basement Iron Man clone with multiple failed comics runs to her name. The sixth is an old west adventure with Shang Chi and Kate Bishop, who have about as much chemistry as two neighbours who have had a bitter blood feud for twenty years. The seventh is a Captain Carter and her new characters adventure across the multiverse, this is probably the best episode though that doesn’t mean its good, it sets up an interesting finale and has Storm so those memberberies are present.

The finale takes anything good about episode seven and defecates all over it and serves it up to you on a bed of middle fingers, it is about twenty minutes of Captain Carter and co punching the watchers until she finally kills herself at the end. The death of Captain Carter should have felt like something she was the show’s most important creation and yet it just felt like you had twenty minutes of your time wasted, they could have done so much with this and taken the finale in a number of ways and yet they just didn’t.

Overall, this leaves a bad taste in my mouth after a year of questionable Marvel offerings with worse yet to come. Personally I believe the age of Marvel Studios is well and truly over and I don’t think they can come back, I think it is over.

0/5

Pros.

There is nothing redeemable about it

Cons.

They seem allergic to using popular characters

The finale is terrible

The casual bestiality

It isn’t entertaining

You feel nothing

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Better Man: A Death Rattle Out Of A Rotting Sub-Genre

Summary

A man is made into a monkey.

So as I have been saying for a while musical biopics as a sub-genre are running out of steam at the box office, there are a few here or there that are making money but by and large the amount being made is less and less. In steps the bright corporate idea of making these biopics more silly and unique by doing things like shooting with Lego or as is the case here having a musical biopic where the singer is being played by a CGI monkey. I hope you can smell the desperation as I can dear discerning reader.

Honestly, there isn’t much to say about the film itself beyond its central conceit which I have already mentioned above, it is the same old same old. If you have ever seen a musical biopic before then you know the story, it is one of two. It is either rise then fall or rise, hardship, continued success, this would fall into the latter category. The two story structures are never deviated from across the entire sub-genre and really can’t be, if you are trying to tell a somewhat accurate biopic, sans the monkey, then you have to stick to reality and reality is either one or two.

If you are a Robbie Williams fan then that will help the experience as you can at least enjoy the music.

Overall, it is watchable if entirely uninspired. The monkey gimmick feels as desperate as it sounds.

2/5

Pros.

It has good songs, I am a fan of Williams music.

It has a good mostly British cast, though they are underused

Cons.

The monkey thing feels desperate

It is been there and done that

It is poorly paced

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Demon Slayer Hashira Training Arc Series Overview: A Waste Of Time

Summary

The new season of Demon Slayer has one goal, to waste your time.

So if you have read my other season reviews for Demon Slayer then you know I often have the same complaint, the pacing and the filler, more often than not each season will have a few good episodes and then lots and lots of filler around it, this is where that shifted.

I wish I could tell you that the change is a good thing but it isn’t, this season was almost entirely filler far more than the other seasons. Basically the whole of the season was just the character’s training, which I know is what the season is called, but there is no build up to a grand show down as there was with the other seasons, no here it basically just builds up to a pretty disappointing death and then the cast are thrown into the pocket dimension with a big to be continued vibe to it.

I like the characters and I like seeing them interact but this was long drawn out nothingness, and the fact that there wasn’t even a satisfying pay off at the end of the all the filler makes it doubly annoying.

Overall, this is just killing time until the films and everyone knows it.

1/5

Pros.

It has a cool ending

Cons.

It is all set up and no pay off

It is all filler

It is boring and badly paced

It hits the same beats over and over again

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Nosferatu: Lily-Rose Depp Is Even Worse Here Than In The Idol

Summary

Robert Eggers is back with his most vapid film yet.

So I am a huge fan of Robert Eggers in my mind he’s 2 for 3, The Lighthouse being the odd one out for me. However, in his forth entry we see him move away from his art house roots and move closer to the mainstream than he ever has before, much to his and the film’s detriment. This film could have felt deeper and as though it had more to say if it had used more of Egger’s art house flourishes, what this film reeks of to me is of a man wanting to make a commercially, as in main stream approved film, as such his usual motifs and themes have to be dumbed down. I wouldn’t be surprised if after The Northman flopped Eggers felt he needed to make a commercially successful film in order to prove he was more than just an art house director.

The film itself is a pretty close version of the Dracula story/ or here Nosferatu, there are some changes to the original German silent film, quite noticeably in the villains appearance. If you have seen either the original German film or other versions of Dracula you know where this is heading. I found the fact that they stuck with the original film’s ending but changed it to rather than just drain her of blood here he did that whilst also having sex with her to be an odd choice, but hey they did it to get the punters in as they felt the need to try and sell this as some sort of erotic horror film. Alas anything to sell tickets.

Finally we move to the biggest issue with the film Lily-Rose Depp. So I have seen her in quite a number of films now Yoga Hosers, Wolf, a forgotten science fiction film, and now this and honestly she gave her best performance in Yoga Hosers. At least there she shows a variety of emotions here she has one face for the entire film, distant and robotic. Her husband who she thought dead isn’t, distant and robotic, she is having relations with a vampire, distant and robotic, she is trying to convey the threat posed, can you guess what I am going to say. Honestly, there are scenes in this film where she is rolling around and having fits, but also maybe possibly orgasming at the same time, its an odd film, and it shouldn’t be but is massively comical. Mainly this is due to Depp’s poor acting, increasingly it seems that she is becoming the actress that will take her kit off and that has a lot of sex on screen but that won’t make up for a lack of talent. Anya Taylor-Joy in this would have done a much better job.

Overall, a massive misstep.

2.5/5

Pros.

Some good cinematography

I liked the old timey dialogue

The rats were a nice touch

Cons.

Depp

It is a familiar story

It wastes time

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Dune Prophecy Season One Overview: Adapting The Wrong Book

Summary

Hollywood really can’t have any franchises without feeling the need to run them into the ground.

So the two recent Dune films were met with both praise and love from audiences, so what did they feel the need to do that’s right give the show a spin-off tv series. Now this could have worked with the right talent, but sadly it adapted one of Brian Herbert’s newest books, and focused on a group in the universe who are only interesting due to the fact that you don’t know much about them, it also lacked any talented creative to shepherd the series.

This feels very much as if the CW was given the Dune license, it doesn’t have the production values of the films by any metrics, and it focuses more on petty soap opera like drama rather than universe wide intrigue and drama. The opening 5 minutes of the first episode are the most entertaining thing about the whole first season, it would have been far more interesting to focus on a different Brian Herbert book and looked at the Butlerian Jihad and humanities war against thinking machines, but they clearly wanted to go with another angle.

The fact that this is a girl boss Dune series is not only why it was made but also why it was made so fast, the wise and perfect and not at all morally corrupt Sister needs to lead the Imperium from the shadows because silly men would lead it to ruin. There is as you can imagine a number of girl boss themes and men taking their tops off so the women can objectify them, remember folks it is okay when one gender does it but not the other that’s the world we live in now.

Overall, it is a girl boss show about a group that is interesting when mysterious, this series removes that mystery and with it any interest in the show.

1/5

Pros.

The opening of the first episode

Cons.

It demystifies the Sisterhood

It is too drama focused and has little action

It feels like a science fiction soap

It is badly paced

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Squid Games Season Two Overview: The Filler Strikes Back

Summary

The games are back.

I really don’t know what to say, this was a massive let down. It reminded me of when you watched an Unexpected Journey for the first time and right when Bilbo and co are getting into the heat of it it’s the end credits. Please wait for the sequel. The reason why the Hobbit films are viewed with much more animus than the original trilogy of films is because they felt like one story divided into three for the sake of greed. This is much the same, rather than give us say a 15 episode second season that provides a satisfying follow up that ends out the series this instead decides to cut out right as the action is getting started. It is infuriating.

What makes this worse is the fact that there is so much filler here, the first two episodes are literally all filler and exposition. By the time the games actually do start up again you are almost midway through this ‘second’ season.

They also shoe horn in a trans storyline that feels very modern day and makes you ask the question why, the answer to that is likely Netflix said we have a diversity quota that needs filling and you don’t have any non-Asians in this so you have to make it up another way.

Overall, I would say don’t bother watching this until it is all out, it is not complete in anyway as is and comes off as massively unsatisfying.

2.5/5

Pros.

The games are interesting

It ends on a high

It has some good moments

Cons.

The filler

The forced in trans storyline

It shouldn’t have been split

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Wallace and Gromit Vengeance Most Fowl: Keep Out Of Yorkshire

Summary

Wallace, voiced by Benjamin Whitehead, and Gromit are back and this time they are dealing with smart technology.

So I like Aardman, and I think the studio is talented but I really think it depends on the project, for example all of the Wallace and Gromit films are good, as is Robin Robin and the first Chicken Run, however things like Early Man, The Netflix Chicken Run, Shaun The Sheep and their segment for the second season of Star Wars Visions are bad. It is a mixed bag.

With this film I would argue it is watchable and has its moments but isn’t as strong as any of the other film films in the series particularly Wererabbit. I just found the inciting incident to be a little bit gimmicky, the smart gnomes felt a bit like taking a franchise that felt like it was set in the past, by design and that added to it, and then forcing in modern tech in a desperate attempt to seem trendy.

Bringing back Feathers McGraw was a good decision and the ending fight atop a train bridge was a lot of fun, as was him escaping to Yorkshire. It was a joke that only certain people may have gotten but it landed for me, I would have liked to have seen more of him throughout the film rather than wasting so much time with the gnomes.

Overall, good but not a patch on Wererabbit

3/5

Pros.

It is watchable

There is still a charm there

The ending

Cons.

It wastes too much time

The smart gnome feels gimmicky

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Night Bitch: Amy Adams Grows A Tail

Summary

A film about a mother, Amy Adams, who can transform into a dog.

So this film isn’t bad, but I do question who it was for? It is not a fantasy film, nor is it a horror film and I certainly wouldn’t call it a comedy, it is an odd sort of a film that will find it hard to find an audience. It is a drama film about a stay at home mother who is so bored and trapped that to escape from her tedium she transforms into a dog at night to be free. It is full of the angst of being a mother that is now present in a lot of films on the topic, as the mother character wallows in their lack of freedom and how their life was better before they had the kid, mixed with relationship drama and sniping.

Scoot McNairy is quicky building himself a reputation as the weedy sort of husband that is a pushover and basically a man child, he is the source of a lot of the conflict in the film as he is not a great father. The final realisation of his character being that he needs to do more and take over more parenting responsibilities is such an obvious one you question why he didn’t already know it at the start of the film as it is basic information any adult should know.

I would argue that Adams natural charisma is the only thing holding this film together and that with a weaker actor it would fall apart.

Overall, this is an odd film and not what a lot of people would want or expect, Adams is strong but the films platitudes on life and motherhood are all a good few years out of date.

2.5/5

Pros.

Adams

It has a few laughs

It is paced reasonably well

Cons.

It has nothing fresh to say about motherhood

It is not the genre it is sold as, this is a drama film and nothing else

The relationship drama is overplayed

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Monster House: The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

Summary

A possessed house is eating people.

So this is a classic of yesteryear often appearing on a lot of most underrated animated films lists. For me growing up this was a regular staple, I watched this film a lot, and watching it now I still think it holds up.

Whilst the animation is quite ugly it never strays too far into the uncanny valley, so unlike something like the Jim Carry Christmas Carol you are never left feeling disconcerted. I would also argue that despite this animation issue the film manages to be quite deep and effecting.

The love story at the heart of the film, I won’t spoil anything, is well done and quite a novel take on that sort of storyline. It helps you to empathise with the house and to feel a lot of emotion at the end of the film. I wouldn’t say it is an emotional gut punch in the way some animated films are, but I would say there is more than enough to get you a little misty eyed.

Overall, an animated classic that you really should check out if you haven’t already.

3.5/5

Pros.

It has a beautiful love story

It is well written

It has engaging characters

The ending is bittersweet

Cons.

The animation is a little rough

The sidekick kid can be annoying

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The Heretic: Soft and Bumbling Until He Locks You In A Cage

Summary

Hugh Grant is a religious fanatic.

I don’t believe this film would be even half what it is without Hugh Grant. His performance is pitch perfect, he goes from silly to downright sinister in seconds and the flip is chilling. Even when he is being evil he is still incredibly charming and has his little mannerisms that make it a bit hammy and over the top in the best way. If you are familiar with Grant’s filmography you’ll know what I mean.

As for the film itself I hesitate to call it a horror film, it really isn’t , despite how it might have been marketed it is a thriller film. In terms of thrillers it is not something that you haven’t seen before, it has a lot of very familiar elements in it, it is just with Grant’s performance you cannot really notice it.

I would argue that this film is Sophie Thatcher’s first real misstep in terms of her early career, as she is totally outshone here by Chloe East who gives the much wider and more likeable performance. Thatcher’s character never really demonstrates a wide range of emotions whereas East has to act a lot of different emotions at once sometimes.

Overall, definitely one to check out for Grant alone, however, don’t go in expecting too much originality.

3/5

Pros.

Grant

East

It is watchable

Cons.

It is not very scary

It has been done before

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