The Crow: The Darkest Of Angels

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A true icon of 90 cinema. 

Every day I think about the fact that they are remaking a film that never needed to be remade. Apologies  for talking about the no doubt awful 2024 remake of The Crow, but after watching a re-release of this film recently I am now convinced but there is no hope for the remake and that it is ultimately disrespectful.

There is something so grimy so comic booky about this film that has just been lost in the modern comic book film landscape. The closest comparison point could be Sin City but those films are over a decade old now. In a sense this film reads more as a comic book come to life than anything else, it bleeds off the page, the rawness of the comic book which inspired this film helps to create the world and the emotion that drives it.

The styling and atmosphere of the film is instantly memorable and was the inspiration for goths and emos everywhere, as truly this character feels like an underdog that people can relate to, with the journey to avenge his late girlfriend truly being a thing of catharsis in the film. You are cheering him on every step of the way and can relate to him in an emotional sense that other more traditional superheroes don’t allow for.

There are a few scenes such as the rooftop guitar scene that come off by a modern sensibility as a little cheesy now, however despite the cheesiness being present it only serves to enhance the film overall and make it if anything more likeable. The film feels like the very best cross between action, horror and comic book films and in that sense there’s something there for everyone.

Perhaps I have a soft spot for the film as it was such an influential film for me growing up and one I watched many times, so perhaps I have a warmness to it that others may not. However, I believe that this is one of the best superhero/comic book films of the 1990s with the only competition being Blade.

Moreover, Brandon Lee manages to make the character both are force of nature in terms of action but also one that has a comedic side and a sentimental side allowing for a character to read as three dimensional.

Overall, this film is a cult classic for a reason and it still holds up now.

4.5/5

Pros.

The action

The world

The relatability

The ending

The aesthetic

Cons.

The cheesier moments won’t be for all tastes

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Fly Me To The Moon: Hallmark In Cinemas

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A retelling of the moon landing.

So this rom-com goes quite the way you would expect it to, a couple, Scarlet Johansson and Channing Tatum, fall in love whilst working at Nasa during the moon landing. It is a sweet film and it does have some good moments of sentimentality, however, I have to say I never really bought the relationship between the two leads, the chemistry wasn’t there as it might have been in something like Anyone But You.

Johansson is surely a forced to be reckoned with here, and has a lot of good moments, yet Tatum is not given anything to elevate him. The material is very hokey and almost Hallmark esque in how earnest his character is, he is a small town, veteran, who cares about his job and about Jesus. Nothing wrong with that but it is quite stereotypical.

There is also a certain level of my old pet peeve, yes you guessed it American exceptionalism. With the film having a steady drum beat of USA USA every few minutes, which is fine is that is what you are into but for me it was a little clawing. Maybe if I was American I’d like that sort of uber patriotism more.

There are some good laughs here particularly the stuff with the cat and Tatum’s overreaction to it. Moreover, Woody Harrelson’s government spook is a great villain and has some terrific moments, particularly him singing Fly Me To The Moon at the end of the film that is his finest hour.

Overall, it does what you would expect it to, nothing more nothing less.

3/5

Pros.

Johannsen

Harrelson

A few laughs

Cons.

The chemistry could have been stronger

The uber patriotism

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The Dying Age Of The Moviestar

Written by Luke Barnes

In this cinema issues article we are talking about the idea of the movie star in the classic sense, and asking have they become extinct.

So when you think of movie stars of the past George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Brad Pitt, Densel Washington and many others you think of worldwide recognition, you think of everyone knowing who they are, you think of them as almost transcending cinema and genre: this is the bar to movie star as we are setting it out here.

These days you have people like the Rock, Henry Cavill, Charlize Theron and Zendaya, but are any of them movie stars, that is the question. In my opinion, no they aren’t and there are 3 key reasons for that.

The first key point to address here is that the idea of celebrity itself has changed over time, the idea of being famous has been watered down somewhat, so in a bygone time if you were famous you were famous for something, being a musician, a sports person, an artist and actor or a presenter amongst other thing. Whereas now you have streamers and influencers you have reality tv stars, there are more famous people now then at any point in history, but are they really famous, and isn’t the fact that people can now become famous for doing nothing reducing the overall quality of what it means to be famous. As such the idea of celebrity becomes devalued and because there are so many it is hard to standout and reach that point of superstardom that some used to be able to achieve.

Secondly, and directly tied to, you have the idea of fragmentation. So as fandoms have become more and more of a thing society has become divided into niche interest groups, things are less mainstream and widely accessible. For example, for those who are super into wrestling, they may know every wrestlers name and backstory, they are in that fandom, as such these wrestlers are celebrities to them, whereas to the wider world these people are unknowns, you may have a passing interest or know the big high profile wrestlers but other than you don’t know any. As such celebrities can just belong to one sub-group or community, they may be huge and all consuming to them but not outside of it, this again raises questions of what a celebrity is and how we define it. In addition, and this is a tale as old as time, if someone doesn’t leave the pigeonhole they are in and take chances it will affect their celebrity, look at someone like a George Clooney he didn’t stick to one genre he moved around and got different audiences to notice him, therefore he improves his celebrity and more people take notice. Compare that to a Zendaya or the Rock, both have really stayed within their niches and fandom spheres, the Rock has tried to dabble with different genres but has mainly stayed within ones that boost his persona as an action hero, which is fine but it doesn’t get him in front of new audiences. Whereas Zendaya has moved from angsty dramas to try and do superheroes and science fiction, to limited success, and in a sense you could argue that she is being more adventurous then the rock, but there are still genres she hasn’t gone to yet which could boost her celebrity. Look at Will Smith, before the slap, he had done drama and prestige, rom-coms, comedies, science fiction, horror, action, superheroes, sports movies, thrillers, animated films, musicals and westerns, the man had range. Whereas today’s stars are too scared to try and branch out.

Then thirdly you have the politicisation of what it means to be a celebrity now. The famous actors of the past would just talk about their movies, they didn’t think they were activists, they didn’t pander to them they just wanted to make good movies. In doing this they had a wide appeal, people on both the left and the right liked Will Smith and the reason for that was that he didn’t divide people with politics, he didn’t comment on hot button issues and go if you disagree with me don’t watch my movies I hate you. Stars today didn’t get that memo and such know every red carpet is a lineup of millionaire narcissistic babies who a lot of the time don’t even understand what they are endorsing or condoning reading out pre-paired statements that they have memorised or reciting buzz words in an effort to seem like an activist and get some social media points. You cannot fully blame them for this as again they have a team of people and publicists and what not that could vet what they are going to say before they say it, but they either don’t or don’t see the career damage of being an activist. Let’s look at two high profile examples of what I am talking about where actors got political and it cost them. The examples in question being that of Rachel Zegler who said how problematic by modern standards Snow White, a remake of which she is starring in, and then Brie Larson who did her famous I don’t care what a white dude thinks about a Wrinkle In Time rant. Both of these examples made sections of the viewing public turn against them, by talking about politics or by criticising a beloved classic to many people they both suffered a huge backlash and became hate figures. Captain Marvel starring Larson would be big, because it was between two Avengers films, but look at her career post that, she has had two cameos, a documentary film, a short film, the biggest flop in the MCU with her Captain Marvel sequel and has been a small role in the new Fast film, her post Endgame career highlight, and has mainly pivoted to Youtube and TV on the flip look at Zegler who post her Snow White comments is facing down a boycott of the film, and again isn’t exactly swamped with new offers, she has a pre-comments animated film on the horizon and the aforementioned Snow White film. Why aren’t they getting bigger roles, well because Hollywood knows they can’t unify the audience only divide it.

Finally, a bonus reason for you why movie stars are dying off is because of stan culture, some actors have stan communities that are incredibly toxic and vicious, these communities are not only not welcoming but in a sense gatekeep the wider public from that actor and therefore stop the social media reach they could have in becoming more internationally famous.

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Sasaki and Peeps Season Overview

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A man and his bird travel between a magical fantasy world and our modern world.

There is a lot to love about the first season of Sasaki and Peeps, it is wholesome has great character dynamics and a massive world that is just calling out to be explored. I think the mix between different anime genres works well, and that there is not jar between high fantasy elements and more action or horror elements set on Earth.

I think the show is accessible and relatable to anyone who has ever had a pet, as the bond between Sasaki and Peeps is strong and very heart warming at times. I would say the show is worth watching for that alone, in times like these you need all the wholesome content you can get.

The one thing I would say is that the show can be at times a little too high concept, there is not enough time given to either the fantasy or modern storyline, and because the show is introducing so much and moving quickly you can become lost at times. Moreover, by trying to do so much it means that certain aspects don’t get their proper due.

Overall, a good first season with a lot of promise but hopefully for season two it will slow down somewhat.

4/5

Pros.

It is funny

It has wholesome moments that are nice

The worldbuilding

A wide cast of likeable characters

Cons

It rushes through things at times

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Flying Witch: Anime Overview

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A new witch moves to town and gets lost frequently along the way.

I discovered this series as I was looking for a replacement after Way Of The Househusband and this fulfilled the same sort of wholesome and at times comedic sensibility. I would argue it is far more wholesome than comedic and more often than not it is just a good show to watch if you are feeling down as the relentless positivity will make you feel better.

I liked most of the characters though I would say the lead herself is quite bland. I think blandness on the whole is an issue for this show as though it is very wholesome and that is nice the problem arises from the fact that there are no real stakes or drama or threat of any kind and that doesn’t lead to the most interesting of stories.

However, something this series does well is its worldbuilding which feel unique and special in a way I have not seen from other animes. There is such a sense of wonder here as the supernatural crosses over with the regular that it is a shame the show didn’t get picked up for more seasons as there is far more exploring to be done in this world, ah well that’s what the manga is for.

Overall, wholesome and inoffensive but lacking enough punch to keep you engaged.

3/5

Pros.

It is wholesome and sweet

The wider cast of characters are quite entertaining

The worldbuilding is well done

Cons.

The lead is bland

There are no real stakes and that makes caring about things hard

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Kung Fu Panda 4: The Battle Against Irrelevance

Written by Luke Barnes

Po, voiced by Jack Black, is back and like every modern movie he needs to pass the torch onto a new dragon warrior.

So for the most part I thought this was fine, it was watchable enough and not particularly offensive in anyway. I think this was probably the worst written of the series and had the weakest plot and also emotional stakes, though I did like the moment Tai Lung, voiced by Ian McShane, gave Po his respect at the end of the film.

The successor narrative is one that Hollywood seems to be obsessed with recently, all of our  beloved heroes need to pass the mantle to keep the franchise going as the creators don’t realise that there is a reason that Batman has stuck around for decades and hasn’t been retired just recast. My point is that rather than recast and move on they should keep Jack Black front and centre as he is who people are coming to see, people don’t want a new Dragon Warrior.

In terms of other narrative elements I thought Awkwafina’s new character was weak as hell, it was obvious she was a baddie who would turn it around and I didn’t buy the relationship between her and Po the film tries to set up. I understand that animation is often seen as for children but that doesn’t mean they can just serve dumb churned out slop. Moreover, the two dads, yes they do that joke a lot, b plot has some laughs but they mostly exist to kill time as the film quickly gets to its end point and then goes wait a minute we need to kill some more time what can we add.

The new villain is easily the worst of the series, for two key reason’s firstly she has no emotional backstory or personality you can engage with again she has a few jokes but that is it. Secondly, rather than have her own fighting style or anything like that they just have her use past villains moves, it is like creatively they are bankrupt so they decided to go instead of creating a new villain let’s just remix all the old ones within a bland new shell.

Also the lack of the Furious Five is a glaring omission.

Overall, a disappointing and unnecessary new entry.

2/5

Pros.

A few funny jokes

It has a good set piece battle on a cliff edge

Cons.

The villain is weak

The new Dragon Warrior is bland

The missing Furious Five

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Godzilla X Kong: I Miss The Time Before CGI

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

They still haven’t learn the lesson of, if you are making a monster-verse film ditch the humans.

So I think that to perfectly encapsulate this film I’ll describe the first 10-15 minutes of it for you, Kong is fighting some creatures and is hurt there is something happening in the hollow earth, there is practically no dialogue at all during this section instead it is just Kong making various noises.

If that sounds appealing to you then probably leave now as this review is from the point of view that found that tedious. I like monster movies where it is just them having a crazy battle and there isn’t much more to it then that, when Godzilla thinks he’s won there is Rodan and it all kicks up a notch. I don’t think we need the monsters to have emotional arcs, I don’t think we need Kong searching for a family. Personally I just want to see Kong smash not be broody but hey that’s me.

Moreover, the humans are dull, you have some bland chosen girl storyline and a mum, Rebecca Hall, whose only two defining characteristics are that she is smart and that she is worried about losing her child, she is nothing more than that and has no further personality. In many senses you could see this was written by men who struggle to write either female characters or meaningful ones at least as Hall is given nothing to work with here. Brian Tyree Henry comes back from King Of The Monsters which could have been good but they just make him the comedic support, which honestly feels a little racist. A prominent POC character who has no personality, again like Hall’s character, outside of oh he’s a podcast nerd, and they make him into a joke to be mocked by all the other characters.

Finally when you get to the moment you were looking forward too, after looking at your phone at least 3 times to see if it was almost over, there is no soul. When Godzilla and Kong team up to fight the Monkey with the whip, again very little development or backstory, and Godzilla in a white camo, even less development and backstory, it just descends into a bland CGI fest that makes you fondly remember the older Japanese Godzilla films and think does CGI actually make third acts better.

Overall, bland and mostly in offensive with one or two good moments.

2/5

Pros.

Mothra gets proper attention

One or two moments where you care

Cons.

It is bland for the most part particularly the third act

The human characters shouldn’t be there

There are a lot of caricatures and not a lot of characters

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The Mandalorian: The Foundling

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Grogu trains and a giant bird attacks.

I don’t know what it was about this episode but something just felt off with it for me. I think after the first two episodes of the new season were so good the third and now this one have just failed to get me to the same level. I think what bothered me about this episode was that it felt like filler, the story didn’t advance much, beyond the one area that I will get to, and the giant bird rescue felt very needless and forced in to pad for time.

However, that said I did really quite enjoy learning Grogu’s back story and getting to see more of what went down when the Jedi temple fell. Jedi Master Kelleran Beq, played by Ahmed Best was a cool addition and I will be interested to see where his and Grogu’s story goes. I hope the show doesn’t just kill him off to give Grogu some more trauma to deal with.

I also thought that once again Katee Sackoff’s Bo-Katan was a scene stealer. The final scene at the end of the episode where she is talking about the mythical Mandalorian beast was super interesting and it will be fascinating to see if she tries to capture it later in the season.

Overall, a good episode if somewhat lacking.

4/5

Pros.

Bo-Katan

Grogu’s development

The teases for the future

Learning more about Mandalorian culture

Cons.

It feels like it is missing something

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People Places Things: Fantasy And Reality Crashing Together To Create Life

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film is entirely carried by the likeable offbeat charm of Jemaine Clement. I have been a fan of Clement’s for a long time now, probably dating back to my younger years watching Flight Of The Concords, and one thing has stayed consistently the same since then and that is the likeability of this man; he can do no wrong.

That is very true here, as Clement is front and centre and has to do a lot of the heavy lifting of this film. The plot is focused on the idea of Clement’s character having to deal with and move on from his ex: highlighting the messy road he faces, with pit falls aplenty. I think this translates very well, and I thought it was the right move to not have Clement’s character be in another relationship by the end of the film; the man finally has it all together.

In terms of humour I didn’t find this film funny particularly, more charming perhaps. I was not laughing but I was smiling throughout. There are a number of scenes that are incredibly cringey to get through, I assume this is a purposeful decision on the part of the film to highlight the issues in the characters life, but they were so painful to watch I almost had to turn away.

Overall, if Clement had not been involved this film would not have been even half as good.

Pros.

Clement

The ending

The character growth

Cons.

It is not funny

A few of the scenes are quite cringe    

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