Boar: Bloody Bacon

Boar is an Australian horror film directed by Chris Sun. The film follows a young family that goes on a trip into the Australian wilderness whilst there they are hunted down and terrorized by a giant wild boar with a taste for human flesh. The film features Australian legend John Jarrett, as one of the men who investigate the fence post destruction and discover the boar.

This is classified as a horror film, but it isn’t, it can’t be. This is a film where you have a man singing and dancing along to Vanilla Ice, and a film where the villain is a giant boar; that alone puts it in comedy horror territory. This film reminded me in a lot of ways of the New Zealand film Black Sheep, both tonally and because of their animal villains.

I enjoyed this film, it was a lot of dumb fun, the boar itself was ridiculously over the top and its kills were gory to the extreme. This film gets the gore just right it is not grotesque, but it does love to show off its bloody spectacle. The special effects on the boar itself are good, you do get a good look at it a number of times and it doesn’t look fake even when it has people hanging out of its mouth.

My one complaint about this film is that it wastes John Jarrett, his character gets killed off fairly early into the film and I kept saying to myself surely that wasn’t his end he must be coming back, but he never does, I understand that in a film like this the characters aren’t important and it is all about the monster, but it still felt like a missed opportunity.

Overall, this film manages to balance comedy and horror well, it makes you laugh when it is trying to be funny and it makes you wince and recoil when it is trying to be scary, a very entertaining film.

Pros.

The boar looks good.

The gore is impressive.

It is funny.

It is good dumb fun.

Cons.

The human characters are underdeveloped and wasted.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Devils Candy: Metal Vs Satan

The Devil’s Candy is a horror film directed by Sean Byrne. The plot follows a family that moves into a new house, once there the father of the family Jessie (Ethan Embry), starts hearing strange songs that lead him to black out and paint hellish pictures. As well as this the former resident of the house Ray (Pruitt Taylor Vince), has become possessed by the spirit of the song and has been sacrificing kids to a demonic entity and now has his sights set on the daughter of the family Zooey (Kiara Glasco), that has just moved into his former home.

This film has so much personality, there really isn’t much else like it. A metal themed horror film, that has periodical interludes which cut to a TV exploring the history of Satan. The metal theme really appealed me to, and I thought it made the film feel very original and fresh.

The film had a great off kilter approach to horror, it always did the unexpected it was never predictable. This film was genuinely scary, the paintings that the father did were scary, the overall atmosphere of the film was tense and oppressive, and the threat posed to the children felt frighteningly real.

This film stayed with me long after I watched it, it left me genuinely unsettled.

My one issue with this film was that it was not fun to watch, it was very grim and unpleasant throughout, however that is what a horror film is supposed to be right? Are horror films even supposed to be enjoyable, surely to be scared is not an enjoyable experience. Whatever your answer to that, I think this film will strike a very specific chord with people and will scare even the most die hard, hardened horror fans.

Overall, I think this film is a triumph as far as metal cinema goes and it is a triumph for horror as well, however it is not an enjoyable film to watch.

Pros.

Deeply unique.

Metal themed.

Genuinely scary.

An off-kilter approach to horror.

Cons.

It isn’t very enjoyable.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

47 Meters Down Uncaged: A Shark Attack Film Where You Want The Shark To Win!

47 Meters Down Uncaged is a survival horror film directed by Johannes Roberts. It is a sequel to the passably alright film 47 Meters Down, a film that didn’t need a sequel. The plot this time around focuses on a group of girls who go diving in a newly discovered cave, only to become trapped and at the mercy of a shark.

I have to say it is hard to screw up a shark movie this badly, I applaud the makers of this film for being this inept this utterly devoid of knowing what people want. This film is laughably bad.

First off, this is an incredibly PG affair, there is very little gore even when the sharks are ripping people apart it is all very bloodless, which to me feels like an effort to try and get this film out to the younger teen audience, but in doing so it spits in the face of what modern shark movies are and that is gritty bloodfests.

Secondly, unlike the characters in the first film who were serviceable, the characters here are your usual collection of teenage girl stereotypes and clichés. They are supposed to be experienced divers for the most part, or at least people who have a basic understanding of how diving works. Yet despite this they spend all their time underwater screaming near constantly, which uses up all their oxygen, someone who has been diving once could tell you that.

What’s more the characters in this film are annoying, they spend all their on-screen time either screaming and crying or doing dumb things that will only make their situation worse, but they don’t seem to care, maybe they want to be eaten alive?

The shark itself doesn’t show up until a third into the film which wouldn’t be that bad if the film without the shark was at all in any way interesting, but sadly this first third is a slog and one that is very hard to get through, when the shark does finally appear it leaves you saying finally an end to this tedious boredom.

Overall, Sylvester Stallone’s daughter made her acting debut in this and if this in any indication for things to come, her career is going to be short and very hard to watch. A train-wreck of a movie from start to finish.

Pros.

There are one or two interesting scenes.

Cons.

The characters are dumb and annoying.

The film manages to ruin sharks.

The acting is incredibly weak.

It has no regard for logic or survival skills, even though it is a survival film.

1/5.

Reviewed by Luke

The Marshes: There Is Something Rotten In The Australian Bush

The Marshes is an Australian horror film directed by Roger Scott. The plot follows 3 young biologists as they venture into the Australian marshland to conduct research. Once they get there, they encounter evil and they must fight for their survival, against ever increasing odds.

This was one of the worst horror films I have seen recently, it fails in so many ways that I could barely bring myself to finish it.

Firstly, the characters are awful, they are devoid of anything even resembling a personality, they are irritating and worst of all they care completely unlikable. The most agreeable character of the main 3 is Will (Sam Delich), he is just bland. Then you have Ben (Matthew Cooper), who is just a dick from start to finish he is deeply unlikable, and the film almost goes out of its way to show you just how irritating his character is. Finally, you have Pria (Dafna Kronental), you is by far the worst, she is annoying and deeply unlikable just like Ben, but what makes her worse is that she just does things randomly with no rhyme or reason, I don’t know if it is just poorly written, but her character can go from having a laugh taking about something one minute to screaming the next second and it is as jarring as that sounds.

Secondly, the film makes no sense at all in any way and if you try and figure it out it hurts your head with its stupidity and poor logic. We have scenes that go from nothing to something important in a second and when you are like okay so is this something guess what it is just a dream, this happens over and over again until it gets to a point where it is hard to tell what is and what isn’t a dream. It’s a baffling story decision and one that makes the film incredibly hard to watch.

Finally, and perhaps worst of all, this film suffers from some of the worst lighting I have ever seen in a film. There are sequences of this film where it is too dark to understand what is happening, these are important bits of the film too, at first I just thought there was something wrong with my TV so I adjusted the setting, but no, no matter what setting I put it on it was still incredibly difficult to tell what was going on.

Overall, this is just a bad film and one that isn’t worth your time.

Pros.

None.

Cons.

It is too long, even though it is only on for 1 hour and a half.

The characters are detestable.

The lighting is egregious.

It makes no sense.

Is it a dream or just a waste of my time?

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Monster Party: Addicting

Monster Party is a horror thriller film directed by Chris Von Hoffmann. The plot revolves around a group of thieves that are looking for their next big payday, they decide to rob a house that one of their number works at thinking that the home owners will be easy marks; little do they know that the family that live there are recovering murders.

This is one of the best dark comedies I’ve seen in a long time, the premise itself is hilarious recovering murders trying to deny the urge to kill and failing miserably. The film boils down to a showdown between Casper (Sam Strike), Alexis (Erin Moriarty) and Iris (Virginia Gardner) and Elliot (Kian Lawley), with bloody results.

This is a film that is not afraid to get gory, it does so often and to great effect, the patriarch of the family gets disembowelled and you see his guts hangout of him, like wise Elliot spends some of the film with a recently cut off hand; it is not for the faint of heart.

This film seems to revel in violence and spectacle, as that the main selling point of this film, the characters are thin and underdeveloped, but they do a lot of cool things. I would be very interested to see more of the cult/ program that is working in the shadows to rehabilitate killers and of course more of Lance Reddick.

Reddick is great in anything he turns up in, but he plays the cult master to a tee here and is as per usual fantastic, it is a shame he doesn’t stick around for more of the film, but at well at least he had a few great scenes.

I thought the ending was a little odd, I get that Casper had now become a killer and isn’t the shy wall flower he used to be, but to see him just go into a strip club and start slicing and dicing makes me question whether we are still suppose to root for him at this point. I also would have liked Alexis and Casper to have ended up together as this was teased a good few time throughout the film, but maybe if they do a sequel they will, who knows.

Overall, a good time, nice and easy to watch with a few good laughs and scares peppered in there.

Pros.

It’s funny.

It’s scary.

It has an intriguing premise.

I liked the cast for the most part.

Cons.

The characters were thin and underdeveloped.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Collector: Schlocky Horror Through and Through.

The Collector is a horror film directed by Marcus Dunstan. The plot follows Arkin (Josh Stewart), a thief whose luck runs out when he decided to rob a rich person’s house. As Arkin moves around the house, he realises something is amiss, he can hear screams and there are traps everywhere, his evening with evil serial killer The Collector (Juan Fernandes), is beginning.

The script for this film was originally intended to be a prequel to Saw called The Midnight Man, but that was quickly shot down and this film was born. This film does not feel like it came out in 2009 it feels like an early 2000’s film in both the best way and also the worst way.

The film is highly stylised, everything from the way the film is shot to the opening credits sequences is dripping with personality. That personality is over the top gritty goriness, the film look grainy it looks as thought it was shot on film even though it wasn’t, I would guess that this is a deliberate choice to make the film look more visceral and real. Personally, I loved it.

I also loved the gore of this film; it wasn’t wince inducing it was just right. It was a similar level of gore to that of the Saw films. The traps were ridiculous and over the top, but also whimsically inventive. Furthermore, I enjoyed the fact that who or what The Collector is never explained, much like the Creeper from Jeepers Creepers The Collectors origin is unknown and that adds to the mystery.

The one thing that I thought was bit much was there was a long drawn out sequence of the family’s daughter Jill (Madeline Zima), getting it on with her boyfriend, it felt creepy and way too long. The Collector himself was watching them as well, it was icky. I think the whole sequence could have been done in a tasteful way, but clearly that wasn’t the filmmaker’s intent, clearly, they wanted to show the audience a soft-core porn scene.

Overall, if you like early 2000’s gritty Saw esque films then you will like this, the traps and The Collector himself are interesting and the ending is intriguing.

Pros.

Not explaining the villain.

The traps.

The horror.

The gore.

Cons.

The needlessly long sex scene.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Don’t Leave Home: An Obtuse, Confusing Masterpiece?

Don’t Leave Home is an Irish horror film directed by Michael Tully. The plot sees American model maker Melanie Thomas (Anne Margret Hollyman), travel to a remote part of island to take a commission from a disgraced priest Alistair Burke (Lalor Roddy).

This film has been called a lot of things “Ireland’s equivalent to Get Out”, “A modern Wicker Man” and thought to some extent I can see what people are saying with the second quotation, that is not how I would describe it. I honestly don’t know how I feel about this film, I enjoyed it and it kept my attention and there truly isn’t anything else out there like it, it is also incredibly obtuse and confusing and I would never choose to watch it again.

During the rest of this review I am going to go into spoilers, so if you haven’t seen it stop here as I really think if you’re going to watch it you should go in blind.

That said let’s get into it, this film reminded me in a lot of ways of something like Midsommar, in that it even after watching it, it still doesn’t really make sense until you watch it a few more times. There is an art house approach to horror that seems to be at the core of these sort of films that can come across as pretentious at times, but personally I think this film was one the right side of the line.

The premise of this woman traveling to Ireland to make a model for this former priest isn’t in and of itself scary, the fear comes from how quickly the situation sours once she gets there, there is an intense uncomfortability that runs throughout this film; you know it is going to end badly and then it does.

I still don’t understand how the priest’s paintings makes people disappear, or go to heaven as the film says, frankly I think the twist doesn’t really make any sense it just kind of happens midway through and you are left to pick up the pieces and make some sense of it. I think the whole sequence with “the collectors”, and the auction was weird and didn’t feel like it belonged to the same film as everything else, it was jarring.

Overall, I can’t really end this by saying watch it, or don’t watch it, as I still haven’t really made my mind up about it. It is definitely not something you have ever seen before and it is staggeringly original, if a little inspired by modern art house horror hits, I would say if that description appeals to you then check it out.

Pros.

Original.

Scary and troubling.

Good characters.

Cons.

Obtuse and hard to understand.

It ends with a whimper rather than a bang.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Raid 2: This Time It’s Personal

The Raid 2 is an Indonesian action martial arts film directed by Gareth Evans. The plot takes place not long after the events of the first film, Rama (Iko Uwais), has to go undercover within the Jakarta underworld to try and protect his family. His brother is also killed at the start of the film, so Rama is on a side mission of vengeance; seeking out evil rising mobster Bejo (Alex Abbad).

The Raid 2 had a hard job to do, it had to live up to the scale and intensity of the first film, while also raising the stakes and taking everything to the next level. I have to say the film does both of those things. It shows us the wider underworld that was only slightly hinted at during the first film and we get to see some interesting new characters and players. Also, the fight scenes are on a whole new level as well, the prison fight sequence is brutal and relentless.

However, while it is doing all of these things it sacrifices the personal threat and tension from the first film. For those of you who haven’t seen it the first Raid film is all set within a tower block and there are a lot of fight sequences that take place within very tight areas, this makes the film feel very claustrophobic which adds to its overall greatness. The second film really leaves this element behind.

This film introduces some new character who I found to be cool. I don’t remember their names, but I refer to them as Baseball guy and Hammer Woman, they were both very gimmicky in their fight style, but I did really like the final showdown between them and Rama at the end, I thought it was on a par with the first film’s fight sequences.

Finally, I loved the ambiguous ending this film has, it ends with Rama stood in front of a wave of Japanese gangster foot soldiers with him saying he is done. Does he die will he survive we don’t know and with no plans to do a third film any time soon we might never know, but it is a neat way to end things.

Overall, a very solid follow up that does a number of impressive things that raise the stakes and surpass the first film. My only issue is that by doing that it loses some of the things that made the first film great. Both are definitely worth checking out.

Pros.

Larger scale.

Rama’s ending.

The new characters.

The fight sequence between Rama and Baseball Guy and Hammer Woman.

Cons.

It loses some of the tense claustrophobia of the first film.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Bay: Don’t Go In The Water

The Bay is a found footage film directed by Barry Levinson. The plot revolves around a small town that has something in the water, parasites. These parasites invade the body and then eat you away from the inside out, soon most of the town is dead and it is up to one blogger to try and get out the truth of what happened as the US government has since suppressed it.

This film genuinely surprised me, when I put it on, I had low expectations, but as the film went on, I found that I enjoyed it more and more. The premise is great and scary, what makes it scary is the fact that it could happen, we as a world have environmental disasters all the time, so something like this is not beyond the realms of possibility.

Furthermore, there were several moments in the film that actually made me jump, which is rare. As such the horror of the film really worked for me, and I found it to be one of the scariest films I have seen recently.

My one issue with the film was that the story was told through vignette style, as such there were multiple different characters and each of their stories were explored, the issue with this is that some of the stories are more interesting than others. I cared about the French scientists/ divers; I didn’t really care about the young teen couple.

I thought this film was fascinating, I couldn’t take my eyes off it as I watched it. Found footage as a genre has been done to death, but this film managed to find new ground to explore, making it almost like a faux environmental documentary, I applaud the imagination and creativity behind it.

Overall, this film is great for the premise alone, but it was made even better by the fact that the execution was also fantastic. It was scary, fascinating and I could have easily watched another hour of it, perhaps one of the best of the best-found footage films I have ever seen.

Pros.

It is fascinating.

It is scary.

It does something new with found footage.

It made me jump!

Cons.

Some of the characters are more interesting than others.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Aeronauts: Life In The Outer-Atmosphere

Aeronauts is a biographical adventure film directed by Tom Harper. The plot follows a pilot Amelia (Felicity Jones), and a scientist, James Glaisher (Eddie Redmayne), who try and go higher in the air than anyone has ever done before, in doing this they hope to prove that the Earth’s atmosphere and layers and that the weather can be predicted.

Even thought this film isn’t a horror film it scared me more than a lot of horror films I have seen recently. The reason for this is because I have a huge fear of heights and every time, they were hanging off the balloon, with just a bit of rope stopping them from falling to their deaths, it gave me sweaty palms and a keen sense of anxiety.

Both of the leads do a good job, Jones is the better of the two, her sub-plot about her husband who died is well done and all of the flashbacks feel relevant. Redmayne is serviceable and doesn’t really do much to impress, the only scene that made me feel something is when he talks to his father who has dementia; it is sweet and well done.

This film actively made me scared to got in a hot air balloon, as it seems like dangerous business, so if it was going for a thriller angel it did that well. I think it had a palpable sense of dread throughout, and I was on the edge of my seat the whole time; I actively wanted both characters to survive until they made it back and that is a testament to the film.

Overall, I think this film is a great one-time watch, it is thrilling and more than a little bit informative, there are sense that will have you sweaty and wincing; especially if like me you have a fear of heights. However, it is not something that I would watch again as it doesn’t have any re-watchability.

Pros.

The thrills.

The sub-plot about Amelia’s dead husband.

The scene between James and his dad.

Cons.

It is forgettable.

None of the performances blow you away.

3/5.

Reviewed by Luke