Boar: Bloody Bacon

Boar is an Australian horror film directed by Chris Sun. The film follows a young family that goes on a trip into the Australian wilderness whilst there they are hunted down and terrorized by a giant wild boar with a taste for human flesh. The film features Australian legend John Jarrett, as one of the men who investigate the fence post destruction and discover the boar.

This is classified as a horror film, but it isn’t, it can’t be. This is a film where you have a man singing and dancing along to Vanilla Ice, and a film where the villain is a giant boar; that alone puts it in comedy horror territory. This film reminded me in a lot of ways of the New Zealand film Black Sheep, both tonally and because of their animal villains.

I enjoyed this film, it was a lot of dumb fun, the boar itself was ridiculously over the top and its kills were gory to the extreme. This film gets the gore just right it is not grotesque, but it does love to show off its bloody spectacle. The special effects on the boar itself are good, you do get a good look at it a number of times and it doesn’t look fake even when it has people hanging out of its mouth.

My one complaint about this film is that it wastes John Jarrett, his character gets killed off fairly early into the film and I kept saying to myself surely that wasn’t his end he must be coming back, but he never does, I understand that in a film like this the characters aren’t important and it is all about the monster, but it still felt like a missed opportunity.

Overall, this film manages to balance comedy and horror well, it makes you laugh when it is trying to be funny and it makes you wince and recoil when it is trying to be scary, a very entertaining film.

Pros.

The boar looks good.

The gore is impressive.

It is funny.

It is good dumb fun.

Cons.

The human characters are underdeveloped and wasted.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Kong Skull Island: The King Above All

Kong: Skull Island is a monster movie directed by Jordan Vogt-Roberts; it is a reboot of the King Kong franchise.  The plot follows a group of scientist and soldiers as they travel to the uncharted Skull Island and find creatures beyond imagination, including the legendary Ape King Kong, who is the last of his species.

Though it may not be the most popular opinion, I believe of all the Monsterverse films thus far this is by far the best. My absolute favourite thing about this film is its soundtrack, it is absolute 70’s perfection, Jefferson Airplane, Credence Clear Water Revival and Black Sabbath all grace the soundtrack of this film and it is magnificent.

The style of this film is further compliment to the soundtrack, this is a very stylised film, this is clear in multiple ways and I believe unlike something like the Babysitter that is overly stylised, this is just the right amount as such it gives the film a fantastic sense of identity and uniqueness.

Crucially what this film does that makes it better than the Godzilla side of the Monsterverse, is it maintains the balance between human action and monster action; neither one takes focus from the other. The human characters are on screen enough to be developed, but they aren’t focused on to the point where we don’t get to spent time with Kong. We get plenty of time with the great ape himself, his origin is slightly different from what we have seen in the past, but it is still well done.

My two favourite human characters in any of the Monsterverse films are in this film. Firstly, we have Brie Larson’s character of Mason, who is an anti-Vietnam war photographer, she is a very interesting character and I like how they almost give her the human, monster relationship with Kong that we have seen in previous films, but then subvert it at the last minute. The other character I really like is Hank (played by John C. Riley), he is a pilot that has been stuck on Skull Island since World War 2, so for 28 years. Riley in this is fantastic, perhaps the best I have ever seen him, he has great comedic moments, but he also has great emotional dramatic scenes. The scene at the end of the film when he returns home after he has been away for so long is tear inducing, it is almost impossible to not cry when this scene comes on.

Overall, this film manages to achieve something that few other monster movies do, it strikes a harmony between the human and non-human characters, making all of its character interesting. The style and the soundtrack of this film also helps it to be exceptional, I hope that Godzilla Vs. Kong can be as good as this!

Pros.

The soundtrack.

The style.

How it handles Kong.

How it handles its human characters.

Cons.

The strange skull creatures.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Godzilla, King Of The Monsters: A Weak And Ineffective King!

Godzilla: King Of The Monsters is a monster movie directed by Michael Dougherty. The film belongs to Legendry’s Monsterverse and follows on from the 2014 Godzilla film. The plot of the film revolves around humanities discovery of ‘the Titans’ and then their efforts to wake them up. Once they have been woken up, surprisingly they wreak havoc and then it is up to Godzilla to get them all in line.

I have been putting off this review for a long time, this is a film that a lot of people have strong feelings about, some love it, some don’t. The film didn’t do very well when it came out, which has affected the Monsterverse as a whole, but it has a dedicated cult following. For me, personally I liked Kong Skull Island, but both the Godzilla films have left me cold. Here is why.

My issue with the first film was that it didn’t have enough Godzilla in it, so when it looked as though the sequel was going to have more monsters fighting and less of the horrible human characters, I was excited, and yes there is far more monsters fighting, but now maybe it is too much. There is only so many times you can see a huge CGI creature hit another giant behemoth.

The human characters are dumb and bland, there is some strange eco-terrorism sub plot that is going on, that never really gets explained and their goals make no sense either. The twist that Vera Farmiga character has been working for them all along, isn’t hugely surprising, but you don’t care because she is boring and underdeveloped. Millie Bobbie Brown is only in this film because of Stranger Things she is probably the best of the human characters, but that’s not hard, a piece of wood could be better than all the human characters in this film.

The writing in this film is dumb, so, so dumb, unapologetically so, but that is half the fun. There is one bit in the film where they drop an oxygen bomb on Godzilla, which… how does that even work? If you’re one of those people that like things like The Fast and The Furious, were nothing makes sense and it is just pure spectacle then you might like this film.

Don’t even get me started on Kyle Chandler, who much like Annabelle Wallis can’t act. Seeing Chandler’s name on a casting sheet is a huge red flag for me, as he has never been good in anything.

Overall, this film is a disappointment as it managed to screw up both the human characters and the monsters, while also lacking the heart that made Skull Island so good.

Pros.

Millie Bobbie Brown is okay.

The first half an hour is entertaining.

Cons.

After that it becomes repetitive.

The human characters are terrible.

The plot is ridiculous.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke    

The Mummy: One Of The Worst Films Ever Made!

The Mummy is an action adventure film, directed by the talentless hack Alex Kurtzman. The plot of this film revolved around Nick Morton (Tom Cruise), a solider who whilst on a mission in Egypt accidentally unleashes an ancient evil into the world. This was originally supposed to be the film that kick-started Universal’s Dark Universe, instead it was the film that ended up killing it.

First off, the abandoning of the horror roots of The Mummy series is a crime, but then replacing them with samey over the top generic action sequences is a crime against humanity. Whoever came up with the idea to turn The Mummy into an entirely action driven film deserves to be fired and never allowed to work in Hollywood again. Yes, I know the Brenden Frasier films exist, and yes, they were action focused as well, but there was also some horror in those films, there were many scenes that genuinely scared me the first time I saw them.

What makes this worse is the fact that they cast Tom Cruise in the lead role, he is horribly miscast and also brings no charm whatsoever to the film, he just plays a generic action hero type. The end of film sees him possessed by some kind of demonic force, yet he is still a good guy and the film still wants us to root for him. The film wants you to root for the devil, where was the moral outcry about that?

The supporting cast are all terrible, but for different reasons include some that aren’t their fault. Sofia Boutella as The Mummy does bring a great physicality to the role and she as a character is intriguing, however to the film’s bad luck, Suicide Squad was fresh in people’s minds as Boutella’s Mummy seemed all too familiar to the villain of that film. Also, the over reliance on CGI really shows with her character and the film could have been improved with more practical effects. Annabelle Wallis as the love interest (because that is all her character is), has absolutely nothing to do except be saved by Tom Cruise. It has to be said as well though that Wallis can’t act, she just can’t, wooden would be too nice of a word to describe her acting ability, her involvement in any film should be a huge red flag. Finally, we have Jake Johnson as the comedic sidekick character, who I actually liked, I thought he was funny, and I enjoyed what they did with his character. However, because this film was so poorly made his comedy stuck out like a sore thumb and didn’t mesh well with the overall tone of the film.

Overall, Jake Johnson is the best thing about this film, his character might be on screen for all of 20 minutes but hell you will miss him when he isn’t there. Tom Cruise is terrible, just terrible. This film deserves to rot in hell.

Pros.

Jake Johnson.

Cons.

Alex Kurtzman is a hack.

They ruined a great franchise.

Tom Cruise.

This film hates itself and the audience.

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Yoga Hosers: The Great White North

Yoga Hosers is a horror comedy film directed by Kevin Smith. The film serves as the second instalment in Smith’s True North trilogy after Tusk. The story this time around sees the Colleens (Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp) return, to fight Nazi clones that take the form of Bratwurst people and once again save their hometown. If that premise sounds out there and weird to you, it should. Yoga Hosers is aware that it is an hour and half exercise in nonsense and silliness and is proud of it, it revels in it.

*Before I watched this film, I had heard people say nothing but, bad things about it and I have to say I disagree I quite liked the film. For me the Colleens are likable and funny protagonists, Harley Quinn Smith once again proves that she has a lot of upcoming actor potential. I think the film has strong horror and comedy elements, it leans more towards comedy most of the time though and is at times both scary and funny.

The humour for me worked about 75% of the time, which is less than what I would give Jay And Silent Bob Reboot, but that film was great. That said the humour in this film had me chuckling quite often and had me laughing out loud once or twice. Don’t get me wrong there are some jokes that drop like lead weights, but for the most part the comedy works.

The hidden Nazi’s element on the plot was genuinely scary at times, however this was deeply undercut by having them be bratwurst people, which for me was just a little bit too ridiculous and I didn’t find them scary. There was some quite good gore across the film that might make you happy if that is your kind of thing, personally I love a good bit of gore in a horror film.

A final point to note is that Johnny Depp is in this film as Guy LaPointe a detective who helps the girls out. Depp for me was easily the best character in this film and the one I liked the most, he was charming and likeable and very easy to warm to. I like when Depp plays over the top eccentric characters.

Overall, I think this film has been judged a bit too harshly, yes, the bratwurst people are ridiculous and yes, the jokes don’t always land, but on the whole this is still an above average horror comedy film and one that does have things to enjoy for the right audience.

Pros.

The Colleens.

Johnny Depp.

Wonderfully Silly.

Cons.

The Bratwurst people.

The humour for me is hit or miss.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke