Swallow: Prepare To Wince

Swallow is a horror thriller film directed by Carlo Mirabella-Davis. The plot sees often pushed to the side wife Hunter (Haley Bennet), start to eat inedible objects as a coping mechanism for her failing marriage and her fears about giving birth to a child. The horror comes from the very real situational drama/ tension and Hunter’s descent into mental illness.

This film will make you wince, watching a pregnant woman eating a nail is an uncomfortable sight and it only gets worse from there. I think calling this film a horror film might be a misclassification, which might be reductive to the film overall. I certainly understand how people could view it as a horror film, but it fits far better as a drama thriller.

This film has a very similar vibe to The Invisible Man from earlier this year, it deals with very similar themes. Hunters relationship with her husband starts off bad and ends up hellish. The real ‘horror’ of the film as I said would be the way Hunter’s husband and his family treat her; cycles of abuse and escape are both key themes to this film.

I think though this film certainly is original, I have never seen anything like it before, there isn’t enough plot to really justify the runtime. I often pick apart films because of pacing issues and I do this because I think an overly long film is terrible and turns me off. All the best films are tight, every second counts, you can’t look away, however that is not something I can say for this film. This film could have done with a tighter edit, it had some pacing issues, but they weren’t terrible.

Overall, it is a deeply unique quirky film, that I think is wrongly classified as a horror, though there certainly are many horrifying parts of it this is far more of a drama; if slow burn is your thing, I would say it is a must watch.

Pros.

Haley Bennet is good.

The themes.

The uniqueness.

It makes you wince.

Cons.

It could have been tighter, and some bits made me lose interest a bit.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Terrifier: Pennywise Who?

Terrifier is a slasher horror film directed by Damien Leone. The film sees the return of Art The Clown (David Howard Thornton), who previously appeared in All Hallows Eve and was the breakout star of that film. Once again, we see Art go on a rampage, hacking up men, women and doors to satiate his supernatural bloodlust. This time targeting sisters Tara and Victoria (Jenna Kanell and Victoria Heyes).

This film is what All Hallows Eve 2 should have been! Just as you would imagine it to be, it is loud, gory and aggressive; which is just what it needed to be. The level of violence and the over the top nature of it won’t be to everyone’s taste, but if you can get past it you will find a great film. Personally I found the bombastic violence almost comedic in the best way, it horrified me, but also it made me laugh.

Other than Art The Clown, who still remains pretty mysterious, none of the characters are really developed, or explored, but again in this kind of film I wouldn’t expect them to be. This isn’t a deep character piece; this is a film about an evil clown with a bag full of tools cutting people up.

Art once again steals the show and single handily manages to make killer clowns cool again; breathing life into the genre. Despite being silent for the whole of the film, Art still feels like he says so much and we as an audience feel like we know him; even if the bit when he briefly pretends to be a woman does feel a bit bizarre and throw away. He is also of course super creepy and manic; he will haunt your dreams for nights after you have watched this!

Overall, this won’t be a film to everyone’s taste but if you do give it a go, you’re in for a good time.

Pros.

The manic craziness.

Art The Clown.

It makes killer clowns cool again.

The over the top gore.

Cons.

Some of it does feel a little too bizarre and could do with being developed more.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

All Hallows Eve 2: Send In The Clowns

All Hallows Eve 2 is a horror anthology film directed by multiple people. The plot once again focus on a babysitter, this time played by Andrea Monier, who finds a VHS tape on Halloween. Once played the tape reveals several different tales of terror that the woman watches; while outside she is being stalked by a man in a pumpkin mask.

This film does not have a patch on the original. Nowhere near. Like many anthology films it is hit and miss, some of the segments such as the final one are good, even interesting, but some of them are awful. There is one about a kid that is scared of the monster under his bed and guess what the monster turn out to be real, it is dull, and it almost sent me to sleep. So as you can see it is a mixed bag.

A pro I will say about the film, is it kept consistent. By that I mean some horror anthologies will have one segment by light and jokey, another dark and brooding and then another comical one, the issue for me with that approach is that it feels jarring, it doesn’t feel connected and natural which a good horror anthology like Trick ‘R Treat understands is very important. This film for the most part kept a consistent tone, so I will applaud them for that.

The real issue with this film, the reason why it is such a lacklustre follow-up is because it is missing something? What? Why the clown of course. Art the Clown was the highlight and breakout star of the first film and his absents here is felt; it breaks the film. Not a single one of the new monsters or villains can hope to fill Art’s comically oversized blood-stained shoes.

Overall, it is passably okay, it varies in quality, but none of it is standout. Art the Clowns absents meant this film never really had a chance. Very unsurprisingly the film is lame.

Pros.

It is passable horror watching.

Some of the segments are cool.

Cons.

It is a mixed bag.

They really need Art The Clown back if they’re going to make another one of these.

A lot of the segments are dull and uninspired.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Skinwalkers: Hollow To The Core

Skinwalkers (Skinwalker Ranch outside of the UK), is a found footage horror movie directed by Devin McGinn. The plot sees a team of scientist and researchers go to a ranch in Utah to investigate reports of strange goings on and the disappearance of a young boy.

This is your bog standard found footage film, right now before reading this review, before even watching the film, you can tell me beat for beat what is going to happen and you will be mostly right. It is painfully average in a lot of ways.

I have written a bit about my issues with the found footage genre, my fatigue with it and this film encapsulates everything I am talking about. It is just so damn formulaic it is in no way scary or shocking. It is supposed to be about Aliens, so it does have so cool extraterritorial stuff in it, but mostly it is the same things that you have seen a million times before. The moment when a creepy little girl showed up and then her face distorted and her eyes turned black was the moment I gave up; there is nothing new here, nothing of substance.

The characters are generic, as you would expect them to be in something like this, they try and set up a wider world, but you just don’t care.

The only real pro I can give this film is that it is on for an hour and 17 minutes, so it is mercifully short. Overall, it is not aggressively bad by any means there are plenty of worse films out there, but it is painfully average and mind numbingly dull. Avoid unless you’re desperate.

Pros.

It is not terrible.

It is only on for an hour and 17 minutes.

Cons.

There is nothing to like about it.

Clearly it has been made with no real effort or consideration.

It is a waste of your time.

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Bigfoot, The Lost Coast Tapes: The Adventures Of Discount Tom Cruise

The Lost Coast Tapes is a Bigfoot centric found footage film directed by Corey Grant. The plot follows a group of people who go out into the wilderness to meet with a man who says he can prove the existence of Bigfoot. Once the group get their things start to go wrong, and the threat is all too real!

When I first put this on, I was expecting the worst, I was expecting a cheap, low rent, bargain basket esque film. However, I am pleased to say I actually enjoyed it a far bit and would recommend it. I love the focus on Bigfoot, and I think it added a nice bit of variety to the usual found footage dross. I liked the exploration of what a Bigfoot would be like and what it could do: alien or not.

Although, never before in all my time watching films have I ever met a lead character more unlikable than the lead in this, Sean Reynolds (Drew Rausch). I came to call the character discount Tom Cruise and I feel like if you watch the film you will see why. There is just something so obnoxious about him, I don’t know if that is how the character is suppose to be, or if the actor if just unbearable, but in nearly every scene he is the worst character in the room; taking the idea of a ‘dude bro’ to the extreme.

I thought the Alien or possible demonic suggestion at the end was a nice twist and left you with something to think about. I personally enjoyed the ambiguity and the fact that we never got a good look at what a Bigfoot looked like; it keeps the mystery alive.

Overall, I think this is a surprisingly good found footage movie cursed with one hell of an unlikable lead, but if you can get past him there is a decent film waiting for you.

Pros.

The handling of Bigfoot.

The ambiguity.

The ending.

It is very interesting.

Cons.

The lead is utterly hateable.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Howling: Wellness Retreat Ends In Werewolf Attack

The Howling is a werewolf themed horror film directed by Joe Dante. The plot sees local news anchor Karen White (Dee Wallace), go to a mountain retreat after a near fatale run in with a serial killer. However, while there Karen does not find herself or her inner power, rather a colony of werewolves that have been living amongst us for years.

I am a huge Joe Dante fan, as many of you may know I have a huge love for Gremlins 1 and 2 as well as for some of his other projects like Burying The Ex, so I will try and remain impartial while I am writing this review.

Truth be told, I did not love this film as much as I was expecting to. In fact I found it to be boring at times and a little hard to follow. I think from a narrative perspective a lot of the ideas don’t come together, they are fine on their own, but don’t make sense when viewed as a whole. I found the beginning particularly bad for this, but it does improve as the film goes on.

I think the best thing about this film is the creature design. The werewolf costumes are of course practical, and I am a big believer in practical effects over CGI, they look very convincing and even hold up to our modern standard years later. I also thought the transformation scenes were well done, not American Werewolf In London good, but still terrific.

I also loved the ending, I thought it was bold and striking; shame about the sequel baiting at the end though.

Overall, a little boring and rough around the edges, but if you like werewolf film there is still something to enjoy!

Pros.

The creature design.

The ending.

Dante’s direction.

Cons.

It is boring and hard to follow at times.

The sequel baity ending

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Borderlands: Sometimes The Old Ways Take Over

The Borderlands/ or as it is otherwise known as The Final Pray is a British found footage horror movie directed by Elliot Goldner. The plot sees a team of Vatican Investigators descend upon a small English town after a local priest claims to have witness a miracle, or at least something unexplainable. The team soon start to notice odd things going on and suspicions grow.

I was on the verge of not watching found footage films anymore, films like Found Footage 3D and the second Blair Witch film had led me to lose faith in the genre with film after film feeling like samey, boring, repetitive trash. However, after a few people on Twitter recommended this film to me I decided to have one last hurrah and give it a go and I am pleased to tell you I enjoyed it.

For a start it is nice to see a found footage horror film set in the UK, in a quaint little village no less, rather than some endlessly expansive wood somewhere Stateside. Another thing I appreciate about this film is that it does not drag things out. We all know how it goes, first you get some bangs, then maybe something falls off the wall, then they put up cameras, then they hear something etc; it is at this point formulaic and obvious. However, before the first 20 minutes are over in this film a group of the local youth have set a sheep on fire to scare the priests and their associates, there is no boring, drawn out built; this film gets right to it.

Another thing I will applaud this film for is you’re never quite sure what the monster is. Even in the final moments of the film you are none the wiser as to what is killing the men. A Pagan God seems like the most logical suspect, but nothing is ever confirmed, and the ending is deliberately ambiguous.

The one thing I will bring the film up on, is the use of camera effects such as cutting out and distortion. Whenever something paranormal happens the camera picture starts to break up, obviously so they didn’t have to find a practical way to show what was happening, and normally I wouldn’t mind this, but here it felt a little overused.

Overall, a marvellous found footage film that might have reignited my interest in the genre.

Pros.

It is nice seeing it set in the UK for a change.

The ending and the ambiguity.

It gets right into it.

The scares.

Cons.

The camera trickery is overused.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Red Dragon: Replacing Clarice Again

Red Dragon is a crime thriller film directed by Brett Ratner; serving as a prequel of sorts to the Hannibal films. Obviously, Ratner is a very troubling person for a lot of reasons, but I will try to look past that for the purposes of this review. The plot this time around focuses on the man who caught Hannibal Lecture (Anthony Hopkins), Will Graham (Edward Norton). Once again, an FBI agent needs Hannibal’s help to catch the latest twisted serial killer; they really need to start paying him to consult.

I would rank the Hannibal films I have seen so far in this order, descending in quality, Silence Of The Lambs, Hannibal, Red Dragon. I don’t by any means think this is a bad film, far from it in fact, I just think it can’t hope to compete with the others. The relationship between Norton’s and Hopkins’ characters is interesting, but it is no will they Clarice and Hannibal; though I did enjoy that little tease at the end.

My thoughts on the film’s villain The Tooth Fairy (Ralph Fiennes), are the complete counter to what they were when I reviewed Hannibal. I think unlike in that film, where Gary Oldman’s character was pushed to the side in favour of Hannibal, this time it is the other way around. For a Hannibal Lecture film we get surprisingly not a lot of him, Fiennes is definitely the main focus. Hopkins gives his all when he is onscreen, which is commendable as always.

The balancing act between Hannibal and whatever serial killer him and his FBI associate are trying to catch is always the crucial thing with these films and it goes both ways, neither good, with the only film in the series to get the balance right being The Silence Of The Lambs, but that is a hard film to follow.

Overall, it is still good, just not as good than the film that proceeded it.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Wolf Creek: The Australian Micheal Myers

Wolf Creek is an Australian horror thriller film directed by Greg Mclean. The plot follows a group of tourists that become targeted by a demented xenophobic serial killer who hunts them down with the intent to kill them. This film was based on a series of real-life backpacker murders that happened in Australia a few years before the film was released.

In horror circles, this film has a reputation, it is held up as being a great slasher film and one of the best Australian horror films. However when I put it on I was incredibly disappointed with it. I thought it was boring and that it couldn’t hold a candle to other Australian horror gems like The Babadook and Boar.

I thought the only redeemable thing about this film is John Jarrett. Jarrett is an Australian national treasure and his involvement with this is the thing that got me excited for it. He plays the evil killer Mick Taylor and he gives the best performance he can, he is manic and off the wall and his character is the only really memorable part of this film.

My issues start with the fact that this film is boring, there is only about 10 minutes of it that are actually interesting and watchable. This film suffers from some of the worst pacing issues I have seen in a long time, the first act is a chore to get through and makes you want to turn it off and it doesn’t pick up until the last 10 minutes; even they aren’t worth the wait.

The characters are bland and forgettable and the based on true story bent to it has been done to death and this film is not doing anything new or interesting with it.

Overall, this film is a bore and one that is a test of strength to finish

Pros.

John Jarrett.

Cons.

It is boring.

It does nothing new with the format.

The characters are paper thin.

It takes a lot to finish it.

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

What We Do In The Shadows: Raising A Glass To Steve

What We Do In The Shadows is a horror comedy mockumentary film directed by Taika Waititi and Jeamaine Clement. The plot follows a New Zealand based group of vampires as they allows a film crew to follow them around for a few months, we get to see what goes on in the day to day of these vampires and see the wider Wellington supernatural community.

This film might be Waititi best. As far as comedy horror films goes this film is amazing. It manages to play off Vampire legends/mythology so well whilst also introducing its own mythology that only serves to deepen these vampires as characters. The comedy is also pitch perfect managing to be hilariously absurd and wonderfully weird.

Clement’s character of Valdislav is easily the best, being effortlessly cool and funny. The joke of having ‘The Beast’ turn out to be an ex-girlfriend of his is funny and it really serves to humanise the character as we see just how hung up on her he is. The other character are also amusing and charming, but none more so than Clement. Though Rhys Derby as the leader of a group of Werewolves is a close second, his and Clement’s chemistry is fantastic even though they’re only on screen for a very small amount of time together.

I love the world the film sets up, a world where zombies, witches, werewolves and other supernatural creatures exist, it is fascinating. To that end I also thought the character were really well fleshed out over the course of the film and by the end we had a good idea of what sort of vampires they were, a perfect example of characterisation done well.

Overall, a terrific horror comedy, definitely one of the best.

Pros.

The characters.

Clement.

Derby.

The world.

The humour.

Cons.

The TV show is just slightly better.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Ps. Check out the fantastic TV show it is one of the best things on right now!