The Last Duel: The Horrors Of The Female Experience

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two medieval feudal lords come to blows over a series of injustices.

This film is incredibly hard to watch. It is deeply hard to get through as it features a number of rape scenes which are increasingly graphic. Though I don’t know the need to be as graphic as the film chooses to be with them, I do think that using them in the narrative this film creates is a good thing as it sets up an important conversation about accountability and the mistrust of female victims when they come forward.

In many ways the film is incredibly powerful as it makes us reflect on the female experience and at how throughout time men have abused their positions and powers within society. There are some lines in this film particularly during the third chapter which is the truth of events from Marguerite’s, played by Jodie Cormer, point of view which are incredibly harrowing and show just how deep the injustice goes.

I thought Jodie Cormer was terrific here and her performance carried serious weight. Sadly, however she was let down by her co-stars, who ranged from underused to miscast. Yes, I am referring to Matt Damon who is by far the worst performer in this film. To make matters worse this film is set in France yet everyone has an American or British accent which is not only distracting but irritating and feels done because an executive thought ‘oh American audiences can’t understand a French accent or won’t read subtitles. With the idea that the actors also didn’t want to have to either learn French or try and do an accent also a likely possibility.

Overall, a powerful film in many ways but one that you would never want to watch twice.

Pros.

The conversation it starts

Addressing male abuses of power

The female perspective

Cons.

Matt Damon

The American accents

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Ron’s Gone Wrong: The Most Toxic Message Of The Year

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

In a dystopia where children need a personal robot to be their friend and post everything they do online one boy, voiced by Jack Dylan Grazer, complains to his family about not having one and then is unhappy when he gets a discounted one. An unhealthy friendship ensues.

Don’t take your kids to see this. Don’t waste your money. There are so, so many better animated films out there that actually have a positive message and enrich those who view them, this only serves to cause harm. This is one of the worst animated films I have seen in a long time.

Firstly, the main boy inspires no sympathy because whilst yes he is a social outcast once he gets a friend in his damaged robot Ron, voiced by Zach Galifianakis, he immediately puts him down and treats him like dirt. Insisting that he gets to pick his friends and because Ron is not perfect out of the box he doesn’t want to know him, what sort of message is this sending to kids? Yes, as the film goes on her learns the error of his ways, but by that point he is already a loathsome lead.

Secondly, this film seems to view the younger generation as being unable to function without constantly being online, which I don’t believe is true. Rather it is more likely to be a cynical Gen X or older view of ‘these young people today always on their phones’, which honestly was never more than a gross generalisation. The world that this film is set in is honestly a hellscape, with big tech companies being basically all powerful, and viewed in this context the whole film becomes incredibly depressing, was that the point?

Thirdly, and in my opinion the most grievous of all, this film treats online issues as throwaway lines and worse yet jokes. Within the film one of the characters Savannah, voiced by Kylie Cantrall, becomes the victim of online bullying as she is labelled ‘poop girl’. This presents the film with the opportunity to tackle an issue that is effecting a lot of young people around the globe, however, rather than do this it trivialises the issue, overlooks it in favour of continuing the main plot and then uses it as a joke as the film almost wants you to laugh at her for being called ‘poop girl’. In my mind not only is this a wasted opportunity but also it is incredibly dangerous.

Overall, this film highlights everything wrong with modern animation, and children should not be allowed to see it.

Pros

Ron is a nice character who made me laugh

Cons.

It is harmful

Using online bullying as a joke

The main kid is a brat and the film says his friend with Ron is good when in fact it is deeply unhealthy

Kids today, and how again Hollywood executives don’t know the first thing

It’s message is rotten

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Halloween Season Of The Witch: The Horrors Of Children’s TV Advertising Taken To An Extreme

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Taking a drastic departure from Michael Myers, this film explores the efforts of one man, played by Dan O’ Herlihy, to murder children through an elaborate scheme involving flashing adverts and children’s Halloween masks.

Many people dislike this film as it tried to change what the franchise was perceived to be about, however, I think the film is stronger for doing this and in many ways ahead of its time. Furthermore, I think this film has more than enough personality and interesting ideas to be worth merit entirely on in its own right.

That is not to say this is a perfect film. The plot is widely nonsensical, cheesy and silly and whilst this can allow for some enjoyment it also reduces the fear of the film making it less effective as a horror film. I didn’t find myself being scared like I did with the original Halloween whilst watching it.

I thought the acting across the board was fairly strong, with no one letting the side down.

A final thought is that I would like to see the Halloween franchise go back to the idea of anthology as there is a lot that could be done there, I don’t mean have a film filled with little shorts but rather have each subsequent film in the series feature knew characters and ideas but share the same world as those before it. Basically to expand the universe out.

Overall, an interesting film though one that is not in any way scary.

Pros.

The ending

The ideas of Celtic magic

Doing something new

Cons.

It is not scary

There are pacing issues throughout

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Temple: A Camera So Powerful It Can Record People Having Sex Through Walls

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Three friends go to Japan in search of a supposedly haunted temple, once they find this temple things quickly start to go wrong. It is a very familiar premise.

This idea has been done to death, a group of people seek out x building usually because its rumoured to be haunted, then it is, and things go bad. At this point it is just lazy storytelling, the writers for these films could try and at least come up with some new reasons why these characters want to explore haunted buildings, but no.

Moreover, this film also trots out the dead all along little kid cliché. There is a little child guide in this film who turns out to be either not real or a ghost depending on your interpretation, of course the job of this kid is to lure the young folk out to the temple, what a shock. I think the use of this cliché just shows how bland and by the numbers this film is, clearly the writer of the film didn’t want to give it anything resembling a personality and just wanted to stick to shlock and it shows.

That said I would not say this is a terrible film, the creature design is good and there are a fair few good scares once they get to the temple, there is some promise there sadly it is just never developed in any way.

Overall, though it has a few interesting ideas for the most part this film is just things you have seen before.

Pros.

A few good scares

The creature design

The Japanese flavour to the horror

Cons.

It is riddled with cliches

The writing is awful

Not a single one of the characters is likeable

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Nosferatu: Dracula By Any Other Name

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An unofficial retelling of Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

I have seen many different versions of the Dracula story over the years, most of which just feel like the same old thing trotted out yet again, however here it feels different. This is because of two things, firstly though it is an unofficial retelling and has different character names and a few new twists and turns this film does feel in many ways like a very faithful adaptation of the novel. Secondly, this film has enough of its own personality and style to stand out and create something for itself away from the Dracula myth.

I found the Count, played by Max Schreck, to be quite a striking villain. The design of his monster makeup is very well done and results in a very terrifying and memorable character on screen. Further adding to this I liked that the film did not go down the trite rabbit hole of having Dracula be sexy. In many vampire films the vampires don’t look monstrous and scary instead they are made to look sexy, this ruins the threat and it many ways hamstrings the sub-genre.

My main issue with this film was the timings of the inter-title cards. Some were too quick and others took far too long to leave, this became an issue as the film went on as the ones that were too quick made me feel like I was missing out elements of the film and the ones that were too slow bored me and took me out of it. Both resulted in the same effect, me becoming less engaged.

Overall, a good vampire film and one that is a classic in its own right. However, that is not to say it is perfect the inter-title cards have timing issues and some of the shots are difficult to translate, leaving you once again struggling to know what is going on.

Pros.

A faithful adaptation

Not making the monster sexy

A strong sense of style

Cons.

Some of the shots are hard to understand, the techniques used now feel confusing.

The inter-titles

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I’m Your Man: A Human Robot Love Affair Is The Next Stage Of Human Evolution

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Scientist Alma, Maren Eggert, is tasked with completing a three week trial with a humanoid robot, played by Dan Stevens, who is designed to be the man of her dreams. When the three weeks are up she is to write either in favour, or not, of giving these robotic beings rights based on her experiences.

I enjoyed this film quite a lot. I thought it had such a huge heart that it was almost impossible not to like it. The film tries to further the questions of what does it mean to be human and can love transcend all bounds, in this case can a human woman love a robot man, is the robot man even capable of feeling love? I feel it does an admiral job of this and gives us a response to these questions that is deep and multi-layered, the response the question deserves.

I also found this film to be quite funny, there was a lot of humour situated around how Steven’s robot character responded to Alma’s initial rejection and also his day to day life, which is odd by human standards. Most of this humour landed for me and made me chuckle, it was not a laugh out loud sort of film, but there were plenty of chuckle worthy moments.

Overall, a sweet film that has a lot to say about life, love and robotics.

Pros.

Eggert

Stevens

The sweet love story

Trying to answer the big questions

A number of funny moments

Cons.

The beginning is initially confusing as the film doesn’t do a good job explaining early on what is happening.

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Boogeyman: There Was Something In Your Wardrobe After All

4 /5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Tim, Barry Watson, is forced to return to his childhood home after the death of his mum. Whilst there Tim becomes once again wrapped up in fighting the unseen supernatural force that terrorised him as a child.

I think this film does a lot with very little. Without showing us the titular Boogeyman much the film creates an environment of fear, showing us that this entity is a threat and is not something to be taken lightly. It uses the simplest of scares to do this but it uses them so effectively that it works and leads to some great moments that are chilling.

When the film does show us the Boogeyman it does so sparingly as to still keep some of the myth around the character alive. The glimpses we do see highlight a well done monster with a distinctive design that is frightening. I think the film strikes the perfectly balance between not showing us the creature and showing us too much.

The main thing that I think holds this film back is the little girl twist. Throughout the film there is a little girl who acts as a guide of sorts to Tim informing him of the Boogeyman and his history. However, later in the film it is revealed that she is in fact dead and was one of the Boogeyman’s victims, this twist doesn’t work as it is blindingly obvious from the get-go that this was the case.

Overall, a strong horror film with an obvious twist.

Pros.

The scares

The atmosphere

Watson

The mythology

Cons.

The twist

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Halloween Kills: So What’s The Point Now?

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Michael Myers, James Jude Courtney/ Nick Castle, in once again at large and the town of Haddonfield must really together to bring him down.

I am deeply mixed on this film. First thing I want to get out of the way is that this film is not the over the top gorefest you have been lead to believe by some critics, yes there are some gnarly scenes but it is nothing more than you would expect from a slasher movie.

Before we get into it I just want to put a big old SPOILER WARNING here, be warned that everything following on from this will have spoilers come back after you’ve watched it or keep reading if you don’t care.

So…… The entire Halloween franchise just doesn’t matter now. Michael Myers can never be defeated as he represents humanity’s divide nature, so what’s the point? The film would have been better served to say he is supernatural, but no, it just gives us this preachy trying too hard piece of dialogue instead. Honestly, this film makes me worried for the next one as I don’t think it will be the finale that we have been promised and instead just keep pumping out these ideas of oh Michael can’t die until we love each other more.

In keeping with that another narrative thing I didn’t like here was the mass hysteria or mob justice scene which sees the residents of Haddonfield become so wrapped up in their own fear that they force an innocent and mostly likely mentally handicapted man to kill himself through fear of if he doesn’t he will be ripped apart by the mob. I understand the incredibly on the nose point this film was trying to make, asking the old adage of ‘who is the real monster’ but it rings hollow: mainly because they move on from it incredibly quickly and the ringleader faces very little comeuppance for his role in it.

Despite these screenplay thematic issues there are still some good moments here. I enjoyed seeing Myers do what he does best and just go around slashing, there was some gory fun to be had there. I also thought Jamie Lee Curtis had a lot of fun whenever she was on screen she really sold her performance, though I feel like for her this is vey much a middle film as she doesn’t actually do very much.

Overall, was it worth the wait probably not. We need more good old slasher vibes and less complex meditations on society.

Pros.
Still some old school slasher charm

Carpenter’s score

Curtis

Cons.

The mob justice scene

Having Michael be a metaphor

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Beverly Hills Cop: In Need Of Sneaking In Somewhere? Bring A Floral Bouquet

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A maverick cop from Detroit, played by Eddie Murphy, heads to Beverly Hills to avenge his friend who was recently killed.

I can see how this was popular and how it inspired a larger franchise. Murphy is at his most charming and likeable here, with enough jokes and heart to keep you engaged throughout. Not all the jokes landed, though enough did that you stayed entertained. Moreover, as far as ‘cops who don’t play by the rules go’ Murphy’s Foley is one of the nicer ones, this makes rooting for him far easier especially now in the era of us questioning the power of the police.

My issues with this film come from the fact that it did nothing new. It felt like just another buddy cop film, if you take out Eddie Murphy the film becomes so generic that it would simply fade to the background of the genre. Throughout the film I was hoping for something to shock me but it didn’t, the film played out exactly as I thought it would.

Overall, it is a fun buddy cop film because of Murphy without him this film is incredibly generic.

Pros.

Murphy

The heart

A few good laughs

Cons.

The supporting cast is largely underused

The film is predictable

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The Manor: Forget Teens Old People Are The New Stars Of Horror

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After suffering a fall Judith, Barbra Hershey, checks into an assisted living facility. However, once there she notices that the residents are dying at an unusually high rate.

I have stayed well clear of the Welcome To Blumhouse films, as they are mostly pretty poor, however I decided to dip my toe into them with this film and it was okay.

There are some interesting ideas here and it is nice to see a horror film fronted by older people rather than the usual collection of teenage cliches. However, nothing in this film feels fresh. A lot of the reveals and twists feel like they have been done to death and are incredibly obvious, there is no mystery to the film as you can guess what is going to happen fairly easily from the beginning.

The only thing that did surprise me was the ending. I thought for sure Judith would have destroyed the evil tree monster in the film’s final scenes, but no she instead decided to become evil. This feels like a cheap subversion in that it makes little sense for the character to do this as we have been led to believe that she is a good person who would not succumb to such behaviour. Though I do applaud the film for doing it as it actually shocked me.

Overall, a very by the numbers horror film but the final shock was enough to push it above average.

Pros.

Having the guts to go for that ending

It is very watchable

Hershey does a good job

Cons.

It is predictable

It is not at all scary

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