House Of The Dragon: The Lord Of The Tides

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Families are brought round the dinner table to try and mend fences

I thought this was a slower episode for sure but I did like the fact that it highlighted Rhaenyra, played by Emma D’Arcy and Alicent, played by Oliva Cooke used to be friends. There are moments in the episode where you almost think maybe this is all going to work out okay, maybe they can put their difference aside and be friends again, but then you realise the show that you are watching.

I thought Ser Vaemond felt very villain of the week like and it was clear from the offset that something bad would happen to him. However, I can’t complain too much as this storyline did give us an immensely satisfying Daemon, played by Matt Smith, moment in which he cuts Vaemond head in two and also allows for Viserys, played by Paddy Considine, to have one last strong moment and go out on top.

Overall, a fun episode but certainly not the best of the series.

Pros.

Daemon splitting heads

Viserys going out on top

Reminding us of the friendship between Rhaenyra and Alicent

Cons.

It is a bit slow

Sir Vaemond felt like a villain of the week

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The Curse Of Bridge Hallow: Marlon Wayans The Family Film Star

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A family moving into the suburbs are surprised to find that Halloween decorations are coming to life all over town.

Marlon Wayans in a family comedy? The phrase seems wrong doesn’t it, when I think of Marlon Wayans I think of his plethora of adult focused parody films or perhaps some of his surprising dramatic turns, but never once do I think of him as being a family film star. That said I actually liked him in this and thought that he was the best part of the film, without him this film would have been a lot worse that’s for sure.

I think the premise of the film feels very familiar and nothing new is added to it here, for the most part everything is incredibly predictable and you know where it is heading. Obviously as this is a family film the scares are fairly light on the ground, but Wayans does bring one or two laughs to make up for it.

The wider cast outside of Wayans might as well not even be there because none of them even register. For the most part they are a collection of phoned in performances and cliches lacking anything even remotely resembling character or personality, this is why Wayans and his character anchor this film so well as they at least bring some charm to proceedings.

Overall, a fairly average film made slightly better by Marlon Wayans.

Pros.

Wayans

A few funny moments

It is watchable

Cons.

It is very familiar and predictable

Most of the cast here aren’t very good

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The Winchesters: Pilot

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The CW is in desperate need for successful shows so now we are being given a spinoff/prequel about the Brothers from Supernatural’s parents.

So this episode was a mixed bag, in some senses it is nice to be back in the world of Supernatural again, in addition I also like the very active role that Dean, played by Jensen Ackles, is taking in the show being both the narrator and also turning up at the end, I think for this prequel series to work it needs to be tied in heavily to the original series. I think it is a shame that Ackles is still mainly acting through this franchise and think that he is a talented actor that deserves to breakout more, I hope he can return to the Boys next season.

Moreover, I think that Meg Donnelly, who plays Mary Winchester, is doing a hell of a lot of the heavy lifting here. She was the only new character who was both interesting and also charming the rest struggled to be either. I think that John, played by Drake Rodger, is a wet blanket and cannot possibly hold a candle to the Jeffery Dean Morgan version of the character we saw in Supernatural. The sidekicks were instantly annoying and one note, hopefully they don’t stick around beyond this opening arc.

Lastly I think that the opening mystery that this episode tries to set up is pretty boring all things considered and doesn’t really inspire confidence for where the series is going to go, however, it is worth noting that pilots are often quite rough and hopefully the later episodes will be better because if they carry on like this I will be checking out soon.

Overall, It is nice to see Dean again and be back in that world but ultimately this feels needless.

Pros.

Dean

The return to the world

It is watchable

Cons.

Most of the cast outside of Mary are dull and or one note

It has major pacing issues

The mystery doesn’t feel particularly interesting

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House Of The Dragon: Driftmark

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Things come to blows at a funeral.

I think this may have been the best episode of House Of The Dragon yet. The tension throughout the episode was palpable, and the coming war is just screaming out at this point. Through out the whole of the episode you feel as though you are on a knife edge just waiting to fall over the other side, but that never comes which in my mind was disappointing.

I liked that Alicent, played by Olivia Cooke, finally made her feelings for Rhaenyra, played by Emma D’Arcy known openly and I thought the scene where she tried to stab her was, pardon the overused phrase, edge of seat viewing. However, my issue with this scene was that it felt anticlimactic, as though the show knows what we all want and told us to wait till after dinner. The fact that nothing was done about Alicent trying to kill a princess is shocking, and I for one was screaming at the TV ‘are you really going to let her get away with that’.

In other developments House Of The Dragon much like its forbearer Game Of Thrones is again pushing another incestuous pairing front and centre, but unlike with GOT here you are actually rooting for the couple far more. Matt Smith’s Daemon is great here, as always, and I really enjoyed his sneaky cloak bad scene towards the end of the episode; it is always fun to see him get into mischief.

Overall, I came damn near close to giving this 5, but I felt the ending was just a little anticlimactic.

Pros.

The tension

War is brewing

It is edge of seat viewing

The ending

Dameon and Rhaenyra finally get together

Cons.

It is a little anti-climatic

House Of The Dragon: The Princess And The Queen

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A time jump highlights the breakdown in relations between Alicent, played by Olivia Cooke, and Rhaenyra, played by Emma D’Arcy, meanwhile Daemon, played by Matt Smith, grieves.

I think again this was a slower paced episode but also one that featured a lot of great performances. Emma D’Arcy is magnificent in every scene they are in, and can communicate a great deal with even the smallest facial gesture, Cooke is also excellent and her character is quickly becoming a love to hate villain.

I thought the Dameon side plot was a little out of left field, but it was nice to see him actually happy with his lady wife as it adds some greater depth to his character. I do think the asides the episode makes to check in with his character slow it down a lot and not in any kind of good way.

The final battle/ red wedding esque fire scene was a very fitting end for the episode and really helped to make it feel as though things are ramping up as we head into the final few episodes of the season.

Overall, a good episode but definitely slower and less interesting than some of the others.

Pros.

Exploring new depths with Daemon

D’Arcy

Cooke

The ending of the episode

Cons.

It is quite slow paced

Some of the breaks away to focus on Daemon’s new life feel quite dull

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The Sandman: Bring Me A Dream

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Morpheus, played by Tom Sturridge, the Lord of the Dreaming is captured and kept in isolation for a century, once he escapes he finds things have fallen apart in his kingdom and need to be restored.

I am a big, big, big fan of the Sandman comic, and also of its author Neil Gaiman as such I have been eagerly awaiting this show for a long time. The reason this review is quite past the time of the series release is because I wanted to reread the comic run along side watching the episode of the show, as such things were slowed down but I don’t regret it for a second.

Never before have I seen an adaptation which so perfectly brings the comic book it is based on to life. As I was reading the comics in between watching episode I saw whole series of panels be brough to life almost identically and I think that is one hell of an achievement. Likewise the casting is spot on, Sturridge is a fantastic Dream, Boyd Holbrook perfectly captures the Corinthian and Jenna Coleman and Gwendolyn Christie bring fantastic new takes on characters that I was really quite attached to in Sandman but also their own Vertigo comic runs.

My only criticism of this show, and it is minor, is that some of the new additions for the show that veer ever so slightly away from the comic do produce somewhat of a jarring effect. Like I said before most of the changes, updates and swaps work incredibly well but a few don’t luckily I could ignore it for the most part. Furthermore, the first episode is quite slow, but I suppose it had to be to be able to bring in a casual audience that knew nothing going in, I was expecting it to hit the road at full speed but that was perhaps a little rash of me.

Overall, easily the best thing on Netflix in years.

Pros

The casting

A new take

Bringing over panels seamlessly

The ending and things to come

Cons.

Some of the changes don’t work

The first episode is quite slow

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House Of The Dragon: We Light The Way

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Rhaenyra, played by Milly Alcock, gets married and battle lines are drawn.

I think this was another great episode of House Of The Dragon. The opening of Daemon, played by Matt Smith, killing his wife was absolutely chilling and reminded us of the monster that he really is. Couple this with the marriage brawl murder later in the episode and we really get quite a lot of violence and mayhem here.

I thought the courtroom intrigue was possibly stronger here then it was last week. I like that the show is very clearly laying down roots, you can see the future planning happening. I think the character work here is also really strong and several characters get a nice amount of development.

If I had one criticism of this episode it would be how much focus they give to Alicent, played by Emily Carey, and her fixation on Rhaenyra’s virginity. I feel like in GOT the character would have used this information to their advantage and not acted shocked for the whole episode, which came across almost as a mixture of naivety and slut shaming. It made Alicent very easily hateable.

Overall, the show is really hitting its stride.

Pros.

The opening Daemon scene

The wedding sequence

The future set up

The ramping tension

Cons.

The way they write Alicent

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Pinocchio: Chapek Is Spitting On The Disney Vault

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Yet another unwanted live-action remake of a classic Disney movie.

As soon as this was announced I knew it was going to be bad, but boy howdy did I not realise just how bad it was going to be. Disney has been churning out these soulless remake for a while now and for some reason people are still watching them, maybe it is part of a masochistic new TikTok trend.

I think the worst thing about this film is that its CGI looks straight up horrible, it looks like something from several decades ago and is frequently distracting. I understand that Disney and their various studios are having a hard time with VFX talent, but come on these effects are nowhere near finished and it shows. This is probably why they dumped this on streaming because they know it wouldn’t fly in cinemas.

Moreover, this film reflects the continued downswing of Tom Hank’s career with his performance here being almost as bad as his one in Elvis earlier this year. It is not just Hanks as no one seems to be turning up for this film and it really shows, the cast just don’t care.

I won’t bother saying how this film never does anything to justify its existence as I find that to be self-explanatory.

Overall, if it is a Disney live action remake it is best avoided.

Pros.

It makes you appreciate the original film

Cons.

It has some of the worst effects of the year

The performances are awful

It feels rushed and unready for release

The pacing is noticeably bad in many parts of the film

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House Of The Dragon: King Of The Narrow Sea

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Daemon, played by Matt Smith, returns to court and Rhaenyra, played by Milly Alcock, hits the town.

Things slow down a gear, but that doesn’t make this a bad episode. It is far more intimate and character driven than some of the previous episode we have had and we get a far greater exploration of Rhaenyra as a character.

I enjoyed the sex positive approach this episode took and think that we should see more content like it, for too long young women have been taught to repress their sexual urges and to be chaste, old fashion sounding but surprisingly common practice, so I think it is a good thing that Rhaenyra takes what she wants here in a sexual sense.

I also thought the complete destruction of Otto Hightower, played by Rhys Ifans, was very satisfying. All season long he has been slimy so it is nice to finally see him get his, even though he will probably be back at it in the next episode.

My main criticism of this episode would be that it was the first to really struggle with its pace in a major way and that by having such a personal focus there are a few boring sequences.

Overall, an episode that does a lot right but that also struggles with its pacing.

Pros.

The sex positive approach

The destruction of Otto Hightower

The character focus

Matt Smith is great again

Cons.

The pacing

A few needless asides

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Three Thousand Years Of Longing: Idris Elba Topless For Almost Two Hours

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A woman, played by Tilda Swinton, meets a djinn, played by Idris Elba, and the experience changes her life.

I think the trailers for this film are misleading, they make it seem whimsical and fun when in actual fact there is a quite a sad and melancholic tone that runs throughout the film. In that vein you are never quite sure whether anything that is happening actually is or whether it is actually Swinton’s character slipping into mental illness as such there is a quite an unsettling aspect to proceedings. It will be one of those instances where how you choose to see the film will determine what you take from it, but for me the lead’s mental illness was clear and that took away a lot of the joy for me of this film and actually made it quite sad and depressing.

Moreover, though usually Tilda Swinton is a gifted performer her performance her leaves something to be desired. This is main due to the fact that the Northern accent she is trying to do is quite frankly awful, Swinton is laying it on far too thick and as someone from that neck of the woods I can say with confidence that it is laughably bad.

The only reason that this film got a point from me is because some of its more absurdist comedic leanings made me laugh, believe me this is not a funny film by any means but there were one or two laughs that worked for me.

Overall, not an enjoyable time at the cinema.

Pros.

A few laughs to be had

Cons.

It is depressing

It is unsettling

Swinton’s accent is awful

It is badly paced