Love, Guaranteed: A Quest Of Thirst

Love, Guaranteed is a romantic comedy film directed by Mark Stephen Johnson. The plot follows Nick (Damon Wayans Jr), a man who has been on over 1000 dates with the dating website Love, Guaranteed and is still yet to find ‘the one’. Enter Susan (Rachel Leigh Cooke), a lawyer who is in desperate need of a winning case, sparks fly and love blooms.

This film very much gets worse as time goes on, the characters become more and more unlikable and considering the fact that start off as poorly conceived cliches you can imagine how bad they are by the end. The message of the film seems to be oddly inconsistent and change on the fly. At one point the film is pushing that it is wrong to guarantee love, but by the end of the film it is fine to guarantee love because the baddies payed the main characters some money; the film is morally bankrupt.

Wayans Jr tries his best to inject some much-needed charism into this film, because god knows that Cooke is a wet blanket, but the poor script leaves him with little to work with. Everything about this film feels artificial and as though it has been made by comity, that is to say everything feels just a bit too safe and false.

Overall, this is a very by the numbers rom com, you can tell no real thought or effort was put into it. The romantic spark isn’t there and the characters and their dialogue is just awful.

Pros.

Wayans is trying

Cons.

It is on for too long

It feels low effort

The leads have no chemistry

The characters start off as cliches and quickly get worse

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Babysitter Killer Queen: Netflix Really Doesn’t Understand Teens, How To Regress Characters And Ruin A Good Thing.

The Babysitter, Killer Queen is a comedy horror film directed by McG. The plot follows on directly from The Babysitter, where we now see Cole (Judah Lewis), live a life of ridicule. No one believes him, but one day events transpire to prove just how real his ordeal was.

So, I was a big fan of The Babysitter and was quite excited for this sequel, even if Samara Weaving was going to have far less of a role. It brings me no pleasure to say this is bad, it is bad for a series of reasons that I believe came about as the creatives didn’t realise what worked and what people liked about the first film.

The characters are walked back on from the first film, they behave in ways that don’t really add up with how they would do based on what we know of them from the previous film, it is contradictory. Like there is nothing to suggest that Cole’s parents would just give up on him and send him off to a mental institution. Likewise the end of the first film suggest that Melanie (Emily Alyn Lind) and Cole, might have feelings for each other and that they might start dating, yet that seems to be set back a ways here; most likely so they can string the same beats out.

The character dialogue I found to be incredibly cringey a lot of the time, it feels once again like an adult trying to guess/replicate from a false understanding how teen’s today talk. The returns and reveals all felt quite hollow to me, as though they were trying to make the best out of bad situation.

Overall, this film proves conclusively that not every film needs a sequel.

Pros.

It is still entertaining

There are a few good moments

Cons.

The characters are altered in ways that make them inconsistent

The dialogue is awful

It doesn’t have the same tension or sense of fun as the first film

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Night School: The Joys Of Learning And Christian Chicken

Night School is a comedy film directed by Malcolm D. Lee. The plot revolves around Teddy (Kevin Hart) a man who never graduated high school, and who has spent his life trying to ‘fake it till he makes it’. However, after a series of setbacks Teddy finds that he needs to go back to school to try and get his GED.

This is the funniest film that I have seen in a long time, certainly in 2020. Usually the comedy stylings of Hart and his co-star Tiffany Haddish aren’t to my taste, but they really work here. Not only that but this film also has an incredibly big heart, it is the sort of film that is nice to watch during trying times like these.

The twist that Teddy had learning difficulties, was handled well, but it was incredibly obvious, so it failed as a twist. Moreover an enemy of Teddy’s from high school is now Principal and sets out to make life hard for Teddy. This inter character relationship really adds nothing to the film and feels tacked on.

Overall, despite a few writing flaws that let it down, this is still an incredibly strong comedy film that often had me in stiches, and permanently glued a smile to my face. Comedy is subjective though, however.

Pros.

The comedy

The heart and the rootability

Kevin Hart

Tiffany Haddish

Cons.

The twist was obvious.

There was needless side characters that resulted in story padding.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Spy: Who Knew Jason Statham Was Funny?

Spy is a comedy spy film directed by Paul Feig. The plot sees unlikely spy Susan (Melissa McCarthy), get sent out into the field when it is discovered that the other secret agents’ identities have been compromised. For once her relative obscurity works in her favour.

I have to say when compared to the other Feig/McCarthy collaborations this is most likely the weakest. Bridesmaids and The Heat both had gross out humour and cheap jokes, but they also had more intelligent witty humour that felt well throughout, that worked to balance the film’s comedy. This film however, skews far more towards the crass and the low rent.

Melissa McCarthy does not have funny jokes here, no, her whole bit is deeply over reliant on physical comedy. If you don’t find her falling over funny then she likely won’t make you laugh in this one. Jason Statham on the other hand has a surprisingly strong comedic turn, though he is criminally underused.

The plot feels very familiar, especially to McCarthy, but it helped along greatly by a talented supporting cast with people like Statham and Rose Byrne helping to keep you engaged with the film, even if you don’t find McCarthy at all funny.

Sadly, everyone’s luck has to run out eventually. Feig can’t make McCarthy funny this time, as such the film is centered around a character who only makes you cringe and roll your eyes; talented supporting performances can’t make up for that.

Pros.

Jason Statham

Rose Byrne

Cons.

McCarthy’s slapstick isn’t at all funny

It feels been there done that

It is on for far too long, with really seems to be an issue with Paul Feig’s films overall.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Sandy Wexler: Exploitative And Mean Spirited

Sandy Wexler is a comedy drama film directed by Steve Brill. The plot follows the life of talent manager Sandy Wexler (Adam Sandler), as he tries to become ‘the King of Hollywood’.

Before we get into this I want to say that I find this film to be exploitative, very much little something like Billy Maddison the joke here is that Sandy is a little off, (indicated by the fact Sandler is doing a voice), he is dumb and seems to have incredibly poor social skills. The film goes out of its way for you to laugh at this person, rather than feel sorry for them, and personally I didn’t find it funny at all I found it to be incredibly mean spirited. Humour is subjective remember.

This film almost feels like a tragedy, rather than a comedy film. It is depressing, I am not going to lie to you, I found it very hard to finish. Sandy’s life is so awful, and he is treated so badly by almost everyone, yet you are still supposed to laugh at him, it reaches a point past desperate where it just became cruel.

Unrelated, this film is on for over two hours and there is no reason for it. The ‘jokes’ get tiresome after 10 minutes and none of the characters or their stories are worth sticking around for. It is a pain to finish

Overall, don’t watch this please. Spare yourself.

Pros.

It has one or two laughs spread out

Cons.

It feels exploitative

It isn’t funny

The characters are intensely unlikeable

It is on for far too long

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Blue Iguana: Sam Rockwell and Ben Schwartz Are The Pairing You Never Knew You Needed

Blue Iguana is a crime comedy film directed by Hadi Hajaig. The plot sees two American bank robbers get drawn into a plot to steal from a UK gang lord and his underlings.

This film is held together by the sheer star power and likeability of Sam Rockwell, without his involvement this would surely have faded into the background becoming yet another forgettable crime film. The on-screen chemistry Rockwell has with his heisting partner Paul (Ben Schwartz), is magnetic and keeps you invested throughout, the two play off each other nicely.

The film itself is not as clever as it thinks it is, or even as smart as a lot of better crime/ heist films. Everything is fairly predictable and there are no real twists and turns. That said there are a few memorable moments mostly steaming from the films antagonist Deacon (Peter Ferdinando), who is definitely an asset of the film.

This is definitely more of a comedy film than a crime film, as the drama often takes backstage to the jokes. For me this is a problem as often the jokes don’t land and only serve to take away from any sense of tension. Whenever, the characters feel in danger you know they will be fine, because it is that sort of the film; one that has no stakes.

There are some neat visuals towards the start of the film that feel very Edgar Wright inspired, it is a promising start, but said visuals disappear midway into the film leaving a void and disrupting the style of the film.

Overall, a visually interesting if lacking comedy crime film. Boosted by the talents of Rockwell and Ferdinando

Pros

Rockwell

Swartz

Ferdinando

Cons.

No stakes or tension

The jokes didn’t work at all

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Cuban Fury: A Peggless Frost Dances The Solo Salsa

Cuban Fury is a British comedy film directed by James Griffiths. The plot sees office worker/ child salsa prodigy Bruce (Nick Frost), get back into the salsa game in order to impress his new boss Julia (Rashida Jones). However, in doing so he realises that he has been living in fear of being himself for years and this salsa reawakening is just the thing he needs to remerge from his shell.

This is very watchable, but nothing special. It is very meh. Very predictable and like many other films you have seen before, just with a slightly tweaked premise.

Frost has a strong amount of charm and what I am going to coin as rootability, you want to see him win and be happy. He more than stands on his own without the involvement of his best friend Simon Pegg and is a competent lead.

Chris O’ Dowd is very easy to hate and plays the antagonistic non-threatening jerk type well. He is often forced into that sort of role and this is why. Ian McShane is again being typecast as the old wise mentor type character, but he plays the part perfectly so that is not really a complaint on my part. Jones is underused and is in the film barely at all, which I thought was an odd choice considering that she has incredibly strong comedic chops as shown by Angie Tribeca.

Overall, very watchable, but very familiar, it is fine if you can’t find anything else.

Pros

Frost

McShane

The wider supporting cast

Cons.

Under-using Rashida Jones

Very predictable and familiar

The drama between O’ Dowd and Frost gets quite repetitive after a while

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Heat: Paul Feig Pulls Off The Impossible Again

The Heat is a buddy cop comedy film directed by Paul Feig. The plot follows uptight FBI agent Ashburn (Sandra Bullock), as she is forced to work with unsavoury, unconventional beat cop Mullin’s (Melissa McCarthy). You guessed it, the two polar opposites learn a little from the other and become more rounded people and friends along the way.

So, yes the premise is uninspired and has been done one million times before, there is very little about this film that feels truly original. The plot is predictable and goes the way you would expect it to, there are no surprises, but this was never going to be that kind of film.

What impress me about this film is that Feig managed to do the impossible twice, the impossible being making Melissa McCarthy funny. Here McCarthy actually has quite a lot of funny moments and jokes that seem thought out, rather than just oh look she feel over, or oh look something about poo; maybe McCarthy should stop making films with her husband and only make comedy films with Feig, cleaning up her poor filmography.

The buddy cop dynamic between Bullock and McCarthy works well and they are each a good foil to the other, Bullock particularly handles the comedy well and manages to keep pace with McCarthy.

Overall, Paul Feig manages to make McCarthy funny which is no mean feat. If the plot was a little more original and a little less familiar I would be giving it top marks, but as is, it is okay.

Pros.

The dynamic between the leads

McCarthy and Bullock are both funny

The jokes are funny and smart

Cons.

It is so familiar

It is too long

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Johnny English Reborn: Forget Wick, Hunt, Reacher, Bourne and Eggsy, This Is Bond’s Real Competition

Johnny English Reborn is a comedy spy film directed by Oliver Parker. The plot sees international super spy Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson), come back from disgrace to find the world at the mercy of mysterious evil organisation Vortex, naturally he is the only man who can stop them.

In all honesty this film didn’t need to be made, the first Johnny English works as a perfectly fun standalone adventure, but as the rules of the industry go if something makes a little bit of a profit it must be mined for all it is worth. There is little new here that you haven’t seen before, nor is there any character development or plot intrigue to make it worth your time.

Atkinson is fine here, but again it is nothing you haven’t seen in the previous film. The real star of the show here is Agent Tucker (Daniel Kaluuya), who shines despite only being a glorified side kick. Him and Atkinson have a strong repour that is fun to watch.

The comedy didn’t really do much for me, again it was a retread and a rehash. It was watchable, but it never made me laugh or even smile really, but comedy is subjective. The plot feels like clutching at straws and the big-name actors who are brought in to try and sell more seats, don’t add all that much.

Overall, a deeply needless sequel, that only serves to stretch the jokes and the characters further- breaking both in the process.

Pros.

Daniel Kaluuya

It is very watchable

Cons.

It does not justify its existence

It isn’t funny

The new characters, other than Kaluuya’s Tucker, add nothing

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Emperor’s New Groove: A Hidden Gem Of Disney

The Emperors New Groove is an animated family film directed by Mark Dindal. The plot sees Emperor Kuzco (David Spade), be turned into a llama in order for villains to try and usurp this throne. The mighty Emperor must team up with a village peasant (John Goodman), in order to reclaim his birth right.

So despite this film coming out long after the golden years of Disney Animation, I think that this is one of the best Disney films possibly ever, but certainly of the early 2000’s.

The comedy and the charm are what really make this for me. I am a big David Spade fan and usually find him quite amusing, but I enjoyed how this film’s humour played off his personality as was often quite self-deprecating. I thought the choices of narration that breaks the fourth wall was also quite an inspired idea, one that makes the whole film feel more engaging.

I enjoyed the very distinct feel of this film and how because of the unique colour pallet and style it felt different from all the other Disney animated films. A film having a strong personality is always a good thing.

The supporting voice cast also do a good job, with Goodman and veteran Patrick Warburton being the standouts. There characters both feels very well realised, which makes them far more compelling.

Overall, an often-overlooked Disney gem.

Pros.

The unique feel and style

David Spade for the most part

The voice cast as a whole

The comedy

It is very watchable

Cons.

Spade does get a bit annoying at times

5/5

Reviewed by Luke