Irish Wish: Lohan’s Wish Should Have Been To Redo Her Career

Summary

Lindsay Lohan plays a book editor who travels to Ireland and hangs out with a Saint, yes this is what Netflix has come to.

I enjoy a so bad it’s good Hallmark, or Hallmark like romcom film just as much as the next person, but I have to say, and maybe it’s the quarter Irish blood in me, that this film is offensively bad. It is not 0/5 bad as there was still some jokes to be had at the films expense, but it is fairly egregious. The main reason for this being but the film is given the Emily in Paris treatment, all of the Irish characters are reduced to stereotypes and cheap caricatures, and of course the isle has to be magical because why leave cliches behind. The only way this film could have been more stereotypical would have been if she had her wish granted by a Leprechaun rather than a Saint.

However, the worst crime this film commits is that it’s boring, there were multiple moments where I considered turning off and I watch a lot of these sort of films every year especially around Christmas so I’m used to it. The issue here being that you just don’t care about a lot of the characters, such as they have a long series of side cutaways about Lohan’s characters mother, played by Jane Seymour, that just go nowhere she doesn’t even turn up in Ireland. It is due to how dull and undeveloped these characters are that the dull scenes feel even duller.

Overall, a Netflix rom-com that whilst has a number of so bad it is good laughs also suffers from some incredibly bad pacing and being boring.

2/5

Pros.

It is laughably bad

Lohan tries her best

Cons.

Pacing

It is boring at times

It is deeply offensive to the Irish

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Fly Me To The Moon: Hallmark In Cinemas

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A retelling of the moon landing.

So this rom-com goes quite the way you would expect it to, a couple, Scarlet Johansson and Channing Tatum, fall in love whilst working at Nasa during the moon landing. It is a sweet film and it does have some good moments of sentimentality, however, I have to say I never really bought the relationship between the two leads, the chemistry wasn’t there as it might have been in something like Anyone But You.

Johansson is surely a forced to be reckoned with here, and has a lot of good moments, yet Tatum is not given anything to elevate him. The material is very hokey and almost Hallmark esque in how earnest his character is, he is a small town, veteran, who cares about his job and about Jesus. Nothing wrong with that but it is quite stereotypical.

There is also a certain level of my old pet peeve, yes you guessed it American exceptionalism. With the film having a steady drum beat of USA USA every few minutes, which is fine is that is what you are into but for me it was a little clawing. Maybe if I was American I’d like that sort of uber patriotism more.

There are some good laughs here particularly the stuff with the cat and Tatum’s overreaction to it. Moreover, Woody Harrelson’s government spook is a great villain and has some terrific moments, particularly him singing Fly Me To The Moon at the end of the film that is his finest hour.

Overall, it does what you would expect it to, nothing more nothing less.

3/5

Pros.

Johannsen

Harrelson

A few laughs

Cons.

The chemistry could have been stronger

The uber patriotism

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Lime and Vinegar

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two women, Yiseth Brendlinger and Dalma Llinas, come to clean a house and end up getting stuck there.

A lot of drama can be had from a film where characters are trapped in an enclosed space and are just forced to talk. In many senses far more can happen than in even the biggest superhero film and it is in that sense that this film really crosses between being at times a more light hearted affair and something more akin to a drama.

Both of the leading ladies do a terrific job in making you see them as real people, who are relatable and who you can see yourself in. It could be argued that with lesser actors this film would be less engaging as a lot hangs on their conversations and their chemistry with each other in order to make the film interesting, however, both actors are more than capable here and they really manage to enhance the film.

I found this film able to make me both laugh and feel which is a hard task, as to do one is easier but to do both is far more difficult.

Overall, it is a nice slice of life sort of film wherein your connection to the characters is key.

4.5/5

Pros.

It manages both drama and comedy well

The actors have good chemistry

You care about the characters

It is well paced

It is funny

Cons.

The start was a little slow

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Bad Boys 4: Keep My Captain’s Name Out Your Damn Mouth

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Will Smith and his partner are back fighting crime and slapping men who make jokes about their wives.

Honestly this is Smith’s first major role post slap and I was wondering if they were going to address it, I thought he might defeat the villain by slapping him and then he looks into the camera and nods so that in that moment the audience and Smith are on the same page. No such luck I am afraid.

Personally maybe this is just me, but with everything we know about Smith’s personal life now I find it hard to take him seriously as an action star. I understand this is supposed to be comedy action but I just find it hard to see him in the same light post the smack and since all the stuff with his wife’s affair.

I feel like this film is in a weird sort of limbo as it acts very much like the last film, and is basically just more of the same, but at the same time it seems to know things are different than they were when the last one came out culturally in relation to Smith. I think that if you liked the last film you will like this.

In many senses this film doesn’t feel like it needs to exist it is more just there. The story is okay and it is interesting to consider them as fugitives rather than cops, but it all just feels very done before. Ultimately you know it will end with them defeating the bad guy and clearing themselves and as such there are no real stakes here.

Some of the jokes are funny and there is some fun to be had, but there are also some really unfunny ones and the film repeats these over and over.

Overall, fine nothing more nothing less. Wait till streaming.

2.5/5

Pros.

It is funny

It is watchable

It has some good moments

Cons.

Will Smith isn’t really an action star any more

It repeats unfunny jokes

It doesn’t need to exist

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Poker Face: A Shorter Slightly Worse Knives Out

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A woman, Natasha Lyonne, who can always tell when people are lying heads out on the road to solve crimes. It is such a simple premise you wonder why it hasn’t been done before.

Rian Johnson is a controversial figure, a man of highs and lows, sometimes he makes something very good Looper sometimes he makes something very bad The Last Jedi. His Knives Out films were woefully not of the same quality, with the Netflix sequel being dumber and more distracted. Clearly he was working on other things whilst writing it. As such this series could have either been great or terrible, there was no room for in between.

Turns out life won’t be put in a box and despite my previous statement this is a pretty mixed show.

Now there are some things that it does well Lyonne is a strong and likable lead and you care about what happens to her character. I think if you had got someone who was less affable to do this show then it would have just been bad, as even in some of the harder to get through episodes Lyonne’s charm just about makes it bearable.

The episodes themselves fall into more of a villain of the week sort of thing, though the series tries for a wider overarching plot, for the most part it is oh the lead has tripped over a corpse better find out who killed them. Some of these episodes are good, usually the ones with notable guest stars who get to have fun, but some aren’t. The issue with villain of the week storytelling is that not all the episodes are created equal, some get the guest stars and more time to do interesting things and some are filler, and that is not just true here but in a lot of shows.

The issue with this show is that it can have a few bad episodes in a row before you get a good one and because of that it is a slog to get through.

If you are a Knives Out fan then you will almost certainly be into this show.

Overall, fun at times but mostly slow and predictable.

2.5/5

Pros.

Lyonne

Some of the episodes are fun

It has some good ideas

Cons.

Some of the episodes are dull

It is not as smart as it thinks it is

The ending is underwhelming

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Life and Beth: The Show You Make When You No Longer Have Any Jokes Left About Your Vagina

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Amy Schumer continues to try and cry out for relevance.

I was subjected to the first season of this during a binge day when we couldn’t find anything else to watch and wherein I was eventually outvoted, and whilst a part of me wanted to get up and go for a walk whilst it was on it was also raining and I didn’t have my raincoat so I had to stay and watch it.

As many of you might know I do not like Amy Schumer, she is not funny, her material is that she likes to use people for sex and then talks about her body in a self-deprecating way, it is neither new nor intelligent. What’s more she had sex with someone when she was sober and they were clearly very drunk so in no place to properly consent, she has told this story several times, this is a thing she did in real life. She is a sexual predator, in my opinion, and if a man told a story about how they took advantage of a woman who was unable to properly consent they would never work again, not so for Schumer.

That aside I knew I wasn’t going to like this show going in but as I was forced to watch it I thought well maybe there could be something I’ll like about it, but no. Essentially, what this show boils down to is a worse version of Fleabag, Schumer’s’ character has to deal with grief, as we all have, whilst being a mess and going around and treating people like garbage. It think it is very deep and a comment on life and what it means to lose someone but its incredibly thin on anything other than generic platitudes, but that speaks to the quality of the writing.

Schumer does fair better here as she doesn’t have to be funny, with it being a comedy drama, and believe me she isn’t. I suppose she is a little bit less irritating and obnoxious here than she was in something like I Feel Pretty yet I digress.

Overall, it is sad that a sexual predator, in my opinion, still gets work.

0/5

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Roundup Punishment: Fighting In The Toilets And On A Plane

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A no nonsense police officer, Ma Dong-Seok, tries to take down an overseas casino racket that is soaked in blood.

I enjoyed this film for its mix of both serious action, with fairly high stakes, and also more comedic and light hearted moments. It felt like a homage to classic 80s era American action films like Lethal Weapon in many senses. The film knew what it was doing on all fronts and it knew when to let things get serious and when to draw back for a joke.

The action itself was intense, it felt very full on and visceral, though at the same time it wasn’t super gory, what I appreciated about it was that it was not like an American action film very often a bad guy might take one hit to go down or maybe 3 if he is the big villain but instead this felt drawn out and far more realistic.

This I think is the fourth film in the series and after watching this it made me want to go back and watch the other films in the franchise that I have missed, that was how much fun I had with it. Sadly, I think a lot of people won’t watch this as they won’t want to watch something with subtitles but I am telling you that you are missing out.

Overall, a fun and well done action film.

4.5/5

Pros.

The action

The comedy

The cast

It is a lot of fun

It has some great set pieces

Cons.

It has some pacing issues

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The Fall Guy: The Best Blockbuster That We Have Been Given In Years

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A stuntman, Ryan Gosling, must go through hell and highwater in order to solve the mystery of an actors disappearance and reunite with his lost love, Emily Blunt.

I would argue though it will be a controversial opinion that Blunt and Gosling have better chemistry here than he did with Margot Robbie last year in Barbie. I think the film is made all the better for their relationship being front and centre to the film as the love story aspect really gives you something to root for and hold onto during the film.

I also liked that this film felt like a push back against a lot of the worst trends of recent Hollywood blockbusters, there was no dumb over the top CGI fight, the characters had humour and felt like real people, and crucially there was little to no identity politics. There was a line about toxic masculinity which was played for laughs and said by the villain of the piece to show how it was just another way to manipulate people into going along with her.

This film felt like in many ways the sort of film we used to get 10 years ago, before Hollywood decided to tie its fate to left wing politics and repeat every social justice buzz word they have heard online for points alienating half their audience in the process. You could argue in many senses that Blunt’s character here is a girl boss trope done right, she is in charge yet she also is allowed to have emotions and not be perfect, which makes a change from the self-serious, stoic, no nonsense girl bosses we often see, or the I’m so random iteration of the girl boss.

I would say my main issue with the film was that the second act went on for far too long and became bloated. If it had been better paced the film would have naturally flowed a lot better.

Overall, a solid and fun blockbuster

4/5

Pros.

It is fun

It doesn’t take itself too seriously

The stunts

The characters are likeable

Cons.

The second act is bloated

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Boy Kills World: Bob Tries Out Some New Techniques In The Kitchen

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young man, Bill Skarsgard, goes on a quest for revenge in an odd and absurdist world.

This film feels like it would have worked a lot better as a videogame, in almost every way it feels like a tongue in cheek, silly but also taking itself seriously videogame. As it stands it has problems and won’t work for a lot of people, the main reason for this is because the tone is just so jarring, there are moments where you are like okay this is a comedy and then others where you think it’s a drama, and plenty of films can wed these two things together but not this one, they make it feel tonally like two different films.

The third act plot twist adds to this it takes what could easily have been a pretty straight forward narrative and it twists it into being convoluted and just silly. The idea that the main character is the villain’s son and he has been trained to kill her after being abducted by his master who then wiped his memory of it all, just makes everything start to make no sense at all.

The positives I have for the film is that the violence and the fights are well done and feel very Wick esque, they are quick and brutal and you feel every minute of them. In that vein I wanted to say how both Jessica Rothe and Sharlto Copley stand out here, the former for her strong action skills and how she was able to give a character behind a mask a strong sense of personality and identity and the latter because he always enhances any film he is in.

Overall, though I am a big H. John Benjamin fan even he couldn’t save whatever this was.

2/5

Pros.

The action

Rothe and Copley

Cons.

Tonally it is a mess

The twist

It goes on for too long

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Spy X Family Code White: The Quest For Poo

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Forger’s head off on another family trip.

As a big fan of Spy X Family I was a little upset that rather than a second half to season two we were getting this, however, after watching it I can safely say that though I would have liked a few more episodes this was far more worthwhile than I had expected it to be.

I liked seeing the family come together both in terms of the family unit but also in terms of action, as this is the first time we see Loid and Yor fighting together, when they aren’t pretending to be something else or doing it in a comedic fashion, though I suppose they still don’t know about the other.

I also liked seeing that the promised Loid and Yor romance grows ever closer to happening, as a person who at times could be described as mushy it warms my heart to see Yor clearly having feelings for him. It remains to be seen if Loid has them back but it is still very interesting to watch.

The one area where I would say the film goes off the rails somewhat is with the long drawn out sequence of Anya needing to poo. I understand they were trying something there and with the different animation style I am sure a lot went into it, however, personally I felt like it didn’t fit the style of the show well at all and felt very disconnected.

Overall, a worthwhile follow up to the series but not without its off moments.

4/5

Pros.

The Forger family coming together

The romance grows

Anya steals the show

It is funny and sweet

Cons.

The poop stuff goes on for far too long

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