Love Hard: Make Better Films Netflix It Is Getting Embarrassing

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young woman, Nina Dobrev falls in love online only to later realise she has been catfished, the catfisher promises to set her and this guy up if she pretends to be his girlfriend during the holidays.

When I saw from the makers of Holidate I knew this was going to be bad, much like the previously mentioned film this again has a bad message and iffy morals. By making Jimmy O. Lang’s catfishing character in any way redeemable this film almost feels like it is saying his behaviour is okay, it is not just in case you were wondering. I wish romantic comedies would stop pushing these icky narratives and toxic messages it’s time to move on, catfishing someone is not a valid or acceptable way to try and get a relationship.

Moreover, every line in this film is cringe. By that I mean the film thinks it is so cool and trendy in a lot of the things it says, sometimes directly towards the audience, but it is not. Best case it is saying supposed insightful points that other films have spouted before or at worst it feels like an out of touch executive trying to be down with the kids and failing horribly.

Overall, this is why people think Netflix films are usually trash because they put out far too much content like this.

Pros.

Nina Dobrev is trying

Cons.

The writing is stilted

It is horribly cringe

The romance feels forced

The premise is deeply flawed

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Christmas Inheritance: The Big City Will Turn You Evil

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Highflying CEO to be Ellen, Eliza Taylor, must go and deliver a letter to her uncle in small town America in order to complete her training and take over from her father. Naturally going to this town forces her to see how morally corrupt big city life is and how she has had the wrong priorities all her life.

And so we begin, it is quickly becoming the time of the year where I review Christmas films- the good, the bad and the overly moralistic. This film is somewhere between those latter two, as it preaches the values of ‘real America’, and suggests that modern big city living is evil and causes people to lose touch with their humanity. This is nothing new from these type of Christmas films, and this plot has been recycled over and over again.

The romance here, as they always have to have the big city woman ditch her current boyfriend and find love in the small town, is poorly done. The trope as a whole is not helpful, and here it is particularly unbelievable as the characters have no chemistry so their whirlwind romance feels blatantly fake.

The only reason this film isn’t getting lower is because of Eliza Taylor. Taylor is clearly trying her best to give this role some personality and warmth and that shows, sadly what she is given to work with boxes her in and leaves her with nothing to work with. However, she still manages to be charming.

Overall, yet another samey, questionable Christmas film. Is small town America really this magical, or is this over romanticised in the extreme? Let me know.

Pros.

Eliza Taylor

Cons.

It is the same story you have seen before

The morals

It feels sexist

The central romance doesn’t work

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Home Alone 2: The Highlight Of A President’s Career, Even If He Did Bully His Way Into It

Home Alone 2, Lost In New York is a family Christmas comedy film directed by Chris Columbus. The plot once again sees Kevin (Macauley Culkin), become separated from his parents at Christmas, however this time rather than just being home alone, he is in an entirely different state.

I have long believed out of the Home Alone films that this is the best (though I do also have a soft spot for the 3^rd film as well). The reasons for this are multiple, I think that this film took everything the first film did right and improved on It. An example of this is Kevin’s unlikely friends in the first film he befriends the old man on his street that everyone is afraid of (for no good reason), and here he befriends a woman who covers herself in pigeons. The idea is the same and both friendship arcs do have solid emotion behind them, but the emotional impact is greater here, at least it was for me.

Furthermore, the trap sequence is also improved upon from the first film, with that films final showdown sequence almost looking simplistic when compared to this one. If the traps were you favourite part of the first film you will not be disappointed here.

The one negative of this film comes in how it sets itself up. Kevin is once again seen to be bratty and wishing his family gone, this undoes the entirety of his character’s arc from the first film. The film is self-referential with this and comments on it, but that does not excuse poor writing it just makes it feel lazier.

Another issue I have with the sequel is that the feel good, overly sentimental Christmas message is turned up to 100 and does become a bit too sickly sweet in part; looking at you turtle doves.

Overall, a superior sequel that though an improvement is let down by a few cheap tricks and a lot of bad writing.

Pros.

The improved friendship storyline and its pay off

The improved trap sequence

Tim Curry is always a delight

It is a lot of fun

Cons.

A bit too overly sentimental at times

Reusing the same set up and undercutting the first film

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Christmas Chronicles 2: Sending A Child Out To Do A Dangerous Mission Incredibly Under-prepared, I Am Sensing A Theme

The Christmas Chronicle 2 is a Christmas comedy film directed by Chris Columbus. The plot sees a disaffected rebel elf Belsnickle (Julian Dennison), use Kate (Darby Camp), the girl from the first film, to lure Santa Claus (Kurt Russell), into a trap so that he can steal the Star of Bethlehem and start his own workshop in the South Pole.

I think in many ways this is a stronger film that the first. I think by switching the focus from Santa Claus in our world to us in his it ups the magic and the intrigue and gives the filmmakers a rich world to play in. To that end, I enjoyed this film’s version of the North pole and though the deeper dive into Elf culture was interesting, and something I would like to see more off.

Dennison made for a likeable villain, he was never really a threat and it was always clear he was going to become good in the end. For some this might make him a weak villain, personally I don’t think these films need villains, so I didn’t mind; what bothered me was how predictable Belsnickle turning good was.

Camp is still incredibly annoying; her character is a brat through and through and this makes it hard to care about her. The brother character from the first film is mostly ignored in this, I guess he was busy filming other stuff for Netflix. We are introduced to Kate’s stepbrother Jack (Jahzir Bruno), who makes for a much more likeable protagonist, he even has a nice little emotional arc as well.

Overall, this film benefits from fresh blood and new ideas, it tries to replicate a few things from the first film that fall flat and Kate as a lead character lets the film down, but it is still a flawed gem.

Pros.

Tyrese

Jack is a fun new character

Exploring Santa’s world and his relationship with Belsnickle

Kurt Russell

Cons.

The film tries to mimic the first by having another musical number, however here it does not work

Kate is a terrible lead and is irritating throughout

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Jack Frost: A New Specter To Haunt Your Dreams

Jack Frost is a dark fantasy drama film directed by Troy Miller. The plot follows the aftermath of the death of Jack Frost (Michael Keaton), a musician and family man who dies during the Holiday season. As his family tries to move on with their lives, Jack resurrects with the help of seasonal magic into the body of a snowman to see his son, one last time.

This is a horrifying film for a lot of different reasons. So, I went into this thinking it was a family Christmas film, and though it does share some of those elements: mainly the over sentimental moments and the family focus, it is actually far darker and sadder then that.

I have seen a lot of people who say that the snowman itself is nightmare fuel, and personally though I think it looks bad I would not go that far with it. I think viewed in a contemporary context for the time period it is about on par with a lot of the other CGI puppetry hybrid that existed at the same time.

I enjoyed the films focus on father and son dynamics and thought the ultimate message of the film was sweet and dearly earned, the ending was particularly touching. I think Keaton did a lot to make this freaky looking snowman feel human and allow us to empathise with him.

Overall, I think the core of this film is sweet, well thought out and well intentioned. Though the Snowman himself might not be the easiest to look at thanks to a great performance from Keaton it does touch our hearts.

Pros.

Keaton

The emotion

The ending

Cons.

The snowman itself is off putting

It crosses over into overly sentimental

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Christmas Chronicles: Santa Claus Likes To Risk The Lives Of Children To Teach Them A Hard To Understand Lesson

The Christmas Chronicles is a Christmas comedy film directed by Clay Kaytis. The plot sees two kids accidentally force Santa Claus (Kurt Russell), into a situation where he loses his bag of presents and his reindeer, together they must act to save Christmas.

Much like the other Santa Claus film I have reviewed recently, this film is made by its lead. The kids in this film are actually quite irritating and annoying, the little girl especially, but thanks to the pure magnetism of Russell and the amount of fun he is having in the role you forget about them and begin to enjoy the film.
In that vein this film feels like the best of Russell all crammed together into a slightly under two hour parcel, you have a sing song which is actually quite good, a car chases (in an American muscle car), and of course heart and sentimentality. He really is on top form.

As far as Christmas films go I enjoyed this, annoying kids aside. I thought it was a fun adventure and I had fun watching. Yes, it was a little annoying when at the end of the film Santa revealed that he could have basically fixed everything at the start of the film, but didn’t to teach the kids a lesson, but again the ride was fun even if the ending wasn’t great.

Overall, made good by Russell but far from perfect.

Pros.

Russell

The ride

There were some laughs to be had (though I don’t know how intentional they were)

Cons.

The kids

The ending
3/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Santa Clause 2: Santa Is On Tinder Will You Swipe Right?

The Santa Claus 2 is a Christmas, fantasy, comedy film directed by Michael Lembeck. The plot this time around sees Scott Calvin (Tim Allen), face the prospect of not being Santa Claus anymore after a clause is found within this contract that says that Father Christmas can’t be a bachelor: so as a result of this Jolly Old Saint Nick has to join the dating game and find a wife before the end of Christmas Eve.

The dating plotline in this film is troublesome for a number of reasons. Firstly, it is unlikely that either party could fall in love within such a short space of time, which means it is more likely that Scott is just using her to carry on being Santa Claus. Moreover, Carol (Elizabeth Mitchell), is just expected to uproot her life and move to the North Pole, which seems like a big ask, but hey the film just shows it as normal. Finally, old, fat Santa Claus can’t be with someone of equal footing, no that would not do with the Hollywood standard, of course it only makes sense for Santa Claus to be with someone who could be a supermodel if she chose another profession and she has to settle; what sort of message is that sending?

That aside.

I enjoyed the other plotline of Santa Clause 2, which is while Scott is off preying on vulnerable women, he is replaced by a toy replica Santa Claus who obviously becomes corrupt and evil. It amused me how far the film went in this absurdist direction even having the new evil Santa dressed up in fascist looking attire and creating secret police at one point. As I said in my previous Santa Claus review the dark plot undertones are the best parts of these films.

Once again Tim Allen is a strong lead, and despite the dating plotline being a bit sketchy we still enjoy seeing him on screen; he has a great presences. He very much anchors this film and it performance hinges on him and how you feel about his version of Chris Cringle.

Overall, the icky dating plotline stops this film from getting higher, but I enjoyed Tim Allen and the absurdist nature of the film and it made me laugh quite a few time. A mixed bag ultimately.

Pros.

Evil Santa

Tim Allen

It is funny

Cons.

The dating plotline

The sudden and unexplained character change in the son/ making him an angsty teen

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Santa Claus: Assuming An Identity

The Santa Claus is a Christmas family comedy film directed by John Pasquin. The film sees a business man (Tim Allen), accidentally kill Santa Claus and then assume this identity and responsibilities, meanwhile he is fighting a custody battle with his ex-wife.

I truly do think that Tim Allen makes this film, he pulls of the charming everyman well and when he becomes Santa Claus he plays him with enough warmth and light that it is a near perfect incarnation of everything that entity stands for.

I enjoyed the darker undertones of the story, that you can see just from my slight plot description. I don’t know whether these were intentionally or just an unintended by product, but regardless it gave me something to laugh at during the film; I would guess it was more likely deliberate as these darker moments carry over into the sequel as well (review coming soon).

My one complaint would be that the custody plotline is not needed. There is already a lot going on with Allen’s character transforming into and becoming Santa Claus, we don’t need another fairly generic drama sub plot as well; it just makes the film feel cluttered and bloated.

Overall, this film is a lot of fun thanks in no small part to an excellent performance from Allen as well as a focus on the lore of Santa Claus.

Pros.

The transformation

Tim Allen

The darker and more sinister moments which I found funny

Cons.

The child custody subplot

Pacing issues

The wider supporting cast add nothing

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Fatman: Santa Claus Will Put A Bullet Right Between Your Eyes, Go On, Test Him

Fatman is a Christmas based action film directed by Eshom Nelms and Ian Nelms. The plot sees a budding young sociopath put a hit out on Santa Clause (Mel Gibson), after he receives a deserved lump of coal for Christmas. What follows is a battle to the death between not so jolly Old Saint Nick and hitman Johnathan Miller (Walton Goggins), who has his own axe to grind against ‘the fatman’.

Though I don’t like Mel Gibson, because he is a vile human being, I managed to separate my personal feelings from this film and ended up really enjoying it. I like the inherent silliness in the concept, a hit man trying to kill Santa Claus, I think the film deals with its absurdity well and plays it up to great effect.

The action scenes where nicely done as well and I enjoyed the final fight as well, the ending was unexpected, I thought that the fight was clearly going to end one way, it did not. I always enjoy it when a film deviates from where I think it is going especially so if they do it in a clever way. I thought the final scene, when Santa pays a visit to the kid that put a hit on him was the best scene of the entire film, not only was it incredibly tense, but it knew how to play off Gibson as an actor; the role really does feel tailor made for him.

Overall, though reviews have been mixed on this one, I personally really enjoyed it. I thought it was silly and fun but also a really well thought out action film that capitalised on its star.

Pros.

The role was tailor made for Gibson

The tone is just right

The action

The premise

Cons.

The elf cgi is not good

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Four Christmases: Just Tell Your Parents You Don’t Want To Go Home For Christmas, It Is Not Hard

Four Christmas is a Christmas comedy drama film directed by Seth Gordon. The plot sees a couple’s relationship be put to the test as they have to attend several different family Christmases.

Personally, I never viewed Vince Vaughn as a strong romantic lead. I think he is better suited to the arsehole anti hero roles, like Fred Claus, or the more action/drama orientated roles he has been getting recently, but for a while Hollywood really wanted him to be the next big romantic leading man.

Maybe I am reading this film with a 2020 viewpoint, but the romance narrative is deeply troubling here. Vaughn’s character is often a dick towards Witherspoon’s and yet he is never brought to task over it, she just passively allows him to treat her like dirt. Witherspoon’s character only moment of resistance is when she stands up to him because she wants kids and he seemingly doesn’t; the whole implication of this is deeply sexist. The message of the film is off.

Understanding that this film is supposed to be a comedy film makes it even worse, both in terms of the jokes and there implications, but also the fact of how deeply unfunny the film itself is. Usually Vaughn can make me laugh, but I didn’t laugh once here, moreover, I found the film to reliant on slapstick for its jokes which again didn’t land.

Overall, this is a failure as a comedy film and has a deeply troubling message underpinning the film that makes the ending feel bittersweet and ultimately leading to ruin.

Pros.

It is watchable

Cons.

Vaughn and Witherspoon have no chemistry

It rewards abusive behaviour

It has a deeply troublesome message

The ending is not deserved

It is not funny

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke