Matilda The Musical: Netflix Doesn’t Seem To Understand How To Adapt Books

Summary

A reimaging of the classic Roald Dahl story.

Yes, this is yet another case wherein the original is vastly better than the remake, and I don’t even mean book to film, no what I mean is that the original Matilda film with Danny DeVito was vastly, and I do mean vastly better than this film.

My main issue with this film is that it loses a lot of the cheeky sense of fun from both the original film and the book, this film fundamentally isn’t fun but is instead depressing. Within the DeVito version we never really got a sense that Matilda’s parents were outrightly abusive towards her, yet we get that here. In addition Miss Trunchbull in the original film is a sinister villain at times but also has a core of cartoonish silliness to her that makes her actions seem less outrightly sociopathic and cruel, again this is missing here.

Another thing I disliked about this version of Matilda is the songs. There is no getting around the fact that the songs in this film are not strong, worse yet the film goes out of its way to repeat the same songs or lines from them over and over again to the point wherein you question whether the film is trying to force you to like them.

I will give this film praise for a stellar performance from Lashana Lynch who does make a great Miss Honey, but her performance isn’t enough to save this film.

2.5/5

Pros.

Lynch

It is watchable

It has one or two funny moments, but it is by far not enough

Cons.

Pacing issues

It is depressing and no fun

The songs make everything worse

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Pinocchio: More Disturbing Then It Had Any Right To Be

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The classic tale of Pinocchio, voiced by Gregory Mann, but now with added nightmarish creatures and fascist leaders.

Well this film achieved the impossible, it managed to make the Disney take on Pinocchio, animated not the trash live action, look tame by comparison. That is no small feat considering the fact that the animated Disney film has it fair share of deeply unsettling moments, but this film pips it by having some truly quite disturbing moments. Whether it is Pinocchio’s frequent deaths wherein he goes to an underworld like land and has conversations with frightening looking creatures, in most cases voiced by Tilda Swinton, or in the design of Pinocchio himself that never quite lets you settle down. In all honesty I found Pinocchio himself and the way he looked and acted to be the most scary thing about the film.

Writing this review for you now I can’t honestly say whether I enjoyed watching this film, it was certainly an experience viewing it though I don’t think wholly pleasant. Instead of giving it slap bang in the middle marks I have given it an above average score as whilst a lot of things in the film didn’t work for me or I found a little jarring, I like how far Del Toro pushed the concept and the risk he took with it, the Mussolini stuff he did was really quite daring and funny and fit the film in a way I wouldn’t have expected it to.

The ending will also be a source of contention for many as it is not by any account a happy ending, if anything it is fairly melancholic, it reminded me of the stylings of Tim Burton if that is any indication for you, but hey Ewan McGregor does a great job as the cricket and mostly keeps things light.

Overall, I can’t say I enjoyed the film but it is bold and some of it works really well.

3/5

Pros.

A risky and more adult approach

The setting and time period

McGregor

Cons.

It is incredibly sad

Pinocchio himself is hard to warm towards because he looks unsettling

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Lady Chatterley’s Lover: Netflix Throws Another Book On The Bonfire

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Yet another classic work of British literature is given the Netflix treatment and soiled.

Netflix and for that matter most non-British production studios just can’t ever seem to get right the very British sentiment behind these books, be it this or the works of Jane Austen, the themes and ideas that in many senses are timeless. So what do they do instead? They do what all hacks do they modernise, they take something timeless and they date it in the current year, they make yet another Bridgeton which some people like sure but that is also a million miles away from the spirit of the text.

The central romance, if you can call it that, is incredibly stunted and at times just plain awkward, it is fairly clear neither of the leads have any chemistry with the other, or even seem to like each other, and all of the forced romance scenes comes across as incredibly cold, emotionless and a little silly. I would say of the two Emma Corin has the far worse showing, with this and My Policeman really starting to make me question how they were ever able to get into acting in the first place as they clearly lack talent. A rich parent is probably the answer.

Overall, Netflix needs to realise that they can only push their Bridgeton esque pap so far.

1/5

Pros.

I’m struggling

Cons.

It doesn’t understand the spirit of the text at all

The romance is awkward and cringe

The leads have no chemistry

It is boring and a slog to watch

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Enola Holmes 2: Back By Algorithm Demand

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Enola Holmes, played by Millie Bobby Brown, is back for an all new tedious mystery that you will immediately forget about the second the film ends.

So I will say that this film is watchable, and does have a few good moments. I liked the furthering of the romance between Enola and Lord Tewkesbury, played by Louis Partridge, and thought that it was very sweet and I also liked that Enola is now out on her own and is not still at the beck and call of her brothers.

However, I would say that is where the positives for this film end. Mainly my problem with this sequel is that it is totally unneeded, the mystery is far more dull than the first, you don’t care about it and it all just feels like Netflix were screaming for more of the same. Indeed most of the aspects that worked well in the first film, such as the fourth wall breaking, are turned up to the max here and in almost every case they are pushed too far and to a point wherein they become annoying.

Moreover, though Henry Cavill was a strong part of the first film, here he feels pretty aimless. Maybe that is the point, but they force in Moriarty Holmes’ famous nemesis to try and give him something to do and even that ends up boring. In many sense I feel like this film was forced into production before they had a good idea as to what they wanted the sequel to be and so a lot of it comes off as generic.

Finally, a lot of the commentary and messaging of this film is not as insightful or as fresh as it thinks it is, and instead ends up bring out the same old same old feminist lectures that have been done better before. It comes off as try hard and wannbe, if they are going to give the film a message lets at least have it be timely and fresh.

Overall, a fairly needless sequel.

Pros.

Enola is finally her own boss

It is watchable

A few entertaining moments

Cons.

It doesn’t justify its existence

The commentary is tame and tepid

It can’t find an interesting story to tell

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The Rings Of Power A Rethink And A Changing Of Opinion

Written by Luke Barnes

I want to use this piece to talk about The Rings Of Power, now as some of you may know I reviewed the very first episode of this show and gave it a trashing, however, for one reason or another I decided to give the next few episodes a try and see if the show picked up and not only did it do that but I ended up really liking the show as a whole. In this piece I want to talk about my changed feelings about The Rings Of Power and also the ability to change opinions and have opinions evolve over time.

Many civilised people know that you can have an opinion on something one day and change it the next, however, there are some out there who call you a hypocrite for changing your opinion or for having a rethink of something in a renewed context. These people are silly and their criticism invalid.

Anyway, I had a strongly negative reaction to the first episode of the show, but I found almost all of my issues with the show were fixed entirely in the remainder of the season. The issues with cannon really weren’t as big as many made them out to be and in some case the issues were actually nonexistent, Galadriel, played by Morfydd Clarke, does think she is better than everyone but she is brought down a peg over the course of the season and humanised. Indeed Galadriel ends up being one of the best characters of the show and a lot of that is to do with Clarke’s performance.

Moreover, what the show does with its wider cast really brings the show together in a nice satisfying way, the finale pays off almost all of the mysteries of the season and gives each character their due. In this regard I particularly like the twist reveal of who Sauron is and how they end things with him.

I suppose the point of this piece is to say I was wrong, The Rings Of Power is a good show and you should check it out.

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House Of The Dragon: The Black Queen

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

War finally breaks out.

Sorry readers that summary is in some ways misleading, as you see therein lies my big issue with this finale. The whole season has set up this big war between the Blacks and the Greens, but do we get to see any of it? No, we don’t. In essence this whole episode is just yet more set up and filler.

I suppose you could claim the dragon battle counted as some action, but frankly after all the slow talking scenes and set up I was expecting far more action in the finale. I thought Rhaenyra’s order of no fighting until she gives the word was basically the writers way of saying let’s leave it all to next season as it allows for the episode to drag out the threat and prospect of war without actually delivering much of anything.

There are still some good scenes, including the dragon fight, as don’t get me wrong this isn’t a bad episode it is just sorely disappointing.

Overall, yet more teasing.

Pros.

Matt Smith’s performance

Showing the childbirth scene and pushing that boundary on screen

The dragon fight and what it sets up for the next season

Cons.

It is disappointing

The season long build up doesn’t lead to much of anything

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House Of The Dragon: The Green Council

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Viserys, played by Paddy Considine, finally dies and sides are formed across the nation.

I enjoyed this episode for the most part, it really does feel like we are getting close to the action and to the start of the war, with the opening shot of it maybe being fired in the final moments of the episode.

I liked all the scheming and backstabbing and thought that a lot of things that had been set up earlier in the season really came into their own and made the episode work. In many ways this episode does all that a penultimate episode of a series should it sets the stage for the finale.

Something that I was less keen on in the episode was its efforts to humanise Alicent, played by Olivia Cooke, who by this point is turning into one of the major villains of the show. Now I am not saying there is anything wrong with a nuanced and layered villain but sometimes you just want to see them be evil.

Overall a good set up episode for the finale.

Pros.

The ending

The set up

Bringing in elements from across the season

The excitement to come

Cons.

The show needs to just let Alicent be a villain

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House Of The Dragon: The Lord Of The Tides

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Families are brought round the dinner table to try and mend fences

I thought this was a slower episode for sure but I did like the fact that it highlighted Rhaenyra, played by Emma D’Arcy and Alicent, played by Oliva Cooke used to be friends. There are moments in the episode where you almost think maybe this is all going to work out okay, maybe they can put their difference aside and be friends again, but then you realise the show that you are watching.

I thought Ser Vaemond felt very villain of the week like and it was clear from the offset that something bad would happen to him. However, I can’t complain too much as this storyline did give us an immensely satisfying Daemon, played by Matt Smith, moment in which he cuts Vaemond head in two and also allows for Viserys, played by Paddy Considine, to have one last strong moment and go out on top.

Overall, a fun episode but certainly not the best of the series.

Pros.

Daemon splitting heads

Viserys going out on top

Reminding us of the friendship between Rhaenyra and Alicent

Cons.

It is a bit slow

Sir Vaemond felt like a villain of the week

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Luckiest Girl Alive: Exploiting Pain

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The struggles of a young woman, played by Mila Kunis, as she makes her way in the world.

Netflix needs to take a long hard look in the mirror releasing this only a few weeks after Blonde, both films which can be viewed as exploitative and as fetishising sexual violence and female misery. I have read to a degree that some think this film could have done with a trigger warning, or to have not gone as hard as it did, but I would argue that the real issue is that the subject matter wasn’t handled well at all, lacking any kind of grace rather being instead a brute force act of shock. I can understand to a degree the director choosing to do things the way they did to show the true horrors of life for a young woman but at the same time I would argue that this verges into a new form of torture porn along the way.

Additionally, unlike other reviewers I don’t think Mila Kunis was the right lead for this film. Though she does have some acting talent which has been shown more in her recent dramatic work I just don’t think it is strong enough to carry this film. If anything the weakness of Kunis’ acting abilities are only brought to the fore here and from that she is crushed under them.

Moreover, the pace moves so breezily by everything that nothing really has a chance to sink in or to mean anything at all. The film aims for these lofty high art goals of replicating the human condition but it comes nowhere close as the technical failings mean it is hamstrung from the opening minutes, the pacing is truly quite bad being both overly long and rushed at the same time.

Overall, yikes Netflix stop profiteering from other people’s grief and pain. Lets hope this new form of grief induced torture porn ends early so we aren’t subjected to more films like this.

Pros.

It tries to tell an important story

Cons.

It is bleak throughout

Kunis isn’t strong enough to carry it

The pacing is awful

It fixates and fetishizes grief and pain far too much

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Rosaline: Reducing Shakespeare To Make Bland Tasteless Garbage

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The untold story of Rosaline, played by Kaitlyn Dever, Romeo’s ex-girlfriend.

Yikes another group of old people trying to right how they think Gen Z talk. This film is deeply unfunny on multiple levels and more often than not crosses over into irritating territory, I didn’t laugh once whilst watching.

Moreover, the titular heroine of Rosaline was deeply unlikeable for most of the film and behaved like a brat who used people for her own ends. Not only did this make her detestable it also meant that she needed to be redeemed by the end of the film in a narrative sense, yet the film just thought that it could cram all of her apologies and soul searching into a 5 minute sequence then move on which makes the whole thing feel incredibly shallow.

In addition to those glaring issues the film also has Rosaline using men for sex and then just chucking them treating them more as bodies than as people, and whilst I acknowledge that there is a long cinematic tradition of male characters doing this, in modern times it is seen as wrong to do so. As such if Rosealine’s character was male and behaved the same way their would be an outcry against this film yet it is okay because she is a woman? Surely for things to be truly equal if anyone regardless of gender just uses a person for their body and doesn’t even treat them like a human being it deserves to be called out as wrong. To ply further scorn, the film also includes an incredibly reductive stereotypical gay best friend character, played by Spencer Stevenson, which feels like it belongs in a film from at least a decade ago.

Overall, a terrible film that no one will fondly remember.

Pros.

A nice central romance

Dever is trying her best

Cons.

The lead is awful throughout

It is unfunny

Some of its characters are reductive stereotypes

It has nothing to say and isn’t a clever play on Romeo and Juliet

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