Hoppers: Pixar Is Trying To Indoctrinate Your Kids

A young woman decides to make her grief everyone else’s problem.

So this film shows that Pixar learnt absolutely nothing from previous failures and that it is going to continue to be preachy and force in left wing messaging into kids films. The oddness here is the messaging would clearly go over a child’s head, some of it is high concept so they are just trying to pander to the parents who have been forced to see the film. The whole film goes on and on about environmentalism, so get ready for that.

The film itself would be quite distressing for kids, you see a number of scenes that play upon the fact that the lead’s Grandmother recently died and you have that emotional manipulation from Pixar. You also have scenes of small animals looking in danger or being distressed to traumatise little kids if that was not enough.

On top of that the lead is incredibly unlikeable. She makes everything about her, she wants to keep the glade open, she feels angry, she is grieving etc. She uses people and the Mammal King in order to achieve her own ends but we are supposed to root for her. It shows you the modern Hollywood morality where they are like ‘she has a righteous cause who cares if she is a good person she automatically is as she cares about what we care about’.

Don’t let the focus on talking animals trick you, that is just a gimmick to push political messaging.

1.5/5

Pros.

The Mammal King

Some of the sillier aspects

Cons.

The political messaging

The deeply unlikable lead

The emotional manipulation

The scenes of animal distress

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Goat: Life Post The Right Side Up

Summary: On its surface this film looked generic, the idea of a sort of off brand Space Jam, looked readily apparent, and we shared that view via our socials. However, the film actually has some charm and manages to have moments that do make you smile.

That is not to say it isn’t a generic sports animated film, it is you have seen things like this before many times over, however, it is not soulless as it may first appear from the marketing.

A point to be made about the film is that it is strongly reliant on internet meme and social media culture so if you are older or not the most active online then you may be confused by a number of the references.

Overall, a watchable animated film with some charm.

3/5

Pros.

The charm

Its watchable

Its well paced

Cons:

It’s repetitive structurally

You have seen it before

It is too similar to Space Jam

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Looney Tunes The Day The Earth Blew Up: Back In Action

Summary: Daffy and Porkie fight aliens and their own character flaws in a gum soaked adventure.

It was nice to see a return to 2D animation, it has been far too long, and seeing it reminds us all of the horrible soulless feel of CGI animation. More films should be made in this format.

It was also enjoyable to see these characters back, Looney Tunes as a brand might struggle with relevance amongst modern kids but it is still just as charming and appealing as ever.

The story was very much how you would expect it to be, an alien is trying to take over earth for a silly reason and the gang have to stop him, only to find out that that he was trying to save earth. Then they work together, but one does not watch a Looney Tunes film for the story rather that gags and the slapstick both things this film gives you in equal measure.

Overall, a good return to cinemas for the Looney Tunes gang.

3.5/5

Pros.

The animation

Seeing the gang back in action

It has a few funny moments

It is well paced

Cons.

Bugs absence is felt

Not all the gags land

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http://ko-fi.com/anothermillennialreviewerSummary: Daffy and Porkie fight aliens and their own character flaws in a gum soaked adventure.

It was nice to see a return to 2D animation, it has been far too long, and seeing it reminds us all of the horrible soulless feel of CGI animation. More films should be made in this format.

It was also enjoyable to see these characters back, Looney Tunes as a brand might struggle with relevance amongst modern kids but it is still just as charming and appealing as ever.

The story was very much how you would expect it to be, an alien is trying to take over earth for a silly reason and the gang have to stop him, only to find out that that he was trying to save earth. Then they work together, but one does not watch a Looney Tunes film for the story rather that gags and the slapstick both things this film gives you in equal measure.

Overall, a good return to cinemas for the Looney Tunes gang.

3.5/5

Pros.

The animation

Seeing the gang back in action

It has a few funny moments

It is well paced

Cons.

Bugs absence is felt

Not all the gags land

If you enjoyed this review , then please head over to my Patreon to support me. All film reviews are free, with no early access, sponsorships, or content locked behind paywalls. If you value independent coverage of the entertainment industry, your support over there helps to keep it going. Become a member on Patreon below

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SpongeBob Search For Square Pants: Laying Brickwork

Summary

I was a fan of SpongeBob when I was younger but have to admit I have lost touch with it a bit as I’ve aged. I didn’t know if I would just be able to watch this, or if I wouldn’t get it. Turns out it fit like an old glove.

I always wanted more of a focus on the Flying Dutchman back in the classic era so I really enjoyed that he got his moment here. I would have liked to know how he became the Flying Dutchman but I thought the amount of new information we got about him was great.

For the most part it was funny and enjoyable SpongeBob that reminded me why I liked it as a kid, however there were a number of off colour and oddly sexual jokes that I found to be uncomfortable in a kids movie. SpongeBob and Patrick got their asses out too often as well which was also uncomfortable.

Overall, I liked the SpongeBob Mr Crabs storyline and thought it was good we finally got to see more of the Flying Dutchman, but some of the jokes made me feel a little uncomfortable.

3/5

Pros.

SpongeBob and Mr Crabs bond

The focus on the Flying Dutchman

Genuinely funny moments

Cons.

The weird sexual humour

It has pacing issues

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Marvel Zombies: The Woke Zombies Of Disney Marvel

Summary

Marvel Zombies, a cool comic book, becomes yet more girl boss Marvel fare.

In the classic Robert Kirkman comic run, the Zombies were made up of people like Reed Richards, Ant Man, and Captain America. Here they are made up of Okoye, Wanda and Carol Danvers, can you see what is going on.

Perhaps this will help.

We begin this series following Ms Marvel, Kate Bishop and Riri Wiliams, we then meet Blade, Yelena, and the Red Guardian. Following that we meet Shang Chi and Katie. Do you see it yet. Two things are happening here, firstly it is a girlboss show which ends with Riri, Kamala and Wanda, and secondly that there are close to no popular male heroes from before phase four, amongst the ranks of the living.

They also can’t quite seem to decide what sorts of zombies they want to have, intelligent zombies that can talk or mindless zombies that can’t. You’ll notice that zombie Clint Barton and Zombie Cap don’t say a word, whereas Okoye has many a monologue. Do you get it yet.

I feel like I am just repeating myself at this point. One thing I can say with certainty is that Disney + killed Marvel dead. Whoever is in charge of Marvel’s output on Disney + needs the sack.

0.5/5

Pros.

It has a few good moments that lean towards horror

Cons.

The characters are all phase four wash outs

It is a girlboss show to it’s core

It makes pops at legacy characters

It has awful Marvel humour in it

It ruins a great comics run

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Diary Of A Wimpy Kid The Last Straw: Forced Conflict From A Writer Out Of Ideas

Summary

Greg and his family are back and this time he has daddy issues for no particular reason.

So I thought I was done with the horrible animated Disney + Diary of a Wimpy Kid films and yet here I am.

This time after embarrassing his dad at church, Greg is going to get sent to a military school unless he gets his act together. Cue a series of schemes to try and appear like he’s doing good at school which all go wrong, who could have seen that coming. This whole conflict is weird for three key reasons, one this conflict between Greg and his dad hasn’t been there before, the fact they have the author of the books writing these films and he just forgot that little detail is shocking, secondly is the fact that it is pretty clear to see Greg is accident prone not bad which makes the dad look unfair, thirdly Rodrick is actually bad and he just lets him get away with it. As such you end the film thinking that the dad is an insecure man child, who wants to punish his son for his own failings, which probably isn’t how the film wanted him to come across.

In the images on Disney+ for the film you see them wearing Christmas hats and it is presented as a Christmas film however, there really isn’t a mention of the season anywhere so it doesn’t really come across as a Christmas film. So if that’s what you are looking for then stay away.

All of my points about Greg being a goody goody from my last review also still stand here, it is quite sickening.

Overall, less cringe than the last one but the story and the conflict feels forced.

2/5

Pros.

It is short

There is one or two good laughs here

Cons.

It is boring

Greg is devoid of personality

The conflict feels forced

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Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Christmas Cabin Fever: Worse Than Book Burnings

Summary

I returned to the Disney version of the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid franchise and was a bit sick.

So lets get one thing very clear, Greg is a good kid but also a fundamentally flawed one with his schemes often getting him into trouble, he is not the sort of kid to give away the present he most wants to help those in need, the idea was so American and sickening that I almost turned it off. This idea of the great moral virtuoso is fake kids don’t behave like that.

In addition this film above all others in the space made me hate current day animation and long to return to the two dimensional hand drawn kind of years prior. Everything about this was so ugly, the models how they moved around the space, the way they interacted with the environment, the environments themselves were hideous.

Moreover, Greg’s families personality was just one emotional state the entire film, there was no nuance or development for his family in anyway they started off the film one way and ended it the same.

Overall, this is some of the most soulless animation you might ever see.

 1/5

Pros.

It is short

Cons.

The animation is ugly

It feels fake and overly moral

The family has no personality

It is not funny or relatable  

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Zootopia Two: China To The Rescue

Summary

Disney Animation could not get more generic if it tried.

The first film felt paper thin with the idea of the predators vs the prey metaphor working as a stand-in for race relations, everyone could see the very obvious message of not judging others by what they are but rather the content of their character. Yet this film feels the need to push a worn out and frankly reductive metaphor further forward as it has nothing to say otherwise.

In many ways this is the very worst kind of sequel not one that exists due to a need to, but rather one that is just done for profit. Everything feels a bit more low rent, the humour a bit more stale, the voice cast sound like they are going through the motions, they have the woman from Abbot Elementary basically being an animal version of her character from that show, it all feels very low effort.

Finally wherein Disney films of old used to have a clear moral message that the film would teach over the course of its runtime, there is nothing like that here, maybe it is the reliance of shades of grey rather than actually having established heroes and villains or the need to make everything morally complex that leads to this issue it is hard to tell.

Overall, this is just more animated slop that brings down the tone of the whole genre.

1.5/5

Pros.

It is watchable

It has a few unintentional laughs

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A Very Merry Pooh Year: Bring Back Hand Drawn Animation

Summary

Pooh and friends celebrate the holidays.

I needed a pallet cleanser after all of the horrible three dimensional animation I have seen recently for a project I was helping a friend with, so I thought some classic hand drawn animation was just the ticket. Seeing this makes me think about what we have lost, hand drawn animation has so much more heart and soul, even when it combines with three dimensional characters or elements.

I like that this is not just a Christmas film but rather a film that reflects the whole period, there are not many animated New Years films so that was  a nice change. I thought that this special did a lot to not only make it feel like Christmas but show how each individual character interacts with the season. The Christmas magic really gave the sweetness of Pooh an extra something.

I would challenge you to watch this special and not even feel a little bit Christmassy, it shows the true meaning of the season and has a wonderful message that is relevant no matter who is watching it or when.

3.5/5

Pros.

It is sweet

It is novel

It is nice to see the different character interact with Christmas

The animation

Cons.

It is slow at times

It has almost a melancholy feel at times

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Animal Farm: Netflix Is Almost Fully Slop At This Point

Summary 

Animal Farm for the TikTok generation.

Let’s not pretend that many of the people this film was aimed at had ever even read the book, one needs to say that many of the mindless drones who watched this film are a different farm animal from the ones primarily focused on in the film and that is sheep.

The fact the film featured a TikTok inspired dance sequence and shopping sequence shows you the sickening lack of subtly this film was going to approach the themes of the seminal book with. If you cannot tell yet this was not made for intellectual people.

Then they cast Seth Rogen in the role of Napolean, now Rogen is detestable for a few reasons, he is a self-hating Jewish person who spends an awful lot of his time apologising for being what he is, he has questionable involvement in the alleged crimes of James Franco, and also is the acceptable male buffoon character, whenever one of these left wing comedy tv shows/films are made. It is okay to laugh at him the show/film wants you to see how much of a loser he is as he debases himself. Rant over, whoever thought casting him here was a good idea needs firing, the central role of Napolean calls for someone with range who can convey the journey that the character is going on, perhaps a Shakespearean actor who can feel truly menacing, not Rogen who feels about as menacing as Shaggy from Scooby Doo. To say he lacks dramatic range is the understatement of the year.

They also cast a man to play the male role of Snowball, though of course this is done in the modern parlance wherein this is a man who thinks of himself as a woman, and Netflix thinks they are pushing boundaries by casting him, in a male role. This is stunt casting and little else.

On top of all that horrendousness you have the fact that the animation is the kind of horrible sterile CGI animation that everything is these days, the sort that makes you feel like it is made by robots rather than people.

Overall, everything about this endeavour feels soul crushing.

1/5

Pros.

You can use the noise of it to make sure you haven’t suddenly gone deaf.

Cons.

The animation

Rogen

It is brash garish and horrible

The political statement it makes

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