Star Wars Visions: The Twins

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A pair of Sith twins work to create a weapon that can destroy entire star systems but then turn on one another.

This episode was disappointing. It was not bad so much as it was deeply average, and I feel like they could have done so much more with it. I am a big fan of Studio Trigger and so I was very excited for this episode which only made the disappointment worse.

I think the issue with this episode is that the plot is played out. How many times have we seen two siblings turn on each other and battle now? To many times to count, and that goes outside of Star Wars as well. It was entirely obvious that the brother was going to turn out to be the hero.

Moreover, there were also weird gaps in logic that I found to be jarring. An example of this would be that the twins can breathe in space, but their robot butler can’t? It makes no sense and when you start thinking about it, it just ruins the episode more and more.

The one thing I will compliment this episode on is that I enjoyed how into exploring kyber crystals it was, and I think that we need more of this from the Star Wars universe.

Overall, I was expecting a lot more and was deeply disappointed.

Pros.

Exploring kyber crystals

The battle scenes

The ending

Cons.

It was predictable

The plot was cliched

The gaps in logic

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Star Wars Visions: Tatooine Rhapsody

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young band must perform the show of their lives otherwise Jabba The Hutt will have one of their member killed.

This may be the worst episode of Star Wars Visions, though as of the time of writing I am only three quarters of the way through. This episode is just so disappointing mainly because it doesn’t feel like it fits into the Star Wars universe at all, swap out a few character skins and references and this could be any other anime. It felt jarring.

All of the characters bar Jabba were kids, and I don’t understand the reason why? For the central foursome it makes sense I suppose but why was Bobba Fett pintsized? It makes no sense.

Moreover, the whole episode is built around these big concert scenes where the band perform, this in an off itself is not a red flag, however, when the band actually starts to perform it quickly does become an issue. To be blunt the music just isn’t good, and as it is so pivotal to the episode having it be bad makes the episode infinitely worse.

Finally, the central cast of characters are annoying and whiney which makes it impossible to form any kind of attachment to them and again kneecaps the episode.

Overall, one to skip when binging the series.

Pros.

It is short

A few interesting visuals

Cons.

The songs are bad

The characters are annoying

It makes no sense that almost everyone is a child

It doesn’t feel like it fits the brand

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Star Wars Visions: The Duel

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Some time after the sequel trilogy a lone wanderer comes across a Sith lord and her army of stormtroopers terrorising a village, a battle ensues.

This was an incredibly strong start to Star Wars Visions, both artistically and in terms of story. The concept of the episode is interesting, and its setting post sequel trilogy is rife to explore; so far we have seen very little set after the Rise of Skywalker. I would love to see more of this world and its inhabitants, in that regard I think there should be another Star Wars show exploring Ronin and how he came by all those other Sith kyber crystals

Moreover, I thought the animation style was beautifully done and distinctive. I enjoyed the roughness of it and thought the hard edges and minimal use of colour really helped to form a strong personality for the episode.

The fight scenes were easily the highlight of the episode particularly those between the Sith and Ronin towards the end were each was pulling off crazier and crazier moves in an effort to best the other.

Overall, a beautiful start to the series with a keen personality and edge.

Pros.

The art style

The fight scenes

The ending

The tease for what comes after the sequel trilogy

Cons.

We need more.

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What If: Killmonger Rescued Tony Stark?

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

In this what if scenario Tony Stark is not taken prisoner by the Ten Rings and is instead rescued by Killmonger and becomes a pawn in the latter’s quest for revenge.

I feel like this episode really shows just how much the premise of this show hamstrings it. This is not always the case as some episodes veer off in very different directions such as the Evil Doctor Strange or Marvel Zombies one, but in the case of this episode having to tie into the films and the preestablished cannon really becomes a problem. We see moments from several different MCU films but rather than feel like its own thing this episode just feels as though it is trying to recreate those moments just slightly differently. Originality seems in short supply on this one.

Moreover, none of the characters are advanced in any meaningful way by this changed timeline which seems like a huge missed opportunity. In the Doctor Strange centric episode the idea is what if the hero turned into a villain, here we have a Killmonger that has an entirely different plan and is far more successful than he was in the main timeline MCU and a Tony Stark who didn’t have to escape his captors and become Iron Man. There is a lot this episode could have done with that set up, yet the characters are exactly like how they are in the MCU anyway with very little personality difference.

Overall, this episode really highlighted the confines of the show.

Pros.

The battle scenes

It is watchable

Cons.

The character progression is nonexistent

It sticks to the films too much

It is limiting

The ending again feels too early

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Prisoners Of The Ghostland: Nicolas Cage Strangeness Taken Too Far

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A drifter, Nicolas Cage, is tasked with venturing out into the haunted Ghostland in order to bring back a local officials daughter.

As many of you know I am a big fan of Nicolas Cage, I am a big fan of the aesthetic of this film, but as a whole it just doesn’t work- at least for me. There is far too much genre mashup going on here, so much so that none of it works. The western elements are offset by the Samurai elements and the more cerebral parts made lesser by the gory realities. This strikes me as a film that couldn’t decide what it wanted to be.

Moreover, Cage is used minimally here. There are a few experiences that get close to what some refer to as ‘full Cage’ but that is never nurtured into anything of substance, he achieves far more in Willy’s Wonderland in which he barely says a word.

Also I found this film to be oddly and needlessly vulgar. There is a moment when one of Cage’s testicles gets blown off, why? Other than a gross out thrill what does that achieve? Weirdness within a film can work but weirdness for weirdness sake is never good.

Overall, an interesting concept executed poorly

Pros.

The concept

The visual aesthetic

Cons.

It underused Cage

It doesn’t make a lick of sense

The mismatch of ideas hurts the film in the long run

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The Witcher Nightmare Of The Wolf: Netflix Needs A New Animation Style

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Vesemir, voiced by Theo James, becomes wrapped up in a frightening series of monster attacks that seem different to anything he has ever encountered before.

Why do all of Netflix’s animated offerings look the same? I am not saying the art style doesn’t work, but I am saying that I want more diversity and variation within their animated output. I don’t like the fact you can’t tell this apart from Castlevania.

Moreover, the storyline here is so trite that I question anyone’s need to watch this film as they have seen it all before. Hated group has to work with those that hate them and then those that hate them turn on them it is so played out. I am a big fan of the Witcher books/games/TV show and as such I know that this storyline could have been done better. The evil mage who is anti-Witcher is so clear cut the twist reveal of oh actually she is evil doesn’t work as you already knew it, and it feels like the film gives it away early on.

Whatsmore, the tag at the end that showed Geralt felt ham-fisted. We all know where the story is going, we all know that Geralt is coming, however stuffing him in here feels like badly done fan service.

Overall, deeply bog standard.

Pros.

The fight scenes

A deeper look into Witcher lore
Theo James as Vesemir

Cons.

The end sting

The animation style and its overuse

The bland story

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Kate: Mary Elizabeth Winstead Strikes Gold Again, Is There Anything She Can’t Do

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An assassin, played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead, finds herself fatally poisoned whilst on a job, so with mere hours to go before she dies she decides to go on a quest for revenge.

I will give Netflix props for this one. Finally they have managed to produce an action film that pushes beyond their mould of generic, forgettable punch them up fare and actually manages to be a solid genre film.

I enjoyed the stylistic choices present within this film; I think you can feel the Leitch influence here clearly: there are many scenes in this film that reminded me of Leitch’s Atomic Blond from a few summers ago now. The choice of setting and how Japanese culture impacts on the film also goes along way to shaping it into having a personality. Despite being Western this film does feel at times like a love letter to Japanese martial arts films.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead is a tremendous action lead and does a lot to make this film as good as it is. Winstead plays the character with just the right level of warmth to get you to care without sacrificing any of the badass moments or threat. As the film progresses you begin to care about her character and you become connected to her story, which is a big achievement for an action film and an even bigger one for a Netflix action film.

My one criticism would be that they waste Woody Harrelson. Harrelson is a mentor of sorts to Winstead’s character and does end up having a fairly important role in the narrative, however, despite this he is not given much to work with and often only has sort scenes of him sitting or talking, which doesn’t correlate to making us think of him as a badass assassin like Winstead’s character. We needed more of him in action.

Overall, The best Netflix action film in years.

Pros.

Winstead

The Japanese influence

The Leitch influence

The action and the comedy

Cons.

Harrelson is wasted

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What If: Zombies?

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

This was easily the best episode yet. I say that both in terms of the concept and execution. I think many of the other episodes, not all but a large amount, have felt too similar usually because they try and adapt certain MCU films, however this feels entirely different and all the better for it.

I am a huge fan of Robert Kirkman’s Marvel Zombies run and I have been waiting for them to adapt it. This episode does justice to that storyline through and through and does not shy away from pulling some narly twists and reveals. I thought the Wanda reveal was especially good in this regard and I am surprised Disney allowed them to do it.

Moreover, I felt like this episode gave some much needed screen time to some of the smaller characters in the MCU. For all the focus Bruce Banner and Peter Parker get Hope Van Dyne also gets her moment in the sun. Hope has felt like a relatively separate MCU character confined to the Antman films and not given much to do outside of them, yet here she is leading the team and we get to see her interact with the other Avengers which makes for a number of heart-warming and emotional scenes. In that same regard I am glad we got to see more from Sharon Carter in this episode as well. The wider universe does not seem to know what to do with her character having her be a love interest in Winter Soldier and having her be a sub-villain in FTWS. Here they get her right however she is a badass spy and that is all she needs to be.

My only complaint would be that the episode feels too short and cuts off leaving us wanting more. Hopefully season two will come back to this universe.

Overall, the best episode yet.

Pros.

Marvel Zombies

The emotion

The darkness

Highlighting secondary, often forgotten about, characters

The fight scenes and tension

Cons.

We needed more

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Yakuza Princess: Waking Up Confused In A Brazilian Hospital We’ve All Been There Right?

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A man, Jonathan Rhys Myers, awakens in a Brazilin hospital with no memory of who he is with the only tie to his former life being a samurai sword.

This was a fairly boring samurai inspired action film. Not only was it boring but it is also deeply played out, the plot has been done time and time again and in a much more coherent way than this. Rhys Meyers is clearly just here for the money and even though he is not bad his character has so little substance to him that he ceases to be a person after a while.

Moreover, there is a location issue with the film that becomes more and more distracting as the film goes on. There are some scenes that are clearly supposed to be in Japan, or at least that’s how I interpreted them, and then there are others set in Brazil and the two switch back and forth and it becomes confusing what is happening where. Maybe it was my reading of it that was wrong, but I was confused throughout.

The action for the most part is also a wet blanket, never being able to tap into any of its influences well or deliver anything of substance.

Overall, a weak, bland and forgettable action film.

Pros.

It is watchable

A few interesting moments

Cons.

It is bland

The action is weak

Rhys Myers adds nothing

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Spectre: Bond Defeats His Targets By Putting Them To Sleep

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Bond, Daniel Craig, is back to uncover and defeat a conspiracy close to home and one that links all the Craig era bad guys.

So I will open this by saying I am not a big Bond fan, I have seen a fair few of them and they have their moments, but to me they were never as good as the Bourne films.

This film was painful to get through, whoever edited it should be fired. An opening that drags on and on before anything even remotely interesting happens, followed by a story that meanders at nearly every turn seems almost like it is going out of its way to bore audiences. Self-indulgent would be the word I would use for it.

Moreover, it is painfully clear to see that Craig does not want to be there. He has the dead-eyed stare of a man who deeply regrets signing a contract but must now follow through. When you compare how he is in this film to the other Craig era bond films, or any of his other performances he just seems so turned off, so disengaged which almost becomes infectious as the film progresses.

The mystery is painfully dull and seems to add more complexions to itself simply to pad out the runtime. The villains are generic and are nothing we haven’t seen time and again before in previous films. The only character that actually got my attention was Dave Bautista’s Mr Hinx, he was an interesting character that could have been an intimidating villain for Bond, but no they killed him off.

Overall, this is why the series needs to retire.

Pros.

It is watchable

A few neat visuals

Cons.

It badly paced

The mystery is awful

No one bar Bautista looks like they want to be there

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