The King’s Man: France As A Country Just Doesn’t Exist I Guess

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A prequel to the Kingsman films set during the First World War.

Going into this I had heard mixed things, and after seeing it I come to you with mixed tidings. The film does somethings right it is by no means a bad film, but it also has several major issues that stop it from truly excelling.

Firstly the good. I liked the films anti-war stance showing the needlessness of the slaughter and how to die for one’s country is not noble or heroic but rather tragic and needless. I thought as far as social messages go it was very well delivered and important.

Moreover, the new characters here all work well, Colin Firth and the rest of the gang don’t make any sort of time travel like cameos here so we are given a fresh cast, of which Ralph Fiennes is the standout as a grieving and over protective father who has turned to outward passivism to protect his family from the world.

I also thought the comedy mostly worked, the jokes often made me chuckle, there was nothing side splittingly funny but I enjoyed it for the most part. However, the one noticeable exception to that rules comes with Rhys Ifans Rasputin who relies mostly on physical and gross out comedy for his comedic moments, these come across as unpleasant to watch and if anything succeed too well in grossing you out.

Continuing with the negative, the Rasputin sequence is far too dragged out and lasts for a good half of the film, you will be surprised to learn he is not the big bad of the film despite how prominently the film features him. As you might assume the film suffers from a terrible pace and long outstays its welcome.

Finally, two smaller nit picks that bothered me about the film. France is never mentioned in the film despite having a large role in World War I, which if I were French I might find insulting, why they decide to leave the French out is beyond me. Furthermore, I also dislike how the sequence is done after the death of Fiennes’ characters son, played by Harris Dickson, he moves on far too quickly for the scene to mean anything and it quickly loses any emotional impact it could have had.

Overall, better than some have made out but not quite good either.

Pros.

Fiennes

The anti-war stance

The comedy for the most part

Cons.

The pacing

The gross out humour

Leaving out France and not giving the character adequate time to morn.

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The Book Of Boba Fett: Stranger In A Strange Land

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Temuera Morrison returns as Boba Fett, with Fett now becoming a Tatooine crime lord.

For a show supposedly about the gritty underworld of the Star Wars universe this was disappointing. I understand it is a Disney property so we were never going to get anything too hardcore, but the toned down bloodless violence really hit me here and put me off. The violence does not feel real or impressive as it is so clearly forced into a family friendly lens that it is afraid to show anything.

Furthermore, as many people have commented the pacing in this episode is not good, for two very different reasons. Firstly, not a lot happens there are some flashbacks and a few minor events here and there yet this is stretched out for just over half an hour, the pace moves so slowly it feels like they are trying to kill time. Secondly, and somewhat contradictory the episode needs to be longer, though as I say nothing really happens something could have, had the flashback sequences been given proper time to explain Fett’s backstory rather than no doubt splitting it between episodes to fill time, then this episode could have been better.

Finally and perhaps worst of all the look of some of the alien races herein look like cosplayers trying there best to win a convention competition rather than makeup effects, prosthetics and design that properly reflect the budget of the show.

Overall, a deeply underwhelming start to the series.

Pros.

Morrison is trying

The western feel is well done

Cons.

The pacing

The alien design in live action

It is too short

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Hawkeye: So This Is Christmas?

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Kate, played by Hailee Steinfeld, and Clint, played by Jeremy Renner go head to head with Kingpin, played by Vincent D’Onofrio, and his forces in an effort to save Kate’s mum, played by Vera Farmiga.

I am very mixed on this finale, on the one hand you had some nice scenes between Kate and Clint, they finally started to feel like real partners and both Renner and Steinfeld really nailed the emotion in these scenes. Moreover, the big confrontation between Clint and Yelena, played by Florence Pugh, was executed well, Yelena’s rage turning into a gradual understanding was shown well by Pugh and I would like to see more of the two in the future I thought they worked well together.

However, on the other hand I didn’t like the Echo, played by Alaqua Cox, storyline very much, it all felt very rushed, and if they did bring Kingpin back just to kill him off then honestly that is a slap in the face to the fans from Marvel and one I think they would regret immediately. I am hoping D’Onofrio comes back for the Echo series because right now I can’t see a reason to watch it.

The action in the finale was also just okay, I liked the trick arrows though in the end a lot of them ended up feeling samey or ridiculously over the top, I get that it is a comic book show but this world does have some basic rules of logic to stick to.

Overall, the positive moments slightly outweigh the bad, though not enough to stop this from being the weakest Disney + series from Marvel.

Pros.

Pugh

The emotional scenes between Clint and Kate and Clint and Yelena

A few good jokes

Cons.

Kingpin

The end credits scene no one wanted

Echo

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Matrix Resurrections: Taking Everything That Worked And Flushing It Down The Toilet

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Yet another franchise is brought back from the dead only to be dissected, demystified and reinvented in a new trendy way, without seemingly understanding what made the first few and its later sequels, to a lesser extent, work.

The first ten minutes of this film gives you enough reasons to turn it off. The dialogue is terrible, this is a problem for the whole film, and seems to think it is saying something deep when actually a lot of the deeper philosophy of the series seems to have been carved out of it. Pair this with a group of new characters that look, act and feel like cosplayers doing their best to make a fan film and you are given your first red flag.

To make matters worse the whole meta idea of Neo, played by Keanu Reeves, being a games developer who made the Matrix as a game and in this world everyone knows about the events of the trilogy not as events that really happened but as sections of a popular game is just awful. In this early part of the film they make funny meta comments about how WB is forcing them to make a sequel to it, and about various elements from earlier films, this does not come across as funny or deep it comes across instead as smug, pretentious and up its own arse. They also manage to throw in a good number of left wing talking points during this early section of the film seemingly for no reason other than to be trendy and have certain parts of Twitter praise them.

Honestly the way this film recontextualises the other films it makes them borderline unwatchable, and hence forward I will pretend like this film doesn’t exist.

The only reason it has got a one is because Reeves is trying and is allowed to have some fun with the role.

Overall, please save your money.

Pros.

Reeves

Cons.

It ruins the previous films

It is too meta

The writing is awful

The new characters look and feel like cosplayers

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Hawkeye: Ronin

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Forces close in around Clint, played by Jeremy Renner, as the prospect of getting home in time for Christmas becomes more and more remote for him and the series reveals its big bad.

We got him folks after seemingly weeks of talking about him Vincent D’Onofrio’s Kingpin is here in the flesh. We only get some grainy phone footage of him so no doubt any memorable moments will happen next episode but it proves that we are getting the Netflix Marvel characters appearing in the MCU.

I thought the best thing about this episode for me was Florence Pugh’s Yelena. Yelena was not only the breakout star of Black Widow she is likely to be the breakout star of this show too. We get to see her pre and post snap and see how that affected her and are also given a really interesting scene between her and Kate Bishop, played by Hailee Steinfeld, the two have a lot of chemistry.

As I said in my review for the previous episode the Echo plotline is certainly the weak point of the show. Alaqua Cox has not done enough to make us invested in her character and honestly unless the final episode pulls something fairly spectacular out of its hat her series might be the first Marvel series I skip.

Overall, my takeaway is more Yelena and less Echo please.

Pros.

Yelena

The mac and cheese scene

Kingpin

Kate and Clint feel like a team

Cons.

Echo

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The Amazing Spider-Man Two: The Sinisterness Of Sony

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Peter Parker, played by Andrew Garfield, tries his best to defeat the handful of villain thrown at him as Sony tries desperately to set up the Sinister Six.

I returned to this film in the days post No Way Home to see if it was as bad as I remember it being, and honestly it wasn’t, it is by no means good, but it certainly has its moments.

I think this film can be split into two halves, one of which I will focus heavily on and the other I will quickly discard. To be discarded is everything with the blue skinned Electro, played by Jamie Foxx, my, my Sony really dropped the ball with him, who thought that this is what the character should look or be like. That was all bad. Effects, acting, everything.

Now the other half that I will focus on as I think this was the redeemable part of the film, the Green Goblin, here played by Dean DeHaan. Now I want to lead with a big preface here, I think by and large DeHaan was miscast, however he did his best with it. He was never going to live up to Dafoe and he was only really there as a means to set up the Sinister Six, they are sinister because they are so forced in. All that aside I did buy the fallout between his character and Garfield’s Parker, I enjoyed their rivalry and thought the whole scene between him, Parker and Gwen, played by Emma Stone, was magic. Really it is that scene and Garfield’s response to it that manages to save this film for me.

I know I sound like an Andrew Garfield stan at this point, and if I were ever to meet the man I would probably be embarrassed at how much I sing his praises but he is just magnificent here and I would say off the three Spider-Men actors he is easily the best one at playing the character. Hopefully Sony gives him another film to continue his Spider-Man arc.

Overall, Garfield and Stone are silver linings, but Sony being themselves and everything with Fox’s Electro really drags this film down.

Pros.

Stone

Garfield

The emotion

Cons.

The Sinister Six side plot

DeHaan is badly miscast

Everything about Electro

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XXX The Return Of Xander Cage: Vin Diesel Needs To Stop Living In The Past

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A forced attempt to revive the XXX franchise, and to give Vin Diesel another franchise outside of the Fast And The Furious to slowly run into the ground, Groot doesn’t count.

Honestly this film made me embarrassed for all involved, truly this film shows the rock bottom of Hollywood’s unoriginality as it brings back a long forgotten franchise for what? Because they are terrified of making something new and original most likely.

Vin Diesel is playing the same incredibly hollow and manufactured tough guy character that he always plays, yet here it feels especially desperate as though he is trying to cling to his fading stardom and former franchises to keep his head above water. He brings nothing to the role of course, but if you like how he normally is in every role then you will probably like him again here. The only other person who can give him a contest for weaker performance here is Ruby Rose, who baffles me in why she is still cast? What does she bring to a film other than being remarkably difficult to work with? Please let me know.

The plot is terrible and contrived and feels like it was written by people simply putting together buzz words and saying the word explosion over and over again. However, no one is watching this film for its plot.

Overall, a very weak action film with no reason to exist beyond being one last desperate gasp for a forgotten franchise and a lead running out of leading roles.

Pros.

It is so bad you have to laugh at it

Cons.

Diesel

Rose

The plot

There is no reason for it to exist

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Spider-Man No Way Home: Who Is Coming Through That Portal

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Peter Parker, played by Tom Holland, finally faces some consequences for being Spider-Man.

Spoilers ahead.

This was a good Spider-Man film and probably the best of the Holland run so far, but was it the best Marvel film of the year….. No that to me is still The Eternals. I know…. I know….

I will get the things I don’t like about this film out of the way first, they really aren’t major, the first thing was I didn’t like that Aunt May, here played by Marisa Tomei, was given the great power great responsibility line, because that means the chances of seeing Uncle Ben in the MCU are shot. Secondly I didn’t like that the film went out of its way to make the villains likeable, of course in the end they broke bad, but for the early parts of the film it genuinely felt like the film didn’t have stakes as Peter easily beat them and then they were fairly nice with him, however this changed midway through.

Now on to everything that worked. I liked, though it will make me sound like a sadist that Spider-Man was finally broken in this film, in the Maguire and Garfield runs both of their Peter Parker’s had already faced major traumas by this point in the run so it was nice to see Holland be given that. I think this added to the emotional impact of his performance and really gave him something to work with, the ending of the film is fairly glum yet it feels earned and it fits with the character and I think that is something to be praised.

Moreover, the film did indeed bring back Matt Murdock, played by Charlie Cox, which was brilliant to see and made me very excited in the cinema. However, what I think people will be more excited for is the fact that yes both Garfield and Maguire return in this film, to varying degrees of goodness. Honestly I think Garfield is outstanding here, he steals the scene every time he is in it, his version of Peter Parker shines the brightest in this film and the broken, angry and deeply emotional Spider-Man that he plays here is a nice take on the character.

In terms of the wider MCU this film does a lot of expanding, however I do wish the film had left it more open ended. In the end all of the multiversal collapse is reversed, or at least so we think, and things seem neatly tied up, I thought it would have been far more interesting if the film hadn’t gone this way.

Overall, a strong film and one that is bound to be a crowd-pleaser.

Pros

Cox

Garfield

Maguire

The emotion and suffering of Peter Parker

Cons.

Making the villains a bit too likeable

Aunt May’s with great power line

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Hawkeye: Partners, Am I Right?

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Kate, played by Hailee Steinfeld and Clint, played by Jeremey Renner, are assaulted on all sides and must fight for survival.

I do think this episode is continuing the trend of the last and is heading in a better direction for the show, that is less tied down with teen angst and dysfunctional families and is more interested in expanding the adventure and seeing how that connects to the wider world.

In that regard this episode finally brings back Yelena Belova, played by Florence Pugh, after months of rumours and leaks. Sadly, Pugh isn’t given much to do before quickly being rushed off screen, I suppose she will be developed more in later episodes, also for those of you waiting for Vincent D’ Onofrio’s return as the Kingpin you will be waiting a while longer.

I thought the high point of the episode for me was seeing Kate and Clint bond. We get several nice scenes between the two of them that do land in a satisfying emotional way and that do make you feel warm inside.

I think the series needs to do something better with Echo, played by Alaqua Cox, as right now she is not in anyway likeable and is if anything actually quite annoying, they need to do something to make her more empathetic towards the audience, otherwise she is going to become another Captain Marvel.

Also the start of this episode is quite slow as it returns Kate to her family and has them have a long drawn out scene which honestly is the worst part of the episode. As has been a constant during my reviews of this show I will say again they need to move away from the family drama because honestly it is dull.

Overall, a better episode that marks continued progress in the right direction however I do wish they would leave the family drama out of it.

Pros.

Bringing back Yelena

The heart

Kate and Clint bonding

Cons.

Echo

The family drama

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Total Recall: One You Want To Forget

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The film deals with idea around memory and supressed lives coming to the front, and no it doesn’t have any of the cheesy fun of the Arnold Schwarzenegger version.

I hadn’t seen this film since I first saw it in cinemas all those years ago, and much like the subject of this film I must have had my memories supressed as I didn’t remember it at all, then I watched it again and all of a sudden the memories came back to me and I remember why I had forgot it. This film is aggressively average.

Colin Farrell is fine here but he is not allowed to have any fun in the role at all, and the film as a whole takes itself far too seriously. The Schwarzenegger version wasn’t a comedy by any means but it was silly enough to make it an entertaining watch, whether that was deliberate or not, this film does not have that campy charm.

Honestly this film is just a hodgepodge of generic science fiction cliches and manages to do nothing even remotely interesting.

Overall, erase these memories.

Pros.

It is watchable

The visuals are reasonably sound

Cons.

Farrell is bland

It is generic

It is on for far, far too long

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