Maple Valley Christmas: The Christmas Rom-Com Every Incel Needs

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The unlikely love story of a rancher and a property developer.

I think in many ways this is an incredibly cliched Christmas rom-com, it did nothing new, everything was incredibly predictable and the ending could have been seen coming from a mile away. It is by no means a good film.

What saves the film to a degree for me is the chemistry between female lead Peyton List and male lead Andrew K. Walker, both of them gave good performances, particularly List, and appeared as quite a genuine and believable couple on screen.

However, in the quality of their romance lies another problem of the film and that is some quite toxic elements. These can best be found in two scenes where Walker’s character uses straight up incel logic and negging to get List’s character to apologies to him and behave how he wants. These scenes are quite problematic and do take away from the enjoyment of the film quite a bit.

Overall, it has some good moments but the incel vibes drag it down.

Pros.

List

The romance

Cons.

The incel vibes

The pacing

It is incredibly generic

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The Woman King: Revisionism

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The story of an all-female warrior unit that fought to protect the Kingdom of Dahomey.

I thought this film was at times a slog to get through. I know that historical epics are often on for a long time and feel like a mammoth task to watch, but this film just seemed to never end. I think there are a lot of scenes which could have been cut from this film that would improve it and make the pacing better.

Moreover, I didn’t care for the historical revisionism that was in play within the film, with the fictious lead character, played by Viola Davis, trying to preach the evils of slavery to the King, played by John Boyega despite the fact that in real life Dahomey played a large role in the slave trade. To me this felt like the film was trying to virtue signal and rewrite history rather than deal with troublesome truths.

Additionally, a lot of the reviews I have read for this film praise its action, but I thought that the action actually looked quite bad. This can be seen to come down to two things, firstly that the sword hits never quite seemed to land and were often a few miles off, and secondly the choreography was just all over the place often challenging in baffling ways what people will believe to be realistic for a tale with real people not superheroes.

I would say the cast was a saving grace for the film. Lashana Lynch and Viola Davis both had a number of great moments and delivered instantly memorable performances. Both of their characters felt fully rounded and interesting to get to know.

Overall, a historical epic that has some interesting moments but mostly misses the mark

Pros

Davis

Lynch

Cons.

The fight scenes

The historical revisionism

The pacing

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Holiday Rush: Moving From A Mansion To A Large House, A Tale Of Poverty

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A single father, played by Romany Malco, must get his family through a tough time in the lead up to Christmas as they go from haves to have nots.

A lot of these low budget Christmas films that I have been watching recently have mostly left me cold, but this one was slightly, and I do mean slightly, above the rest.

The main reason for this elevation is Malco as the leading man, not only do we root for him but we also really buy into his struggles. Part of the reason why Malco’s character in this film works is because he is so relatable and humble. He never comes off as smug or self-righteous as often many of the characters in these sorts of films do, but instead he feels like a family man who will do anything for his kids.

The plot has been done before and there are no new surprises or subversions thrown in, it very much is what you see is what you get. The ending is also exactly what you would think it would be and in that regard I am not complaining as I thought it was fairly fitting, but throughout the rest of the film it does become somewhat tediously obvious.

Overall, a slightly better than average low budget Christmas film.

Pros.

Malco

The ending

A few funny moments

Cons.

It is predictable

The child actors/ teen actors are awful

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Big Mouth Season Six Overview: The Lows Of Life

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Hearts are broken, families are changed forever, and a new hormone monster is born.

I was eagerly awaiting the new season of Big Mouth, it is one of my favourite adult animated shows and is usually consistently good. This season is good however, it is also far sadder than I was expecting it to be, yes primarily the comedy is still there and the jokes are funny enough to keep you laughing through all the sad, but I thought there was quite a lot of heaviness to this season of the show. Though I suppose that is reflective of life.

I enjoyed the theme of change and reconciliation this season, I thought that in a lot of ways it felt very natural and worked in many of the characters arcs. I think the show continues to delve to new emotional depths despite all of the rather gross out gags.

I only had two real issues with this season, firstly that Lola had way too much screen time and secondly that the Nick’s Grandfather storyline was given far too easy a tying up. Regarding the former, I think that though Lola has interesting moments and certainly still has some areas of exploration open to her character’s journey, often she is used in far too one note a way and the storyline she is given here shows this to the nth degree. In terms of the Nick’s Grandfather storyline I think that for the most part it is very bare bones and lacks a lot of the nuance and depth the show is known for, but also I thought wrapping it up simply by having the characters saying I love you to fix everything is lazy writing.

Overall, a good season on the whole but one that is surprisingly sad.

Pros.

The nuance

The sombre tone

Jay’s storyline

Andrew’s storyline

Cons.

Nick’s Grandfather is overused and underexplored

Lola is given too much screen time

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Weird The Al Yankovic Story: Never Stop Chasing Your Accordion

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A film detailing the supposed life of Weird Al Yankovic, which is also a stand up of modern Hollywood biopics.

This was one of my most anticipated films of the year, and now that I have seen it I feel somewhat disappointed. Don’t get me wrong the film is still a lot of fun and there are a number of good jokes that come about as a result of the parody, but there are also a number of problems with the film that stop it from ever being truly great.

The chief issue for me is the fact that because the film is trying to cram in so many different references and call backs to other famous biopics, and different types of biopic at that, that often the comedy of the film can range far too broadly and not land, I think the comedy is far more miss than hit. Another thing that bothered me about this film is that it leaves a lot of the best of Weird Al’s work out, maybe I have been spoilt by other musical biopics that hit you with maybe one too many songs, but here I found it was far too few.

The film is redeemed in a lot of ways by its performances, Daniel Radcliffe once again proves that he has fantastic comedy chops, Evan Rachel Wood is a scene stealer as Madonna and deserves her own spin off film and finally Toby Huss is great as Al’s disapproving dad.

Overall, fun but not as strong as it could have been.

Pros.

Wood

It’s a lot of fun

Radcliffe and Huss

The ending

Cons.

It barely features any of Weird Al’s songs

The comedy is more miss than hit

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Christmas In London: Small Town America Is Replaced With Quaint Small Town London

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Exactly what you would expect from a Hallmark film called Christmas In London.

Despite most of the cast being British themselves you wouldn’t know it with a collection of awful accents, and one good one. The only good accent in this film was Will Sharp doing an American accent, which to me sounded quite convincing though to an American ear may sound just as poor as a lot of the other actors trying to do various different British accents with no level of success.

I was rather unsurprised to find the usual collection of cliches and cultural stereotypes being put forward here, in many senses this film is ignorant about British people and British culture but I would expect nothing less from it.

The main pro I have for this film is that I found the central romance to be convincing which is high praise for these sort of films were very often the romance feels incredibly forced. I found myself rooting for the couple in the end, which again is more than I can say for a lot of other bad Christmas films.

Overall, not good by any means but certainly not the worst.

Pros.

It is watchable

It has a good central romance

The characters mostly come off as likeable

Cons.

The British stereotypes

The bad accents

The pacing

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We Need A Little Christmas: Why Not Just Let A Stranger Into Your Lives?

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A recently widowed single mother, played by Erica Durance, struggles to connect with her son, however with the help of a friendly neighbour, played by Lynn Whitfield, she is able to get through to him and have an enjoyable Christmas.

Yes, I have started watching bad Hallmark Christmas films. Though Christmas is still a while off yet, it is never too early to inject a little Christmas joy into your viewing habits.

That aside this film was aggressively average, not only did nothing interesting happen throughout the entirety of the film, but also there were so many plot holes that I fell down one and have never gotten out of it. The main one that irks me is that even in small town America, where everyone is supposed to know each other and be friendly, I doubt that one would let a stranger so intimately into their lives so quickly, let alone their child’s life as well.

There is also some subtext in this film about single mothers being incapable that I didn’t like, you don’t have to scratch too far beneath the surface to see the traditional family values schtick which feels woefully out of date. Also there is a pro-military vibe that really comes out of nowhere and which makes this film feel quite conservative, which personally I am not about but that is a personal preference I suppose.

Overall, a decidedly meh Christmas film that falls apart the more you think about it.

Pros.

It is watchable

It is unintentionally hilarious

Cons.

The single mother bashing subtext

The strange pro-military aspects

The mountains of plot holes

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Raw: A Different Side To University Hazing

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young vegetarian medical student, played by Garance Marillier, develops a taste for human flesh after eating part of a rabbit during the hazing process at her university.

I think in so many ways this film is a triumph, I enjoy that it is not fully a horror film as even until the end there are also dark comedy aspects to the film that made me laugh. However, when viewing this film as a horror film it certainly falls within body horror more than any other genre, though an argument could be made for psychological horror as well I suppose. I think when considering this film as a body horror film it feels like a modern update to the early work of David Cronenberg, with a slight tinge of Eastern influence as well. I think if gore is not your thing then definitely give this one a miss, although I would say the gore never crosses the line into gross out territory.

Additionally, I thought that Marillier was a breath of fresh air in this film, feeling both deeply relatable in terms of her university experience, bar the cannibalism, but also somehow ethereal and myth like. I think you would be hard pressed to not like any of the characters here as they are all fairly easy to warm to.

Overall, a fabulous film.

Pros.

Marillier

The body horror

The relatability, feeling both real and fantastical at the same time

The ending

The dark comedy

Cons.

Some slight pacing issues

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Raymond And Ray: Burying A Body In Multiple Senses

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two brothers, played by Ethan Hawke and Ewan McGregor, go on a road trip to bury their abusive father.

I enjoyed this film quite a bit, the nuance of the narrative and the idea of complicated father son relationships spoke to me and I liked how the film handled it and how each brother found closure in their own way.

In terms of a sentiment side of things I thought the film didn’t really have anything new to say, none of its philosophies haven’t already been explored in full. However, despite the plot of the film being quite humdrum I think the performances from both leading men more than make up for it. Hawke and McGregor both go on long journeys with their characters that feel both natural and by the end earned, I would be hard pressed to pick a better performance out of the two of them.

Another thing I think the film does well is balance out its comedy with its drama, making sure to keep the tone just right and never venturing into one or the other too completely.

Overall, thought it is nothing new the performances and character journeys keep this film engaging and enjoyable.

Pros.

Hawke

McGregor

The tone

The character work

Cons.

It is nothing new

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Andor: Nobody’s Listening

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Cassian, played by Diego Luna, continues to plan his escape from prison, meanwhile his friend Bix, played by Adria Arjona, is tortured by the Empire for information.

I am starting to find these three episode arcs to be quite tiring at this point. The Cassian prison storyline is for the most part dull and uninteresting, and to make matters worse it just feels like it keeps getting stretched out, the escape could have at least started in this episode but no they had to push it till next week.

I found the wider Empire stuff more interesting, I am enjoying seeing how they are dealing with this early form of the Rebellion and are starting to realise more and more that this is a serious threat that needs to be dealt with.

The Mon Mothma, played by Genevieve O’Reilly scenes are also quite dull, but I won’t spend too much time talking about this as I have covered it in previous reviews. We can only watch her chat to people secretly at dinner parties so many times before it gets dull, and we have already reached that point.

Overall, quite a dull episode.

Pros.

Vel’s back

Andy Serkis is having fun

It sets up the prison escape for next week

Cons.

It is too slow and the three episode arc structure is starting to harm the show

Mon Mothma needs to do something other than just be constantly chatting to people at dinner parties

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