Love Lies Bleeding: Thelma And Louise Did It Better

Summary

Kind of like Thelma And Louise.

So this film was not going to be for everyone, that was kind of the point. However, I like crime films so I thought I would give it a try, even if the trailers left me cold. This was a mistake.

So the film wasn’t terrible and does have good stakes and a mostly compelling story, but I think that in many senses this film tries too hard to be different and in doing that isn’t really what anyone wants it to be. Mainly this is evidenced as the film has shifts in tone, one minute they’ll be something very intense going on and then a few minutes later it’ll be something more trippy and light hearted, or as light-hearted as you can get in a crime film. My point is that the film does not have one consistent tone throughout, which as everyone knows is a detriment to any film.

Another thing that will be off putting to potential viewers is that this film is smug and seems to think that it is deeper and more ground breaking than it actually is. In my opinion the reason the film suffers from this is because we mythologise directors particularly when they come from the indie circuit, look at the hype an Eggers or Aster could get for a project, as such and after the massive amount of praise and in a sense fandom Rose Glass got after Saint Maud there was no way she was not going into this with a high ego. Hence, she has bought her own hype thinking this film is some important trend-setting thing when as I said above Thelma and Louise kind of already did a lot of this stuff a long time ago.

Finally I didn’t buy the chemistry between the leads. I thought both did a fine job as there characters, however, I didn’t believe they were a couple or had feelings for each other or really anything like that. What makes this so much worse is the fact that it is a big part of the films narrative and it is important to the film working as a whole.

Overall, a film that suffers from a lack of charm, tonal consistency and an overinflated sense of self. Though to some this may become a cult classic.

Pros.

It has an interesting premise

The style of the film works well

Cons.

The central romantic pairing doesn’t feel believable

It has a smugness to it

The tone is a mess

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, customised film recommendations to suit your personality and tastes, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Godzilla X Kong: I Miss The Time Before CGI

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

They still haven’t learn the lesson of, if you are making a monster-verse film ditch the humans.

So I think that to perfectly encapsulate this film I’ll describe the first 10-15 minutes of it for you, Kong is fighting some creatures and is hurt there is something happening in the hollow earth, there is practically no dialogue at all during this section instead it is just Kong making various noises.

If that sounds appealing to you then probably leave now as this review is from the point of view that found that tedious. I like monster movies where it is just them having a crazy battle and there isn’t much more to it then that, when Godzilla thinks he’s won there is Rodan and it all kicks up a notch. I don’t think we need the monsters to have emotional arcs, I don’t think we need Kong searching for a family. Personally I just want to see Kong smash not be broody but hey that’s me.

Moreover, the humans are dull, you have some bland chosen girl storyline and a mum, Rebecca Hall, whose only two defining characteristics are that she is smart and that she is worried about losing her child, she is nothing more than that and has no further personality. In many senses you could see this was written by men who struggle to write either female characters or meaningful ones at least as Hall is given nothing to work with here. Brian Tyree Henry comes back from King Of The Monsters which could have been good but they just make him the comedic support, which honestly feels a little racist. A prominent POC character who has no personality, again like Hall’s character, outside of oh he’s a podcast nerd, and they make him into a joke to be mocked by all the other characters.

Finally when you get to the moment you were looking forward too, after looking at your phone at least 3 times to see if it was almost over, there is no soul. When Godzilla and Kong team up to fight the Monkey with the whip, again very little development or backstory, and Godzilla in a white camo, even less development and backstory, it just descends into a bland CGI fest that makes you fondly remember the older Japanese Godzilla films and think does CGI actually make third acts better.

Overall, bland and mostly in offensive with one or two good moments.

2/5

Pros.

Mothra gets proper attention

One or two moments where you care

Cons.

It is bland for the most part particularly the third act

The human characters shouldn’t be there

There are a lot of caricatures and not a lot of characters

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Civil War: Guess Who The Bad Guy Is

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A civil war breaks out in the US but the thing that will kill you is not the air strikes or the bullets but the incredibly obvious message that is being beaten into your face until it’s a pulp.

What shocks me the most about this film is that it was made by a British director, normally it is the American’s that put their politics front and centre and think that the Red vs Blue struggle makes for interesting viewing for those far from their shores, it doesn’t we don’t care, but no here it was a Brit.

Alex Garland as far as I am concerned is a hack, Ex Machina was okay but really nothing to write home about, then came his messy and pretentious foray with Netflix, then Men another statement film that came and went without anyone caring about it and now this. There is talk that he is going to give up directing after this and all I can say is thank God.

Before I get into it, can you guess what the message was, go on I’ll give you a minute though you won’t need it……………

If you guess that the clear Trump stand in right wing American’s are bad for the sheer fact of existing, and that it is as much a comment on how divided America is right now as it is that the right wing should just go away and everything will be better. Believe me I am no fan of Trump, I am as a non-American who has no interest in US politics thought the guy was a bad joke that shows what happens when you underfund your schools, but this strawman argument is beyond ridiculous. The whole point of the film is to be controversial but not in the sense that it is going to take shots at the left and the right, no in the sense that it goes oh look at how extreme the MAGA crowd is boy aren’t they bad, an obvious statement to make, and then takes a victory lap to bask in how profound that message is.

Overall, the film industry will be a better place without Alex Garland in it.

1/5

Pros.

The action is interesting

Cons.

The message is so obvious

It is pretentious and smug

It is incredibly obvious

No one cares about an election that happened 4 years ago now serving as the very obvious inspiration for a film

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

The Silver Surfer No One Asked For

Written by Luke Barnes

This piece will talk about Marvel and the recent Fantastic Four casting news. A moment before we get into it, I know the female version of the Silver Surfer exists in the comics, minorly, and I know this is not in the main universe but rather an alternative timeline. Neither thing changes my point.

Remember a month or so ago when Bob Iger said that Disney was going to do a pivot and focus a little bit less on the message, or something like that, I remember it and I met it with cautious optimism, but now I am beginning to question whether I was dreaming that and if it ever happened. The news that inspired the current piece is that Julia Garner is playing a female version of the Silver Surfer in the upcoming Fantastic Four film, not gender flipped.

What bothers me about this is not the fact that even with CGI the actor looks nothing like the character from the comics she is far too small for it, but rather that this is what Marvel are leading with. Why couldn’t they just give us the Fantastic Four as they normally are with the regular Silver Surfer and Galactus and then bring her in later. Why did they have to present the news as if she was the Silver Surfer, with a suggested gender flip. I think the answer is obvious.

At the risk of sounding cynical Kevin Feige doesn’t get it, many people thought when Victoria Alonso stepped back the gender/race swaps and the subversions of classic stories would stop, but no. Personally I believe that this is bigger than Alonso and I think it is Feige himself pushing this through because you have to believe Bob Iger doesn’t want this especially with the way it went down online.

I think two things are at play here, firstly Feige or someone high up at Marvel studios didn’t like how male skewing the team was, as they have always been and been popular as, so they decided they needed to add another woman to the cast in order to make sure no one called them an ist or so such like that. Secondly, I think Marvel are aware how this will go down and are trying to hate farm it for attention, with the idea that all publicity is good publicity as even with the casting announcements I have not seen anyone talking about this film online. Maybe they thought they would bring it back in some way, the outrage would get interest. I don’t know but I will say this there is a reason they didn’t lead with the well known and well liked version of the Surfer that fans wanted, they may try and say that they are saving him for something or that oh you’ll get both but I personally think the way they announced it was a clear attempt to hate farm and get attention with an unpopular announcement. It looks like it worked.

If you enjoyed this piece, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, customised film recommendations to suit your personality and tastes, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Drive Away Dolls: Incredibly Sexualised Lesbians

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two young women, Geraldine Viswanathan and Margaret Qualley, travel across the States to find themselves and deliver a rather compromising package.

I want to preface this review by saying that I have never been a fan of the Cohen Brothers, though their films are lauded I only ever liked Inside Llewyn Davis. Here we only get one half of the directing duo and I have to say that is a deeply average film.

At the risk of offending, this film makes lesbians, both of the lead characters are, out to be sex crazed. Whilst a lot of films have done this with men over the years, so why not women is a valid point, but I would say that it is reductive. In the case of Viswanathan’s character they try and do more with her and develop more of who she is, her backstory and her hopes and dreams, whereas with Qualley’s character sex is all she is. I am a sex positive person and have no issue with any character being sexual but Qualley’s character is nothing more than that. Watch the film and tell me any character detail about her other than she likes sex, go on I’ll wait. She opens the film doing it, travels cross country doing it at every stop and then engages in sex with her friend turned girlfriend at the end of the film. I just think it would have been nice to get to know the character with her clothes on and as more than just a sexual object for the lesbian gaze. I think that the characterisation of the leads will make for an interesting research paper one day.

That said I think this film can get quite political at times, as you would probably expect. I think as with a lot of cases in modern Hollywood it is surface level, its commentary lacks any kind of wit or deeper engagement, its just yes right wing politicians are bad and its up to liberals to punish them and take them down. It is so nuanced that you would have to read copiously on the topic to be able to understand just a tenth of what they are saying, not.

The main pro I will give this film is that it has a good sense of humour. Beanie Feldstein has a decent number of humorous moments which make the film more bearable.

Overall, a paper thin film that struggles to entertain or be relevant.

Pros.

A few funny moment

It is short

Cons.

It over sexualises Qualley’s character

The political commentary is thin

It is boring and fairly predictable

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Fire Kathleen Kennedy

Written by Luke Barnes

This piece will talk about Star Wars and the clear differences between Star Wars from a John Favreau and Dave Filoni view and Star Wars under Kathleen Kennedy’s purview. Yes I am aware that she signs off on everything as studio head but I am referring to the Filloniverse as it is known vs everything else.

To get to the brass tax of it this article was inspired after catching up with the first few episodes of the new season of The Bad Batch and then reading an article online about the Acolyte. In both of these things two very different things are being done, on the one hand you have characters that fans have come to know over a long period of time and lots of appearance from well liked characters and on the other hand you have something very new without known characters. Now a few prefaces, I am not saying in John and Dave’s stuff there isn’t new characters there are, there are simply a lot of returning ones as well, and I am not saying outside of the John and Dave stuff there is no recurring characters in the rest of the shows there are, just these feel more forced, I am also not saying there shouldn’t be entirely original stories.

I personally think of these two approaches the one favoured by John and Dave is the right way forward as it expands Star Wars and gives us new characters but does so in a way that feels like they care about the characters they already have and care that fans like them. Whereas outside of John and Dave Kathleen and co seem to want to wipe away everything the fans care about killing off fan favourite characters and wanting to move to entirely new periods in cannon, not to tell interesting new tales but so they aren’t shackled by cannon and so they can stuff the cast with as much diversity as possible. There is a sense that John and Dave understand that Star Wars is for everyone and have strong male and female characters, look at Dinn and Bo-Katan, whereas Kathleen wants only women to watch and so pushes Rey over all the other characters in the sequel trilogy, makes Reva the main focus of the Obi-Wan show and cast the Acolyte tobasically be all women. It couldn’t be clearer to see that Kathleen and her ilk and Lucasfilm hate the male fans who make up the majority of the Star Wars fan base and most likely thinks of them as some unwashed bigots who they can try and take money from whilst calling them names. However, it is clear to see that this isn’t working. The Acolyte is already hated, Obi-Wan didn’t make the numbers in the way they wanted it to and the sequels…. Well there is a reason we haven’t had a numbered film in a goodly while.

Whereas again in the John and Dave sphere The Mandalorian has been Disney plus’s flagship show, The Bad Batch has a dedicated fan base and Ahsoka often trended on X, people want their shows whilst looking at things like the Acolyte and just seeing more of the same messaging and fan hate that ruined the sequel trilogy. Who knows maybe the Acolyte will become another Andor a breakout hit despite who is producing it but somehow I doubt it and I think it will be another round of blaming the racist fans, even though the majority aren’t, for not mindlessly consuming a bad product they didn’t ask for. It is funny how it is never that the product was bad anymore it is always oh the toxic fans.

Ultimately I think Star Wars needs to see the back of Kathleen Kennedy her politics is ruining many a good idea and I think someone who is actually a fan, I don’t believe she has ever watched any of these films of TV shows, should be in charge.

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Ruby Gillman Teenage Kracken: The Tik Tok Generation Through The Lens Of Complete Misunderstanding

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Some creatives from DreamWorks who are all probably approaching middle age decide that they know what kids like based of watching one Tik Tok video once and so make this a film that speaks to only one group of people.

This film is made for terminally online teens the kind you would find with dyed hair and who have a series of different flags and causes in their bio, that is what this film thinks teens are. It cannot and will not understand that teens are more than just this crowd. If you need to see proof of my claims then see Ruby’s group of friends and how they talk and interact it is the most cringe thing you will ever see and feels in no way real or even human, maybe that was the point.

The message of be yourself has been told so many times that I question if it has any meaning anymore, surely kids don’t need to be told this lesson by every animated film that comes out every year in order to learn individualism surely they aren’t that dumb.

I struggled to care about any of the characters as I found them clawing stereotypes of what people view Gen Z and Millennials like, and in that sense I just found them more and more irritating as the film went on to such a point where I debated turning it off a few times and if I hadn’t been watching it for review I probably would have.

Overall, this is what happens when 40-50 year olds try to write something for kids they don’t understand.

1.5/5

Pros.

It is a neat concept

It had about two funny jokes

Cons.

It is cringe

It is mostly painfully unfunny

The characters are awful

It feels like a bargain basement version of Turning Red

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Anyone But You: When In Doubt Throw Yourself In The Harbour

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After a misunderstanding a pair of people who hate each other must pretend to be a couple in order to not ruin a wedding.

A plot that has been done so many times I have lost count, originality is not one of this films special skills. You know where this is going, they pretend to be a couple then they become a couple and then they break up and then they have a big run to the airport moment reunite and the films over.

I think where this film shines is with the chemistry between the leads Sydney Sweeny and Glen Powell, both of them do a really good job with it and have a strong back and forth and that makes this better than your standard rom-com.

I think a lot of the wider cast are just unnecessary and leave you feeling irritated when they are on screen as the film does nothing to make you care about them even slightly.

Overall, there isn’t much to say about this one, it is on the better side of average.

3/5

Pros.

The chemistry

A few funny jokes

A sweet singing scene

Cons.

It is predictable

The rest of the cast are wasted

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Imaginary: The Opposite Of A World Of Pure Imagination

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A kid, a teddy, and a monster of some sort. Settle down it’s only the same old Blumhouse formula.

Once upon a time Blumhouse used to make some of the best horror films out there, they were your prime cuts of horror meat, but then slowly over time they started abandoning smarter ideas and in many senses adults and started appealing primarily to teens, turning it into slurry that is not even fit for sick animals.

As such this film has a needless teen romance arc as all the best films do. Why can’t the creatives over a Blumhouse see that some of the best horror films of all time have not had teen angst in them, even when they featured teen characters, people don’t want the CW’s writing showing up in their horror films.

Here we have a writer, DeWanda Wise, that has to use her imagination to be able to kill her childhood imaginary friend that has now come for her step daughter. When the film actually gets into the mythology of imaginary friends and talks about how kids go missing all the time as they can’t accept that they aren’t real and so leave home to be with them then the film actually starts to get scary. However, when you see the creature at the end of the film, and see those black eye effects then you are quickly brought out of any fear you felt and feel like you are watching a film made on the cheap, and I do not mean that in a good and charming way.

I will give the film that I liked the twist wherein only the step mom and the little girl could see the bear but before that point in the film we had all just assumed everyone could see it, that was neat and I didn’t see it coming.

Overall, Blumhouse continues a negative trend downwards

Pros.

The twist

The mythology

Cons.

The acting

The angst

The monster

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Dune Part 2: The True Messiah

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Gear up for another trip to Arrakis, or as the locals call it Dune.

I think this is easily the best film of the year so far, I have watched it thrice in cinemas now, and have continued on with the series in book form currently reading God Emperor.

In many ways this film is perfection be it with the effects or the visuals, or in the way the world is so perfectly realised, there are a lot of areas in which this film deserves praise. It takes what worked so well in the first film and builds upon it to give you a perhaps even better experience. I would say that this film is helped by the fact that more happens herein and it feels far more action centric whereas the first was less so, but that is what you get when you needlessly split up a book.

There are a number of changes from the books here so work and some don’t. I liked the ending which sees the Great Houses reject Paul, Timothy Chalamet’s, ascension and as such it will be war. This will make Messiah more interesting as in the books Paul pretty much had firm control over the Empire once the second book came around, this is a good thing as Messiah is far more about political intrigue than action, which after the last two films the general audience may turn their nose up at. The major change I didn’t like was Chani, Zendaya. In the books Chani was Paul’s concubine and love as well as a warrior she believed in him and that was it, here she is angry with him every step of the way and thinks that the Messiah should be one of their own and ignores all the signs Paul is the Messiah to the point of being blind. I understand what they were going for here they wanted to push Frank Herbert’s original message to not trust charismatic leaders, but in execution it just came across as if she was constantly arguing with Paul over everything, this quickly became annoying. In many senses it felt like they needed to update the narrative for a modern audience and inject some girl boss tropes in their and some post-colonial preaching even though this is in space and they could easily have a very different morality to those of us who dwell for abnormal amounts of time on X discussing activism. Also at the end of the film Chani leaves, and I don’t know how they are going to fix that as she needs to have Paul’s kids in Messiah it is an important part of the plot, but I guess that is an issue for another time.

Overall, easily the best science fiction film of the decade and the best film of the year so far.

4.5/5

Pros.

The visuals

The effects

How realised the world is

The cast

The ending

Cons.

Chani and the way they took her character

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer