I.S.S: For All The Insomniacs Out There.

Summary

Life in space.

This was one of the recent films that just came and went, did you even know it existed before this review? Maybe you did maybe you didn’t.

For me catching this film on streaming I just think to myself that when Hollywood wonders why no one is going to the cinema anymore it is because of films like this. Boring, forgettable films that have similar premises to others that have come out in the not too distant past and which you remember more fondly than this.

Honestly even after watching this mere hours ago I can barely remember any of the main story points about it, that is how much it stays in the mind. It is just deeply forgettable.

In terms of the acting they have a pretty mixed bag of a cast mostly new people who have yet to cut their teeth or older TV guys still trying to become leading men in actually big films. They are fine if forgettable.

Overall, forgettable dross that will clog up the Netflix algorithm.

1.5/5

Pros.

It is a good sleep aid

It has some unintentional laughs

Cons

It is unoriginal

The cast do nothing

It is boring

It is too self-serious

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, customised film recommendations to suit your personality and tastes, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

The Hate U Give: A Dumb Persons Response To A Serious Issue

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Some teens experience police brutality.

This is one of the most whiney films I have ever watched, I understand that these characters go through a really awful experience yet the film doesn’t have anything new to say about this problem in American society, nor does it want to unpack the emotional toll of it, but rather than whine and appear virtuous whilst doing the bare minimum.

There was a person somewhere behind the scenes being like oh my film is needed it’s necessary it is doing something to change the world, but none of those things are true. This is as surface level as it gets, more over the message of the film is just asinine, police brutality is wrong, did anyone not already know that.

This film feels like it was made as the creatives thought audiences were dumb and needed to be told how to think, but once again everyone already knew what this film had to say.

Amandla Stenberg is also wooden as hell.

Overall, a shallow insipid mess that feels the need to lecture yet has nothing new to say.

1/5

Pros.

It had one good song in its soundtrack

Cons.

It is puddle deep

Stenberg is awful

It is badly paced

It feels like its constantly preaching

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Garfield The Movie: A Tale Of Two Kitties This Is Not

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Garfield, voiced by Chris Pratt, is back on the big screen.

So I am a big Garfield fan, I grew up watching the films and have watched every episode of Garfield and Friends many and I mean many times over. As such I was very excited for this film and it was the film I was the most excited to watch this year. Sadly, this wasn’t really a Garfield film.

Yes, you have John and Odie, him liking food and even his teddy, but really that is where it ends. Garfield may get into zany adventures but he is not some sort of heist/action character. Think about the films, in the first he took down someone who wanted to use Odie for evil, but he did it in a very Garfield way, lazy and sarcastic. In the second he saved a manor from being sold off, again he did this by teaching the animals about goofing off and eating. You see in both cases the problem is solved by him being himself, not him being something he isn’t. Here we see Garfield have to become a cat of action and learn to live in the real world and go on heists for some reason. Why is it that every film now must be about a heist.

There are some okay moments here don’t get me wrong I don’t think its awful, I just don’t think its Garfield.

The father and son stuff really for was whatever as we have seen it all before in other films, and you know exactly where each beat is going. They do nothing new with it.

My only positive for the film really is that the beginning stuff with kitten Garfield and how he first met John is adorable and heart-warming. That was a really good way to start the film it is just a shame the rest of it was so very eh.

Overall, fine but this is not a Garfield film.

2/5

Pros.

A few nice moments

A really strong beginning

Cons.

It isn’t Garfield

The father son stuff didn’t work

It was incredibly predictable

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below]

Help Support My Reviews

Inside Out 2: The Increasingly Depressing Life Of Riley

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Riley, voiced by Kensington Tallman, is going through changes.

Please believe me that won’t be the only reference I make to Big Mouth during this review.

So before we get into this I want to head off the complaint of ‘oh this film wasn’t for you’, films are made for everyone they are made for a mass audience, so yes it is. People of all ages can enjoy any film they want and take different things from it. My question is who was this film made for, because in the audience when I saw it there may have been one child but by and large it was an adult crowd.

Anyway moving along, I thought this was a decidedly average sort of film, it had a few good moments, namely whenever Pouchy showed up, and it had a number of odd choices and messages that I think ruined the film in a number of ways. Widely, both mostly cancel each other out, but I would say that this film is probably below average in terms of Pixar’s wider output.

I think the most baffling decision about this film is how it is not fun in anyway. Riley is going through a hard time and is sad in a lot of the film having to find a way to fit in, dealing with her friends leaving her, and the emotions are going on a quest to save the old pre-puberty Riley. However, as Big Mouth teaches us you cannot stop changes, you cannot go back to the happier and more innocent days of your childhood, and the emotions realise this over the course of the film with them having a heavy time of it. Joy, voiced by Amy Poehler, literally cries several times over the course of the film. A fun time at the movies for the whole family.

Speaking off Joy is quite irritating here, so the central conflict of the film happens as the new puberty emotions show up and take over with Joy and co sent away, she then goes on a quest to get the old Riley back. However, not only is this futile but has a terrible message, the film seems to suggest for the most part that one should not accept change and must always be a good person and be positive otherwise they are inherently bad. This makes little sense and lacks any idea of nuance. Though Anxiety, voiced by Maya Hawke, does go a little crazy by the end people need anxiety to get anywhere in life, having anxiety is normal. The film does try and have Joy learn a lesson and learn that she needs to be less of a control freak but it then rewards this by letting her be in charge again. Joy at times has a karen like mentality in how she treats almost all of the other emotions, which is to say badly.

Moreover, another thing I thought was weird was that the film spends a lot of time, and I mean a lot, showing how Riley wants to be a hockey player. Now this is normal however, whenever the film seems to think that Riley is being a bit too masculine, in a traditional gender norms sort of way, it has to go out of its way to make her goofy or silly. To me this is problematic, as what would be so wrong with her being tough and wanting to be a hockey player and doing it earnestly, why does she need to have all the goofy I’m a teen girl shenanigans unless they are worried about how she will present from a gender norms point of view. I could understand if these moments were supposed to be for comedy and that’s why she’s goofy but the whole rest of the film entirely neglects comedy for the most part so that doesn’t make sense. It felt very traditional in how it wanted to show gender norms and in some ways a bit patronising, as rather than let her be competitive and wanting to be the best hockey player there, it had to tie into a narrative of oh is she a good team player, what about her friends, oh it’s just girls having fun. One has to think if it was a male lead would it be the same or would they have allowed him to be competitive and want to be the best and not made it about him and his friends. In this sense the film can be seen to reinforce very traditional gender roles and be regressive towards female athletes.

Finally, and you know we couldn’t talk about current year Disney and not bring up the w word. For the most part this film is fairly devoid of the identity politics you would expect of current year Disney. However, there is one scene so cringe in this regard that I knew I had to include it in the review, during a part of the film where the emotions are going through a part of Riley’s mind showing dream jobs she had as a child one of them is a supreme court justice. This to me stood out because what kid is that politically aware, most kids want to be a dinosaur, a princess, an adventurer or some other sort of thing like that no kid has ever said they want to be a supreme court justice, I don’t believe that. The fact it was included in the film screams to me of the obsession that liberal women seem to have with RBG again not all liberal women but a lot of the Hollywood ones for sure. Look at the ham-fisted inclusion they did in Book Smart, again just because these Hollywood people are political they should not assume that teens or kids are, as most aren’t. It is just such an odd and out of touch sort of inclusion that it made me roll my eyes.

Overall, it is fine but not really an enjoyable trip to the cinema.

2/5

Pros.

Pouchy

It is not as woke as it could have been

Cons.

It does not let Riley be competitive or fully into hockey, it lessens it to not scare people off

The supreme court justice line

It is very sad

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Predicting The End Of The Acolyte

Written by Luke Barnes

This will be something fairly new for this site, due to the popularity of my Acolyte coverage, I am going to try and predict the end of the show. Now for context we are about half way through at the end of next week’s episode so there is still plenty of places for this to go to. Maybe I’ll be right, maybe I’ll be wrong but here we go, and remember if you like this new format to let me know because then I’ll do more of it.

Okay so an easy one up first, someone from the wider Star Wars universe will cameo, likely right at the end of the final episode. If I had to guess I would say maybe someone like Yoda or possibly a Darth Plaguieis if they wanted to bring in someone from the wider lore, I don’t know if he is still considered cannon or not. They will do this to try and tie this fan fiction into the actual films and shows so that it feels more legitimate.

Secondly, Jodi Turner-Smith is the Sith that is training and sending out Mae, Amandla Stenberg, they will have some reason she survived the massacre, and say that it was her in ability to let her children be themselves that made her the villain. The two sisters will then join together to take her out, there will be the much rumoured I am your mother moment before this point. It will be odd if the show does this as it has had you sympathise with her character in episode 3 going oh she just doesn’t want her children taken away.

Thirdly, the Jedi order will be the real bad guys, even though the Sith are the known villains of the Star Wars franchise, this series will try to excuse Turner-Smith’s character who has weaponised her child into an assassin by saying oh but the Jedi are bad. This is being done to deconstruct the group and to tie into the tired analogy to modern policing and go oh they were too heavy handed they should have treated this community better, it is not subtle. The show will likely say that the Jedi were directly responsible for the massacre, or that they allowed it to happen through neglect.

Fourthly, the final shot of the series will be the twins starting their own force coven on some distant, but no doubt desert like world, where both the light and the dark side of the force will be explored. They may even tie into the Grey Jedi in some way, no doubt the show will have the twins and the good padawans who will rise up against the lazy and corrupt Jedi and lecture them on how they are terrible and dooming the universe, go off and found the Grey Jedi order. I don’t think that would work in terms of lore or cannon but hey the show doesn’t care, also they have erased a lot of the Old Republic stuff so it probably doesn’t matter.

Fifthly, there will be more identity politics, this one isn’t so much a prediction for a scene or story thread but more a comment on the show overall. There has been talk that their will be a conversation about a creatures pronouns in episode 4, and no doubt we will have more of the characters turning to the camera to explain that they are they them and that sort of thing. I wouldn’t be too surprised if we got a Jodie Whittaker who esque to the camera speech about all the hate in the galaxy and how close minded people are after such a scene, though they may hide their actual topic behind the clumsy metaphor of the misunderstood and persecuted space witches.

Finally, and this one is just for me, I predict that this show will not get a season two, it will very much go the way of Book Of Boba Fett and Kenobi and be one and done, the fan backlash and the division it has caused is enough to make Lucasfilm see this is not a viable path that a majority of fans are into

If you enjoyed this piece of prediction, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, customised film recommendations to suit your personality and tastes, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Lime and Vinegar

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two women, Yiseth Brendlinger and Dalma Llinas, come to clean a house and end up getting stuck there.

A lot of drama can be had from a film where characters are trapped in an enclosed space and are just forced to talk. In many senses far more can happen than in even the biggest superhero film and it is in that sense that this film really crosses between being at times a more light hearted affair and something more akin to a drama.

Both of the leading ladies do a terrific job in making you see them as real people, who are relatable and who you can see yourself in. It could be argued that with lesser actors this film would be less engaging as a lot hangs on their conversations and their chemistry with each other in order to make the film interesting, however, both actors are more than capable here and they really manage to enhance the film.

I found this film able to make me both laugh and feel which is a hard task, as to do one is easier but to do both is far more difficult.

Overall, it is a nice slice of life sort of film wherein your connection to the characters is key.

4.5/5

Pros.

It manages both drama and comedy well

The actors have good chemistry

You care about the characters

It is well paced

It is funny

Cons.

The start was a little slow

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

The Acolyte Episode 3 Review: Star Wars Is Dead And Kathy Did It

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

We learn that the twins have abusive parents that want to control them and indoctrinate them. Yet the episode kind of feels like it wants us to root for them.

Lets start off this review by saying two things, firstly the Jedi did nothing wrong the force witch coven are abusive and controlling and want the twins to have no control over their lives they only tried to help the kids. Secondly, this will be my last review of the Acolyte as I’m done, with this show. However, if enough people want me to carry on I may do so. Never say never.

This is the episode that had been prophesied to ruin Star Wars and it did, and for what. So Leslie Headland could live out her fan fiction fantasy about a group of strong lesbian witches that don’t need no man trying to take down the evil patriarchal Jedi order, with a female master. You can almost feel in this show the amount of destain that Headland, a supposed fan, has for the Jedi and for Star Wars in general.

Now how did she ruin it, oh boy buckle up. Well remember how Anakin was immaculately conceived by the force and that is why he was so powerful and supposedly the chosen one, well here we learn that the twins were also born of the force so that basically destroys the whole idea of Anakin being the chosen one. Now some people have argued its not the same Anakin was made by the force itself, whereas here the witches use some magic to create them, therefore it is their creation not that of the force, yet the show knows what it is doing it is trying to undermine Anakin and the wider Star Wars universe because it knows that that story is better than the tripe they are peddling here.

Moreover, we continue to have no masculine heroes, I went some ways to talk about it before in my 1 and 2 review, but all the males here are just so passive and in no way cool, they are emotionless and just do as their told by the strong female characters. I understand wanting to have strong female characters, for the tiny female viewership they care about more than the overwhelmingly male one for some reason, but they couldn’t even give the show one interesting male character that has some agency and isn’t just weak.

The acting continues to be terrible across the board, nothing more needs to be said there.

Overall, I am fully convinced Disney wants to kill Star Wars.

Pros.

It is meme worthy

Cons.

It ruins the lore

It is dumb and needless

It is Headland’s personal fanfiction

The acting is awful

The lack of any non-passive male leads

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

IF: A Sad And Upsetting Film That Is Certainly Not For Kids

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Children’s imaginary friends are real and live in an old folks home.

I originally wasn’t going to see this film because it stars Amy Schumer in a minor role, but then I went to the random movie night at my local cinema wherein they show a random new release to the audience and you don’t know what you are going to get and this is what I got. As I don’t go to any of the major UK chains often, this is what I do at my independent local cinema instead, if it sounds different to what you are used to. Could have left, but I thought hey I am at the cinema and sat down now so I’ll watch it.

This is not what you are expecting it to be, it is not some cutesy family film, or a laugh a minute comedy its actually incredibly sad and distressing. Think Bridge To Terabithia sad. The film is incredibly bleak at times and the film plays these moments rather earnestly, what’s more the ending that makes you question whether any of it was actually real or simply the girls means of coping with the fact she may become an orphan just makes it all hit far more. I liked that right at the end we got confirmation that it was all real and that the whimsey could win the day over a gritty and tragic tale of a little girl’s battle with mental illness to cope with what’s happened to her family.

Ryan Reynolds and Phoebe Waller-Bridge are the standouts amongst the cast with the former having some good funny moments and the latter having a lot of heart and emotion.

Overall, not the film that you have been sold, but instead something much more emotional and upsetting.

2.5/5

Pros.

It has some sweet moments

The story is interesting

It is a new idea

Cons.

It is depressing

The premise doesn’t go far enough and their isn’t enough variety in the IFs

It has been not properly marketed

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Cinema Issues: The Era Of The Virtue Signalling Celebrity

Written by Luke Barnes

In this cinema issues article we are talking about the era of the virtue signalling celebrity. As many of you may know my position is that celebrities should keep their politics to themselves, no one and I mean no one wants to hear about how a millionaire likely nepo baby thinks the world should be. To make matters worse a lot of the time these people either don’t know what they are talking about or are just reading from pre-prepared statements to try and say the right things to get people to give them praise for being progressive. It is never meant genuinely.

People say oh they are celebrities with a platform they should be championing social ideals and saying this is how society should be, but no, they are not politicians or community leaders they are actors people’s whose job it is to entertain not to moralise or tell you how to live you life.

The issue with things is everyone is afraid of being cancelled, everyone is worried if they don’t say the right thing, take the right position, they might get dropped or lose everything and in that position you don’t have real people anymore you have robots. People who are just going through the motions saying things and doing things simply because they have to.

We should not need to know actors politics, but if we have to their should be an equal balance of left and right wing people in Hollywood. There should never, in Hollywood or anywhere else, be one dominant group that tells the rest how they can think and what is correct thought and what is wrong thought that is inherently dystopian. Yet that is Hollywood, where there is one line to tread, and I think in many ways that is why you are seeing success coming from outside Hollywood and you are seeing people turn away from them, as people hate the Californian bubble.

It’s the fact that not only do these people think they are great and virtuous but it is the distain they have the fans or the watchers that really makes them insufferable as they look down on them and think that they are dirty little people who need to be made to think correctly.

If you enjoyed this piece, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, customised film recommendations to suit your personality and tastes, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

The Young Woman And The Sea: Hemingway Turns Over In His Grave

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Daisy Riddley needs something to do between filming commitments for more Star Wars content no one wants, so she made this film.

If I were the family of the person this is based on I would sue, that is how bad this is.

So the film details the first ever time a woman swam the English Channel, based on real events. In another timeline this could have been an inspirational tale of rising to the occasion, perseverance and never giving up on your dreams, but Disney has their hands on this. Due to Disney’s influence this film is full of the message that Bob Iger said they were walking away from, rather than focus on this heroic woman and her journey, which in and of itself is uplifting, progressive and inspiring, they have to force in a bunch of current year feminist theory that makes no sense in that time period. Some of the things they are talking about are so deeply out of place it makes you think did they just not even bother doing research for this film.

Daisy Riddley is fine, she cannot act and is mostly just looking slightly angry for most of the film, she is another student of the Alaqua Cox school of acting, but that is okay as for the scenes when she is swimming you cannot really see her face. For the sake of ease just think of her as a block of wood in the film that goes from point a to b.

As I said before, this tale deserved to be good, but Disney being Disney they had to run it into the ground and make it not only boring but also needlessly chocked full of identity politics.

Overall, there is a reason Disney say they are not bothered about the box office of this film and that is because they know no one will see it.

1/5

Pros.

It is almost too bad to be believed

Cons.

It is sanctimonious

It is boring

Ridley struggles

It is far too long

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews