Oddity: The Most Imposing House Guest Ever

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A blind Irish mystic, Carolyn Bracken, investigates the murder of her sister.

So I had heard a lot of good things before I got to see this film, and as such I went in with high expectations and that may have been the problem.

Whilst there certainly was scary aspects of this film, it does have a few good scares, I found it to be inconsistent across the film’s runtime as there were moments you could call scary but also some downright silly ones. The doll for example is silly and never isn’t ‘, even when it kills a guy.

I also thought the ending was weak, I understand it was going for ambiguity to keep you guessing, but I just thought that what it gave wasn’t very satisfying and left the film feeling incomplete.

Overall, a film with some fresh ideas but the execution is a little sloppy.

2.5/5

Pros.

Some good scares

It has moments of freshness

The setting and atmosphere

Cons.

It cannot maintain its tone

It is silly when it really shouldn’t be

The ending

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Star Wars Episode 2 Attack Of The Clones: Everybody Hates Sand

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Galaxy stands on the verge of civil war and a senator life hangs in the balance.

When I first watched this as a kid many years ago, I thought it was boring and long and I didn’t really like it. However, as I have rewatched it over the years I find myself growing to like it and find a renewed appreciation for this part of the saga.

There still are pacing issues, and the film does too much but aside from that it is a pretty enjoyable ride. Christopher Lee is great as Count Dooku in the small amounts we see him, and Ewan McGregor really comes into his own in the role of Obi-Wan here, sadly the acting is only really let down by Hayden Christensen and his emo Anakin. Though it is debatable how much is actually Christensen’s fault.

The writing of Anakin’s fall into being an emo teen is quite poorly done and makes you feel at times quite jarred as it seems to come out of nowhere and be quite over the top.

All that said the Jedi fighting in the gladiator ring at the end against the droids/creatures, was a cool visual and will certainly bring joy to most Star Wars fans.

Overall, not as good as The Phantom Menace or  Revenge Of The Sith, review coming soon, but still has some charm.

3.5/5

Pros.

The ending

Natalie Portman

Dooku

Some funny and enjoyable moments

Cons.

The writing especially around Anakin isn’t great

The pacing

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Cinema Issues: The Postmortem Of Doctor Who

Written by Luke Barnes

In this cinema issues article we are dissecting the first season of New, New Who and doing a post mortem to see what went so badly wrong with it.

So lets get something out of the way right quick, the series is in a bad way,  I don’t care if you think it was some of the most stunning and brave Who ever, the ratings are a slow death. The Legend Of Ruby Tuesday and another episode this season both posted record low viewership numbers for the show, some of the lowest in the shows history. Look it up. Things are bad, and there is even talk that the filmed season batch of episodes may not get released as the BBC debates what to do with them, likely they will get released and the show will just be put on ice come this time next year.

Anyway, as the BBC starts to question everything and panic about its in development Who spin-offs, we will look at what went wrong with these episodes.

I think the main issue a lot of people had with these season was that fundamentally it wasn’t Who, never before have I seen the Doctor have so many dance numbers and act more like a local tiktoker trying to make it big than an alien. In addition the fact that the Doctor called everyone ‘babes’ constantly didn’t make it feel like Who it made it feel as though the Doctor had suddenly become another person.

Moreover, the series was heavily political with a number of controversial hot button issues forced in, just for the show to keep a desperate hold of its increasingly radically progressive audience. Some of it didn’t even make sense like when those people who not be saved by the Doctor because he was black and would rather die, what horribly on the nose message was that supposed to be pushing as it felt like a straw man argument. These ideas where repeated over the course of the season, the issue with clearly taking a side politically is that it then alienates your audience and makes you start to loose chunks of people. It is always better to present two sides and let the audience make up their own mind.

Furthermore, who at Disney or the BBC thought it was a good idea to allow cast and creators to attack the fans, whoever it was I would say is the most responsible for the bad feeling and reception to this season. This is mainly due to the fact of actors telling fans to screw off and then being shocked when their show has bad viewership, you do not treat your fans like that you just don’t. Yet these people look down on their fans and think they don’t need them, how wrong they are.

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It Ends With Us: Turning Domestic Abuse Into A Rom-Com

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Blake Lively stars in a romance film about domestic abuse.

I had heard all about the drama surrounding this film going into it and thought to myself what matters most is how they handle it. However, after watching this film I have questions as to why Lively and some of the behind the scenes creatives wanted to keep the romance elements in the film.

Considering Lively says she wanted this film to be a rallying call for victims of domestic abuse and show a survivors story, the film barely touches on the domestic abuse and even at the climax only has it as a big dramatic fight/breakup. I just think it is odd that they try and romanticize the relationship in the early stages when ultimately this is a story about domestic abuse, it should play more as a tragedy and not a romantic film.

Moreover, the characters are all deeply unlikeable, there is no one here really to like or warm to, Lively’s character is yet another ‘fleabag’ type woman who only wants casual sex and doesn’t want a relationship. Remember men who use women for sex are creeps and misogynists and so it should be equally as condemnable when women do it. She is the character you are supposed to warm to as well as obviously the guy is the baddie.

Don’t even get me started on the fact they play for a love triangle. Honestly if Lively and co wanted this to be a rom-com why not take out the domestic abuse stuff, why base it on a book about domestic abuse, it is such an odd call to try and turn this into an erotic thriller and then go this is for you abuse survivors.

Overall, I don’t see the appeal in this.

1/5

Pros.

It has a good soundtrack

Cons.

It shouldn’t be romantic

Lively isn’t likeable

It has pacing issues

It feels like it’s the wrong genre

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Cinema Issues: The Acolyte Is Cancelled Looks Like Star Wars Isn’t A YA Female Brand After All

Written by Luke Barnes

Image credit, What’s On Disney Plus

In this cinema issues article we are talking about the much deserved cancellation of the Acolyte.

So lets get a few things out of the way first, Disney is a business they cancel things if they  don’t have good ratings or make them money, the Acolyte did neither. Disney did not give in to the toxic fans, you overly assume the importance Disney places on any of their customers opinions or politics, it is as simple as did it make this number? No, then it is cancelled. Also Disney does not care about how some shows need a few seasons to find an audience, again did it hit the number they wanted? No, then it is cancelled.

Now let’s talk about why it was so poorly viewed.

Rumour has it that Disney is angry with star of the show Amandla Stenberg, saying that her diss track to own the haters, actually hurt the show in the long run as it caused people to turn off. Looks like Disney knows that attacking fans isn’t the way to go about it, I wonder if they will still do it when Skeleton Crew comes out.

It also might be time to call it on the idea of turning Star Wars into a girl-power brand. Audience data collected by the Wrap says that over 70% of Star Wars’ audience is older males, and the figure only seems to be increasing as time goes by, efforts like this to bring in a different sort of fan are not pushing the needle enough to change that and are also alienating that 70% therefore leading the series to not have enough viewers to stay on.

It may be time for Disney and Kathy to except Star Wars for what it is, a nerdy franchise mainly consumed by older guys and one that will become irrelevant in a few decades when these people start to die off. The idea of bringing in new fans by doing new things isn’t working, this show desperately tried to do that and had the worst viewing figures of all Disney + Star Wars so it might be time to accept new fans aren’t coming in big enough numbers to make the change over survivable for the brand.

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Borderlands: How Not To Adapt A Videogame

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A popular game series is turned into a film by someone who has never played the games before.

Who didn’t see this coming? I think right from the moment the public was first introduced to this film red flags began to appear everywhere. From stunt or joke casting to the way it ripped off what Guardians does with music and the score, there were clear indicators that this film was going to be bad. However, after watching it I can say that it is not offensively bad nor is it terrible, for the most part it is just boring and cheaply made.

I found the action and the games references to at least be somewhat entertaining even if they were incredibly hollow, it was very much look kids there is something from the game remember sans any of the emotional attachment or enjoyment of it. They got in a lot of references but did precious little with each one.

Moreover, the fact that they made it a 12 here in the UK, so a PG 13 if you’re American, was a terrible move. Not the least because most of those who grew up playing the game are now adults and so are ready to see the blood and gore of the games replicated but don’t get it, but also with the fact that the kids  this film is aimed are not even old enough to play the games legally.

It is also quite odd that Roth and co decided to have all of the women in the film be about two decades older than their games counterparts? Was this done to bring in older women to watch it , I wouldn’t think it would be there sort of thing. Cate Blanchett was not very convincing during her action scenes and I must say it wasn’t helped by the terrible wig they had her wear.

Overall, there is no point making a film like this if you don’t have a passion for the game and clearly no one involved with this project had any passion for the games.

1.5/5

Pros.

Some funny lines

The action was okay

Cons.

Cate Blanchett, Hart and Lee-Curtis were badly miscast

It wasn’t funny

The lack of gore was disappointing

It was incredibly average

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Rings Of Power Season 2: Can It Be Saved?

Written by Luke Barnes

In this cinema issues article we are talking about The Rings Of Power and what I believe it needs to do in order to be a better second season and in order to set the series up for long term success.

Now as a Tolkien fan I have a very complicated relationship with this show, there is a part of me that thinks it shouldn’t exist, and when I watched the first few episodes of the first season I was convinced it was little more than current year trash. However, as I advanced beyond that I did think there were some good ideas there, deeply buried but there, and I began to warm to it more by the end of the first season. As such I want to suggest ways that the second season could improve on the first and turn the show around, because lets face it by Amazon’s own admission, in the end, the majority of people didn’t finish the first season.

Before we get into it I want to say this is all just my opinion, nothing to cry about, some of it will be changes they can make this season and some will be possible changes they can make before a maybe possibly season 3. The idea of if this show can even be saved will also be discussed.

I think the fundamental issue with ROP that was there in the first season and will be there in season 2 is the fact that those who make the show do not understand or like the IP. As such they inject other things into in order to try and get more people in whilst driving away people who might actually like the show, take for example the fact in the new season they are teasing a romance between Galadriel, Morfydd Clarke, and Sauron, Charlie Vickers which just shows that the creators do not know these characters. They are doing this in an effort to try and get social media shippers to care, and to appear like it is A YA show, they are doing this when they could just use Celeborn instead. Doing things like the YA shipping makes me think that the show can’t be saved.

Moving on I think the show needs to focus on less characters, the Harfoots need to go away as do the Numenorian’s, I would also cut out the Dwarf’s and just have it be about Sauron trying to corrupt different groups of people with Galadriel and Elron in toe to stop him. All the stuff with the Stranger too I would cut out, we just don’t need it, the show is trying to tell too many stories at once.

I would also hype up events rather than going look guys the first black elf, this is tokenistic and irritating virtue signalling. You should have natural diversity and not make a big deal of it just be like yes this is the world, you don’t need to show them off its weird. Look at how House Of The Dragon does it for example, much better.   

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I Saw The TV Glow: A Horrifying Voyage Of Mental Illness

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A couple of people begin to believe that they are characters in a TV show.

So where to begin with this film, I suppose we should begin as we mean to continue and in that vein I will open by saying it is a horrible film.

Not only is it the same art house nonsense you would expect, with symbolism, a story that makes no sense, stunted dialogue and more but it also boasts yet another terrible performance from Justice Smith. Smith really is having a bad 2024 starring in this and the Magical Society, the guy can’t seem to catch a break.

The plot is basically around two mentally ill people who fully devolve into their mental illness and begin to harm themselves, yet it is all okay as their delusions are real so when they mutilate themselves its not real, or is it? On top of all that you have them escaping into this TV show as they are actually the characters from that, or so they believe, and Smith is actually a girl, yet even in the world of fiction they are being horribly tortured by a sadistic man who lives in the moon.

If all that sounds a bit much there is also a lot of allegories for trans people and the trans experience during the film and it is supposed to have some sort of political message. However, it just seems like two people desperately in need of help both physical and psychological, hurting themselves and being tortured. The message seems to be lost along the way, unless that is it.

I have watched a lot of hard to watch horror films in my time, meaning both hard to watch as in they make no narrative sense, and hard to watch in terms of being unpleasant but I must say this has taken the cake.

Overall, don’t believe all the 4/5 star reviews saying it is a masterpiece as it reflects a certain type of politics, it is actually a horrible nasty little film that makes no sense and is a sickening experience to watch, especially the latter torture scenes.

0/5

Pros.

None

Cons.

It is horrible to watch

The message, whatever it is, is lost

The performances are bad

The writing is stunted

The ending is terrible

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The Crow: The Remake From Hell

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Bill Skarsgard puts on some face paint and cosplays as Eric Draven.

This film was doomed from the off, there was jus too much of a bad taste associated with this remake in the light of Brandon Lee’s death. As I have said before if it had been set in the same universe but with other characters then it probably wouldn’t be as hated as it is, but alas here we are.

Another thing that horribly dates this film is the fact that rather than try to keep to the look from the first film here instead making Eric look like a hot topic reject. Even when the Crow makeup goes on it just looks like a cheap Youtube parody.

In a sense this is very true of the film as a whole, it reads as though it is trying to remake the original to stand alongside it, or maybe even best it, but rather than do any of those things it comes off as an overly serious parody film. I even question whether Skarsgard was miscast.

Overall, a terrible and incredibly unnecessary remake.

0.5/5

Pros.

It is short

Cons.

The look is all wrong

It doesn’t seem to understand what made the first film popular

It feels at best like a parody

It is an insult to Brandon Lee’s legacy

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Trap: Nepo Baby The Movie 2

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Cooper, Josh Harnett, take his daughter, April Donoghue, to a concert. The dad is also a serial killer and the concert is a trap meant to catch him.

This is a disappointing Shyamalan film for a number of reasons. First and most important is that there is no twist, the director known for twists doesn’t do one here. The trailer tells you he’s a serial killer and that the film is about the law trying to catch him, there is no reveal that he isn’t actually a killer or that it is his daughter and he’s trying to help cover for her or something like that, no you wait for a twist that never comes.

Secondly, the nepotism is getting a bit hard to stomach now. I had no issue when Shyamalan wanted to put himself into his films as a sort of authorial flourish, but now that he is forcing his frankly untalented daughter, Saleka, upon us I think things have gone too far. The film has this singer, decide that rather than just help the killer escape and then get the hell away she will instead solve the case and stop him. Saleka is Shyamalan’s real life daughter and whilst it is bad enough he made her the singer that the concert venue revolves around, the fact he says that she is the hero destined to stop this killer, when no one would behave like that is just egregious. In reality after being held hostage by a killer you would run away or maybe go to the police. You would not live stream from the killers toilet to try and save his latest victim, it feels so fake so not how any real person would behave and contrived. Also Saleka is not a good actor despite what her dad might think, she is distractingly bad.

Sadly, the idea of the trap itself is quite interesting and seeing Josh Hartnett having to go to great lengths to get himself out of the situation whilst also being hilariously awkward with his daughter is fun to watch, but that is only about 60 percent of the film. You would have a much better experience if you got up when they leave the concert venue and went home what comes next is all the stuff with M.Night’s daughter and the horrible and contrived ending.

I think this film shows M. Night at a lower rung than even something like The Last Airbender because at least there he was still trying to do something, bad as it was, here he cant even be bothered with a twist he just wants to give his kid a summer job.

Overall, one of the most glaring disappointments of the summer.

1.5/5

Pros.

Hartnett is trying

The early parts of the film are fun

Cons.

There is no twist

The ending is stupid, unbelievable and contrived

The nepotism is repugnantly on view

It shows Shyamalan is not even trying anymore

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