Aquaslash: Blood In The Water

Aquaslash is a horror film directed by Renaud Gauthier. The plot sees a group of recently graduated high schoolers head to a waterpark to celebrate, however once they get there, they realise that there is a killer on the loose and heads and torsos then begin to role.

In a world where never everything possible has been turned into a film I would have thought a slasher set at a waterpark would have been done before, but I have never seen quite anything like this film. This is a strange film of inconsistencies; the tone goes from light and jokey to dark and menacing in a split second this happens often and is bizarre. However, where in other films tonal issues can break the film, in this they confusingly work.

However, it does take things a bit far a few times. An example of this would be that the character of Tommy (Paul Zinno), right from the beginning we see that he beats his girlfriend and is just a terrible person, yet in the third act he becomes somewhat of a hero and we are supposed to root for him? It is an odd character turn and I for one was happy when he got sliced into little pieces.

The gore in this film mainly comes from the fact that the killer has placed blades inside one of the parks three waterslides and then people start going down them; you can imagine what happens next. I found the gore to be just to my taste, it was grisly, but never too much.

The plot of this film is nonsensical and the late in the game reveal of who the killer is only serves to stretch the already thin plot thinner. However, you are not watching this film for a tight, insightful story, you’re watching this film to watch a gory, slasher film set at a waterpark, so does it matter?

Overall this is a bizarre film, if it was something else this would almost certainly be a bad review, but Aquaslash works in a way I can quite put my finger on, the gore is well done, and it is nice mindless fun.

Pros.

The gore.

The premise.

The laughable plot.

Cons.

Making a hero out of a domestic abuser?

If you want more than just mindless gore, then you might be disappointed.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Isle: Lost At Sea

The Isle is a British mystery thriller film directed by Matthew Butler-Hart. The plot sees a group of sailors become stranded on a remote island. As they begin to recover and start to explore, they soon realise that something is very wrong. The island is haunted by a ghost hell bent on revenge.

I genuinely don’t think there are enough films about seafaring and sailing as such I found this film to be refreshing. In many ways this film had a similar vibe to Robert Eggers excellent The Lighthouse, crucially we need more sea-based horror films.

I think the thing that is the most striking about this film is how original it is. It has such a strong sense of personality and is truly unlike many other horror films. The horror is a slowly built over the early part of the film, a lot of the horror focus is placed on atmosphere and creating this unpredictable sense of mystery; where you aren’t quite too sure what is going on.

I think the acting is all superb and is refreshing to see such well done performances, my one note would be that the backstory of the sailors could have been explored more. I understand that the island and its residents are the main focus, but the sailors do get a little short changed. The backstory of the haunting is interesting if a little disappointing, as the film teases the wife of Hades and I was hoping that was where it was going, but it wasn’t.

My other issue is with the design of the ghost herself. She is essentially just a woman in makeup there is nothing wrong with that it could be done creepily, however when she starts using her powers, especially during the final sequence, it looks terrible. The effects themselves are not well done, I don’t know whether it was a budget problem, or a technical one, but they look almost laughably bad and really serve to take you out of the final battle scene.

Overall, this film score points for originality and strong performances, but is short of glory because of its side-lined sailors and terrible effects.

Pros.

Originality.

Creepy.

Strong performances.

Cons.

The effects.

The sailors feel side-lined.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Dog Soldiers: Howling At The Moon

Dog Soldiers is a British horror film directed by Neil Marshall. The plot sees a group of soldiers come under attack by a pack of werewolves while doing a training exercise in a remote part of Scotland. The two groups must fight to the death as only one can walk away victories.

I watched this film again recently and have to say it hold up far better than I thought it would based on my childhood remembrance. I think the thing that works so well about it, and lasts the test of time, is the practical effects of the werewolves themselves; they are people in costumes and makeup rather than CGI. Across the course of the film we get a good look at these creatures and they are impressive, they look big and intimidating; they look like how you would imagine werewolves would look.

The cast features some great performances from familiar faces. Sean Pertwee plays Sargant Harry G. Wells, the fierce but loveable leader of the group of soldiers; Pertwee brings his usual roguish charm to the role and has a number of memorable lines and funny movements. We also see a hateable turn from Liam Cunningham as special forces solider Captain Richard Ryan; Cunningham plays the villain surprisingly well and the mystery around his character is really well done.

This film very much has a B movie sensibility to it that it uses for all the pulp fun it can. There are moments of comedy in the film as well that are surprisingly effective, they don’t take away from the horror or the tension rather they add to it in a strange, but also cool way.

Overall, this is a very strong debut for Marshall, who is by all means one of the most underrated directors in the horror genre today, well worth checking out if you can get your hands on it.

Pros.

The tone and also the dark humour.

The B movie feel.

Sean Pertwee.

Liam Cunningham.

The werewolves themselves. Practical over CGI.

Cons.

The beginning is slow, too slow.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou: Exploring The Ocean Blue

The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou is a quirky comedy film directed by Wes Anderson. The plot sees famous ocean explorer Steve Zissou (Bill Murray), set out on an expedition to kill the shark that killed his friend many years ago; hoping to regain the fame and importance he once had. His ‘maybe’ son Ned (Owen Wilson), accompanies him on his journey and the two men try to bond, to little avail.

I had recently become a convert to the Wes Anderson crowd so I went into this with high expectations and it was a fine film, maybe even good, but it was not up to my expectations; nor did it meet the standards set by The Darjeeling Limited.

I once again enjoyed the Wes Anderson sense of quirkiness; I enjoyed the wider mythology of the world and when the film took time to explain the backstory between the characters. I thought the story was fascinating; in my humble opinion there are not enough films about deep sea exploration.

I also enjoyed the cast, again it wasn’t as good as The Darjeeling Limited, but I thought Bill Murray and Owen Wilson do a great job. Both of them play the same characters that they always play but are so charming and likable that their lack of variety isn’t off-putting. The supporting cast are also superb especially Willem Dafoe as Klaus, one of the members of Zissou’s inner circle, who steals every scene he is in.

My overall issue with the film is that it feels too indulgent, too unsupervised, there are a few scenes in it that go on for far too long and really feel like they could have been shortened. Also the humour doesn’t really work for me at all. I feel like with a tighter edit and more focus this could have been perfect.

Pros.

Bill Murray and Owen Wilson

The backstory/ lore

The Andersoness of it all.

Cons.

It is too long.

The humour doesn’t work.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Kill List: A King To Be

Kill list is a British crime horror film directed by Ben Wheatly. The plot follows two ex-soldier hitmen Jay (Neil Maskell), and Gal (Michael Smiley), who’s job soon takes a turn for the strange as they become entangled with a cult, though they don’t realise it at first.

I think this film is excellent, truly excellent. I think if any film could be the Wicker Man equivalent of our modern times it is this; and that is not just because they share some similar plot threads. The reason why I think so highly of this film is because of how subtle it is, you don’t realise that you’re watching a horror film, most of the film is more crime focused, until the last 10 minutes; but then when the film ends you see how it was really a horror all along.

The performances are superb and so are the characters. Jay and Gal are not written to be likable, right from the off we see Jay through a negative lens, but that is the point. This film achieves something few others do, it takes characters that are fundamentally bad/unlikable and by the end it makes you care about them. In the final sequence of the film you want Gal and Jay to be okay, you really do.

The folk horror aspect is also really well done, as I mentioned before a good comparison would be The Wickerman, but there is also some Hereditary in there too. I think the ending is fascinating and it makes all of the events of the film take on a whole other meaning; a rewatch is a necessity. I loved how all the actions of the two main characters had been mapped out by the group and everything was leading up to that moment.

Overall, I think from a writing and structure point of view this film is a triumph and I think from a horror point of view this is also incredible. I think more people should see this as it seems to be quite unknown to some. One of the best films I have recently.

Pros.

The folk horror.

The crime thriller aspect.

Making you care about awful people.

The ending.

All of the little details.

Cons.

None

5/5

Reviewed By Luke

Wet Hot American Summer: A Wet Blanket?

Wet Hot American Summer is a comedy film directed by David Wain. The plot follows the events at Camp Firewood over the course of a summer. The film serves to spoof a lot of the camp-based sex comedies, it does this by knowingly being very over the top and pointing out the absurdity of it all; as you such you have things like talking cans.

I am not going to lie, I watched the Netflix made follow ups to this film before I saw the film itself, I loved them and so I went into this with very high expectations. Sadly, this is one of the few times that a Netflix revival/continuation is actually better than the film itself.

I get what this film was trying to do, I just didn’t find it funny. Maybe that’s because my sense of humour doesn’t line up with the humour of the early 2000’s and instead finds more kinship with the humour of the more recent Netflix series. I think the only character that made me laugh was the talking can and that is because H. John Benjamin can do no wrong.

I think as far as spoofs go this is well done, it parodies the sillier and more ridiculous nature of some of it’s contemporaries in a smart way that feels spot on. A lot of the characters and hijinks in this film will remind you of things from other camp-based sex comedies that you have seen, like American Pie Band Camp, by design of course.

Overall, I think this is a well-done spoof film, but an unfunny comedy film, so it is a mixed bag and it depends what you’re watching it for. I truly believe, heresy as it might be, that the Netflix follow-up series are far better and crucially funnier.

Pros.

A well-done spoof.

Interesting characters.

John Benjamin.

Cons.

It isn’t funny.

It fizzles out towards the end.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Wolf Creek: The Australian Michael Myers

Wolf Creek is an Australian horror thriller film directed by Greg Mclean. The plot follows a group of tourists that become targeted by a demented xenophobic serial killer who hunts them down with the intent to kill them. This film was based on a series of real-life backpacker murders that happened in Australia a few years before the film was released.

In horror circles, this film has a reputation, it is held up as being a great slasher film and one of the best Australian horror films. However when I put it on I was incredibly disappointed with it. I thought it was boring and that it couldn’t hold a candle to other Australian horror gems like The Babadook and Boar.

I thought the only redeemable thing about this film is John Jarrett. Jarrett is an Australian national treasure and his involvement with this is the thing that got me excited for it. He plays the evil killer Mick Taylor and he gives the best performance he can, he is manic and off the wall and his character is the only really memorable part of this film.

My issues start with the fact that this film is boring, there is only about 10 minutes of it that are actually interesting and watchable. This film suffers from some of the worst pacing issues I have seen in a long time, the first act is a chore to get through and makes you want to turn it off and it doesn’t pick up until the last 10 minutes; even they aren’t worth the wait.

The characters are bland and forgettable and the based on true story bent to it has been done to death and this film is not doing anything new or interesting with it.

Overall, this film is a bore and one that is a test of strength to finish

Pros.

John Jarrett.

Cons.

It is boring.

It does nothing new with the format.

The characters are paper thin.

It takes a lot to finish it.

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Silence Of The Lambs: A Nice Cut Of Meat

The Silence Of The Lambs is a thriller film directed by Jonathan Demme. The plot follows young FBI recruit Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster), as she attempts to track down the newly infamous serial killer Buffalo Bill and save a senator’s daughter. During the course of her investigation she turns to deranged cannibal phycologist Hannibal Lecture (Anthony Hopkins), for advice and help and the two then go on a twisted journey into madness and the evil that lives within.

This is a cinematic classic, for good reason, however until recently I had never seen this film before, so I decided that I would fix that mistake and it turns out this film is as excellent as everyone says it is. It is an acting masterclass and it is one of the best thriller films I have ever seen before in my life.

Firstly, the performances are great, Hopkins is of course the best and manages to give genuine chills every time he is onscreen being a truly menacing presence. However Foster is also an incredibly compelling lead and one that you want to see win. Also Ted Levine is terrific as sick, twisted, skinner Buffalo Bill he is convincing but also strangely sympathetic in his gender struggle.

The best thing about this film is the tension that courses throughout it. From the minute the investigation begins you can’t look away, you need to see it through, you want the answers as much as Foster’s character does. What’s more, the conversations between Lecture and Clarice are also incredibly well done and manage to be effortlessly dramatic and intense despite never becoming more than just a conversation.

There is no flab on this film’s run time, every second is vital and used to the fullest; that is the best compliment I can give this film. A true classic.

Pros.

The tension.

The acting.

The characters.

The mystery.

You can’t look away.

Cons.

None.

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Adventureland:Summer Love

Adventureland is a coming of age comedy drama film directed by Greg Mottola. The plot sees two young fairground workers James (Jessie Eisenberg), and Em (Kristen Stewart, fall in love over one crazy dysfunctional summer.

The chemistry Eisenberg and Stewart have is something else, though Eisenberg has great chemistry with other on-screen ladies like Imogen Poots, nothing compares to him and Stewart. They feel so on the same page, so similar, it’s weird; if they became a couple in real life it would feel like the most natural thing in the world. As a result the romance in this film feels very genuine and believable, which is the most important thing about a rom-com.

The characters in this film also feel very real, they are not just simple caricatures, they’re layered and deep. Though they do bad things from time to time they’re still likable because these mistakes they make are the same mistakes everyone makes; incredibly relatable.

The major downside of this film however is how poorly paced and slow it is. I had never realised this until I watched it again recently but, this film feels a lot longer than an hour and a half, everything in it feels drawn out to the point of boredom. There are big sections of this film that feel dull, however, just as you’re about to turn it off something interesting happens.

Overall, this is a touching sweet film about a very realistic romance which for the most part works, but it is so poorly paced that it makes you want to turn it off and give up many times. I genuinely don’t think there is enough here to be a feature length film, I think this could have worked a lot better as a short film. Crucially it is a mixed bag.

Pros.

The chemistry between Eisenberg and Stewart.

The believable romance.

The supporting characters.

Cons.

It is poorly paced.

It becomes boring after a point.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Sacrament: When Does Something Become Bad Taste?

The Sacrament is a horror thriller film directed by Ti West. The plot sees two Vice reporters Sam (AJ Bowen), and Jake (Joe Swanberg), tag along with Patrick (Kentucker Audley), to visit his sister Caroline (Amy Seimetz), in a remote commune somewhere in Africa. However, once they’re there they release that it is far from God’s Kingdom on Earth and things quickly turn murdery.

As you all know I go back and forth on Ti West as the director I really like House Of The Devil, but everything else I have seen from him has either left me cold, or I have outright hated. After having a conversation with someone about West they recommended that I watch this film and so I did and I have to say, I enjoyed it more than I thought I was going, but I have mixed feelings about it.

I think doing a found footage version of the Jones Town Mass Suicide is a risky move, even if they did call it something else. This film is apparently inspired by said mass suicide, but in parts it is almost beat for beat the same. This, in my opinion, is a risk that pays off as it adds a real sense of danger and tension to the film and the suicide scene itself stays with you a long time after you have seen it; it is truly haunting.

However, I think the suicide scene does go a little too far, it crosses a bridge of just being shocking for the sake of being shocking and enters into the realm of bad taste. We don’t need to watch a baby getting injected with poison for it to be an impactful scene, all of the people writhing around on the floor in an eerily realistic manor does that job just fine.

I think this is defiantly in the stronger half of West’s filmography for sure, the acting is great all round, there is a keen sense of unease and worry throughout. The drama feels slowly ramped up over the course of the film rather than it just happening near the end, which is one of the main things I don’t like about West’s other work; this film feels like it flows, rather than being in two halves like The Innkeepers.

Overall, I think this is a good effective horror movie, that pushes the boundaries of taste and maybe goes a little too far with it along the way. If you don’t like Eli Roth’s Hostel because of how it presents itself, you won’t like this. Definitely one to watch if you have the stomach for it.

Pros.

Good acting.

It flows well.

The sense of drama and danger.

The ending.

Cons.

The ending.

It goes too far.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke