Suspiria: Witches Everywhere

Suspiria is an Italian supernatural horror film directed by Dario Argento. The plot sees an American ballet dancer transfer to a prestigious German dance school. However, as Suzy (Jessica Harper), settles into her new life she soon comes to realise things are far more sinister than they appear; and a grizzly string of murders reinforces that point.

I enjoyed the dream like quality of this film, the breaks with reality helped in this respect as you were never quite sure whether what Suzy was seeing was real or whether it was some elaborate hallucination/ dream.

I thought though very crude by today’s standard, when the horror was used it was used well and even though the makeup and effects were not hugely scary it still served to unease me. It reminded me slightly of the first Nightmare On Elm Street film, in tone and aesthetic; clearly Freddy and Craven borrowed a few things.

I thought the acting was good, Harper didn’t have a huge amount to work with as most of her scenes would either be reactionary, or her running and or falling to the ground, but that was the way a lot of female characters were written in that time period of horror cinema, so it is not unusual.

Overall, I enjoyed this film I thought the dream like elements worked and it had a fun yet still scary campy horror vibe.

Pros.

The scares

The practical effects

The campy fun

The dream like parts and the accompanying music

Cons.

A poorly written female lead

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Saint Maud: The Lord Making You FEEL

Saint Maud is a British psychological horror film directed by Rose Glass. The plot sees clearly unhinged Maud (Morfydd Clark), begin caring for faded American movie star Amanda (Jennifer Ehle). As she is performing her duties as a private care nurse she can’t shake the feeling that she was made for more and that God is communicating through her or to her in some way. As her ‘connection’ with some form of higher being intensifies so does the horror.

I would say that this film is going to be very stark with viewers, you will either love it or you will hate it. That said however, I find myself somewhere in the middle. Though I think the premise and the story is well told and intriguing, I think structurally and as a horror film it is disappointing.

So, this is very much like Robert Egger’s The Witch, use your enjoyment of that film as a barometer for this. By that I mean it is incredibly slow, it builds and builds itself over time and then explodes in the final ten minutes into an all-out wild spectacle. I found myself bored by it for the majority and then these last ten minutes scared me and made me take notice.

I think the concept is interesting, the idea of is Maud really communing with some kind of higher power/ demon or is she just losing her mind has been done before, but never in as much detail as this. The film never gives you a definitive answer one way or the other it is entirely on you to decide. I enjoyed this aspect of it.

Overall, your enjoyment of this will come down to your horror sensibilities. I saw people leaving my screening mid film. I enjoyed what it was trying to do, however I found it to be a disappointment ultimately.

Pros.

The ending

The showdown, you know what I mean

The premise and the interesting plot

Cons.

It is not scary

It is very slow

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Hubie Halloween: Sick In The Street

Hubie Halloween is a comedy horror film directed by Steven Brill. The plot follows local Halloween safety expert Hubie (Adam Sandler), as he get wrapped up in a string of disappearances and strange goings on, is his plucky spirit and Swiss army thermos enough to save the day?

So, yes this is an Adam Sandler film were he is doing an accent? A lisp? It is not quite clear. I say that because those sort of Sandler films are nearly universally bad, Sandy Wexler, The Water Boy, Little Nickie, the only good one in my opinion is You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, so the moment I heard that voice I was worried. Though I have to say this is not bad.

Hubie is constantly mocked and belittled by those around him, and he is clearly supposed to be dumb. However, unlike something like the exploitative Sandy Wexler the film is not mocking Hubie for being the way he is or asking us the audience to laugh at him. Quite the contrary the film shows that because Hubie is such a pure soul he is the only one fit to save the day, it has a nice message that everyone can have their day, and actually feels positive.

The comedy is hit or miss for me, there are a few jokes that made me laugh. I enjoyed Steve Buscemi and though he had a small role he was easily the best part of the film. However, a lot of the more base jokes did nothing for me. Watching Hubie be sick in the street did nothing for me, is that supposed to be funny?

Overall, this is generally inoffensive and is enjoyable enough for one viewing. I am pleased to see the reverse course on mocking people who are dumb or different, and hope to see Sandler continue in that manner.

Pros.

Steve Buscemi

It has a nice message

One or two good jokes

Cons.

The sick, scat and dick jokes did nothing for me

This is low rent even by Sandler standards

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Leaving Las Vegas: The Life Of A Hollywood Screen Writer

Leaving Las Vegas is a romantic drama film directed by Mike Figgis. The plot sees disgraced, alcoholic screen writer Ben Sanderson (Nicolas Cage), retire to Las Vegas to drink himself to death. While there he meets prostitute Sera (Elisabeth Shue), and the two form a doomed romance.

For those looking for a wild Nicolas Cage film you won’t be disappointed here. There is plenty of Cage’s trademark strange sensibilities, but in a more subdue way. Cage delivers quite a dramatic powerhouse performance here; he is utterly captivating to watch.

The same can be said for Shue. This might be by favourite performance from her so far, (that I’ve seen), I truly bought that her character loved Ben and was just desperate to find someone who cared about here and didn’t just want to use her. I thought the romance between Ben and Sera was the definition of bittersweet, it was touching and felt like a slap to the face but one that you were happy to receive.

My one note would be that though it is brilliantly done it is incredibly, unrelentingly bleak. This film is a tragedy through and through and is quite upsetting. A warning to you there. I would say it is the sort of film that you need to watch something happy afterwards for sure.

Overall a heart-breaking masterpiece that deserves to be experienced as it has so much to say about the human condition, even if it is depressing in the highest degree.

Pros.

Cage

Shue

The comments on the human condition

The romance

Cons.

It is hard to watch at times and it does not apologies for that

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Ratatouille: There’s A Rat In My Kitchen What Am I Gonna Do?

Ratatouille is an animated family film directed by Brad Bird. The plot follows Remy (Patton Oswald), a rat who dreams of becoming a chief, as he teams up with out of his depth cook Linguini (Lou Romano), to become the ultimate cooking duo and change the face of the French culinary scene.

This had been on my list for a long time, I have seen most other Pixar films, but for one reason or another I just hadn’t gotten round to seeing this. Now after having seen it, I can say it is solidly middle ground for the studio.

I feel the film repeats a lot of plot beats from other Pixar films, the themes feel a bit too familiar. However, it is worse than that because not only do these themes and plot points feel done before, but they also feel like they have been done worse here.

The film didn’t really connect with me emotionally, and that is what makes or breaks a Pixar film. Though it has a few good cheer worthy moments, it seems to lack any kind of heart as a whole. Neither of the two main characters have any real charm or likeability, by the end I didn’t even care slightly about Linguini.

Another thing I noticed was the stark lack of any real kind of female representation. Yes there is one other female cook, who has all the personality of a brick, but she is basically just turned into a love interest for Linguini and has no kind of agency; also when her and Linguini are forced to kiss by Remy it is more than a little icky.

Overall, a very middling Pixar film that lacks any kind of heart and that is probably the least emotive of all of Pixar’s work, seriously Onward is better and that is saying something.

Pros.

A few cheery worthy moments

I liked how they developed the food critic character

It has a very distinct sense of personality

Cons.

It feels all too familiar

The two main characters aren’t very likeable or even interesting

Turning the only female character into a love interest

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Inheritance: Being Locked In An Underground Bunker Would Be Better Than Watching This!

Inheritance is a thriller film directed by Vaughn Stein. The plot revolves around Lauren (Lilly Collins), discovering that her recently deceased father has been keeping a man locked in a bunker on their property. She decides to get to bottom of this dark family secret.

Why cast Patrick Warburton, a veteran actor to have a nothing two-minute cameo? Warburton play’s said deceased father, who dies at the very beginning of the film, and doesn’t really come back in anything meaningful way, they could easily have had Lauren find another tape to have more of him, but no. It is a huge missed opportunity.

You have seen this film before, there is nothing original about it at all. There is a twist towards the end of the film, I won’t tell you what it is, but I bet you can guess what it is. I was hoping when I put this on that maybe the filmmakers were going to do something interesting with the man locked in the basement concept, but they don’t. It’s all just very average.

The one pro I will give this film is that Simon Pegg is good as the man in the basement Morgan Warner. I enjoy seeing Pegg experiment with playing darker characters that are more outside of his wheelhouse and this is an example of that. I thought even though the way they took his character was super obvious that Pegg still managed to completely nail the role and be captivating whenever he was on-screen

Overall, deeply generic and played out entirely as expected

Pros.

Simon Pegg is giving it his all

Cons.

They waste Patrick Warburton and most of the other cast members

Lilly Collins is entirely forgettable

It is incredibly predictable

You have seen this before and better

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Lobster: To Love Or To Transform?

The Lobster is an absurdist dystopian dark comedy film directed by Yorgos Lanthimos. The plot follows David (Colin Farrell), a man who moves to a special singles hotel once he finds out that his wife is cheating on him. Said hotel gives singles a set amount of time to find ‘the one’ or face being killed and turned into an animal.

This is truly a bizarre sort of film and I mean that as a compliment. The dystopian ideas herein, I have never seen imagined before and as a result of that this film feels wholly fresh and original, praise that I can’t give to many films these days.

This film has a wonderfully off-kilter sense of tension and threat that seems to reveal itself at the most unexpected of times. It can be quite a mild breakfast scene, that yes is a little strange but is not that out of the ordinary, but then someone gets their hand burnt in a toaster for touching themselves, just out of nowhere.

Farrell is strong here his performance easily makes the film. His David is a character who is hard to form a mind on, sometimes he is the stereotypical protagonist, a rootable figure that you want to see do well, but then sometimes he seems to far darker and more loathsome than that.

My one complaint of this film would be that the second act, when David runs away, stretches out for a bit too much and feels poorly paced. This isn’t helped by the fact the second act of the film also stuffs in a lot of information that somewhat ruins the genius simple premise.

Overall, a must watch for the sheer originality alone.

Pros.

Colin Farrell

The premise

The originality

Olivia Coleman

Cons.

The second act has far too much going on and also far too much bloat.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Little: Proud To Be Generic

Little is a fantasy comedy film directed by Tina Gordon. The plot sees mean boss Jordan (Regina Hall), get turned into a kid again to teach her some kind of lesson. As a result of this Jordan has to go back to school and face her demons once again, gaining some life lessons in the process.

So, if that feels familiar to you, it is because it is. There have been so many films that have either had this premise or some slight variant on it, and frankly it is getting tiring. I won’t even get into the plot hole of why or how she is turned into a kid, because the film doesn’t care about that, but I will say the lesson’s this film preaches are the most obvious, lazy, samey ones that a million other films have promoted better in the past.

That is the crux of the issue with this film, it is not trying to be ‘good’, or even original it is just trying to repackage the same old same old and claim that is new. All of the characters feel like cliches, and the level of development they get is so minuscule that it might be none. The film wastes most of its cast and has some only be on screen briefly for the purpose of an ill time gag and then just abandons them.

Regina Hall is mildly funny whenever she is onscreen, but this film reduces her to short bursts at the start and end, clearly they couldn’t afford her rate.

Overall, this is only watchable as easy mindless dross if there really isn’t anything else on. It is nothing new and it seems almost proud of that.

Pros.

It is watchable

Hall

Cons.

It is proud of being a retread

It is not funny

The child actor is bad

The premise is incredibly generic

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Delivery Man: Don’t Trust The Banks, Sperm Banks

Delivery Man is a comedy drama film directed by Ken Scott based on 2011 Canadian film Starbuck. The plot follows David (Vince Vaughn), a meat delivery driver whose life is going nowhere fast, that is until one day he finds out he is the father to over 500 kids as a result of an incompetent sperm bank. He then has to decide whether he wants to be part of his kid’s life or not.

So, the biggest complaint I have seen levied against this film is that it is too sentimental. Now that is a non-issue for me because I like mushy films, but I have to say after seeing it that it is no mushier or more sentimental than most other feel good comedies.

Personally, I found this film to be quite touching. I enjoyed seeing Vaughn play a soft kinder role, rather than his usual jerk guy kind of persona. I thought he had a few good scenes here where he was able to flex his dramatic chops and he was quite good in them. I have often said that Vaughn is a deeply underrated dramatic actor.

The comedy of the film also worked for me. I thought that Chris Pratt was the star on this front, his weary life beaten dad character worked nicely against a more optimistic Vaughn. There were several jokes that made me laugh out loud and I was often smiling; both of which are good signs.

Overall, I found this to be quite a pleasant watch both Pratt and Vaughn were good, and the film made me laugh, would recommend if you’re looking for an easy watch.

Pros.

Vaughn playing a slightly different type of characters

Vaughn’s few dramatic moments, that he nails

The jokes and Chris Pratt

The feel-good wholesome message

Cons.

Outside of Vaughn and Pratt the film wastes most of its cast

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Sputnik: The Realities Of The Russian Space Program

Sputnik is a Russian horror film directed by Egor Abramenko. The plot retells the events surrounding the Sputnik USSR space mission, this time when the cosmonauts return to Earth they bring with them, unknowingly, an alien parasite.

So this film is far from perfect, but it does do a few things right. Firstly the look of the alien itself is really convincing, though it is only used sparingly, the CGI on it looks top notch. I was honestly shocked by how good it was. Secondly, the horror and the tension is effective when used and there were multiple moments that had me in a cold sweat.

My main issue with this film is the staggering pacing issues. There are parts of this film that feel so slow that you almost want to give up with the film all together. These might only be ten-minute segments, but they feel like hours of your time. Moreover, I wasn’t really sold by any of the acting, it all just felt very average to me; no one blew me away.

Overall, though there are good elements and the CGI is strikingly good, it just isn’t enough to keep your attention during the slow parts. The acting doesn’t invoke anything and the scares though effective are spread too thin.

Pros.

A few good scares

The alien looks quite good

An engaging story when it is moving a quick pace

Cons.

Patchy acting

Painfully slow at times

It needed a few more good scares

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke