Fast 9: Hobbs And Shaw Did It Better

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Buckle up, this is going to be a long one.

Before we get into the main review I just want to say that the actions of John Cena in the press tour for this film immediately make me like both him and this film less. For those that don’t know Cena said that Taiwan was a country, which it is, and then later retracted this and apologised to the Chinese market, more likely the Chinese government in Mandarin in perhaps the most grovelly way possible. Cena and the film itself lose a lot of respect from me for doing this.

My feelings on this film as a whole are deeply mixed. In truth I just don’t see why this franchise is around anymore it has lived long enough to jump the shark several times over by now and is certainly not getting better. This film feels particularly desperate as it brings back as many characters as it can in an effort to try and renew interest in the series, yet this seems an impossible task. Events like the return of Han would have had a bigger impact if it didn’t entirely destroy the lore of the series, but hey that’s overthinking it.

Another thing I want to draw attention to is the presence of the male gaze in these films. I understand these films are aimed at teenage boys, but the amount of butt and up the leg shots in this film is ridiculous. The film feels like it is trying to have its cake and eat it too by appealing to this teen audience in a pervy way, whilst also pushing home the strong independent women angle: the message is jarring and frankly more than a little insincere.

Honestly I don’t see where the series has to go from here, they literally go to space in this film there isn’t any way they can top that, unless the characters become superheroes as this film flirts with. Moreover, Charlize Theron’s Cypher was not a good villain in the last film so to see her brought back here, and then be implied to be coming back for the next film is infuriating as her character is ridiculously weak. Looks like the series will be going out with a whimper rather than a bang.

My only real enjoyment of this film came from laughing at how dumb it was, both intentionally and unintentionally. The real issue is that of the remaining cast few have the chemistry of a Dwayne Johnson or Jason Statham, and instead it is just Vin Diesel’s ego laid bare for around two and a half hours.

Overall, it is more of the same, yet the charm of the series is starting to wear out.

Pros.

The dumb fun

It is hilarious

Cons.

It doesn’t justify its existence

The male gaze

Far too many flash backs

It is on for way too long

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The Sixth Sense: I See Bruce Willis When He Actually Used To Care About Acting

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I feel like I would have enjoyed this film a lot more had I not known the twist going into it; sadly in the age of the internet that is near impossible.

My main takeaway from the film was that it was nice to see Bruce Willis actually trying to give a good performance, rather than just turning up to get paid. I would probably say Willis and his performance is the best part of the film, and you do become emotionally invested in the character as the film progresses.

However, I can’t say the same for the other lead character, Cole played by Haley Joel Osment. Now I won’t rip into the character too much as he is played by a child actor and they are usually not great, but I think the issues with Cole permeate beyond his acting and instead originate from the script. The writing of Cole as a character almost seems like it is going out of its way to make you dislike him.

The twist, which is always the most important part of a Shyamalan film, is good. Despite knowing what it was already which took away some of my enjoyment and makes me question the film’s rewatchability, I found it to be well done and quite clever.

Overall, good but far from a classic.

Pros.

Bruce Willis

A few good scares

The twist enhances the film

Cons.
Cole

It is poorly paced

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iCarly: iFauxpologize

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This episode is of a very similar quality to the one before it, my concerns for this series are reinforced.

My main issue with this and the previous episode is Carly herself and her characterisation. She is portrayed as being deeply self-involved and almost unfeeling to anyone else: using them to boost herself and whatever she is doing. This continues here as she becomes the subject of an internet meme, however, said meme has a negative effect on her brother’s art exhibit. Carly doesn’t seem to hugely care about this until it affects her. I can only hope that this a surprisingly accurate meta commentary on influencers, and not what creatives think makes for a likeable character.

However, I did enjoy seeing the show call Carly out for this behaviour and thought Spencer’s hellish art exhibit going after Carly and online culture to be not only funny but accurate. Moreover, I like how the show then uses this as an example to lampoon cancel culture, which is really the main subject of the episode.

I think the series meta commentary is very much on point and well done, however the series can’t just rely on this for its humour and needs the characters to also have warm moments so that you still care enough about them to keep watching.

I didn’t find this episode as funny as I had the previous two, but it did make me smile several times. I thought the show referencing the ‘interesting’ meme was suitably amusing though I am glad they did not linger on it for too long.

Overall, this show needs to balance its broader lampooning of internet culture with likeable character moments sooner rather than later otherwise people will turn off.

Pros.

The jokes about cancel culture

Spenser’s art exhibit

Bringing back the ‘interesting’ meme

Cons.

Carly is still unlikeable

The meta commentary is starting to feel gimmicky

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The Power: Seventies London Has Never Been This Depressing Before On Screen

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Boy for this one you better have a hundred videos of kittens and puppies playing happily loaded up on your phone to fend off the dark thoughts, yes it is that depressing. My main criticism of this film is that I would not call it scary rather unpleasant and possibly distressing.

There are a number of scenes that feel suitably tense and that take you on a nice little ride, however, they are preceded by and followed by pointless scenes that go on and on forever- pacing issues a plenty.

I felt the acting was equally a mixed bag, some of the actors were giving strong memorable performances, whereas others just felt like they were playing themselves just in Seventies period clothing.

The ending of the film was perhaps the most contentious part of the film for me. The film heavily invests in one storyline, going out of its way to make you think that is the answer to the wider mystery, however, this is abandoned about twenty minutes from the end when something entirely out of left field happens. Again I am mixed on this because on the one hand it is a perfect use of a red herring, however, the actual ending doesn’t feel set up in any way therefore making it incredibly weak as a twist.

Overall, a very mixed bag that has more promise than issues just about.

Pros.

The lead performance

A few tense scenes

Good use of lighting and darkness

Cons.

A very slow start

The ending feels very abrupt

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Rick and Morty: Mort Dinner Rick Andre

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This will be my first Rick and Morty review, I have been a fan for a long time and I thought that I would start covering it on here so I could share my passion.

I was very mixed on season four of Rick and Morty it had a few hits but by a large it wasn’t of the same consistent quality as the previous season. However, if this first episode is anything to go by season five might be bringing the show back to its previous glory.

My favourite part of this episode was the evolving story of Morty and the wine. In an effort to age the wine for his dinner guest Rick sends the wine into another dimension wherein time moves differently whereby a few minutes to us is centuries to the inhabitants. Moreover, Morty is tasked with entering this dimension over and over again to get more wine, each time doing so managing to hurt someone or destroy something, thereby becoming basically the devil of their reality. What I enjoyed about this is the escalation, each time Morty goes back the people of the other dimension have evolved to defeat him, I think the idea is quite interesting and is used in a way that is both visually impressive and also funny.

Moreover, I like seeing Morty and his long time crush Jessica finally acting on their feelings for each other. Sadly it doesn’t pan out and the can is kicked further down the proverbial road. This would be my only downside of the episode, I would have liked to see Morty and Jessica finally get together and then have the two of them adventuring with Rick and seeing how that changed the dynamic. Wishful thinking for now.

I think the Rick story involving the arrival of his nemesis Mr Nimbus was the weakest part of the episode. Until the closing moments this story did nothing for me at all, it felt very random and slapdash, and I feel it could have been better done if Mr Nimbus had at least been mentioned before in the show. However, I did like the emotional pay off of this storyline, when Mr Nimbus ends up saving Rick, Jessica and Morty at the end of the episode: I thought the emotional growth of Rick as a character in this moment felt earned and mature. I would like to see Mr Nimbus return in the future, if only to further explore his relationship with Rick.

Overall, a very strong start to the season let’s hope it keeps up this level of quality

Pros.

The building of dramatic tension

Morty and Jessica

The emotional growth for Rick

Beth and Jerry have a funny bit

Cons.

Until the end the Mr Nimbus storyline is a dud.

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iCarly: iHate Carly

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

So by popular demand I will now be covering the new iCarly revival weekly. I thought this episode was nowhere near as strong as the first episode in a lot of ways, the cracks are starting to show.

Cosgrove and Trainor are still a delight, but the humour is getting weaker and weaker. I said in my previous review that the laugh track was not helping the show, and this only gets worse here. Characters will simply say a word and the canned laughter will be used- they aren’t even trying to be funny most of the time.

Moreover, the message of the episode was flawed. Carly forgives and eventually starts dating a guy that used to cyber bully her, but it is okay because he has reformed and is now a nice person: that on its own would be a fine episode arc. However, where it gets troublesome is that Carly forgives him for his troll-like origins, but then says he gives her ‘the ich’ when he starts doing spoken word poetry- really.

I think in this episode the writing for Carly is slightly off as you don’t really warm to her, she seems self-righteous and judgemental and worst of all deeply self-involved, which starts to make her a character you want to avoid. Personally I found the Spencer side story much better and more enjoyable.

Overall, Carly is heading down a path towards unlikability, I hope the show veers away from this.

Pros.

The Spencer side story

A few good jokes

The side characters

Cons.

The concept of ‘the ich’

The ending of the episode

Pros.

The action

The cinematography

Cons.

The dead zombie baby

The runtime and staggering pacing issues

It is repetitive

None of the characters are allowed to be interesting

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Loki: Lamentis

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I enjoyed this episode more than the last. I think it suffers from being a little too compact and could have done with another ten to twenty minutes to better flush out a few ideas, but that aside almost everything else is a homerun.

Firstly, the chemistry between Hiddleston’s Loki and Di Martino’s Sylvie is fantastic, and though this episode suffers a lack of Owen Wilson it does not suffer for it: as the back and forth between Hiddleston and Di Martino is easily as good if not better.

Secondly, this episode has huge ramifications not just for the wider series but for the MCU as a whole. There is a line in this episode, that I won’t say for spoilers sake, that will fundamentally alter how you see the TVA and that also recontextualises the whole series so far.

Thirdly, there are plenty of really good character moments here that remind you why you love these characters and this universe. My personal favourite of the episode was probably Loki’s drunken singing, but the dagger metaphor is strong to. There is a lot of excellent character work going on here that helps the series to be instantly memorable and likeable in a way that shows like TFTWS struggled with.

Overall, a very important episode that both put a smile on my face and changed my entire view of the show.

Pros.

The character moments

Loki and Sylvie’s back and forth

The line that changes everything

The ending

Cons.

The episode is too short and needed another ten minutes

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The Wave: Nowhere Is Safe From Tsunamis It Seems

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I think I might give up on the disaster genre, I try, and I try, and I try to get into these films but they all just feel the same to me, this is no different.

The film is deeply predictable and goes through all the regular stages of disaster films, a dad or husband who has had a spat with his family or his wife has to save them and also the world from certain doom due to some natural phenomena; of course he is the only person who can do this. It is tiresome.

I just long for something more original than this. Hell the film even has Danish acting legend Thomas Bo Larsen in it and yet they only give him a few lines and let him hang out in the background of a few scenes, it is a massive waste.

The actual spectacle of the film is good, but it pales in comparison to the natural reckonings brought to screen by films like The Day After Tomorrow. Ultimately in a lot of ways the film just feels very average.

Overall, not as good as you might have heard, very deeply average.

Pros.

The cinematography

A few tense scenes towards the end

The score works well

Cons.

Predictable

Wasting Thomas Bo Larsen

The Spectacle

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Father Of The Bride Part II: Slightly Less Sociopathic

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Whilst I gave the first Father Of The Bride film a hard time I do think this is marginally better. Mostly this is allowing to the fact that this film feels less whiney and cynical, and Steve Martin’s lead actually feels like a loving family man rather than a sociopath who wants to control everyone in his life.

In that regard I think the film does a lot better to make you feel sympathetic towards Martin’s character and to warm to him. There is a scene near the end when Martin is waiting outside the room as his wife gives birth worrying for her and their babies’ safety and we feel for him, this is a million miles away from the self-obsessed ego maniac in the first film that moaned about being comfortably off and living in a large house.

The stereotypes and accents are still an issue with the film’s comedy, and no they don’t age well as you can imagine. I found the film more emotionally feel good then I did funny, I had several moments where the film made me feel warm inside and I had no moments where the film made me laugh- or even really smile.

Overall, it is a shame as Martin is trying but sadly these films just aren’t very funny, to me at least.

Pros.

Less obnoxious

A few heart-warming moments

Cons.

It is not funny

The accents and the stereotypes

The plot makes very little sense

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Infinite: Mark Wahlberg’s Audition Tape For The Role Of Neo In The Matrix

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I was not aware there was a new Mark Wahlberg action film coming out. Did anyone know about this film? I certainly didn’t.

I found the concept for the film quite interesting, these two warring immortal factions that keep all of their memories when they die and are locked in a never ending war about the meaning of their existence. Though this intriguing premise is countered by all the plot holes that litter the film, and the logic the film uses to try and create stakes.

Moreover, though I usually like Wahlberg action films I actually think he is one of the weaker parts about this film and can’t pull of the Neo charm, as this film is basically a reskinned Matrix, that this film needs. Funnily enough Wahlberg’s previous incarnation was played by Dylan O’ Brien, and he would have made for a much better lead in my opinion.

I also thought Sophie Cookson was the surprise breakout star of this film and had all the best scenes. Though I was aware of Cookson from The Crucifixion she really shined here, and easily had more charm and charisma than Wahlberg for most of the film. Did I care if Wahlberg’s character made it out of the final fight? Meh. Did I care if Cookson’s did? You better believe it. If they make a sequel make her the lead.

Overall, a passable science fiction action film that has enough dumb fun to keep you around, just don’t overthink it.

Pros.

Cookson

Mantzoukas

The premise

Cons.

Wahlberg

The plot holes

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