Halo: Unbound

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

One of the worst second episodes to a show I have ever seen. This will be my last time reviewing this show.

Where to begin…. The thing I had the biggest issue with was the fact that this episode let all the air out of the balloon in terms of the momentum the first episode set up and greatly slowed down the pace. I wasn’t expecting all that much from this second episode, especially after the mixed bag that the first episode was, but I was at least expecting it to not be dull, sadly that is too much to hope for.

Moreover, though last week I said I didn’t really care that this show completely ignored the games and the pre-established lore, well things changed here. Midway through the episode I realised that this show has the exact same problem as Netflix’s Witcher series, it takes character names and the franchise name but it makes something unrecognisable out of it. By all intents and purposes, this is just a deeply generic science fiction show with the Halo name slapped over it.

Further in that vein, Master Chief, played by Pablo Schreiber, is taking off his helmet so much here that you forget he even is Chief at times and think you are following a new if entirely forgettable character, but no.

I won’t even start on what they are doing with Cortana, but I will say yikes.

Overall a huge miss for Paramount +.

Pros.

Pablo Schreiber is really trying and deserves far better than this mess.

Cons.

This isn’t Halo

Master Chief constantly taking his helmet off

Cortana

The pacing

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Windfall: Netflix Needs To Stop Giving Lily Collins Work

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An ode to Hollywood that really didn’t understand the assignment.

This film did the impossible, it gave us a rare bad Jessie Plemons performance; a thing until recently I thought impossible. However, I will contextualise that point as no one is really good in this film as such how can anyone be bad? More so it is shades of average in terms of performance. Jason Segel is the most palatable, and it is nice to see him giving a straight dramatic performance without making dumb jokes. Lily Colins is just playing herself, it would have been more interesting to have cast Plemons’s real life wife Kristen Dunst in the role and played it that way but hey Colins is married to the director and that has to have some perks right? Plemons just seems tired here, there are a few scenes where it looks like he is going to give it his all but then he seems to run out of steam.

As I mentioned in the summary this film opens like a classic Hollywood picture and has the ego to think that it is the modern incarnation, but the noir esque sensibilities quickly get lost along the way as the film devolves into a very basic crime/ hostage film. Moreover, if the ending was going for shocking then it failed at that too as almost everyone must have seen that twist coming from a million miles away.

Overall, more drab fare for Netflix soon to be forgotten about.

Pros.

Segel is palatable

It is watchable if dull

Cons.

Colins

Plemons

It feels derivative

Umma: Mummy Issues

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A mother, played by Sandra Oh, and her daughter, played by Fivel Stewart, must contend with past ghosts that arrive after a death in the family.

So I will give this film props for originality, the Korean flavour to it helped to set it apart from a lot of other mother-daughter horror films out there, moreover, the mythology of the film feels likewise fresh and novel.

However, that is where the praise ends, as though there was some novelty to the film for the most part it was incredibly cliched and predictable. I don’t know if it is just because I watch a lot of films, but I could accurately work out from the opening five minutes where this film was going and how it was going to end and it did just that, not a surprise in store.

Moreover, the mother-daughter relationship between Oh and Stewarts’ characters felt like re-treading well worn ground, the relationship added little new to either the genre as a whole or to mother-daughter relationships in general, much like the wider conflict of the film we have seen it before.

Overall, though certain parts of the horror feel fresh it can’t mask the wider feeling of over familiarity and blandness on display here.

Pros.

The Korean inspiration to the horror

It is watchable

Cons.

The mother-daughter relationship

It is generic

It has been done better before

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Moon Knight: The Goldfish Problem

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Moon Knight, played by Oscar Isaac, makes his MCU debut.

I will preface this by saying comics-wise I am a huge Moon Knight fan, the Warren Ellis run on the character from a few years ago was fantastic, as such I have been very excited for this series. The first episode met my expectations for it, but struggled to exceed them as like many others have said this first episode was a lot of fun but it wasn’t perfect.

I enjoyed the fact that this episode felt like it had a different age rating from the rest of the MCU in that it actually allowed things to be gory or frightening and didn’t have to make everything so that it would appeal to audiences of all ages, this gave me some hope for characters like Ghost Rider and Punisher in the MCU.

Moreover, of what we have seen so far I appreciated Isaac’s performance, I know for some this accent is a little fake or grating, personally, though it may be a little confused, I didn’t find it off putting. Furthermore, I thought Isaac was good in his role as Stephen Grant, even though it is not comics accurate.

My one criticism of the episode would be that despite the mature tone of other parts of it the episode still forced in some of the MCU’s brand of ‘humour’ which didn’t land for me and instead often took me out of it. I hope as things get more serious we get less of it, but I know I am probably just wasting my breath.

Overall, a very promising start that looks set to make up for the short comings of other Disney + shows like Hawkeye.

Pros.

The blood and gore

Isaac

A fresh story in the MCU

It feels like how I would imagine Moon Knight from the comics

Cons.

Less humour please

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The Witcher Season Two: The Grey Tide Of Netflix’s Efforts Into Fantasy, How Not To Adapt.

Written by Luke Barnes

In a break from my reviewing tradition I want to take a minute today to talk about season two of the Witcher on Netflix, and why I couldn’t make it to the end of it despite being a fan of the books and the games.

So straight off the bat we have to debate whether this show even is the Witcher, like it is called that and has characters which bare the same names as those who appear in the books and the games but in most other ways it is devoid of the wider franchise and feels far closer to generic fantasy. Whether it is the fact that show choose to cut out so, so much from the books or the fact it changes so much of what it does keep there is just something about this show that just doesn’t feel like the Witcher to me.

Clearly this show is hell bent on appealing to the Twitter brigade, we all know who I am talking about, they have race swapped a number of key characters and are constantly queer baiting a relationship between Geralt, played by Henry Cavil, and Jaskier, played by Joey Batey. I am surprised more people aren’t annoyed about the queer baiting on this show as it is quite obviously leading to nothing and is a poor stand in for any real LGBTQ+ representation on the show. Moreover, the race swaps could have been used well, maybe even played some sort of role in the new story the show wants to tell, but no, they were done for no reason other than for the people behind the show to preach about how diverse their cast is. Yikes.

In addition, the effects are often quite poor, yes every now and again they get one sequence where the effects come together well but more often then not it doesn’t work. This might sound bias against Netflix, which is humorous as many people have called me a Netflix shill in the past, but there is a hue of their trademark cheapness to this show that really shows up more often than it should.

The scene that finally killed this show for me was when Eskel, played by Basil Eidenbenz, was turned into a monster and killed just for the random shock value of it despite only just being introduced and being important in the wider lore. They could have handled this scene in any number of better ways but they did it to prove their independence from the successful books the show is based on and show how there is no element of Sapkowski’s universe that this show won’t ruin.

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Pitch Perfect: When They Give Up On The Pretense That Adult Actors Are Uni Students

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of people, who are far too old to call themselves students, gather together for a university acapella tournament.

I may be alone in my belief, but I actually think that the Pitch Perfect films get better with each subsequent instalment, that is to say that when they get sillier and more out there I enjoy them more. As such I found this university set competition all too familiar and boring. What I wouldn’t have given for a boat chase or a global romance arc.

My main issue with this film is that it has been done before and feels far too similar to its predecessors, there is no drama or stakes as we all know where it is going. Moreover, rather than feel like characters each of the girls in the main group just feel like different stereotypes and cliches stitched together by an algorithm.

Furthermore, the villain of the piece, if you can call him that, Bumper Allen, played by Adam DeVine, is as paper thin as you can get. Moreover, the plot just abandons him when it realises it doesn’t need him anymore which makes no sense and reeks of convenient writing. Usually DeVine can save a project but this isn’t his day at all.

Overall, a weak start to the franchise.

Pros.

The songs

Anna Kendrick is a serviceable lead

The pacing

Cons.

DeVine

Most of the characters are cliched

It feels far too familiar

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Interview With Writer/Director/ Editor Hunter ‘Bueller’ Farris: Found Footage Dracula.

Written by Luke Barnes

I recently had the chance to interview writer/director Hunter ‘Buller’ Farris, about his new film Found Footage Dracula which serves as a reimagining of the classic tale of Dracula. In this interview we discuss Bram Stoker, The League Of Extradentary Gentlemen and the benefits to shooting films in the found footage style. I hope you enjoy.

Q: What made you want to make this film?

HF: Bram Stoker’s novel was written in a series of letters, journal entries, newspaper clippings, scientific writings, and half-a-dozen other formats, so I felt like found footage was the only way to capture the experience of what it feels like to read the original novel.

Q: What was the message you wanted to get across?

HF: I wanted to help audiences understand what it feels like to be an audience member in 1897, so this film could be an empathy machine and so this film could help us understand that our modern perspective is not the only perspective.

Q: What is your favourite vampire film?

HF: I’m going to be honest, I love the aesthetic of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003). The whole film is this wonderfully rule-of-cool dieselpunk dream.

Q: Why re-do Dracula?

HF: A lot of versions I’ve seen of Dracula take out some of my favourite parts of the novel, like Jonathan being manipulated by Castle Dracula, the voyage of the Demeter, and the character of Quincey P. Morris. So I wanted to put those parts back in. Also, no one has ever done Found Footage Dracula, and I feel like it’s the best way to capture the experience of what it’s like to read the original novel.

Q: What benefits do you find to shooting in the found footage style?

HF: Found footage is incredibly cheap, so we could pay all the cast and crew fairly for less than $2000 because you only need 1 or 2 people on set at a time. When your set doesn’t need fancy lighting, or a separate sound source, or PAs, or grips, or a DIT, you can film from anywhere in the world. So I was able to work with people I would never get to work with.

Q: What do you think your film contributes to the wider found footage genre?

HF: Most epistolary novels are exclusively letters. Bram Stoker’s novel expands that format to everything from invoices to journal entries, to a suicide note! To capture that feeling, I wanted to expand past the traditional form of found footage and use a dozen different sources of videos, like TikTok, Snapchat, podcasts, and even a doorcam!

Q: Any funny on set stories?

HF: Honestly, I can’t think of much that was funny. Weird? Yes. Comfortable? Yes. But not much funny.

Q: Future plans?

HF: We’re expanding to a cinematic universe, including Jekyll & Hyde as a social media screen movie, Dorian Grey as a juxtaposition of social media and private video, and The Phantom of the Opera as a fictional Making-Of documentary. And eventually, all of those will crossover, inspired by The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

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Found Footage Dracula

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Dracula finally goes found footage.

I have been excited to see this film for a while now, and now that I have I can say it lived up to my expectations. It was both what you would imagine it to be, a found footage film about Dracula but also so much more, I liked that this film was not afraid to do something different with the classic tale and mix things up, I thought the originality was both novel and refreshing.

I thought this film did a lot with its premise and filming methods and managed to be both entertaining and tense throughout. Just when I think the found footage sub-genre has started to dry up for good, something like this comes along and renews my faith in it.

My one critique of the film would be that it felt quite rushed. By that I mean the film could have been strengthened by adding ten or twenty minutes to the runtime as it would have allowed the film to come into its own just that bit more.

Overall, a very novel film that brings you a fresh take on a well-worn story.

Pros.

The originality

Making the most of the format

The performances

Entertaining and tense throughout

Cons.

The pacing had some issues, it could have done with being a bit longer

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The Last Witch Hunter: Diesel’s Greatest Performance Was Convincing Us He Was Into Fantasy

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Vin Diesel tries desperately to set up a new franchise so that when the Fast And The Furious ends he still gets some acting roles.

Deary me, what went wrong here?

I think this might have been the most miscast Diesel has ever been, I know he says that he is into dungeons and dragons and role play and all of that but his love for the fantasy genre does not come out here, he is just playing the same character he always does…. Himself.

The only reason this film gets a 1 from me is because of Rose Leslie, she tries hard and it is sad that her career never took off after Game Of Thrones in the same way other people’s did. Ultimately though with a lead as flat as Diesel this film was never going anywhere and it is a shame she hitched herself to it.

Moreover, I understand that the budget for this film was a little on the lower side for a ‘blockbuster’, but what was with the terrible special effects? Honestly they were some of the worst effects I have seen in a long while.

Overall, this film makes Gods Of Egypt look good.

Pros

Leslie

Cons.

Diesel can’t act

The special effects are god awful

It has horrible pacing

It feels very bland

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The Will Smith Smack: The Leading Man’s Reckoning With Toxic Masculinity

Written by Luke Barnes

I am writing this piece in response to the events that took place on Oscars night, regarding Will Smith and Chris Rock so I can better explain my thoughts on the matter. To look ahead, Smith comes across as bad in various different dimensions.

I read somewhere after the fact that the biggest loser at the Oscars was Jada Pickett Smith, now what that article meant was that by getting up there and smacking Chris Rock her husband Will Smith made the whole thing about himself, he took her struggle and her power and made it about his own ego. I think, as I have said to some people, it would have been more effective for Smith to have said nothing and to have picked his moment, such as during his acceptance speech, to talk about his wife and her struggles and how proud he is of her, not only would this have shown him to be the bigger person but it would have also vastly eclipsed Rock’s comments. As it stands all Smith has done for his wife is simply amplify the issue and subjected them both to the Streisand effect, which for those unaware is when one’s actions to get people to stop talking about a thing in fact make them talk about it more.

Moreover, by physically assaulting Chris Rock Smith has proven himself to be classless, which in turn will effect how not just the industry sees him but also those who go to watch his films. There is a good reason his publicist immediately went to talk to him; he has damaged his image. Now do I think he will lose his Oscar, no, probably not, but I do think in the battle for hearts and minds he has shot himself in the foot. Why? Well, because violence is never the answer, certainly not in this context wherein Smith’s actions upstaged the whole night and stole the limelight away from everyone else-his wife included.

Lastly, consider this: some look towards celebrities to set an example for how they should behave and in that regard Smith’s actions are especially dangerous. Who is to say next week someone who watched the Oscars won’t go to a comedy set and hear a joke they don’t like and then walk up on stage, or more likely wait around afterwards, to hit the comic just like Smith did. Now in such a case I am not saying Smith would be responsible, but I am saying that as someone with a fanbase and as someone with influence he should think about the example he is setting and not behave in such an unprofessional manner.

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