iCarly: iObject Lewbert

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Several old faces from Carly’s past return in an effort to end her web show.

My, my how do you go from a first episode that by all accounts was very good and pushed the show as a whole forward to this? Quite frankly, this second episode might be one of the worst of the revival.

The most egregious thing is just how badly this episode wants to milk nostalgia, bringing back all of these old familiar faces to try and sue Carly, played by Miranda Cosgrove, thereby forcing in member berries in a way that couldn’t be more blatant. The court trial simply serves as a means to be like oh remember this person from this episode? Remember?

Moreover, this is only added to by the worst ending of an episode of iCarly possibly ever, whereby when it looks like Carly might have to face some consequences for her past misdeeds Spencer, played by Jerry Trainor, just buys her way out. The reason why this sucks is because it could have been an actual emotional moment which could have led to some character development for Carly or at the very least a shift in perspective, but no.

Additionally, this episode forces in a Harper, played by Laci Mosley, and Millicent, played by Jaidyn Triplett, side-plot that is the definition of time wasting. It goes nowhere and undoes a lot of the great Harper work the first episode does, reducing her back into the loud, obnoxious stereotype.

Overall, a sorry state of an episode made worse by the fact it followed such a good one.

Pros.

A few funny jokes

It is watchable

Cons.

The nostalgia baiting

The terrible ending and message of it

Reducing Harper back into a stereotype

Seemingly doing it best to stop any kind of character development

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The Digital Future: What Is Really Killing Cinema?

Written by Luke Barnes

In this piece I want to talk about the decline of Hollywood and how I believe the way we perceive and think about celebrities and the films industry in general is on course to rapidly change over the next few decades.

To break this down into two distinct sections, it will be changes to cinema as a whole first and then celebrities and stardom.

There is nothing I can say about the changing nature of the industry that hasn’t already been said. People, thanks to streaming and the pandemic, have become more and more accustomed to watching films at home, not just that but also having access to big screen releases immediately after they have come out in cinemas on VOD services. This won’t change, if anything the current 30- 45 days release window will likely shrink further, and though studios will still bring out big films in cinemas they can see the writing on the wall hence why they have all, except Sony, gone in on streaming services. There will always be big filmmakers who will work out different agreements with studios to get their films in cinemas but even then it won’t be for as long as it was in the past. You can give me all the piracy figures or say how this is killing cinema, but frankly piracy will always happen and is accounted for and these changes in release are not killing cinema just changing it in a more consumer friendly direction.

If you want to know what is actually killing cinema it is the bloated chains that think they can get away with charging close to 20 pounds for a single ticket, and that don’t care a lick about the cinema going experience.

As of the day of writing this the news is that Netflix is losing subscribers, and cinema purists are lording this as a win, it is not. Netflix’s loss of subscribers will have been accounted for, they knew people were angry at the price hikes and the cracking down on sharing passwords, they also knew that big series like Daredevil were leaving. This is not the loss for them that some people think it is, more shows will be cut and the infamous policy of greenlighting everything will most likely end.

Now onto celebrities, the old guard of movie stars are on their way out and those who are replacing them in the public eye aren’t really the same as classic movie stars, more often than not they are either influencers or activists. The latter of those two types is another reason I think that cinema has not bounced back to pre-covid levels, people are tired of millionaire actors telling them how to live their lives, or how to think. People want to be entertained by the films they watch not be lectured to. The reason why Marvel films and more broadly superhero films are able to keep cinema afloat, and make no mistake that is the case, is because for the most part they are apolitical. I know this won’t be a new take but many films now are more focused on delivering a social message and virtue signalling then they are on telling a story or actually being good- this is being picked up by audiences. Moreover, films that preach on American specific politics always lose interest with the rest of the world because though Americans think they are the centre of the world they really aren’t, and a lot of people turn off for a film that spends its time bashing either side of the American political spectrum.

I think due to this disillusionment towards the attitudes and statements of some celebrities more and more people are looking elsewhere for entertainment, this can be to classic shows on streaming services or to YouTube, Twitch or more widely social media, as such I don’t think Hollywood will ever bounce back to the pre-covid days.

This is a new era and like it or not there is no going back.    

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Moon Knight: The Friendly Type

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Moon Knight, played by Oscar Isaac, travels to Egypt to stop Arthur Harrow’s evil plan but loses the favour of the Gods.

So for the most part I thought this was a good episode, however I did have one major issue with the episode, but first to the good.

I really enjoyed the ending of this episode wherein Khonsu, voiced by F. Murray Abraham, gave Stephen the power to turn back the night sky, I thought it was visually very interesting and also that it sets up a lot of tantalising possibilities for both the Moon Knight show as well as work the wider MCU.

I also thought the big battle sequence was really well done. I liked seeing Mr Knight make another appearance even if it was only brief and I applaud the show for once again pushing the violence and the gore. It is still for the most part fairly family friendly but it is on track to break bad if it keeps this tone, maybe other darker shows like a Punisher or a Ghost Rider would be able to take things even further.

However, my big negative for this episode was the court room scene wherein the various different Egyptian gods spoke to Marc. My main issues was that this scene which should have been very big and vey epic felt small and underwhelming, when they started talking about mental illness and safe spaces I really rolled my eyes, it didn’t feel like a meeting of the Gods but rather a counselling session.

Overall a weaker episode to the ones before it but still fairly good, hopefully the show will actually give us Jake Lockley in the next episode and stop teasing us constantly.

Pros.

Mr Knight

The violence

The ending

Cons.

The constant teasing for Lockley

The courtroom scene didn’t feel very epic at all

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The Johnny Depp/Amber Heard Trial: The Criminal Neglect Of Male Victims Of Domestic Abuse

Written by Luke Barnes

In this piece I want to talk about the ongoing legal battles between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, I am fully aware that any day my views could be entirely changed if there was a smoking gun piece of evidence, and that not everyone will agree with what I am going to say but hey this is my take and it might later change.

As those of you who follow me on Twitter will know I have been team Depp for quite a while now, I think with the things Heard has done and said there is a lot of troublesome things that don’t quite add up. Moreover, I think there is a large amount of evidence to support her also being violent, if Johnny was, I remain mixed on that, and also having lied to police and various other legal professionals within the various trails after this all became public.

I do admit that I have been a fan of Depp since I was very young and this might all just be influenced by a hope that he isn’t the monster he is being made out to be as that would be hard to come to terms with. Maybe I am wrong and he is a vile abuser, it would upset me a lot but it is a possibility. However, I think regardless of that there is enough to suggest that Heard is not as innocent as she claims.

Moreover, I think it is very telling how a lot of the media are covering this story, despite numerous shady things done by Heard the focus is always on Depp as being the monster. This is done to propagate the harmful and frankly toxic view that men can’t be abused physically by women, and that in these situations it always has to be a male abuser, which is not only untrue but is frankly quite an outdated view. This can also be seen reflected by the fact that Depp lost most offers of work yet Heard gets to keep her role in the DCEU, this looks set to keep happening even if both of them are shown to be abusive towards one another- highlighting a double standard. If Depp is to lose all work so should Heard.

As I write this piece for you all the latest liable trial is still ongoing and it looks unlikely that this situation will change anytime soon, but all we can hope is that justice is served and that in terms of broader society male victims of domestic abuse are treated with more care and less sexist contempt.  

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The Rings Of Power: The Question Of 21st Century Fantasy

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Several old faces from Carly’s past return in an effort to end her web show.

My, my how do you go from a first episode that by all accounts was very good and pushed the show as a whole forward to this? Quite frankly, this second episode might be one of the worst of the revival.

The most egregious thing is just how badly this episode wants to milk nostalgia, bringing back all of these old familiar faces to try and sue Carly, played by Miranda Cosgrove, thereby forcing in member berries in a way that couldn’t be more blatant. The court trial simply serves as a means to be like oh remember this person from this episode? Remember?

Moreover, this is only added to by the worst ending of an episode of iCarly possibly ever, whereby when it looks like Carly might have to face some consequences for her past misdeeds Spencer, played by Jerry Trainor, just buys her way out. The reason why this sucks is because it could have been an actual emotional moment which could have led to some character development for Carly or at the very least a shift in perspective, but no.

Additionally, this episode forces in a Harper, played by Laci Mosley, and Millicent, played by Jaidyn Triplett, side-plot that is the definition of time wasting. It goes nowhere and undoes a lot of the great Harper work the first episode does, reducing her back into the loud, obnoxious stereotype.

Overall, a sorry state of an episode made worse by the fact it followed such a good one.

Pros.

A few funny jokes

It is watchable

Cons.

The nostalgia baiting

The terrible ending and message of it

Reducing Harper back into a stereotype

Seemingly doing it best to stop any kind of character development

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

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Human Resources Season 1: The Desperate Phallus

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A Big Mouth spin-off centred around the various different types of monsters that appear across the show.

I thought this show was considerably weaker than Big Mouth in quite a few ways, but still maintained enough charm to be watchable.

My main criticism of this show would be that if anything it is a little too over the top, like yes within Big Mouth there are a number of out there elements, but it never goes as far as seeing two dicks fight each other, or a full on orgy, both of which feature in this show as it crosses over into bad taste at times.

Moreover, the monsters themselves are in no way as interesting as the kids from Big Mouth, perhaps it is because they lose the relatability factor that the kids of the show have, or perhaps it is because they are demystified to a point whereby you know too much about them. Regardless of which it is you can’t shake the feeling that the characters just aren’t as good here.

I don’t think it is all bad as there are still some funny jokes, and Maury, voiced by Nick Kroll, is just as loveable as ever. However, Maury is given somewhat of a back seat here and therein lies another problem of the show it feels the need to force in a lot of new characters most of which just feel bland, I’m looking at you Emmy, voiced by Aidy Bryant.

Overall, an okay stand in for Big Mouth in the off season but nowhere close to being on the same level.

Pros.

Maury

Connie

A few good jokes

Cons.

A lot of bland new characters

It goes too far with the gross out, to the point of desperation

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Sabrina: Move Over Annabelle

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An Indonesian demon doll film.

I enjoyed the originality of the scares on display in this film, and that despite being a doll film which in and off itself is a very played out genre there is some originality here. Moreover, I also will commend this film for the lengths it goes to in terms of its physical effects, though at times you can tell it is very low budget when the demon woman, played by Asri Handayani, is featured you can tell the film is pulling out the stops. The look of the demon woman is constantly on point and well maintained.

However, where this film falls apart for me is that its tone is all over the place, sometimes it is scary and seems like a genuine horror film whereas other times it feels closer to a horror comedy as the campy elements start to play up. Furthermore, the film has awful pacing issues and has no business being on for almost two hours, what makes this especially bad is the fact that the film has several long drawn out flashback scenes that drag on and on.

Overall, though I appreciate the originality, the tone and the pacing issues really stop this film from being in any way above average.

Pros.

The originality

The make-up effects

The scares

Cons.

The pacing

The tone

The performances

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Why Me: In Search Of Answers

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Actor Pietro Sermonti goes in search of answers regarding how much our DNA predetermines our life.

I thought this documentary was quite informative and posed questions I had never really thought about before, I can say that I feel smarter for watching it.

Moreover, I thought the cast of talking heads the film brought together were a nice mix, I found them to be both knowledge able, but also from enough different areas and backgrounds that it never felt one sided in it’s exploration of the subject area.

Overall, interesting for about three quarters of the run time, sadly that other quarter really drags.

Pros.

It is interesting, for the most part

A good selection of talking heads

It is informative and I felt like I learnt something from it

Cons.

Pacing issues

Some sections went on for too long and approached boredom

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The Outfit: The Perfect Fit?

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A humble tailor, played by Mark Rylance, becomes wrapped up in a war between two rival Chicago gangs.

I thought this film leant a bit too heavily on Rylance, luckily he is more than capable of not only keeping it going but also elevating it, however without Rylance this film would be lost in a sea of mediocrity.

I thought for the few brief scenes he had Dylan O’Brien was a very welcome presence, and he also entirely lost himself in the role, however, the film kills him off early on and creates some what of a void for itself, as none of the other characters, bar Rylance, are in anyway interesting.

I enjoyed the mystery about Rylance’s characters past and found myself keenly invested in it. The same can’t be said for the warring gangs plotline which for the most part felt incredibly played out and more than a little overly familiar. The ending somewhat brought it all together to offer us something satisfying but even then I think the film could have gone further.

Overall, Mark Rylance makes this film what it is, but even he can’t propel it to greatness.

Pros.

Rylance

O’Brien

The mystery surrounding the lead’s past

Cons.

The central plot all felt very generic and familiar

The rest of the cast outside of Rylance and O’Brien are forgettable  

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The Contractor: A Wannabe Tom Clancy Film

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Yet another generic American military film, this time about a cash strapped soldier, played by Chris Pine, who becomes a private contractor to make ends meet only for it to go wrong.

This film felt like a Tom Clancy story without any of the smarts, or a David Makenzie film without the style. In many ways you have seen this film before, you know everything that happens in it and how it ends even before it has started, it is incredibly predictable.

Not only is it predictable but also aggressively boring as well. Yes, there is some competently put together action scenes and enough intrigue to at least keep you off your phone, but in no way is this film interesting. Kiefer Sutherland’s villain is obviously one from the get-go, so when he does betray Pine’s character you are left saying ‘finally’, rather than ‘ I didn’t see that coming’.

Another thing I didn’t like about this film was how little they gave Gillian Jacobs to do and how her role was worse than a cliché. Jacob’s plays the long suffering wife of Pine’s character and does seem to exist as a character or a person outside of him at least in the eyes of the film. I understand the film is a rough tough action film about men and war, but that doesn’t mean the female characters have to be reduced to barely human cliches good for raising kids and ignoring.

Overall, nothing you haven’t seen before.

Pros.

It is watchable

A few competent action scenes

Pine is serviceable

Cons.

It is dull

It is predictable

It reduces it’s female characters to less than cliches    

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