Things Heard And Seen: If The Sky Is Orange Don’t Get On Your Boat

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I had high hopes for this film from the Netflix preview, sadly it did not live up to them at all. The biggest issue with this film is that it is a cliché wrapped in a stereotype, there is nothing new or innovative about it. You have seen this film before time and time again and can guess what is going to happen before it happens as it is so formulaic.

Firstly I will say my only pro for the film, it is not out and out bad, it is watchable if you don’t mind being bored. However, that is where the pros end. The acting across the board is very average, deeply so, not one of the actors gives anything even barely resembling a good performance: the only one that could be argued for being on the better side, F. Murray Abraham, is side-lined and then killed off- as this film can’t allow anything other than average.

Moreover the horror/thriller aspects of this film are also incredibly weak, the supernatural aspect feels half baked, and the human horror feels done before, and done better at that. I was so unfazed by the spectacles on display in this film that I almost immediately forget about it after I finished watching it.

Overall, this is yet another film to add to Netflix’s ever growing catalogue of beige.

Pros.

F. Murray Abraham is trying his best

It is watchable

Cons.

It is dull, repetitive, and has been done better before

Most of the actors clearly aren’t trying

The ending is insanely predictable

The supernatural stuff goes nowhere and is poorly explained

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The Secret Life Of Pets 2: Animal Abuse

The Secret Life Of Pets 2

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film was so dull and uninspired that I almost turned it off. I have at length in the past said that I prefer bad films to boring ones, because even if the film is bad sometimes it is still fun to watch; boring films are never fun to watch.

I thought this film would be better than the first one for the simple fact that it didn’t have alleged abuser Louise C. K in it anymore, and though that is true, Patton Oswald still can’t make the film any better. The voice cast in this film really struggles to connect, Kevin Hart and Tiffany Haddish are playing animal versions of themselves, and everyone else just feels like they are there for a quick pay day.

The film feels like it is trying to have an emotional impact, yet it fails badly. This film felt like it was just repeating the same emotional beats as other films yet done in a worse way that felt less impactful and ultimately was forgotten about quicker.

I thought the biggest sin of this film was the fact that it had so many sub plots and side stories that it quickly became confused and muddled, made worse by the fact that a lot of these were dull to the point of tedium.

Overall, mildly better than the first film but still a far cry from a good, animated film.

Pros

Slightly more entertaining

Still mercifully short

Cons.

Boring

Predictable

Muddled

Interview: Blade King Voice Over Artist

Hey Everyone, I recently had the chance to chat to voice actor Blade King about what life is like as a VO artist, in the interview we talk about life on set, breaking into the industry and fond memories.

Q: How did you get into voice acting, what is your origin story?

A: Well I guess it starts with my unique ability to understand others as well as the ability to blend into the crowd at a moment’s notice.

Q: What was your first voice over project and how did/ do you feel about it now Vs then?

A: Nothing really big or out there, which is why I’m looking for something interesting and I’m down with almost anything, and I’d say it makes me feel unique no matter how small the part.

Q: If you could go back in time to when you were first starting out what would your advice to yourself be?

A: I’d have to say, be more confident and comfortable in your own abilities and use your traits to become a better you.

Q: How would you describe the process of being a voice actor?

A: I’d say slow if you are just starting out, but with the right kick can get you somewhere.

Q: What is a typical day on set like for you?

A: A typical day currently would be waking up next to my fiance and my baby daughter and seeing my baby girl grow each day.

Q: What was your best VO experience and what was your worst?

A: I’d have say VO ING with my friends on small projects

Q: Do you have any funny stories?

A: It would have to be how I can be pretty awkward at times when people meet me for the first time, lol one time someone caught me in a pic looking like a t-rex, I do not take super good photos when. I don’t know about it.

Q: Future plans/ where can people see you next?

A: well I’ll have to say it depends on you and the people who gives me the time of day I suppose lol.

If you enjoyed this Interview, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, one on one Q and As, the ability for you to tell me what to review next. And access to my game review catalogue Check it out!

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Meet The Blacks: Lazy

Meet The Blacks

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film did have some funny moments, despite what you may have heard. Though I would not say it was a laugh a minute, I also wouldn’t say that this film is as bad as it has been described; it made me laugh a few times and was an entertaining enough way to spend an evening.

The Purge parody I didn’t really understand? If there was a reason for doing it the film did not explain it. In terms of parody it was again okay, it was not as bad as the worst moments of the Movie films, nor was it as good as the better moments from the Movie films, it was all very average.

There isn’t a huge amount to say about this film as it is just deeply average. The performances weren’t great but then you never imagined they were going to be, it feels like a bunch of performers getting together and just goofing around and getting paid for it, which sadly doesn’t make the film fun or funny in the long run.

Overall, incredibly average, you can do much better than this film, but you can also do much worse.

Pros.

It is very watchable

A few funny jokes

Cons.

Most of the jokes don’t land

The parody seems a little pointless

It is very generic

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London Has Fallen: The Only Person Who Can Save Britain Is An American, Apparently

London Has Fallen

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I wanted a trashy action film and by god this film delivered. Now I am not saying this film is good by any means, it is dumb, and more than a little racist, but as a film to turn your mind off to you could do worse.

The main issue with this film is its rather obvious xenophobia, the film seems to have a distain for anyone who is not American, even showing the British people who help the lead as being subservient as no one can be as good as an American soldier. Moreover, there are a good few lines in here that are straight up racist which makes this film a little uncomfortable to watch.

Butler is serviceable enough in the lead, but his accent keeps slipping and it is annoying and jarring: one minute he will have an American accent next it will be back to his native Scottish- pick one and stick with it, it worked for Connery.

I thought this film was fun in a dumb, turn your brain off and watch people explode sort of way. I was entertained and I thought the films action scenes were well done feeling very real.

Overall, mindless entertainment lacking anything more, with racist moments and accent slips that make finishing the film hard.

Pros.

The action

The dumb spectacle

Cons.

Butler’s accent

The racism

The ending

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Star Wars Rebels: Series Overview

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I enjoyed watching Clone Wars, so I thought I would give this series a go and I have to say it was even better. I think from being one complete narrative that plays in order and has a central group of characters to focus on this show manages to take all the best parts from Clone Wars an expand them.

If you remember from my series overview of Clone Wars the two things that bothered me about that show were, how it jumped around in time and in and out of episode order as well as how it would have multi episode asides focusing on characters no one really cared about, neither of these issues this show. There are a few droid episodes that are a little weak, but they still tie in and feel like they have a place within the wider story.

The best thing this show does is expanding the Star Wars universe outward, building on pre-existing characters and ideas whilst also adding new characters and ideas. When I first began watching the show I wasn’t a huge fan of Ezra, in fact I found the character annoying, but as the show went on he grew on me and the same was true of a lot of other characters to a point that by the end I was sad to say goodbye.

A personal highlight for me was seeing Rex, Ahsoka and Maul crossover into this show, I thought the series really came alive when they featured heavily in episodes.

Overall, a wonderful piece of Star Wars content for new and returning fans alike.

Pros.

The crossover characters

Expanding Star Wars cannon

Everything with the Inquisitors

The surprisingly emotional ending

Cons.

A few weaker episodes that were not focused on the main cast of characters

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, one on one Q and As and the ability for you to tell me what to review next. Check it out

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In The Earth: Prophecies Of Doom For The Future Of The Pandemic

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I’ve been looking forward to the new Ben Wheatley, lockdown, horror film for some time and now that it is here I am mixed. There are strong points to the film like the performances and the wider mythology set up, however that is underpinned by an extreme sense of pretentiousness and an ending that doesn’t make a lick of sense.

I easily think the best thing about this film is the performance from Reese Shearsmith who plays unhinged with an air of charm and homeliness so well that it is frightening whenever he is on screen the film really comes alive. The main duo are also very serviceable, but never really match Shearsmith.

Moreover, I enjoyed the focus on creating a new British myth, derived from older tales and a shared idea of the creepiness that can be found in wooded areas across the world. I thought the monster, if you can call it that, was interesting and I thought it was a wise decision to never show it and leave even its existence shrouded in mystery and ambiguity.

Where the film starts to fall apart is in it’s third act. At this point the film stops making sense and things just happen and we the audience are just supposed to go along with it and accept them; including but not limited to the film’s abrupt end that leaves more questions than answers. Moreover, it is also in this part of the film were the quasi-religious and certainly overly pretentious dialogue reaches a fever pitch and starts to become irritating.

Overall, the sensibilities of Kill List are there, but they have been perverted by art house ego.

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, one on one Q and As and the ability for you to tell me what to review next. Check it out

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Stoaway: You Too Would Prefer The Cold Embrace Of Space To A Viewing Of This Film

Stowaway

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Netflix and generic science fiction are starting to become one in the same. All of Netflix’s science fiction output looks the same, blues and blacks with a heavy shadow over everything, they have the same plotlines and ask the same questions and they all have a shared sense of smugness wherein they view themselves as deeper and more poignant then they actually are.

I don’t know if I have just become jaded but I long for the days when films used to surprise me and used to take risks and do something shocking- now it is all just the same. I could accurately predict the events of this film from the first ten minutes of it, I could even work out who would make the ultimate sacrifice in the end, it was all blindingly obvious.

On that note, the worst performance in this film comes from Anna Kendrick- easily. NASA and various other space agencies train people for how to deal with situations in space and they wouldn’t send someone up who would, at first chance, immediately go against all that and do what they personally thought was right. The characters lofty sense of moral superiority is woefully short sighted as by her own actions she is condemning the lives of those around her, and even with the price her character pays, it doesn’t change the fact instead it just pushes her own virtue further; in a frankly insufferable way.

Overall, I think I will be more picky when selecting to watch Netflix originals in the future

Pros.

Toni Collette and Daniel Day Kim are trying

Cons.

Anna Kendrick

It feels samey

It is predicatable

The story makes no sense and is riddled with plot holes, that get deeper the more you think about them.

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, one on one Q and As and the ability for you to tell me what to review next. Check it out

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Spiral: Another Comedian Turns Serious

Spiral, From The Book Of Saw

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I had not planned to return to cinemas after this latest bit of lockdown, but one thing led to another and I ended up seeing this film. My thoughts on the Saw series are well documented, I thought the series ran itself into the ground somewhere around the fourth or fifth film with everything after that being borderline unwatchable. Jigsaw tried to take the series back to what made it good- the man himself, but even that failed to get more out of me than a meh.

I think this film had some of the same issues as the other films, but also managed to be fun enough that you can ignore them. The issues with this film was all on the writing front, the mystery is blatantly obvious, and the twist is easy to figure out midway through the film. Moreover, much like everything after the third film, this is very much in the shadow of John Kramer’s jigsaw and the series is still trying to fill the void with ‘imitators’, but once again they can’t compare.

I enjoyed Chris Rock as the lead in this film he gives a fairly competent turn and manages to sell both the drama and the comedy- he made me laugh quite a few times throughout the film. Likewise Samuel L. Jackson steals the screen whenever he is on it, and though his character isn’t given a ton to do he strengthens the film immensely.

I found this film perfectly got the essence of the traps down to a tee. They were not overly gory or clearly done for shock value, yet they were intense and wince inducing- just as you would want them to be. Furthermore, there aren’t that many traps actually in the film, which on paper seems like a bad thing but in execution actually makes the few we get to see in the film even better and more significant.

Overall, the best thing to come out of the Saw franchise in well over a decade.

Pros.

Rock

Jackson

The traps

The ending

Cons.

The mystery and the twist are poor

It is still trying to fill that Jigsaw void

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Mainstream: The Product Of A Society That Has Lost It’s Way In It’s Blind Devotion To All Things Celebrity

Mainstream

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This was a very positive surprise. Not only did I find the societal message of this film to be surprisingly insightful, I also thought it boasted a very talented cast that really came together to make the film something special.

I have been saying for a while that Maya Hawke was going to go on to be a phenomenal talent; the last season of Stranger Things was all the proof I needed, but this film proves it beyond any doubt. Even with such praise, she is not the standout of the film, though she does give an electric performance. The standout of the film is Andrew Garfield as the mysterious Link, who seems to exist outside the standard society we all find ourselves in and who uses this edge to become a Youtube sensation. Garfield is simply outstanding in the role, he manages to be both charming and also terrifying at the same time and you don’t know how to feel towards him as a result; he is a monster, but at the same time you want to see him win. I think it may be the performance of Garfield’s career so far.

Likewise the message of the film spoke to me. I think this idea of lampooning influencer culture and pointing out all the harm it does to people, only then to become sucked into that world and addicted to the fame and money it provides to be a deeply intriguing point of exploration. I think though the film’s ending is a little muddled, I like how the film ends and responds to it’s own message and teachings.

The only point of criticism I would give this film is that I felt the love triangle was needless. There is a romance plot line, that turns into a love triangle for the drama, in this film that feels forced in, I suppose it is done under the guise of character development, but really it just feels like filler. Luckily this is kept to a minimum.

Overall, an incredibly strong film that needs to be seen.

Pros.

Garfield

The style

The message

The conflicting emotions you feel watching it

Cons.

The love triangle

The ending could be structured better

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