The Boss Baby: I’m Pretty Sure This Kid Is The Antichrist

The Boss Baby is an animated family comedy film directed by Tom McGrath. The plot sees a family welcome a new baby into their lives, however there is something different about this baby he wears a suit and talks on the phone: he is a boss baby.

I truly do believe to enjoy or even understand this film you need a degree in some field of high concept science, as the logic of this film is nowhere to be found. Normally, I would not go after the logic of a kid’s film, but this is particularly egregious. It almost feels at times like the film is going out of its way to make itself more confusing then it already is, it piles on more and more baby lore until you reach a giving up point.

By making the film so convoluted and over the top it removes a sense of relatability the film might have for parents who remember what is it like to have a new baby or for children who remember when their parents brought their sibling home from the hospital. To that end, once the bright colours, and the vapid jokes about poo and things like that are over there is nothing left for the kids to enjoy, they too will see its hollowness.

Alec Baldwin is okay as the titular Boss Baby, he is serviceable, but this is not one of his better 2010 era roles. Furthermore, it is nice to see Tobey McGuire return to our screens even if it is just as a voice over narrator it has been too long.

Overall, I fail to see how this was popular, it takes itself far too seriously and makes things far too complicated baffling viewers whilst simultaneously putting them off the film.
Pros.

Baldwin and McGuire

Cons.

It is too complicated

The jokes aren’t funny

Most of the characters are irritating and not relatable or likeable in any way

It wastes its wider supporting cast

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Castle Freak: A Collection Of The Most Unlikable Characters Ever Put To Film

Castle Freak is a horror film directed by Tate Steinsiek based on the H.P Lovecraft short story The Outsider. The plot follows Rebecca (Clair Catherine), a recently blind girl who travels to Albania after learning that her birth mother, who has recently died, has left her a castle. Naturally the circumstance around the mother’s death are shrouded in mystery and inferences of the supernatural.

Horror is my favourite genre; I have watched a lot of horror films in my time which makes what I am about to say all the more impactful: the characters in this film might be some of the most unlikeable and unpleasant protagonists in the history of the genre. Even the lead Rebecca is at best irritating, the cast for the most part seem to be a reflection on the worst parts of society, and I don’t know if this was done by choice, but I will assume not. It would make no sense if this was deliberate as you would and do end up feeling nothing when the characters are slaughtered later in the film, quite a large flaw.

Moreover, I am no prude when it comes to nudity, but I think this was a tad excessive. There is nothing wrong with a tastefully done nude scene, but here we have scenes that serve no narrative purpose other than to show off the bodies of the female stars, which frankly feels more than a little exploitative to me.

The gore and the kills are serviceable to good, but that is not enough to make up for the films many other shortcomings.

Pros.

The gore and the kills

Cons.

The characters are unlikeable

The first act is incredibly slow

They just dump a bunch of Old Gods information through exposition on the audience at the start of the second act, I found this confusing

The nudity seems a bit much

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Great Outdoors: Icky Homemade Sex Tapes

The Great Outdoors is a comedy film directed by Howard Dutch. The plot sees two families spending time together on holiday, however, one half of the family was not invited. Comedy, misunderstandings, and forgiveness ensue.

My thoughts on the work of John Hughes have been well documented, I often find them troublesome whether it is from the use of stereotypes or the more questionable sexual undertones, I find them reproachable. I understand that a lot of people love them because they grew up with them, and they will call me names and imply things about my politics for daring to suggest that maybe Hughes wasn’t as great as they remember, but hey these are my reviews.

Though Hughes only serves as a writer here you can feel his fingerprints all over the film.
Namely this comes through in the first scene where the two brother (John Candy and Dan Aykroyd), meet and there is a slightly uncomfortable scene with Aykroyd’s character recording his brother and his wife during an intermate moment for some kind of prank, I understand for the time this would be normal and not suspect but looking back on it now with a 2020 lens I would be remiss to not mention it.

The comedy comes and goes for me, it made me chuckle a few times throughout, but for the most part the comedy missed the mark with me and often left me cold; however, as I always say comedy is subjective. Personally, I didn’t find the slapstick funny if anything I found it cheap.

Candy is a likeable enough lead, he is easy to root to and warm to, Aykroyd on the other hand comes across as an arsehole, I understand by design but by the end of the film we are supposed to buy that as a character he has changed, he has reformed, yet we are given evidence right up until the closing frame that, no he hasn’t, which in turn makes the ending feel unearned.

Overall, a fairly standard to weak comedy

Pros.

Candy

A few funny jokes

Cons.

Aykroyd

A lot of the jokes don’t land

A few iffy moments

It is very familiar

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Ham, A Musical Memoir: An Ode To The Past

HAM: A Musical Memoir is a biographical, comedy, musical film directed by Andrew Putschoegl. The film serves to tell the story of Sam Harris’ rise to fame.

This is a very effecting film, in multiple sense of the word. While watching it I became fascinated with this persons rise to stardom, not only was I rooting for them I also became invested in them as a person.

During my time with the film I was frequently smiling, also there were quite a large amount of laughs to be had over the run time as well; not laugh out loud sorts of laughs but definitely a few strong chuckles. Moreover, the complexity of this film’s emotion transitions comedy and becomes something more. Quite a few times while watching I could feel the film pulling on my heart strings, I found the character plight effecting, the film did not need to be overt in this, it never felt manipulative with its emotional delivery, yet it had a strong impact.
I also enjoyed the musical elements of this film I thought they worked well and added a nice flavour to the standard biopic format. I think in many ways this film seems destined to change the format of the biopic genre as a whole or at least pump some fresh blood into it, as it takes the best elements of something like Rocketman and distils them into a more refined product.

Overall, a must watch, it will make you laugh it will make you cry and most importantly it is a great way to kill a few hours.

Pros.

It is funny

It nails the emotion

I was invested in the story

The musical elements work well

Cons.

The first act is quite slow

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Stand-In: Praising And Rewarding Sociopaths

The Stand In is a comedy drama film directed by Jamie Babbit. The plot follows a disgraced Hollywood comedy star and her double switching places, both are played by Drew Barrymore.

A lot of the responses I have seen to this film have been negative, and my own was likewise inclined. I think the main issue with this film is the fact that it is mean spirited. There will be a few light spoilers here to help me make my point so be forewarned.

From how I understood the film we are supposed to root for both characters the past her prime actor and the stand in, this is hard however, when the stand in treats the real actors like trash. The stand in abuses the real actor emotionally multiple times and goes out of her way to sabotage her life so she can get what she wants, and I guess that catches up to her in the end, but it makes her deeply unlikeable.

The jokes here don’t work, but as I always say comedy is subjective. I found the film to be more of a drama than a comedy especially towards the midpoint of the film, it felt to me more like a commentary on stardom and what comes after. The jokes again feel mean spirited and at the expense of someone who clearly has problems which makes them hard to laugh at.

Finally, I don’t like seeing T.J Miller in the film, mainly because he isn’t funny at when he tries to be it goes horribly the other way, but also because he is a terrible person and should not be cast.

Overall, this is the definition of a misfire.

Pros.

Barrymore is trying

Cons.

It is misguided

It is not funny

It is meanspirited

Casting T.J Miller

0.5/5 (Close to a zero, but Barrymore saved it)

Reviewed by Luke

Blood Vessel: If There Is One Thing We Know It Is That Nazi’s Love The Occult

Blood Vessel is a horror film directed by Justin Dix. The plot sees a group of survivors adrift at sea during the closing days of WW2, they have abandoned hope of being rescued that is until they find a deserted Nazi war ship pass them by.

This film is a perfect example of subverting expectations in a smart way. When I first put this film on, I thought that it was going to be a ghost ship and that one of the survivors would probably go crazy and start hunting down the rest, turning the film into a sea-based slasher film. However, there is a reveal midway through the film, that I won’t spoil as I think it is worth seeing fresh, that totally takes things in another direction.

The lore of said reveal is quickly set up and is surprisingly in-depth, the film manages to tell us a lot about what is going on and who is doing it without giving us a lot of boring slow exposition. The gore and the kills are strong, gore fans will be pleased to hear, with an excellent and bloody final showdown to boot; the ending itself perfectly sets up a continuation of the horror.

My one complaint would be that none of the characters were particularly interesting and for the most part felt like standard war time cliches.

Pros.

The horror

The reveal

The lore

The ending

Cons.

The characters are all quite forgettable

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Saw 5: A Breaking Point

Saw 5 is a horror film directed by David Hackl. The plot sees Jigsaw’s (Tobin Bell) latest apprentice Mark Hoffman (Costas Mandylor), go on the offensive when his secret looks like it is about to be exposed to the authorities.

This will be the last Saw film I will review, at least for a while, as everything I once liked about the series is dead and gone by this point. What remains is a hollow shell filled with exploitative shocks and gore that act as a desperate last attempt to reignite and in some cases retain audience interest in the series.

The gore and the traps have long since become repetitive and samey, though they might be slightly different from the last film, we have seen these traps before we know how they play out- the surprise is gone. The same can be said for the twists. Naturally, as with the other films there is a twist towards the end of the film and what was once a smart narrative tool that made you think the whole film is now just dumb and confusing.

I truly do believe that killing off Jigsaw was the worst thing that this series did to itself, as the apprentices that came afterwards just couldn’t live up to or hope to compete with Jigsaw and Bell’s terrific performance. Equally, the ever-brief flashbacks only serve to show us what we are missing out on by teasing us with more Jigsaw before taking it away once again.

Overall, this film represents everything wrong with the Saw franchise and the sequel in general.

Pros.

It is watchable if you have low standards

Cons.

It is dumb, any of the intelligence that was there during the first few films is truly dead

The gore and the traps feel played out and done for desperate attention

A lack of Jigsaw and Bell

The apprentices are incredibly dull and underdeveloped as characters

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Climax: Dance Until You Fall Down

Climax is a French psychological horror film directed by Gaspar Noe. The plot revolves around a dance troupe that unknowingly ingests LSD during an after-performance party, from their things quickly spiral out of control.

This will not be for everyone; I can’t stress that enough. Personally, I found it quite hard to get through and did almost turn it off a few times.

My main reason for this was the lack of any kind of narrative. Other than the dancers ingesting the drugs there is no real sense of plot from there on out, events happen, but they all feel disconnected and isolated perhaps by design. As well there are long drawn out dance sequences which border on the tedious frequently throughout the film and it makes the film a slog to get through.

There are a few tense scenes, such as when the kid dies or when the angry mob almost makes one of the girls kill herself. However, the issue with these scenes is that though well executed because they are so removed from everything else and almost abstract they lose all kind of meaning.

Moreover, don’t even get me started on the ending which is as smug and pretentious as you can get.

Overall, from my perspective this film has a lot of issues, however these issues seems deliberate, so, maybe someone lese with different cinematic sensibilities would like this film, but personally I found it a confusing, pretentious, mess.

Pros

Sofia Boutella

A few tense scenes

Cons.

It makes no real sense

The lack of a coherent narrative really hurts it

The ending is incredibly pretentious

It feels deliberately confusing

1.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Santa Claus: Assuming An Identity

The Santa Claus is a Christmas family comedy film directed by John Pasquin. The film sees a business man (Tim Allen), accidentally kill Santa Claus and then assume this identity and responsibilities, meanwhile he is fighting a custody battle with his ex-wife.

I truly do think that Tim Allen makes this film, he pulls of the charming everyman well and when he becomes Santa Claus he plays him with enough warmth and light that it is a near perfect incarnation of everything that entity stands for.

I enjoyed the darker undertones of the story, that you can see just from my slight plot description. I don’t know whether these were intentionally or just an unintended by product, but regardless it gave me something to laugh at during the film; I would guess it was more likely deliberate as these darker moments carry over into the sequel as well (review coming soon).

My one complaint would be that the custody plotline is not needed. There is already a lot going on with Allen’s character transforming into and becoming Santa Claus, we don’t need another fairly generic drama sub plot as well; it just makes the film feel cluttered and bloated.

Overall, this film is a lot of fun thanks in no small part to an excellent performance from Allen as well as a focus on the lore of Santa Claus.

Pros.

The transformation

Tim Allen

The darker and more sinister moments which I found funny

Cons.

The child custody subplot

Pacing issues

The wider supporting cast add nothing

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Show Dogs: The Low Point Of Will Arnett’s Career

Show Dogs is a buddy cop comedy film directed by Raja Gosnell. The plot follows an FBI agent (Will Arnett), who goes undercover in a dog show to try and recover a missing panda. By his side the whole time is tough LAPD street dog Max (Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges), can the two get on for long enough to solve the crime?

So, I won’t even get into the weird bestiality, abuse scene from this film that was cut. However, I will say that it is very odd to have a scene where the dogs are touched (for inspection purposes), but without their consent in the gentiles which is shown to be traumatic towards the dogs, and then have one of the dogs remark that it is normal and just something to accept, in a kid’s film. The message of this is frankly disgusting and an investigation should be launched into who wrote it and why.

That said, though this film is undeniably bad, there is some goofy fun to be had. If you can accept that this film is not trying to be good and instead laugh at it for what it is then you will enjoy it a lot more.

Arnett seems desperate to be somewhere else for most of the film and it makes you think how did they even get him to sign on in the first place, the same can be said for most of the performers in this film.

Moreover, the CGI effects, especially the ones on the dogs when they are talking, are just awfully bad and show just how cheap the production value of this film clearly is; it looks like something out of the early 00, though that would probably be more convincing.

Overall, if you want to watch a bad movie then this will do, but if you want an actually enjoyable, well made film then stay far, far away from this film.

Pros.

It is hilariously bad

Cons.

Arnett is awful and Ludacris is not much better

The story is joyless

The jokes don’t work

It looks cheap

The film feels icky even with the abuse scene taken out

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke