Star Wars The Acolyte Opening Two Episodes: How Long Before They Start Blaming The Toxic Fans

Summary

A live action Star Wars series based on the High Republic that no one wanted, I wonder how this will turn out?

Sometimes it keeps me awake at night what goes on at Lucasfilm, they have a massive era of the Star Wars universe that people really care about sitting right there and yet they do nothing with it. Why is that. In my mind the answer can only be that Disney wants to force people to like their Star Wars and even if they released films or series set when I am talking about it wouldn’t be theirs as they didn’t create it. I am of course talking about the Old Republic.

This series is set in the High Republic, an era that came into being under Disney and that they want you to like, bye bye Revan. Honestly, the setting alone is enough for me to loose interest, I just have no real reason to care about this era, and believe me from what I have seen so far they are not going to be doing anything to make anyone care.

So the idea of a secret Sith has some potential, however, in execution it all just falls apart. Amanda Stenberg cannot act, she behaves in much the same way many other girl boss characters have done in the past she has a pissed off look almost constantly plastered to her face and that’s it. She must have taken classes at the Alaqua Cox school of acting. At times I think to myself that Dafne Keen would have made a much better lead, as at least we know she can act.

The fact that the series tries to force us into believing that Carrie-Anne Moss is a still an action hero is frankly laughable. The fight scenes with her in the trailer looked incredibly fake and bad and I doubt you’d say they look much better in the show. That gets me to another point, the whole show from the sets to the makeup to the lightsabers all of it looks like it was done on the cheap. It looks very much like they didn’t have a budget and so just improvised, as I have said before it looks like a fan film not an actual production. I don’t know why this is, if they didn’t have faith in it and it got its budget slashed, if they wanted it to look bad for some reason, perhaps to own the trolls- the old She Hulk defence, or just because it was incompetently made. Could be a mix of all of them.

A final point and one that will no doubt get me some hate but it has to be pointed out, this series is very diverse as per the regulations over at Disney in order to try and get the most people in, but one key group seems to be missing out. There is a distinct lack of guys it feels a little strange that in this galaxy that is full of different races and species and what not that there is maybe only one or two here and there in minor roles. My question is again have Disney forgotten who the main audience for Star Wars is by all metrics and breakdowns, yes you guessed it young men. It seems like there is a desire to go out of their way with this one to have the cast be almost all female, that is fine if there was a reason for it, say a Nightsisters show, but this isn’t that this is supposed to be at the Jedi Temple. There are some guys around don’t get me wrong but it feels very heavily like Disney is pitching this show at women, and we get it Kathleen Kennedy thinks the force is female, but the viewing demographics aren’t. I guess my point here is that the show doesn’t actually feel very inclusive.

Overall, I think that unless it is a John and Dave venture I’ll be giving any future Star Wars project a miss.

1/5

Pros.

It had an interesting premise

Cons.

It isn’t inclusive

It doesn’t seem to know who it is for or what it wants to be

It doesn’t make you care about the characters, the setting, or the period

It looks cheap

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Kingdom Of The Planet Of The Apes: Have You Ever Heard Of Devolution, This Franchise Has

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ceaser is dead but now we have a new Ceaser look alike to go through the same exact themes as the last trilogy.

To be fair the new Ceaser doesn’t start off liking humans whereas the old one did, the new one comes to like them by about the first hour of the film so its not a huge difference. I suppose a difference here is that the film is not really about the struggle between men and apes but rather ape on ape war.

However, I think the real issue here is that the stakes are incredibly low. Maximus is supposed to be this Roman esque conqueror yet his beachside community is pretty small, moreover, where he could have been a good antagonist for several films and been built up to be a true nemesis for new Ceaser, he is just offed at the end of the film. It is very underwhelming.

The reason for him being offed is to once again go back to the well of human vs ape conflict because why try and do anything new when you can just repeat the beats of the last trilogy. Honestly, I found the relationship between new Ceaser, and Mae, Freya Allen, to just be stupid. She has sought him out, for a reason implied but never shared, she says how much she needs him but then betrays him, I guess you could say she lied there but then why did the narrative push the bond so much, and then finally she plans to kill him, for once again no reason at all, she could have just left and never seen him again. Mae might as well not have been in the film as she contributed very little, had a baffling motivation and only really existed to be like oh the humans are going to try and fight back.

Overall, this film could have been something great but it lived too much in the past with its fixation on Ceaser and its desire for more ape human conflict, we could have seen Maximus grow and develop and form a civilisation that new Ceaser had to fight against but no some birds killed him.

2.5/5

Pros.

It is interesting to see how the Apes have evolved

It sets up some interesting things for future movies, not the ape vs human stuff

It is fairly well paced

Cons.

The lead character is just Ceaser all over again

The human character makes no sense

They waste Maximus

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Tales Of The Empire: A Further Glimpse Into The Inquisitors

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Morgan Elsbeth and Barriss Offee, have their lives explored.

So for the most part I thought this was a really good anthology series. I liked that we got to see more of two groups that I am really interested in The Nightsisters and The Inquisitors, I think both are fascinating and would watch a solo show about either in a heartbeat.

I thought that Offee’s story was by far the better of the two, the majority of my complaints with the series come from the Morgan side of things but we will get there. It was interesting to see Offee go to the dark side, and see how easy it was for young Jedi’s to come to believe that the order was in fact evil and turn their backs on it. It was fairly predictable that she was going to go back to the light and she did, however, it led to her death and personally I would have liked to have seen her survive. Mainly because another Star Wars series I would like to watch is a The Path show that talks about the Jedi Underground and brings back some MIA Jedi’s such as Quinlan Vos and possible Kal Kestis and Merrin.

The Morgan Elsbeth episodes started out promising with a wider exploration of Dathomir but then got bogged down in Imperial intrigue and the vague set up of Thrawn. I understand why they choose her for the other half as she is important in the Ashoka show however I would have given them to someone else as I think watching her become mad with power felt a little boring.

Overall, more good than bad and some very welcome exploration.

3.5/5

Pros.

Offee’s journey

An exploration of the Inquisitors and The Nightsisters

It sets up a lot of interesting things

The animation is really well done

Cons.

The Morgan Elsbeth plotline gets bogged down

It has an iffy pace at times

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Transformers 40th Anniversary Event: A Glorified DVD Extra

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Most of the original cast from the very first Transformers series get back together to rerecord the first few episodes, and you get to watch them do it.

This experience made me realise I am not as big a Transformers fan as I thought I was. It also made me realise the dire state that the Transformers IP is in. Before the proceedings began we got a new look at the upcoming Chris Hemsworth film, which looks awful just awful who wants Megatron and Optimus Prime as slacker pals- no one is the answer. Then we saw a look at some children’s show which looked equally awful, my main takeaway from that was what a horrible to look that sight 3D animation is.

To me this experience which was just the first few episodes stitched back together again just stank of desperation. Paramount knows that it is in trouble, it is considering being bought out, so what does it do to make money it releases this. There is no artistry in this, no need to see it at the cinema, it is just like watching DVD extras at home. The irritating thing about it is that the first few episodes are split-screen between seeing what is happening in the episode and seeing the voice actors reading it out, this is incredibly distracting and I wish they had done it either with just them reading it, no cartoon, or with just the cartoon as is.

The most interesting bit of it was hearing some interviews with the original voice actors but again that was maybe 5 minutes of the wider runtime,

Overall, this feels like Paramount trying to fleece a cinema ticket out of die hard fans, and is nothing more than a glorified DVD extra.

1/5

Pros.

The interviews are entertaining

Cons.

There is not enough time spent talking to the original cast

The episodes are poorly spliced together, they should take out the ad break section to make it feel more cinematic

It is a glorified DVD extra

The split-screen is a bad choice

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The Bad Batch Season 3 Overview: One Last Time Into The Fire

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Batch are back for one last fight against the Empire.

I would say that this is the best Star Wars related piece of media in a long while. Now I am not saying season 3 is perfect, because there is still a little fat that could have been trimmed off it and a new episodes that felt like filler, such as when they brought back Ventress for no real reason.

However, that aside I thought this season was the best one yet, I think that though we did get some filler, it was far, far less than we had in previous seasons. For the most part the season kept to a terrific pace which kept the tension going throughout, episode double acts such as the one at Rex’s base were incredibly well done and were the best thing I have seen out of Star Wars in a long time.

Moreover, the emotional stakes they managed to create over the course of the season were incredible, I didn’t think they would be able to top the heartbreak that was Tech’s death last season, but they came damn close here. I think the final scene of the series between Hunter and Omega is incredibly powerful and will spark even the toughest Star Wars fan to have a tear in their eye.

Overall, the series ended on a high.

4.5/5

Pros.

The action

The stakes

Where it leaves off

The final charge of the clones

It pays off in so many ways

Cons.

I would have liked to see Rex arrive in the final episode

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The Death And Destruction Of Doctor Who As A Franchise: It Is Over Folks

Written by Luke Barnes

In this cinema issues article we are talking about how Doctor Who has become a sorry husk or shadow of its former self

Now a quick warning before we get into it, if you cannot handle someone else’s opinion, particularly one you disagree with then you need to stop reading this review and reflect on why that is and maybe get some help. I am allowed my opinion on Doctor Who as you are yours, sending me some death threats because you can’t stand what I am saying is not going to stop me and it just makes you look bad.

That out of the way lets begin, so a quick heads up I have not watched the first two episodes of the new season of Doctor Who and I don’t plan to, I have spoken to people who have and gleamed their opinions, and I have seen clips from it.

However, it seems my previous writing on Doctor Who and RTD was entirely right, I am have been quite vindicated with the latest episodes by all accounts. Doctor Who is no longer about time and space adventures but rather pushing a political message at the audience over and over again until they are begging for it to stop. Case in point there is a scene in the recent two episodes wherein one character brings another to task over their misuse of pronouns, why is this needed.

I have seen some commentary saying that this show is fighting in the culture wars and trying to fight back against growing right wing thought and all this, but I don’t think it is that deep, I just think RTD liked that he got attention for It’s A Sin so decided to keep doing that. My question ultimately with this show is who is it for now. What’s more where has the Disney money gone as the monsters and effects still look as bad as ever.

To add to all this the fanbase has been pretty split, but what is not helping is that we have already seen a number of people involved with the production calling out the fans and saying they are bigots of varying sorts. This does not buy you any good will and instead looks like a show that is insecure and knows that it doesn’t have the viewing figures to feel confident so has to try and shift the narrative. As again I predicted when these new seasons of Who not only don’t save the series but instead kill it for another 20+ years, they need someone to blame.

Despite it being all over my feed this will be the last I will be commenting on the show, but I will say this to you, why watch a show that doesn’t want you to watch it, are you a fan, if so the cast and creatives think you’re toxic, and personally I will not reward them with my rating figure and so will boycott the show. Expect more screaming about how evil the fans are before it gets cancelled for good next year.

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Knuckles: Life In The Fast Lane

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Knuckles, voiced by Idris Elba, is back and this time he is patching up father son relationships, or trying to at least.

I was really, really looking forward to this and possibly I went in expecting a bit too much. I thought this was going to be the next chapter in the Sonic universe, I was expecting much more in the way of cameos and maybe even some more games characters being introduced that were more Knuckles centric. Alas we didn’t get that, and maybe I expected too much, this was an incredibly self-contained show and without the opening credits, the villains being vaguely tied to Robotnik, and a brief first episode cameo, you could watch this and not even realise it was related to the wider Sonic universe.

Another odd choice was that the main character of this series isn’t Knuckles, but rather Wade Whipple, Adam Pally. Now there is nothing wrong with Wade he is quite a funny character and you can easily relate to and root for him, but he isn’t the show’s namesake. I expected far more time to learn who Knuckles as a character was, learn more of his back story, maybe through flashbacks to before the Owls attacked, but again no. We don’t learn much more about Knuckles from this show other than he likes grapes. That said I did like Wade’s quest to become a warrior and to defeat his dad, Cary Elwes, who was comically evil.

I also thought the bond between Wade and Knuckles was quite endearing, they genuinely seemed to care about each other, in a sort of human pet way, or maybe even a father and son way.

The humour of the show was good and it was mostly funny, there were a couple of times were they let a joke drag on for too long or repeated an unfunny joke but for the most part it was funny.

A final word I would like to say that no doubt will get me hate, but hey I am not going to stop, is that I liked that this show gave an upfront portrayal of the Jewish Shabat dinner and had a lot of good Jewish representation without reducing the characters to stereotypes or having it be all they are. I think in these politically divided times, I am writing this in May 2024, where antisemitism is on the rise and more and more people seemingly hate Jews, for something that is not their fault, they are not responsible for state policy, it is nice to see positive representation, it shouldn’t be needed to combat all the hate as the hate shouldn’t exist but that is the world we live in.

Overall, a nice, fun self-contained series but one that left me a little disappointed

3.5/5

It is funny

Wade and Knuckles

It provides much needed representation

It sets up new adventures

Cons.

It is not as big in scope as I would have liked it to be

It repeats a few unfunny jokes

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New Doctor Who: An Effort To Spread Sexual Themes On A Family Friendly Show

Written by Luke Barnes

This piece will talk about Doctor Who and how a show for children is in the process of being turned into a platform to push progressive propaganda to children, who don’t really have any sort of concepts about sexuality and gender roles and what not, when most families are just tuning in to watch a science fiction show about an alien going on adventures.

So before we get into this a disclaimer, as all of you who have read my reviews before will know I am a fairly centrist person politically, there are insane and bad people on both sides of the divide and I don’t think anyone should be hated regardless of their political affiliation, race, gender, sexuality or any of the rest of it. Though I am a harsh reviewer as is my custom I just want good shows that I can enjoy and that aren’t trying to be insidious, as is current year Doctor Who.

Personally, I think Who peaked with David Tennant and has been going down hill ever since, it is well known that the BBC almost cancelled it during the Whittaker tenure, and as many of you will know based on my reviews written then the overt progressive message which amounted to Whittaker turning and lecturing you ruined those seasons for me and drove me off the show. What these creatives don’t seem to understand is that people want escapism and not for their shows to get into hot button contemporary issues. Anyway, I returned to the show, against my better judgement, for the specials and my my the pronouns scene was every bit as bad as the Whittaker era rants, couple that with the Davros incident and how Russel T. Davies handled that and yes I knew things were only going to get worse.

When Davies came back I was hopeful he made some of the best seasons of Who after all, but then I started reading his interviews. In his Who absence Davies had made It’s A Sin a heavy LGBTQ+ show that was lauded, and it seems he has returned to Who to make season two of that show rather than a season of Doctor Who. The issue with this is that Who is a family science fiction show, It’s A Sin was a drama made for a different crowd, the two things are chalk and cheese. Yet Davies seemingly doesn’t understand that, he thinks that the current fans of Who are bigots and he wants to make all of the LGBTQ+ fans of the show feel heard and seen and so now will only appeal to them, if they exist. To call fans bigots when Captain Jack was a popular character is nothing short of nonsense.

Anyway, the new doctor has seconded this by not just calling fans bigots, he has also called them Gammons, UK slang for racist hicks, and told them to touch grass whilst giving a long speech about white mediocrity. I ask you who is this show for and why has the BBC allowed it to be made, it seemingly is going out of its way to alienate any possible viewers it can. It is the same tactic being deployed over and over again, they set up the narrative early on that the fandom are bigots so that when no one watches it or there is a backlash they can go see bigotry as though that will boost viewer counts, its to try and redirect blame from a disaster in the making.

In the same interview the new doctor also said that he wants to defeat a monster by twerking it to death or something like. This is symptomatic of the problem with new new Who this is trying to appeal to TikTok kids who don’t even know what Who is.

I’ll try and keep this brief as I know this will be the most controversial section of this piece. I think it is wrong for a family science fiction show to try and sexualise kids, now let me explain RTD has said in an interview that he wants to use these seasons to create a new religion and to make new generations of kids aware of the LGBTQ+ community, which is fine of the surface. There are also comments, from the new doctor saying that this is the ‘’gayest’’ season yet and it makes you think why does a kids show need to be straight or gay. Indeed the Rubicon was already crossed under Whittaker when the female doctor had romantic feelings towards her female companion. It feels like the show is trying to push sexual themes and what not onto kids either overtly or subliminally and I think that’s wrong. I think that there is no need for Doctor Who to be anything other than family friendly entertainment, it doesn’t need to be straight or gay, black or white, or any of these things it just needs to be fun and it seems like this go around that has been missed.

One has to wonder how far the BBC will let the boundary be pressed and what they will attempt to show in order to push boundaries and if it will even be suitable for families anymore.

If it is not yet clear, this new season of Who is not for you, who I assume is a fan, it is either for kids that don’t know it exists, or it is for marginalised people that have always been very welcomed in the Who community and who already feel seen, this is no longer Who, it is the adventures of the message and co.

Rebel Moon Part 2: This Time With More Scars And An Even Worse Haircut

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

As Netflix seems to exist to throw good money after bad and bring us the very worst films that an algorithm could come up with, we get yet another trip into Zack Snyder’s lifeless Starwars rip-off world, but hey if you don’t like it its because you like films made by a committee, Snyder paraphrase.

Where to even begin with this film. I think this film as well as its previous instalment makes us all owe WBD a big apology, everyone who ever took Snyder’s side and said but his DC films would have been good if they had just let him work was wrong. Categorically wrong. It is now clear to see that left unchecked to do the writing and the directing and the visuals and all this that Snyder is a hack who cannot make films. Michael Bay may make films for teen boys but at least he can do an action sequence and stich together a story, Snyder can’t do either despite people thinking he was good with action.

The story and the world just get worse all the time, with every detail we learn more about this world it makes less and less sense. Not just that the more you learn about it the more you see just how bafflingly dumb it is with coal powered space ships and hover carts that are pulled by horses, the whole physics of it just make no sense. It highlights how Snyder can’t write a script to save his life.

The cast are once again forced to appear here, I assume it is a Movie 43 style deal wherein no one wants to be in it they are just forced by legal means to turn up every day. I remember when the first film was savaged some of the actors said how upsetting that was for them and seemed to think they were making a film that was going to change the world, but sadly I have to break their delusions once again and say that they are starring in trash science fiction that will be forgotten after the next Adam Sandler film drops on Netflix which as everyone worth their salt knows is every other weekend.

Overall, if you ever doubted that Zack Synder is a hack director he has gone out of his way to prove it to you here.

0.5/5

Pros.

If you pause it for long enough Netflix will bring up recommendations for other shows and films you might like and some of them might be good and then you can watch them instead.

Cons.

It is stupid and the films eats its own tail with logic

The cast are barely even awake

It is too long

It is poorly made

It makes you angry that kids go hungry in this world whilst Hollywood throws money away on trash like this

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Fallout: Good Actors Locked Underground In A Vault Of Bad Writing

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Lucy, Ella Purnell, emerges from an underground vault to find the world is quite different after a nuclear apocalypse.

For the record I have played several of the Fallout games over the years, so I am very familiar with the franchise. Whilst I wouldn’t consider myself a massive fan I do have some regard for the game series, and so went into this sceptically.

In many senses this is an Amazon series in everything you would think that entails, you have the tokenistic diversity, which could add an interesting lens if it was not just done to tick off a box, the overtly left wing political themes, and of course the quasi feminist stans of the lead with elements of all the modern tropes of both the quirky girl and also the girl boss. It goes without saying that you can have a compelling lead in a TV series that is empowered and a feminist without having to use these tropes see Delores in Nolan’s other show Westworld. No in contemporary Hollywood there are pre-sets for a feminist and empowered woman, and they can only be that and if they aren’t then its sexist. It’s dumb.

It is a shame as Lucy is an interesting character who you do care about and want to go on this journey with, however, her characterisation is just widely off as she flits back and forth between the girl boss trope and the quirky I am so random girl trope as well. In many senses I view this writing as a disservice to Purnell who was great on Yellowjackets, but here she is reduced to acting out tropes. Not too go too off topic but have you noticed that when female directors and writers handle empowered female leads there is much more nuance to them they aren’t tropes, at least not often, and they are allowed to exist as they are. Whereas when its men writing them or directing them no no they can only be girl bosses or quirky I am so random type of girls, not always but most of the time, it is almost as though they are worried if they don’t show women in what they view a correct light they will be called sexist and cancelled. However, by reducing female characters to tropes they are still being sexist without wanting to appear sexist as they don’t take proper time to write them.Apparently a female writer handled some of the episodes but if that is the case then she again is propagating outdated tropes and cliches and limiting her own female lead, perhaps suggesting she has some internal sexism going on.

Anyway moving on, Walton Goggins is also terrific as the rodeo star turned ghoul who has lost his family, you really buy his lack of humanity and how this world has shaped him. As always Goggins does a great job with the material and brings a certain level of gravitas to the role that is sorely needed across the board here. The Brotherhood of Steel guy, Aaron Clifford Moten, is weak and feminised to such a point that at times he seems kind of pathetic, I understand the show wants us to root for him so it has to present him as being someone you root for but this isn’t the way. They try and be like oh what are his motivations what does he want and set up some moral ambiguity there but there really isn’t, it is perfectly clear the character is just self-serving. The key difference between him and Goggin’s character is that Goggin’s character is bad morally as he has been corrupted by the world, however, due to the opening sequence you can still see his humanity and root for him, whereas with Moten’s character there is never a scene that makes you root for or care for the character in anyway.

Finally, if you are a fan of the games then don’t watch this. It is at times wildly out of synch with any of the lore, and it doesn’t care about that which in an off itself is a problem. Many praise this show for caring so much about the games but if it did then it would have stuck to the lore, it has set dressing to pay lip service to the games and to get that praise but where it counts this series doesn’t care about them at all. The general road movie let’s explore the world style plot to the series narrative is fine it goes exactly how you would expect it too and unlike the first season of Westworld there are no real twists, there are a few things that it thinks are twists such as the raiders leader actually being misunderstood, but in contemporary Hollywood you could see those sort of reveals coming from the opening minutes of the series.

Overall, Purnell and Goggin’s try their best to elevate what is otherwise a very hollow adaption of a game series. For season two they need new writers.

1.5/5

Pros.

Purnell

Goggins

Cons.

It is preachy

Maximus is awful

The plot is stupid and obvious

It doesn’t care about the lore

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