Man VS Baby: Putting The Christ Back Into Christmas

Rowan Attinkson puts the Christ back into Christmas.

I mean that in several ways, he calls the Baby Jesus, this show features a school nativity plot line, and also it has moral lessons about helping the less fortunate at Christmas. This is a million miles away from other recent TV heroes such as LGBTQ+ rapist Carol on Pluribus, or the sea of other morally grey protagonists.

This short series is the short of slapstick you would expect of Atkinson and some times it does get a bit long in the tooth it is quite true particularly as it starts to escalate with the introduction of a dog later on in the run, however, for the most part it lands. Atkinson here, much to his personal chagrin, is probably one of his nicest and most self-less characters and goes out of his way to befriend and be nice to nearly everyone he meets, as referenced by the end feast scene.

Whilst this is more of what you would expect from Atkinson it is a nice winter warmer and does a lot to restore your sense of hope in your fellow man, and gives you a nice positive glow that few shows these days do. Just think of what Netflix could achieve if they made more things like this and less CGI slop about gay kids and monsters.

Overall, one of the better Christmas programs from the season.

4/5

Pros.

It is watchable

It is funny

It has charm

It has old school appeal

Cons.

It gets a bit repetitive in the end

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Stranger Things: The Final Episode

It is a shame we didn’t get more of this across the season. It would have been nice to have had this set up better, rather than have a 30 monitor Will coming out scene.

The action was good and the scope was good, for the first hour, it was fun seeing the gang fighting the military and Vecna, although the latter didn’t get to do much. Having Eleven’s friend die gave us some stakes. It is a real shame more characters didn’t die to give the finale a more final feeling rather than just to be continued.

I had issues with the ending, it makes no sense that Sarah Hamilton would just let them go, it makes no sense that the show wants you to believe that even with an 18 month time jump Nancy and Robin are good friends despite never sharing a scene together, it is also horribly paced and the ending wrap up takes longer than it does to beat Vecna.

I am glad they didn’t go down the road of oh Vecna was actually a goodie all along or try and redeem him, the scene of Joyce cutting his head off was earned. I really hated that we had to have a follow up scene to Will’s coming out between him and Mike that just added to the needless subplot, but hey they didn’t have him kill Vecna with a rainbow so that’s progress. Also I really hated the Jonathan and Steve scene wherein they set up Jonathan saving him hence why they have been quarreling all season.

It is also incredibly telling they gave Mr Wheeler nothing to do and made Hopper incompetent meanwhile Nancy was a deadeye.

Overall, it was better than the rest of the season but not hugely, they also forgot that Demegorgoans exist in the finale battle.

2/5

Pros.

It had some epic moments

It brought it to an neat end (this won’t be the end they’ll do a sequel series)

Cons.

The Will’s gay plotline went nowhere

Vecna didn’t have much to do

The plot holes

Cinema Issues: Netflix’s Doom

In this edition of Cinema Issues we will be talking about is the unsure future for Netflix in the aftermath of Stranger Things.

Netflix had three big shows that people cared about in the current year, they were Wednesday, Stranger Things and Squid Game. Two of those three programs have since ended. The issue becomes what is the value proposition for Netflix going forward, what do they have. Their only remaining, franchise, is you want to call it that which they can keep spamming out new seasons of is Wednesday now. They need new hits, there is an argument that can be made well they are about to get WBD so they will have lots of new content in the medium term, and that may be so, but I am talking about the short term after Stranger Things ends. You can imagine on the second of January masses of people all around the world cancelling Netflix, this is an immediate short term problem.

The issue has been for Netflix for quite some time that they are making slop for second screen viewing, a lot of Netflix originals have flopped after one season and been cancelled, there has been few truly good productions that has lasted the test of the time particularly in the modern era. Early Netflix had shows like House of Cards, Orange Is The New Black, Arrested Development etc, but modern Netflix just can’t seem to generate any more mega hits. This really is due to a focus on virality and the need to be the dominant thing online as opposed to quality. One only needs to look at the output of competitor Apple TV to see that Netflix is making a choice in putting internet clout chasing over quality.

Some people will say that Netflix has diversified and that it will be okay due to ventures in sports and gaming, however, the former may get someone to subscribe for a month to watch a game and then leave, but the latter hasn’t shown any potential to get people to come in at all, so the idea that this can make up for the lack of sure fire hits that litter Netflix’s future is lacking.

We could be awakening to a future wherein Netflix is no longer the big dog and has more direct competition, it may even lose some of its market share. These issues could be remedied in the medium term if they get WBD but in the short term there could be a good chance that Apple TV, Prime and Disney could gain ground.

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Emily In Paris Season 5: Making You Want To Burn A US Flag

Summary

The cultural cancer that is Emily In Paris is back for a 5^th season.

I thought that after reviewing the earlier seasons and then taking a break I was done with this show, but I decided to revisit it.

In light of modern events, the idea of American Exceptionalism particularly in Europe is more than a bad joke. Rather than help its allies out The US government would rather hangout with dictators and white supremacists, as such the US is pretty loathed right now by most of thinking Europe. The fact that the US thinks it can lecture Europe on policy, and encourage extremist parties in Europe , and maintain friendly relations is a joke, once again it is bad.

Europe didn’t need Emily’s brand of loud over the top, omg look at me energy, back when the first season came out, but now the idea of an American coming to Europe and telling them how to be, and being met with anything other than hostility is ridiculous to the point of being absurd. Emily doesn’t just spit on the French but the Italians get it this time as well. Every negative cultural stereotype you can imagine happens to Emily almost as soon as she arrives, seems nowhere can be as great as the US which seems to have multiple school shootings per day.

This show was conceived as mindless slop but has become so culturally loaded that I am surprised Netflix even allows this to air in Europe anymore.

Overall, this is why the US is loathed globally at the moment.

1/5

Pros.

At times this almost read like a knowing self-aware parody of American’s abroad, but that would be too clever for this show.

Cons.

American Exceptionalism was never real.

It is a hurtful collection of stereotypes

The characters are unlikeable

It is slop

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Stranger Things Season 5 Part Two: Stunning And Brave

Summary

This ladies and gentlemen is the moment Stranger Things died.

So the first half begun a worrying trend, or focusing on new characters which in turn limited the amount of time we got with the old ones, see Holly and Derek. For the second part you can add in Kai, an older character reintroduced, so technically like a new character, and much like Holly and Derek no one cares about her, she takes up time and gets in the way of character dynamics you actually care about.

Not that much actually happens in these episodes, mainly it is just characters talking in a room, Dustin and Steve have an argument, Nancy and Jonathan break up and then get back together? It is hard to tell, and Will says what every character has known since the first season and once again tries it on with his straight friend who isn’t interested. At times I skipped over some of these long drawn out monologues and pointless scenes as it was just a waste of time. Having Will come out isn’t brave or new it is about ten a penny with most Hollywood shows and films now, it was just cringe. You had a bit of action as Max left the Henry’s world but really that is it. It is just needless character drama.

What is the upside down, the mystery that has span the show, it is just a place in-between dimensions, and it is a gateway to a scary dimension, how clever how original.

Honestly, Paramount who just signed a deal with the Duffer Brothers should cancel it, as this is Game of Thrones all over again.

Overall, this season will make the rest of the show unwatchable.

0.5/5

Pros.

Mrs Wheeler finally getting something to do.

Cons.

It is boring

It wastes time with characters you don’t care about

Everything about Will

Nothing happens

What the upside down is

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A Merry Little Exmas: Jameela Jamil Should Have Been The Lead

Summary

Two people who are broken up use other people and then end up back together.

Honestly, this is the sort of film you would expect from Netflix at Christmas it is sappy, generic and feels like it was written by AI. Alicia Silverstone does her best here but she is largely wasted on a script that doesn’t seem to understand morality. As I said in the beginning both the characters use other people as place holders whilst they want to get back with their ex which doesn’t make them likable protagonists even in the slightest.

Jameela Jamil plays her usual persona of tall posh English woman with some relish, I enjoyed that she called out the two lead characters and was allowed to have some fun with the role, she probably had the closest thing to funny moments within the film if you want to call it that.

You would argue that there isn’t a lot to say about this film as it is just exactly what you would expect without much to set it apart or make for an interesting aside.

Overall, if you want a low rent Netflix Christmas film and don’t mind morally bankrupt characters then you’ll like this.

2/5

Pros.

Jamil

It is watchable

Cons.

It is generic

It is slow

The characters aren’t likeable

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Love Meghan At Christmas: A Fake Christmas At A Fake House

Summary

Meghan Markle is back to save Christmas.

Much like the Grinch here Meghan tries her best to seem affable to get guests to come around to her house and desperately appease her, but if they say something she doesn’t like she will steal their presents. You get this vibe when Prince Harry who you imagine has been kept forcibly locked under the stairs for the past season arrives in the final few minutes and thanks his wife ‘for having him’. I imagine his SS costume that he was going to get for Christmas will have gone missing now as Megrinch teaches him a lesson.

Jokes aside this is more of what Meghan does best hosting various Z list celebrities and having them speak wellness speak, as Meghan pretends that she is listening. All the while she is thinking about her campaign for President on the democratic nomination. The guests she has for the special are a mixture of cringe, quiet and pandering, they all make the same awkward small talk, some with more of a feeling of duress.

Meghan tries to pull out all the stops including wearing Christmas pyjamas and does manage to make it feel Christmassy, despite her being fake, not in her own house and with her kids off and out of sight.

The cringe never ends.

Overall, a funny experience if you watch it ironically and see how weird and out of touch Meghan is.

3/5

Pros.

It is funny not intentionally

It is short

The discomfort is real

Cons.

It is very fake feeling

It is more of the same

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Stranger Things Season 5 The First Batch: Without Stakes

Summary

Stranger Things begins its final season.

Really, I think this should have been released all at once rather than in parts, the issue with this approach is I can’t really feel favourably to the first batch of episodes, as it feels like they are building to something that never comes. The Vecna fight is cool I guess when he destroys the military, but it also makes how easily the gang beat him in season four seem incredibly poorly conceived.

The big ‘epic’ reveals of this batch are mostly either pretty meh, one of the bad kids Eleven hung out with in season two is back, or cringe such as Will feeling okay in himself means he gets psychic powers. Neither of these things land.

Then you have the fact that like most seasons the series would rather focus on other people rather than developing out the cast we already have, herein represented by the focus on Holly Wheeler, you need to have a child character so the kids can still watch it even though they don’t. As well as Linda Hamilton who seems to be playing Sarah Conner from Terminator Dark Fate. You could have given those roles in the story to Erica and possibly a somehow alive Brenner and it would have made much more sense.

The hellfire stuff was dumb and boring last season and should have been scrapped the fact it is still being rehashed here, as they can’t think of anything else for Dustin to do is a further show of bad writing.

Overall, it moves the pieces around the board and has some good moments, but it can’t give us surprises we care about and feels the need to force in yet more boring needless characters.

2.5/5

Pros.

Finally giving the Wheelers something to do

Having all the characters in one place

A darker feel

Cons.

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Strangers Things Retrospective: Slop Hidden In Plain Sight

Summary

Stranger Things is often held up as one of the great modern series, but upon watching it back a second time you see the power of Netflix and the hype people, to really overblow something to the nth degree.

The conspiracy ideas of the show are interesting, however, it is far too derivative, concepts like how Vecna kills people in season four, or the entire mystery of the first season feel like carbon copies of other things from the period such as the works of Stephen King and The Nightmare on Elm Street films.

The series as a whole doesn’t seem to want to know who it is for either, it has mature elements for adults, yet packs the story so full of melodrama that it could be called a YA show just as easy. The issue with the series as it aged is the fact that it really started to drink its own cool aid, and started to have these big pompous episodes on for far longer than a lot of prestige tv shows, and the reason they were so long, not because they were trying to unpack weighty issues and themes but because of all the filler.

The characterisation and the character writing in terms of motivation feel so inconsistent, characters change massively over the course of the show and not in consistent ways that makes sense for them, almost as though the writers forgot who they were between seasons and just decided to start over. They also flanderise characters, look at Will, people said from the very first episode he was gay, yet as the series progressed that is all he became. The whole of the fourth season was him whining as his straight friend wasn’t into him, it gets to a point where the characters becomes a cliché.

I think with Stranger Things to which I watched all four seasons in the lead up to this final season over the last month, it becomes very clear that if you stripped out the nostalgia, the premise and the soundtrack and just viewed it as a show based on its characters, writing, and themes that it was always slop. The nostalgia and the premise made you think it wasn’t so bad, but it was always slop we just didn’t see it.

Overall, the show is pretty mediocre.

2/5

Pros.

The soundtrack

The mystery as a concept, the more and more they explain of it the worse it gets.

Cons.

The character writing

The pace

The shallowness of it

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Animal Farm: Netflix Is Almost Fully Slop At This Point

Summary

Animal Farm for the TikTok generation.

Let’s not pretend that many of the people this film was aimed at had ever even read the book, one needs to say that many of the mindless drones who watched this film are a different farm animal from the ones primarily focused on in the film and that is sheep.

The fact the film featured a TikTok inspired dance sequence and shopping sequence shows you the sickening lack of subtly this film was going to approach the themes of the seminal book with. If you cannot tell yet this was not made for intellectual people.

Then they cast Seth Rogen in the role of Napolean, now Rogen is detestable for a few reasons, he is a self-hating Jewish person who spends an awful lot of his time apologising for being what he is, he has questionable involvement in the alleged crimes of James Franco, and also is the acceptable male buffoon character, whenever one of these left wing comedy tv shows/films are made. It is okay to laugh at him the show/film wants you to see how much of a loser he is as he debases himself. Rant over, whoever thought casting him here was a good idea needs firing, the central role of Napolean calls for someone with range who can convey the journey that the character is going on, perhaps a Shakespearean actor who can feel truly menacing, not Rogen who feels about as menacing as Shaggy from Scooby Doo. To say he lacks dramatic range is the understatement of the year.

They also cast a man to play the male role of Snowball, though of course this is done in the modern parlance wherein this is a man who thinks of himself as a woman, and Netflix thinks they are pushing boundaries by casting him, in a male role. This is stunt casting and little else.

On top of all that horrendousness you have the fact that the animation is the kind of horrible sterile CGI animation that everything is these days, the sort that makes you feel like it is made by robots rather than people.

Overall, everything about this endeavour feels soul crushing.

1/5

Pros.

You can use the noise of it to make sure you haven’t suddenly gone deaf.

Cons.

The animation

Rogen

It is brash garish and horrible

The political statement it makes

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