Countdown: Counting Down the Minutes Till I Die

Countdown is a film about an app that predicts when you’re going to die; it knows this because when the countdown reaches zero, an unseen force kills you. Does that sound lazy to you? Does it sound like the writers were just sat around a table trying to come up with an idea for a jump scare film that hasn’t been done a hundred times before, and one turns to the other and goes, “what about a demon app”? Because most likely, that is what it was like.

I am going to say right from the off that I didn’t like this film, it was lazy and dull and just felt like a cheap, rushed production so that they could get it out in time for Halloween. The idea is inherently dumb; the more you sit and think about it, the more you realise that the unfathomable amount of plot holes are actually hurting you.

The characters are, if you can even call them that, your generic group of teens, all the stereotypes are present here, they don’t even bother to develop them or, give them personality because that would be too much effort. The same can be said of the Countdown Demon, who is not special or, unique in any way it is just bland.

I thought that Truth or, Dare was the worst horror film I had ever seen, and I’ve seen some stinkers, but now this is the new number one. The thing I actively hate the most about this film is just how aggressively average it is, and how it seems to be proud of that fact.

I have been souring on jump scares for a while now, they’re often overused and, have become ineffective in most cases, because they’re so obvious. Countdown shows this perfectly; there is nothing scary about this film; it doesn’t have an atmosphere; it doesn’t have psychological horror; it just has tired played out jump scares.

We as a horror community deserve better than this, and this is the lowest common denominator trash, no time, effort or, energy was put into making this, all it does right is make other lousy horror films look good. I really do believe this film was just excreted out to take advantage of the Halloween window. This film makes me lose faith in horror, and where it’s going, it really does.

Please don’t see this film. It doesn’t deserve to make money. Studios should know that crap like this isn’t going to be successful, they should understand that if they want their horror films to make money, they have to try. This is a spit in the face of all good horror movies. While watching this film, I was counting down the minutes until the end.

0/5
Reviewed By Luke

Little Monsters: Neil Diamond 27 years later and better than ever!

Little Monsters is a Zombie romantic comedy, in a similar vein to something like Life After Beth. The plot of the film revolves around Dave, (Alexander England), who after being dumped by his girlfriend moves in with his sister and her son Felix, (Diesel La Torraca). One day when Dave takes Felix to school, he meets Miss Caroline, (Lupita Nyong’o). He becomes wholly smitten, after this, he agrees to chaperone his nephew’s school trip, to impress Miss Caroline; then zombies show up, and everything gets crazy.

Before I get into my thoughts on the film, I just want to say that I genuinely believe that the Zombie genre is dead, tapped, devoid of creativity. The same story lines and character types are recycled over and over; there is nothing new to say. They should be retired, even if only for a few years, and allowed to rest in peace.

To that extent, Little Monsters is nothing new, the idea of a Zombie Romantic Comedy has been done before, Life After Beth, Warm Bodies even Zombieland has elements of romance in it, so this plot element doesn’t make this film unique. Indeed it is quirky, and by having the child cast be quite involved at times, there is a novelty to it. However, this is just a new coat of paint on a tired, used concept, and there is no getting away from that fact.

The charm of the film comes from Alexander and Nyong’o’s performances. Both are instantly likeable and maintain this throughout, their romance is well done and feels earned, including a very touching rendition of ‘Sweet Caroline’, which may be one of my favourite in film songs of the year. The two actors have chemistry as well and make for a believable couple.

Josh Gad is also in this film he plays a children’s entertainer called Teddy McGiggle/ Nathan Schneider, whereas typically Gad is annoying and brings you out of the film with his over the top performance it works well here. Gad’s character is a depressed alcoholic who hates kids and views having sex with their mums as a way to get back at his child audience. So you can see that the character is going to be the over the top sort. Gad plays him to perfection savouring every second he gets to be on screen; he is most certainly a scene-stealer in this.

My major issue with this film aside from the distinct lack of originality is that the zombies don’t show up until a good 20 minutes into the film; maybe more. Based on the trailers I had seen before viewing this, I thought that Zombies would be a massive part of the film from the beginning, but that isn’t true. The first half an hour shows us how bad Dave’s life is, it drags out his breakup and the fact that he doesn’t try or, care about anything. I understand the film is doing this to show his character transformation later, but it just feels like bad writing; at best padding at worst tediously drawn out.

Overall, the first half-hour is missable, but once the zombies and Josh Gad’s character turn up, the film comes back to life. Little Monsters has very little in it that you haven’t seen before, probably done better, but it has some entertaining performances and an excellent performance of ‘Sweet Caroline’.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Shining: Kubrick’s Horror Classic

With the release of Doctor Sleep soon upon us, I thought I would rewatch and review the film that started it all the Shining. The Kubrick version, not the straight to TV version that King prefers.

The Shining is a psychological horror film released in 1980, based on the Stephen King book of the same name. The plot follows Jack Torrance, (Jack Nicholson), as he becomes the caretaker of the infamous Overlook Hotel, moving his family to the hotel for its off-season. The hotel is of course not what it appears to be, and soon all sorts of horrific happenings begin, with Jack and his son Danny at the centre of it.

The Shining is directed by one of the all-time great Film Auteurs Stanley Kubrick, and his fingerprints are all over this film, both stylistically and thematically. Kubrick’s direction help to tie together the human threat with the supernatural elements, creating a delightfully ambiguous narrative.

The horror of this film comes more from a sense of building mystery rather than, the much more prevalent these days, jump scares. I think this adds to the fear-inducing nature of the film, as nothing is presented out-rightly to you, so you have to use your imagination to piece together the blanks and figure out the truth; this allows the film to be far scarier than one that just shows you the monster.

What’s more the performances from the entire cast are electric, Jack Nicholson is wonderfully deranged from the off, but sinks further and further into madness as the film progress. That may perhaps be the one criticism I have of this film, Nicholson’s performance was manic from the beginning, rather than starting out standardly and then getting increasingly more menacing. This makes his endgame performance when he has fully devolved look less impressive.

Danny Lloyd as Danny Torrance is also amazing, being both sympathetic and creepy simultaneously, from the start of the film Danny’s conversations with his little finger are distressing, more so when he starts to lose time. To the credit of Lloyd, he manages to do all of this while still being likeable and a character you want to see survive. To be a child-star and be able to do both of these things is something that deserves praise.

Shelly Duvall, who plays Wendy Torrance, Jack’s Wife and Danny’s Mother is best of all. As she perfectly captures the fear being in a situation like that would create in her performance. We see this real sense of desperation on her behalf to try and save Danny in the film act of the film. As well as to try and help and later stop her husband. Kubrick’s actions towards Duvall have been well documented elsewhere as such I won’t go into them here today. Instead, I try and look past them when I watch the film.

My final point is that this film deviates from the book in several significant ways, such as questioning whether the supernatural elements of the story are real. Contrastingly, in the source material, they most certainly were. This adds a new layer to book readers who may think they know where the narrative is heading. In the same breath, it might annoy them. It’s just something worth noting.

Overall the Shining is still a chilling horror classic and one that still holds up almost 40 years later. A must watch for all fans of horror, and I hope Doctor Sleep can live up to the standards set by this film.

5/5
Reviewed by Luke

Zombieland 2: Sometimes Dead is Better

Zombieland 2, is the belated sequel to the cult classic horror-comedy of 2009. The film, much like the first follows our group of unlikely loveable survivors as they try and stay alive in the zombie apocalypse. Double Tap, a reference to one of Columbus’, (Jessie Eisenberg), rules for surviving Zombieland from the first film, takes place ten years after the end of the original. The plot revolves around Tallahassee, (Woody Harelson), Columbus and Wichita, (Emma Stone), as they try and find Little Rock, (Abigail Breslin) after she departs the group and tries to find herself and a cute guy; so she can have the idyllic family life.

If that message seems odd to you, it’s one of many. This film feels like it was made ten years ago, a lot of the jokes feel dated and in poor taste. I’m not saying every movie has to be PC and can’t say what they want to say; I’m just saying some of the messages in this film are troublesome.

The character of Madison, (Zoey Deutch), encapsulates this precisely, she is a new character to this film, and she first runs into the characters when she meets Tallahassee and Columbus in a mall. She then sleeps with Columbus despite him seemingly loving Wichita, who at this point in the film has run off for a month because the prospect of marriage scared her, but like many of the characters joke in the movie, he moves on really quickly and not only does his undercut the love between him and Wichita, but it also serves to assassinate his character. Which makes the final moments of the film feel cheap and unbelievable.

Furthermore, Madison is the embodiment of everything that is wrong with this sequel; the original main characters almost feel pushed to the side, just to focus on the film’s new characters who are all boring and underdeveloped. In addition to this, most of the new characters are only included to allow these tiresome recurring jokes. An example of this is Madison herself; her main character trait is that she is dumb, a bimbo, you’ll be damned to forget that in this film as there is a joke about her lack of intelligence every five seconds, something this film doesn’t seem to understand is that repetition doesn’t make a joke funny.

What’s more, as you have probably seen in those woeful trailers, there is a prolonged scene in which new survivors show up, who are basically copies of Columbus and Tallahassee and they can’t see it. Isn’t that funny? These characters are only included for that joke, and the film drags it out and drags it out, and it’s just not funny. We could have had more scenes that added to the story of our four main characters but, no we need this ten-minute unfunny joke.

I wish I could say that this was just a sequel that didn’t need to be made, but it is far far worse than that. This film tarnishes the original by making characters do things they wouldn’t do, just to set up a cliched boring narrative. This film spits in the face of the original and looks smug about it. Harrelson is the only person who looks like he wants to be there; he is the one saving grace. Double Tap has a joke about women Suffrage just casually thrown in, and it feels so out of place and out of touch. This film should have either come out ten years ago or, just not at all.

Sometimes dead is better.

1.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

My Top 5 Halloween Film Recommendations

Halloween is fast approaching as a self- proclaimed Horror enthusiast, I thought I would write today and give you five recommendations of films to watch on October 31st. I am going to try and keep away from films I have previously talked about, and also films that are considered classics of the genre, my hope today is to introduce you to some features you might not have heard of.

You’re Next

Adam Wingard’s seminal home invasion film follows Erin, (Sharni Vinson), as she accompanies her boyfriend back to his family home for a party. What then follows is a group of men in animals masks try to break in and kill everyone inside. What makes this film so good is the originality it brings to the subgenre, the story never goes where you expect it to and, the heavily defined character traits that most films of this ilk follow, don’t apply here. The gory bloodbath that follows is delightfully devilish, with many memorable kills on display.

Raw

This French body horror film revolves around Justine, (Garance Marillier), a young vegetarian who is forced to eat meat during a freshers event in her first week at University. Justine then develops a taste for meat, a specific type of meat, that grows in heinousness throughout the film. There is also a reasonable degree of social commentary and coming of age themes that stop this from becoming too black. Very much unique and memorable and a film that has stayed with me long after I watched it, all those years ago.

Revenge

The rape-revenge subgenre has never been one that has been handled tastefully, but Revenge very much changes that. The plot is that Jen, (Matilda Lutz), flies off to a remote location with her married neighbour Richard, (Kevin Janssens), and his friends; once there things turn nasty, and Jen ends up dead. She then hunts each man down and takes her revenge, just like the title, in various satisfying ways. The ability to build tension in this film is incredible as there are hunter hunted sequences that feel so tense you can’t possibly look away. Also for all those of you who like gore, this film won’t let you down.

The Green Inferno

This Eli Roth film takes inspiration from classic Italian Cannibal films, namely Cannibal Holocaust. The plot of the film follows Justine, (Lorenza Izzo), a student who goes to the Amazon to try and stop or at least draw attention to, deforestation. However, it all goes wrong as Justine, and her friends find themselves being held captive by a tribe deep in the Amazon, who have a taste for human flesh. There are some profoundly uncomfortable scenes. Still, it has such an identity that it needs to be seen, a lot of horror films focus on things that couldn’t happen, or at least not often, meaning the supernatural; what The Green Inferno does so well is that the terror is all too real world.

The Woman In Black

Finally, we have The Woman in Black a classic English ghost story, with Harry Potter himself as the lead. This film terrified me for years as a child; there is something about it, the impending doom the unavoidable terror that just chills me. The plot centres on Arthur Kipps, (Daniel Radcliff), a young laywer, who goes to a remote village to settle a woman’s affairs after she dies. He soon realises things are not what they seem and children are going missing in droves, the deeper he digs, the more the fear builds.

The simplicity of this film is what makes it so terrifyingly effective.

Also, Ghost Stories and Clown, are both fantastic underrated gems you should watch.

Enjoy the creepiest day of the year!

Luke

The Lost Boys: My Favourite Film

This blog post is going to be personal, as the subject is my favourite film; which for those of you who don’t know is the 1987 teen horror film The Lost Boys. I’ve written many times about why I love this film more than any other, but this will be the definitive piece.

For those of you who’ve never seen the film, The Lost Boys revolves around a young family, a mum and two boys who move to the town of Santa Clara to start afresh. Little do they know Santa Clara houses a dark secret, vampires; “all those damn vampires”.

The two boys, Sam (Corey Haim)and Michael (Jason Patrick), become tied up with a group of local teenagers who live by a philosophy of sleep all day, hunt and party all night. Michael tries to resist the vampiric life the boys offer him, but eventually gives in. What then follows is a showdown between the living and the dead, all set while the mum is out on a dinner date.

Therein lies the charm, Lost Boys never takes itself too seriously, it isn’t a “30 Days of Night” or a “Let the Right One In”. It’s an angsty teenage coming of age drama, with vampires and horror mixed in. Part of the charm of this film is the camp.

What’s more, The Lost Boys has career-best performances from the future Jack Bower, Keither Sutherland, as the effortlessly cool and menacing antagonist David, who is easily the best thing about the film. As well as an excellent performance by Corey Feldman, even better than his turn in the other 80s staple “The Goonies”.

There is such a personality and life to this world as well, such a fantastic atmosphere that I believe no other vampire film has been able to capture since. There are two far after sequels that add to the world and carry on the adventure of Feldman’s Edgar Frog, but they never have the same feel or the same magic as the original. Even the theme song of the original film is iconic in horror cinema being instantly recognisable anywhere, though I am partial to the cover Aiden did for the sequels.

The reason I love this film so much is that it was the first horror film I was ever shown when I was a kid, before Alien, before The Shining, before Halloween, there was this. It had this adult feel to it when I first watched as though I was seeing something I wasn’t supposed to be. It scared me and chilled me, but it also began my love affair with the horror genre; that is still going strong today.

So please if you’re going to watch a new horror film this Halloween watch this, yes it might not be the scariest, and yes some of the effects might not hold up, but in so many other ways this film is timeless, a modern masterpiece of campy 80s goodness. I guarantee you’ll love it.

The Cornetto That Saved British Cinema

British Cinema has been around since 1888, British Horror nearly as long. For years Hammer Horror was the driving force in national terror, with the likes of the Christopher Lee starring Dracula films being international classics. However, as they reached the end of the 20th century, their influence began to wain. British Cinema as a whole began to diminish, yet there was still lifeblood in the old industry, and we got British Rave Culture Cinema with the likes of Danny Boyle leading the way.

However, internationally British Cinema and British horror wasn’t what it had been, becoming a series of tired, repetitive cliches. Then came along one man who would be instrumental in raising both aspects of British film to what they had been in the golden years; that man was Edgar Wright.

Wright began out directing the cult British sitcom Spaced, the show that would launch the career of his long-time collaborator, Simon Pegg. From there Wright would go on to head the Cornetto Trilogy, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and The World’s End, three solidly good films.

With Shaun of the Dead, Wright resurrected British Horror and brought it back into the mainstream consciousness. British Horror had endured the end of Hammer and had kept going, but had become far more niche than it used to be; Shaun of the Dead changed all that. What is on its surface a silly film about a group of friends fighting off the Zombie Apocalypse, beneath the surface lay the hidden depths of a broader social commentary. Shaun of The Dead was so beloved domestically that it brought British eyes back to British Horror, and more impressively brought the eyes of the World to Edgar Wright.

The idea of Auteur Cinema is that a director can become so prolific that they begin to influence the very industry itself, their films are instantly recognisably and sell because of the Director name attached rather than the film itself, think Wes Craven or, John Carpenter; for British Cinema Edgar Wright was our Auteur.

Following on from the cult success of Shaun of the Dead, Wright released Hot Fuzz which instead of mocking the Horror genre mocked the Cop Action Film genre, this was even more of a success. One of the reasons at least to me that Wright’s work is so prolific is that he plays off the stereotypes the rest of the World has about Brits, in a way only a Brit could do.

Whatsmore, Wright highlighted to the World some of the best British actors of that generation, introducing us to the likes of Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, to name a few. That eye for talent has stayed with him throughout his career and doesn’t look to be going anywhere soon.

To conclude Wright’s importance to Cinema can’t be understated, he has brought the eyes of the British public as well as the World back to British Cinema and has shown what we are capable of. Even know as he has become more of a Hollywood director, he is still an inspiration and shows how British Cinema is still relevant in 2019.

Slasher Horror: The Genre That Refuses To Die

A ‘Slasher’ film for those of you who don’t know is a type of horror film usually focusing on a group of people, in most cases teens, who are hunted down one by and one and killed. Sometimes this can be done with the standard escaped lunatic trope, Halloween the original, or sometimes the killer can have more of a supernatural bend, like Freddy from the Nightmare on Elm Street series.

The Slasher sub-genre has been around in one form or another for decades, stretching all the way back to the 1960 release of Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. The film’s villain, Norman Bates, is the first example we see of what would become the horror staple slasher. Following on from this we had the release of Black Christmas, which is getting a 2019 remake, and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, both released in 1974; this kicked the sub-genre off, and proved that these sort of films was where the horror was heading.

The film that would go on to solidify the identity of what a Slasher film can and can’t be, as well as bring about the trope of the ‘Final Girl’, was John Carpenters Halloween; this is seen as the first of the modern slashers and would become the template for what other horror movies and franchises would do down the line.

The 80s were the prime time for Slasher horror, with the release of Friday the 13th at the end of the 70s going into the 80s as well as more from the Halloween franchise, and a little film called Nightmare on Elm Street. All of these films put their spin on the slasher formula, with the 1980s release of Child’s Play being the most novel making the evil slasher a doll. However, franchise fatigue was beginning to set in.

Over the 1980s the market had become saturated with Slasher horror and audiences were starting to get sick of it. The big franchises had become more and more silly, as a way to try and keep the concept new and exciting; here’s looking at you Friday the 13th. As such, when the 1990s rolled around, a film was released which exposed as well as poked fun at all of the sub-genres rules and tropes; this film was Wes Craven’s Scream.

Scream was released to massive applause and praise, with it almost being a parody, but still remaining scary, and most importantly innovative. The release of Scream helped to breath new life into the Slasher genre, but this was only short-lived. With more schlocky slasher films like Wrong Turn and Hatchet being made in this brief window, but all of this was not enough to save the genre; as we reached the end of the 90s, the Slasher horror was on its way out. Another contributing factor in this decline was the late 90s release of The Blair Witch Project, which pushed horror cinema in a completely different direction, found footage.

Throughout the 2000s the big Slasher franchises continued to release films, whether reboots or, sequels no one asked for and a lot of them came out to minimal fanfare and even fewer ticket sales. All hope for Slasher movies coming back to the forefront of horror cinema seemed lost. Then the news was announced that Danny McBride, know for his comedy roles, wanted to write a new entry for the Halloween series, this film would ignore all the terrible sequels that followed the original; when the movie came out it was met with praise at every turn and made a large amount of money for the studio; naturally two sequels to this film were announced thereafter. Now at the time of writing there is talk of a new Friday the 13th film as well as a Nightmare on Elm Street film, and though there still are terrible Slasher movie sequels being released, 2019’s Child’s Play and the Leatherface origin story, the Slasher genre still has one last gasp in its lungs and, one last scare to give.

IT Chapter 2 and the mass appeal of Horror.

Horror cinema has been around for decades, and over the years it has grown in popularity more and more, to the point that now when IT chapter 2 comes out, it can be a huge hit. I want to talk about why that is, and how horror has gone from a very niche thing to rising to prominence in mainstream culture; then I’ll touch on my thoughts for IT chapter 2.

Horror Cinema has always had a dedicated audience whether its kids and teenagers going to see matinees back in the 50s and 60s, to the rise of Hammer Horror. However, it has never been a genre that Studios have seen as viable for a broad audience, as it forgoes a lot of the profitable demographics. The reason for this is that not everyone likes to be scared, unlike comedy that can appeal to a lot of people, the desire to be scared and in effect horror, in general, is far more niche. Furthermore, horror can offend people they may not think that a film showing such a thing, should be viewed.

Despite that in recent years with the rise of giants like Blumhouse and A24, horror is very much in vogue; it continues to rise and rise with more and more people seeing it as not only profitable but also a creatively free genre, with marketing agencies and big studios realising there is a lot of money to be made off the dedicated fan base that there has always been for horror.

That brings us to the film I am going to cover today, IT Chapter 2.
Chapter 2 carries on from the 2017 release of IT, based off the Stephen King book of the same name, about an entity that preys on the townspeople of Derry, Maine; every 27 years. Where the first chapter focused on the Losers Club, the main protagonists, as children, Part 2 sees them returning as adults when Pennywise the Dancing Clown, the before mentioned entity, awakens from his slumber; to have one final showdown.

I believe in many ways, this film was not as good as the first chapter and a far cry from the 90s miniseries, but it was never going to be. IT Chapter 2 suffered from something a lot of big films do these days, that is being overhyped, these films get talked about and talked about to such an extent that they have to be a perfect film otherwise people are going to feel disappointed, and to a degree cheated; very few films can live up to this standard.

My thoughts on the film can be summed up like this, for a movie that runs for nearly 3 hours, it feels rushed. A lot of key scenes, in terms of character development, from the book are left out; such is the issue with trying to stuff a mammoth book into two films. Adding to this fact, and making it all the worse, is that this film suffers from severe pacing issues. Whilst there are elements of comedy in the original novel it is never front and centre, conversely in this film, there are scenes where comedy is artificially forced in, why this is done is beyond me as it takes away from any sort of tension.

Additionally, though the main characters are well cast and all the actors do a good job, Pennywise, for many people the selling point of these films, is mostly underused, with him being reserved mainly for the final act.
This leaves us with a lot of boring scenes of the Losers Club members walking the streets of Derry and reminiscing about their childhoods, with the occasional jump-scare put in to remind you, that although you may have forgotten, you’re watching a horror film.

Ultimately though there are good aspects, this film feels rushed and also overly drawn out at the same time, and that is something that ruins the movie overall; with it needing a tighter focus.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

A Beginners Guide to Comic Books

Ever since I was young, I loved reading comics; indeed, my obsession with Marvel and DC superheroes almost began in-utero. From as young as I can remember I have kept up with adventures of Batman and Spider-man, and as I have got older my tastes changed; I moved away from superhero comics, except for Moon Knight, and found a whole other world of comics and graphic novels that have nothing to do with superheroes at all.

My first foray into this world came as I started reading Bill Williamson’s Fables, which still stands as my personal favourite comic series ever, a series in which classic fairytale characters find themselves in our world in the present day. What makes the comic series so superb is that it manages to merge the silly wimsey of fairytales with the grittiness of real life; to a fantastic end.

So the subject of today’s post is how to get into, and hopefully love comics. In recent years a lot of people are getting into comics thanks in no small part to the mass success of the MCU, but there are so many different comics it is hard to know where to start. Ultimately it depends what you’re looking for if you’re trying to get into Marvel or, DC then every few years they will have significant events that restart the in-comic universe and make it more approachable for new readers. Failing that you can always find older issue of any series you want to get into at any good comic shop. If you want to get into non-superhero comics, then it’s even more accessible, as most of the time these series don’t have hundreds of back issues to sort through. As well as this most major comic publications have online services where you can read all of their comics for a fee.

How I handle reading comics is, I don’t try and keep up with every series from a particular brand, Marvel, DC, Boom, Dark Horse; instead I find authors I like and stick to their runs, exploring maybe one or, two other comic series a month. I believe this makes keeping up with comics way easier.

The reason everyone should try and read comics is not only because comics are cool, but also because so many of them have something different to say, and show the world from another viewpoint. To me, comics are the most original medium, as the creators are only really bound by the limits of their imagination, especially if they’re writing for an independent publisher. You can go from reading a comic about vampires across time to one about people who freeze time when they orgasm, the amount of variety and creativity is unlike anything found elsewhere.

To conclude I think everyone should give comics ago, yes it’s not going to be for everyone, but you might just read something that captures your imagination and engrosses you, and for some of the characters and worlds alone I think you should pick up a comic book today!