A Haunted House: Back In The Early 2000’s This Would Have Been Hilarious

A Haunted House is a found footage parody film directed by Michael Tiddes. The plot serves to mock the recent trend in found footage horror films, but out of that sub-genre Paranormal Activity in particular. We see happy couple Malcom (Marlon Wayans) and Kisha (Essence Atkins), move in together only to find their new home subject to demonic activity.

In some ways this film reminded me of the best parts of the early Scary Movies, it was funny and silly, and it served as an excellent lampooning of the sub-genre. However, times have changed and as have my comedic sensibilities. When I was watching the Movie films I would have been in my early teens in the late 00’s, and watching them then they were funny, and whilst this film still made me laugh a number of times I also saw a lot of the jokes as being in poor taste. There were quite a few rape jokes that made me uncomfortable, and I think don’t hold up to today’s standard.

Wayans and Atkins are both funny and each manage to hold their ground with the other. I found that they had quite a lot of good on-screen chemistry together and the comedic back and forth between them was strong and well used.

Overall, if I could ignore the rape jokes I would give this film high marks as it is a comedy film that made me laugh, which seems quite successful by what the genre sets out to do, however, those moments of uncomfortableness with off colour jokes will force it to lose marks.

Pros.

Wayans

Atkins

Good comedic chemistry

It is quite funny

Cons.

Some of the jokes cross a line and aren’t funny, namely the rape jokes

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Apartment 143: Smacking Your Head Against The Wall

Apartment 143 is a Spanish Horror film directed by Rodrigo Cortes. The plot sees a father and his two children become the victim of a poltergeist believed to have something to do with the recently deceased mother of the children – as is custom the father hires a team of paranormal investigators to get to the bottom of it.

The only positive I can give this film is that there are a few moments that do actually feel quite scary. These are not the moments where something paranormal might be a foot, but are instead the moments when we see that the father might have far more to hide than we first thought. That the real monster might be alive and well; however they ruin this as the film goes on and just ignore the plot thread in favour of a more generic supernatural ending.

The characters are all deeply generic and the plot goes exactly how you would expect. That really is my main take away with this film, it is not bad – it is watchable, but it is deeply generic. If you have even a slight interest in the horror genre and have seen more than one other haunted house/ and or possession film then you have seen this film before.

Overall, boring, and generic.

Pros.

When it looks like the supernatural is not the real cause of the evil

Cons.

Promptly ignoring that plot line

It is boring

It is generic

It is not scary

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Escape Room: More Than That Thing Your Friends Drag You To

Escape Room is a horror film directed by Adam Robitel. The plot sees a group of people participate in an escape room with a grand prize of ten thousand dollars cash. However, as the experience progresses they soon start to realise that the danger is far too real and that each of them has been chosen for a reason.

I missed this when it was originally released and have since had a vague desire to check it out when I could, so as I was settling down on New Year’s Day and scrolling through Netflix I decided to put it on. This was my first film of 2021.

I am pleased to tell you that it did not disappoint me. At first I thought it was going to just be a blatant rip-off of Saw, but as it went along I found that there was quite a bit more too it. The ending is especially interesting as it implies something much larger and much more sinister (think Cabin In The Woods), that I can’t wait to see explored in the sequel.

Though I did not find it scary, I did find it to be suitably tense throughout. As such I was often glued to the screen trying to see how the characters were going to get out of this latest death trap. In that regard the escape room puzzles and traps themselves were all very original and creative and I enjoyed how the tied in character backstory into the design.

I would say that the performances for the most part were very average, no one really stood out to me in any way and they all just seemed like fodder; if I had to pick a favourite it would probably be Deborah Ann Woll’s Amanda as she had the most personality and character development throughout the film.

Overall, a very worthy horror film with a great ending that really wets your whistle for the sequel, hurry up Sony!

Pros.

The originality

The tension

The escape rooms themselves

The ending

Cons.

The characters were quite generic

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Vigil: Waking The Dead

The Vigil is a horror film directed by Keith Thomas. The plot sees a young man (Dave Davis), perform an overnight vigil for a recently deceased member of the Jewish community. However, once his watch begins thing begin to go wrong, and the man must fight off the efforts of a demon if he ever wants to leave that house again.

This film genuinely unnerved me, that is not something I get to say very often. I think by capitalising on an underrepresented type of horror, Jewish horror, we really get to see something fresh and unique. When thinking about these sort of films, possessions films/ demon films, we often are presented with a narrative from a Christian view point, and it is nice to explore the idea of demons from another faith’s viewpoint. The only other obvious example I can think of a similar film would be the Jeffery Dean Morgan stating The Possession where we get the Jewish view point represented.

I think the scares are very well done here and I enjoyed a lot of the slow burn horror scenes. This film does have a few jump scares in it, which is usually a point of derision, but here they actually work well within the film and the film as a whole doesn’t feel reliant on them.

My only negative would be that this film is very bleak and will make you feel sad after watching, which personally I was not anticipating, but be warned.

Overall, a very original film that is brimming with exploration and novel approaches.

Pros

The focus on Jewish mythology

The demon itself, the look and design

The horror

The ending

Cons.

It is very bleak

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

May The Devil Take You Too: Yet Another Chosen One

May The Devil Take You Too is an Indonesian horror film directed by Timo Tjahjanto, serving as a sequel to May The Devil Take You. The plot follows the immediate aftermath of Alfie’s (Chelsea Islan), escape from the demon summoned by her father, we see her drafted in to help a group of wayward orphans whose guardian also made a deal with the devil; she is the only one that can stop the evil.

My biggest issue with this sequel is that it is too ambitious. The sequel adds a whole lot of lore and exposition on top of the premise from the first film and has Alfie as some sort of mythical being?, or destined to become some form of immortal being? I don’t know, and that is the problem. There is a lot going on here, a lot of set up and worldbuilding, which is crammed in and not really mentioned in the first film; the film as a whole feels overstuffed and by the end you have no idea what is going on.

The scares are still strong, and it is still nice to see the film’s very unique take on demons. I enjoyed the look of these creatures and their design especially endgame boss Moloch, I though they all looked well realised and quite menacing.

Overall, though the acting is still good and the scares still strong the film suffers from too much going on at once making it a confusing mess that leaves the world have developed.

Pros.

The scares

The creature design

The acting

Cons.

There is far too much going on

The plot easily becomes confusing

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Wind: Sleep With A Shotgun In Your Hand, Just To Be Safe

The Wind is a western, horror film directed by Emma Tammi. The plot centres around a frontier couple who begin to experience increasingly alarming supernatural happenings, with Lizzy (Caitlin Gerard) believing it to be the workings of a demon.

The Witch is probably my favourite horror film and is my second favourite film generally; Lost Boys is my favourite film and would be my favourite horror film though I don’t really view it as one. So, when I read that this film was basically a western version of The Witch, I was intrigued and put it on to see if it could live up to the high standard set, and I am pleased to say dear reader it more than did.

In the beginning the time hopping narrative didn’t make a lot of sense and I was lost, but as the film goes on it all wraps together nicely. The issue is that though we might be seeing a flashback, or a flash forward the film does not announce it as such, which can be a bit jarring.

The demonography of the American Frontier is fascinating, and I am surprised other films haven’t explored it more deeply before. I thought the film benefited from creating a very isolating atmosphere, that worked perfectly with the threat of the film and the idea of constantly being under siege. The larger scares towards the end of the film when we actually get to see the demons, in their human vessels, is incredibly menacing and actually managed to unsettle me; not an easy task as I have become quite desensitised over the years of watching horror films.

Overall, I think this is a superb horror film that more than deserves its comparison to Egger’s masterpiece. A must watch!

Pros.

The scares

The atmosphere

The demonology of the American Frontier

Gerard

Cons.

The timeline is a little confusing

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Cleansing Hour: The Hottest Live Stream In Town

The Cleansing Hour is a horror film directed by Damien LeVeck. The plot focuses on a live stream exorcist Father Max (Ryan Guzman), who pretends to fight the forces of evil and rid the world of demonic forces. However, one night, on a stream, rather unexpectedly it all becomes far too real and Father Max comes face to face with the Devil himself.
This was an unexpected treat. I recently joined back up with Shudder to watch Anything For Jackson, and as I have it for a month I thought I would check out some of their other newer offerings as I already had the service earlier in the year. As such I stumbled across this film, I went in with low expectations of vapid teen focused fare and walked away genuinely surprised by one of the best twist endings I have ever seen in a horror film. The ending I am still thinking about now, well over a week after I watched the film.

I enjoyed how the demon fed of the secrets and lies, this resulted in slow drip-fed character development and an exploration of the character’s world and inner motivations. This made me care about the characters and made me invested in their story and survival. Likewise, I thought Guzman was a strong lead, the wayward priest who has fallen to the dark side but who still longs for a more noble cause is a role he plays well; in this he adds new emotional depths to the standard character architype and adds his own spin.

Overall, this is a horror gem that you can’t let pass you buy.

Pros.

The ending

The twist

Guzman

The character development

A novel new approach that felt, at least to me, very original

Cons.

None

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Anything For Jackson: Demons Are Surprisingly Flexible, Who Knew They Had Yoga In Hell

Anything For Jackson is a horror film directed by Justin G. Dyck. The plot follows an elder couple of devil worshippers who kidnap a pregnant women to use as a bargaining chip in the demonic resurrection of their dead Grandson.

This film really is a testament to the use of practical effects. The demons in this film are genuinely menacing, more so than anything I have seen in recent memory, why? Well because they seem all too real. The main two demons that I would like to draw attention to are the tall ghost demon, I like how they played around with the size, and of course the contortionist main demon who quite frankly was unlike anything I have ever seen before in a horror film- truly chilling.

I enjoyed the empathises this film placed on creating scares through its atmosphere. The film manages to a have a few good jump scares that don’t feel manufactured and that come about organically because of the tense atmosphere, the early resurrection of the bird would be a good example.

My issues with the film are only slight. Firstly, the first act is too slow, I understand it is establishing a lot of things, but it does become a slog after a while, luckily the film quickly rectifies this. Secondly, the central couple were fine but did not blow me away, anyone else could have played those roles.

Overall, this is a very strong, very original horror film that you need to see as it is trying something new and different and pulling it off to great effect.

Pros.

The demons

The scares

The ending

The atmosphere

Cons.

The first act

The main couple were bland

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Castle Freak: A Collection Of The Most Unlikable Characters Ever Put To Film

Castle Freak is a horror film directed by Tate Steinsiek based on the H.P Lovecraft short story The Outsider. The plot follows Rebecca (Clair Catherine), a recently blind girl who travels to Albania after learning that her birth mother, who has recently died, has left her a castle. Naturally the circumstance around the mother’s death are shrouded in mystery and inferences of the supernatural.

Horror is my favourite genre; I have watched a lot of horror films in my time which makes what I am about to say all the more impactful: the characters in this film might be some of the most unlikeable and unpleasant protagonists in the history of the genre. Even the lead Rebecca is at best irritating, the cast for the most part seem to be a reflection on the worst parts of society, and I don’t know if this was done by choice, but I will assume not. It would make no sense if this was deliberate as you would and do end up feeling nothing when the characters are slaughtered later in the film, quite a large flaw.

Moreover, I am no prude when it comes to nudity, but I think this was a tad excessive. There is nothing wrong with a tastefully done nude scene, but here we have scenes that serve no narrative purpose other than to show off the bodies of the female stars, which frankly feels more than a little exploitative to me.

The gore and the kills are serviceable to good, but that is not enough to make up for the films many other shortcomings.

Pros.

The gore and the kills

Cons.

The characters are unlikeable

The first act is incredibly slow

They just dump a bunch of Old Gods information through exposition on the audience at the start of the second act, I found this confusing

The nudity seems a bit much

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Blood Vessel: If There Is One Thing We Know It Is That Nazi’s Love The Occult

Blood Vessel is a horror film directed by Justin Dix. The plot sees a group of survivors adrift at sea during the closing days of WW2, they have abandoned hope of being rescued that is until they find a deserted Nazi war ship pass them by.

This film is a perfect example of subverting expectations in a smart way. When I first put this film on, I thought that it was going to be a ghost ship and that one of the survivors would probably go crazy and start hunting down the rest, turning the film into a sea-based slasher film. However, there is a reveal midway through the film, that I won’t spoil as I think it is worth seeing fresh, that totally takes things in another direction.

The lore of said reveal is quickly set up and is surprisingly in-depth, the film manages to tell us a lot about what is going on and who is doing it without giving us a lot of boring slow exposition. The gore and the kills are strong, gore fans will be pleased to hear, with an excellent and bloody final showdown to boot; the ending itself perfectly sets up a continuation of the horror.

My one complaint would be that none of the characters were particularly interesting and for the most part felt like standard war time cliches.

Pros.

The horror

The reveal

The lore

The ending

Cons.

The characters are all quite forgettable

4/5

Reviewed by Luke