Escape Room Tournament Of Champions: Minos Is Basically God

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The survivors of all the previous Minos escape rooms are brought together to see who is the best at solving life and death puzzles.

After watching the first film on New Year’s day I was very excited for this sequel I thought that the first film set up a very interesting conspiracy and I wanted answers. We do get some answers here, but for the most part the conspiracy is pumped up to a laughably degree. In the first film Minos were simply a group of wealthy people who are betting on which of the kidnapped participants will survive to the end of the escape room experience. Here they now have untold power over the world at large and control the police the transportation networks and can get you at any time. They have more than overdone it, to a point where the characters basically can’t win.

Moreover, the film ends rather abruptly, the characters are just starting to win and fight back against the system, when bang it is all over and they are at a police station telling their story and you think ‘wait what is that it?’, it is jarring.

I did not like the twist at the end as I have previously said it now makes the threat of Minos simply ridiculous and their ability to stay covert even more so.

The acting is okay here but the cast is mostly wasted, for the most part everyone is only here to be used as fodder for the various rooms. They even bring back Deborah Ann Woll’s character from the first film, who was my personal favourite however, she only gets five minutes of screen time and is then quickly forgotten about.

Overall, a needless sequel that struggles to live up to the first film. If they do a third film I won’t rush out to see it.

Pros.

The escape rooms are neat

It is nice to see Deborah Ann Woll’s character return

Cons.

The ending

It feels rushed

They ruin the threat of Minos

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The Forever Purge: Hasn’t This Happened Already

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Turns out one night of purging is not enough for some people, so they have now decided to make it all year round.

I think out of all the films in the Purge franchise this is the scariest. The reason for that being that this is the most true to reality, in that in could happen; and some might say it already has. The frightening thing about this film is how much of an accurate reflection of our own reality it is.

I don’t like how this blatantly throws the third film, Election Year, to the wolves: for those of you who don’t know the series, the third film saw the purge be brought to an end and NFFA be voted out of power. Within the first few moments of this film that is just undone and ignored, which feels like a lazy write around. Though that said it does work as a comment on the cyclical nature of modern politics.

Though the action in this film does feel a little repetitive at times, it is still done in a very tense way that forces you to sit up and take notice. There is a moment in this film where one of the character is stook in a trap and is about to have a whole put in her head, and honestly you can feel it as you watch. It feels traumatic.

The ending of the film does pose and interesting question as to where the series is going to go from here. I would like to see the fight between the NFFA and the far right radicals that were born out of their movement, or perhaps a worldwide purge. However, one thing is for sure the franchise still has a lot of life left in it.

Overall, a lot better than I was expecting. Powerful and honestly very damning of our current world.

Pros.

The social commentary

The ending

The friendship between the two men and its take on modern day racism

Tense and hard to watch at times

Cons.

It ignores Election Year

It does get a little repetitive

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The Invitation: Drinking Wine And Confessing To Killing Your Ex Wife, The Standard House Party Activities

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A man goes to his ex-wife’s dinner party after years apart. Once there he starts noticing strange behaviour from her and her new guy and becomes increasingly agitated.

I red a piece somewhere that said this film was trying to be like Vinterberg’s Festen, the hubris of that statement is only amplified when watching this deeply mediocre film.

Firstly, this film seems to think it is far deeper than it actually is. I often say that a film feels in-love with itself or perhaps that it has its head up it’s own rear end, both would be applicable to this film. The weighty elements to this film all feel incredibly predictable and played out, everything that happens is written on the wall from the start of the film- the twist is blinding.

Secondly, the film only starts to ‘get good’ around the reveal of the cult twist, which comes in the last fifteen to twenty minutes of the film. The rest of the film is a slog to get through, with the film only really switching between slow and tedious during this time period. Once things start to get crazy at the end it finally becomes somewhat watchable, but by then it is too little too late.

Thirdly and finally, I am a big Logan Marshall-Green fan and think that often he is a terrific character actor. However, here he is given nothing to work with and as such he gives a bland going through the motions sort of performance that will quickly be forgotten about- Upgrade this is not.

Overall, this is everything wrong with try hardy art house horror

Pros.

Logan Marshall-Green is trying

The last twenty minutes are entertaining

Cons.

It is slow

It is pretentious

It is boring

It is no way scary

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Fear Street Part Two: What Is More Cliche In Horror Than A Summer Camp

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Fear Street saga continues as we go into the past to follow the story of the only person to ever have survived a run in with the witch, and her undead minions.

Though this is a good film in its own right, it is also certainly a step back from the previous film. Maybe the American summer camp has been done to death as a horror location, in fact there is no maybe about it. So seeing it in all its cliched infamy here hurts the film as it lessens the quality and the originality.

Moreover, I found Sadie Sink to be a fine lead. Though she does get more than her fair share of the lime light and a lot of the side characters including her sister are given very little and are deeply underserved as a result. I enjoyed the few scenes we get with Gillian Jacobs she is very talented and brings a lot to the film, hopefully we get to see more of her in the final entry.

In terms of scares this is quite on a par with the first film with each of them having a few good scares here and there without feeling scary as a whole. Honestly, I found the horrific bullying in this film more traumatic than the undead killers. I will assume that was not how the film wanted it to be.

Overall, though this film is good the cracks and crucially the cliches are starting to show through.

Pros.

Gillian Jacobs

Sadie Sink

A few good scares

Cons.

For the most part not scary

The side characters, even those important to the plot, are pushed to the side

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The House Next Door, Meet The Blacks Two: From Surviving The Purge To Fighting Vampires

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After surviving the events of terror night, the Blacks are now beset by vampires next door.

Very rarely is a sequel better than the film that proceeded it, even less so in horror. However, this film is a noticeable improvement over the first.

The first film was very reliant on cliches, racial stereotypes, and trendy internet buzz words. This film, however, actually manages to be funny and to be a worthwhile contribution to the horror comedy genre.

A big part of that is the fact that this time around Karl Black, Mike Epps, is actually likeable. This film makes the character far more sympathetic, so much so that you root for him and want to see him defeat the vampire that is living next door.

Katt Williams as Doctor Mamuwalde, the vampire, is easily the best thing about this film. Williams is a scene stealer and makes for a terrific villain. I would like to see him return in some capacity again if they make a third film as he really adds something to proceedings.

However, the main reason this film is better than the first is because it is funnier. Yes, this film made me laugh several times throughout and it made me smile more than that. Though humour may be subjective I think it is very unlikely someone would find the first film funnier than this one.

Overall, a successful sequel that is much more fun to watch than its predecessor.

Pros.

Williams

The characters are far more likeable

The ending and set up for further mystical adventures

Cons.

Other than Karl the rest of the family are side-lined

Still quite cliched and lazy at times

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Werewolves Within: A Property Deal Gone Bad

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of people in a small town get trapped during a werewolf attack.

Once this film gets going, which admittedly takes a while, and the werewolf begins to actually play a large role in the story this film really takes off- sadly that is about ten minutes from the end.

It has been a while since we had a truly good werewolf film, maybe WolfCop was the last good one but even that was a while ago now. As such I had a lot riding on this in terms of excitement and it struggled to deliver. The final ten minutes of werewolf goodness almost make all of the boring build up worth it.

Therein lies the problem with this film and why it can get no higher, it spends a long time introducing you to basically pointless characters who become werewolf chow and tries to make you care about these characters and the mystery of who is the werewolf. In both of these aims the film fails. I only cared about Finn, Sam Richardson, and Cecily, Milana Vayntrub, the rest of the characters just faded to the background. This film wastes too much time getting to the moments you actually want to see.

The final fight is fun to watch and is certainly a highpoint for the film.

Finally, this is a comedy horror film, but really it is neither. It is not scary nor is it funny. So I ask you what is it?

Overall, a let down that only has a very brief sequence of werewolf goodness

Pros.

Richardson

Vayntrub

The werewolf fight at the end

Cons.

It is not funny

It is not scary

It spends too long with pointless side characters

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Hell Baby: Straight From The Pits Of Hell

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I understand comedy is subjective, but I don’t see how anyone can find this film funny. There are long drawn out ‘jokes’ where the funny element is that the characters are just eating and making repetitive noises over and over again- how is that funny?

The only reason this film got a 1 is because of Kegan Michael-Key who frankly is doing everything he can to save this film, but even his herculean effort can’t stop this film from being awful. There were only a handful of moments where I laughed in this film, and they were all as a result of Key.

Moreover, this film much in the same vein as Coming To America 2 and A Haunted House made light of male sexual abuse. This is a recurring theme within comedy films, and it needs to stop, it is not only in bad taste, but it also sets a bad precedent for male victims of sexual abuse to be laughed off or treated as not serious. The scene in questions sees the lead receiving unwanted oral sex from someone he thinks is his wife only to later find out it is not, when it is revealed that he has been abused he is then made to feel lesser by his wife- real bad message there.

Furthermore, there is also a drawn out needless nude scene with Riki Lindhome’s character. This scene goes on and on and on, and it makes you think is the joke supposed to be that the people who made this were/are creeps or am I missing something. The whole thing feels very exploitative.

Overall, this is bottom of the barrel comedy horror, it does neither well and though Kegan Michael-Key tries his best this film deserves damnation.

Pros.

Key

Cons.

Playing off male sexual assault as a joke

The icky nude scene

It is mostly deeply unfunny

It is nothing you haven’t seen before

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Gaia: Keep Those Mushrooms Away From Me

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

It is nice to see the horror genre become more diverse with us now seeing films like this wherein we get to see more of an African influence. This film’s horror is eco centric, and its messages are clear and chilling.

We are never really clear what is going on, or what sort of state the world outside this jungle is in, but the implications we hear throughout dialogue over the course of the film doesn’t paint a pretty picture. Moreover, this film imagines the battle for climate survival, that we are currently fighting, as more of a literally war between two sides: the Old Gods of nature and the industrially demanding modern human.

The monsters of this film will be familiar to anyone who has ever played The Last Of Us before. The film manages to have its monsters feel and look very real which adds to their menace, moreover, the virus we know they spread makes every confrontation with them even more tense and thrilling.

However, where the film starts to let itself down is with the human characters, who never truly feel realised and there are a lot of odd or missing details about these characters that makes their story hard to understand. I understand the desire for ambiguity, but I also refuse to believe that the rangers would not have been aware that there was something going on in the woods prior to going on the survey. In short the plot holes and contrivances hold this films narrative back.

Adding to the description of this films horror as eco centric, I would say it does not feel scary rather disgusting and skin crawling. This film taps into the fear of eggs under your skin or worms burrowing inside you that words fail to describe but it does elicit a physical response.

Overall, though not entirely scary it does make you feel uncomfortable and the acting across the board is quite strong.

Pros.

The African influence on the horror

Tapping into a skin-crawling sense of fear

The acting

The design of the creatures

Cons.

Pacing issues

Plot holes and narratives fumbles

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Fear Street Part One: Nothing Is More Of A Turn On Then Being Hunted Down By Undead Serial Killers

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A long dead witches’ curse turns mild mannered residents of the quiet town of Shadyside into vicious killers.

I remember loving the books of R.L Stein when I was a kid, I must have read them all hundreds of times over. This film not only manages to capture the spirit, but also does a much better job of being a ‘Goosebumps’ esque film that the one staring Jack Black that came out a few years ago.

I found the film to not only be scary, but also surprisingly well done. The scares were built through atmosphere and tension rather than through forced jump scares. I found the wider mystery of all these small town serial killers to be quite unnerving, and I think the film does a good job exploring that: with the answer given feeling satisfying and making sense.

Though usually I find teen characters, especially in a Netflix film, to be grating, vapid and deeply unlikeable I didn’t mind the line up here and almost warmed to them by the end of the film. The one thing I would comment on though is the asinine and cringe story choice to have the kids hook up whilst having the killers chasing them, there is a time and a place guys. I understand that the higher ups at Netflix clearly wanted some form of titillation put into the film, but this just feels forced in.

Moreover, the dialogue is cringe as hell and often there are lines where you’re baffled that someone actually got paid to write that.

Overall, a good film that suffers from a lot of familiar Netflix teen cliches and draw backs, but manages to overcome them in the long run.

Pros.

The mystery

The scares

The ending

The world and the characters therein

Cons.

The forced-in needless teen romance scenes

The dialogue

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Censor: The Fight Against Video Nasties

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This feels like a very British horror film. There is something about this feature that so perfectly taps into the moral panic and the second guessing of Britain’s war with gory films. In times gone by this film itself would have probably ended up on the banned ‘video nasties’ list, as it truly replicates the gore and psychological torment that made those films controversial, and it revels in it.

The film is made by its lead performance. Niamh Alger deserves awards recognition, though she will never get it as horror films are always excluded from serious awards contention. Alger plays troubled very well and her descent into madness is a thing to behold. Alger’s performance during the final ten minutes were everything reaches a peak and Alger’s character reaches the apex of her snap into fantasy is nothing short of terrifying.

Though I would not say this film is scary in a traditional way, I would say it was unsettling. Very much like Under The Silver Lake that I reviewed recently the fear comes from the mass hysteria and paranoid aspects that pollenate the film and make you question what you see, and the reality presented to you.

My one criticism would be that some of the horror elements here are a little vague, the film itself is not always clear as to what is going on and you have to piece a lot of it together yourself: this does make the film’s story a little harder to enjoy.

Overall, a strong original horror film that taps into a time and place in British horror history better than anything I have seen in a while, sadly it is a bit too cerebral at times to be wholly enjoyable.

Pros.

Alger

The mania

Tapping into a very real part of British history

The ending

Cons.

The ending/ a little too abstract

Pacing issues

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