Haunted Mansion: Danny Devito Goes Full Conspiracy Theorist

Summary

Another film about a Disney park attraction this time sans Eddie Murphy.

This film got slaughtered in a competitive summer season and would have been much better if Disney had waited and released it on Disney + for Halloween, but hey I’m not Bob Iger.

I thought that this film was better than some have said it is, I think the main cast have great chemistry, even if you have some problematic actors in Haddish and the leading man, and mostly play off each other well. I would say that once again Owen Wilson is used perfectly in a small supporting role, I think he is really finding a new niche for himself in these more considered roles like Mobius in Loki.

Again the horror of the film was fair good for a family setting, it had its moments and wasn’t as comedic as they could have made it. Going In I was worried they would have the ghosts be a threat but also be cracking jokes every few minutes to reduce it but no the film did manage to sustain a level of spooky atmosphere throughout.

I would say that the villain was quite weak and the CGI used for him even more so, as I have said in other reviews and articles I am starting to get sick of third acts that boil down to one big CGI battle again I think it just reflects poor writing and how these writers don’t know how to wrap things up in a satisfying way and so the creatives regurgitate CGI colours all over you to try and make you forget.

Overall, an entertaining film that won’t be winning any awards

3/5

Good atmosphere

The cast work well together

I thought the emotional beats hit where they should

Cons.

The CGI

It has pacing issues

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Wish: Disney Wanted This To Bomb

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Disney fires a massive blast on their side of the culture war, sadly it has blown back on them in a big way.

I went to see this opening day, there were three other people there that is the strength of the Disney brand these days. Anyway, where to begin with this film that made me turn to my girlfriend and go no more Disney animations ever again.

Firstly the plot is beyond simplistic, like really there is no plot beyond an incredibly ham-fisted social message that everyone is special and unique and if life is ever even slightly unfair it is your duty to totally Karen out about it and that only through revolution can anything ever be achieved.

I mean I may be reading it wrong, but personally seeing how two of the only white male characters were evil and how it was the duty of everyone else to punish them it just felt like yet more preaching and like I was being told this film was not for me. If they had made the King look exactly like Donald Trump I would not have been surprised as that as clearly what they were going for, and this might play in America but outside of America audience’s don’t care for their social justice messages. As you all well know, if you have read my reviews for some time, I don’t mind a progressive message at all but when they decide to lecture and force it down the audience’s throat then it becomes clawing quickly.

The songs were not great either, which seems like an easy thing they could have gotten right, the only one that was catchy was Chris Pine’s song about how ungrateful people are. The rest aren’t terrible but they all come off feeling the same which is fine but it doesn’t do anything to sell the film.

I had heard that the ending of the film basically set up a Disney animated films shared universe, and after having seen it I question whether I was lied to. There is some implication of it but I thought it would be clearly shown, that was half of the appeal to me.

One thing I did like about the film that I will give it a half point for was the absurdity with the chickens that was a lot of fun, but sadly that was all the fun on offer in the entire hour and a half ish runtime.

Overall, another lecture from Disney

0.5/5

Pros.

The chickens

Cons

It is preachy

The real world parallel is right there for all to see and it’s irritating

The songs bar one aren’t good

It isn’t fun to watch

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Elemental: Pixar’s Attempt To Address Immigration In The Silliest Way Possible

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Pixar has run out of ideas so is now making films about elements, what’s next a feature length film about a cup of coffee.

So I went into this with low expectations, like basement level low expectations. I had seen the trailers and I thought that the film just looked like generic animated pap that repeated the same few life lessons all animated films do over and over again in an effort to entertain kids in the summer. However, there was far more to it than that and I would argue that this film has one of Pixar’s most developed and engaging emotional cores and that the romance between its leads is the sweetest one I have seen from the studio in years. I left this film blown away by how much it made me feel and yes I was a little bit emotional at the end.

What I would say about this film, and this is where I believe this film has gone majorly/wrong, is that it shouldn’t be about elements. At its very heart this is a film about worlds colliding, as cliché as that is, and of immigration with the latter playing a key role throughout the plot and informing a number of character relationships. I think this film would have been a triumph if it had just been exactly the same but swapped out the elemental characters for human characters and had it been an animated film about a grown up child of immigrants falling in love with someone from outside her community with the two helping each other grow. Now I can think of a pretty obvious reason this wasn’t done, as it may be viewed by some as too political and Disney might have had a panic thinking how is that going to play in Middle America, but I think if they had done that I would be giving this film a 5.

Overall, a hell of a surprise buried under some needless nonsense.

4/5

Pros.

The romance

The emotional core of the story

The inter-character relationships in a non-relationship sense

It is genuinely effecting

Cons.

The use idea of it being elements just doesn’t work at all

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Fast X: Running Out Of Road

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Fast Family have yet another figure from their past set out to seek revenge upon them.

These movies are getting tired, it is always the same thing over and over again. I know no one is coming to these films for their sparkling and thoughtful plots, but at the same time that doesn’t mean they have to be boring and repetitive, they should try a little.

What I would appreciate about this film is if death mattered. By that I mean in the final act of the film a number of characters are seemingly killed off and I have a feeling that these deaths will be reversed immediately at the start of the next film which will ruin the stakes and prove that death is meaningless in this universe. Having Jason Momoa’s villain killing off a number of beloved members of the family would set him up as being an important villain, enough to top all who have come before him and be worthy of the finale, but I have a feeling they might just give him Jacob’s, played by John Cena, death. I thinking killing off Cena’s character is stupid as he wasn’t around long enough to feel important as such his death is fairly meaningless.

I think the best thing about this film is the new blood. Brie Larson and Daniela Melchior both have great scenes throughout the film and help to bring in some new character dynamics that break the same old same old that we are getting sick of with this franchise. Larson in particular should have a much bigger role in the next film as she is electric here.

Overall, more spectacle, but does it mean anything?

3/5

Pros.

It is silly

The new characters

Mamoa is having a lot of fun

Cons.

The deaths feel meaningless and easily reversed

Vin Diesel gives his worst performance in years

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The Little Mermaid: The Opening Salvo Of The Summer Movie Season

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Little Mermaid gets the live action remake treatment.

So I went into this with pretty low expectations and thinking it wasn’t really going to be my sort of thing but I ended up enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would. I will preface this review by saying that I haven’t seen the animated original so I wasn’t attached to one version of this story.

I want to say right off the bat that Halle Bailey is a great Ariel and really helps the character to feel likeable and rounded in a live action format. On top of that she also has a very believable and strong romantic chemistry with the male lead, played by Jonah Hauer-King, which helps the film to really work as a date movie. Bailey of course also has a great singing voice and pulls off all the songs truly very well, or as well as can be done with the woeful new songs.

However, the strong cast doesn’t extend across the board Awkwafina is terribly miscast as Scuttle and has a groan inducing rap sequence that also doubles as one of the terrible new songs I mentioned earlier. It is such as a shame the film felt the need to introduce a few new songs as the old ones are still great and are what the audience want, but hey they have to have new songs to try and enter them into awards races later in the year. Awkwafina’s miscasting is somewhat offset by Daveed Diggs as Sebastian who is damn near perfect casting and who makes that Crab the stand out character of the whole film, bring on the Sebastian Disney + show I say.

A final point I want to flag up is that the effects and pacing of this film are both noticeably off and that on a technical level these things hold back the film. The underwater effects look bad and unfinished and I know Disney has bad relations with effect houses but they clearly needed to fix this if they want to improve their CGI, because at times the CGI hear was shocking, especially compared to what The Way of The Water was doing at the end of last year. Moreover, the extra story for Eric and a few other characters is nice but it really doesn’t need the film to be an extra half an hour longer than the original, at the length it is being shown at this film has a second act that drags by at a glacial pace.

Overall, a better live action remake than most of Disney’s others

3.5/5

Bailey

The classic songs

The romance

Digg’s Sebastian

Cons.

The effects and pacing

Awkwafina

The new songs

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The Princess Bride: Your Princess Is In Another Castle

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A story within a story about a young farmhand, played by Cary Elwes, who must go on a quest to save the love of his life, played by Robin Wright, after she is kidnapped.

For the most part I enjoyed this film. Yes, the damsel in distress plot line is played out, but I suppose when the film came out maybe it felt more fresh. That aside I found this to be an entertaining ride.

The comedy was the thing that caught me off guard, I had been expecting more of a straightforward adventure/fantasy film and as such wasn’t really expecting many jokes, but this film does have a lot of them and most of them work well. It certainly made me smile more often than not.

Additionally, I liked the meta aspects of the narrative wherein the story knows it is a story and as such is a bit more playful and knowing both within its narrative as well as its presentation towards the audience.

I think as well that Elwes and Wright have great chemistry and them together as a couple in this feel incredibly natural and rightly paired.

Overall, a lot of fun.

4/5

Pros.

The great chemistry

The jokes

The metaness

It is a lot of fun

Cons.

Some aspects of the film feel quite dated now

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The Super Mario Bros. Movie: Bring On The Luigi’s Mansion Spin-Off

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two Italian-American plumbers, voiced by Chris Pratt and Charlie Day, fall through a magical sewer pipe and end up in the Mushroom Kingdom. Adventure awaits.

So the initial bad reviews of this film seemed to want it to be something it was never going to be, it was always going to be silly and with a fairly predictable story that reflected a lot of game elements and that is exactly what this film is.

Yes there are some jarring elements like Chris Pratt’s accent, which drifts in and out over the course of the film, and the random song mid-way through, but on the whole there is nothing bad here. In many ways it is a very serviceable and accessible entry into the world of Mario and has a number of memorable moments and characters.

Funnily enough Mario himself was probably the least interesting character here, as he was a fairly standard main character out to prove himself, prove his father wrong and get the girl. However, said girl Princess Peach to be exact, voiced by Anya-Taylor Joy, Donkey Kong, voiced by Seth Rogen and Luigi, voiced by Charlie Day, are all terrific. I like that the film expands each one as a character and tries to dig deeper into them rather than just presenting them in fairly obvious archetypal roles. A confusing move the film makes is having Mario and Donkey Kong be friends, which then negates Donkey Kong as a Mario antagonist later down the road, as he was in the games, though a heel turn is always possible.

I would definitely say that if you are a fan of the games you will get more out of this film, as though it is not incredibly reference heavy there are a number of nods and background character appearances that fans of the game can enjoy and which sometimes hint at future things to come in the inevitable sequel.

Overall, fun, but not perfect.

3/5

Pros.

Day, Taylor-Joy and Rogen

Expanding on the supporting characters in interesting ways

The references and nods to the games

Cons.

Pratt and his inconsistent accent

It is badly paced.

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Mummies: The Fight Back Against The British Museum

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A trio of mummies travel from their land of the dead into the human world.

It was nice to see an animated film that was a, not from Disney and b, didn’t feel incredibly American. It was nice that this film had more of a British feel to it, certainly it added a certain sense of charm that no doubt boosted my likelihood of enjoying the film.

I think Joe Thomas did a really good job of anchoring the film and was easily the best voice actor of the bunch, outside of Sean Bean as one could never surpass him. For the most part the voice cast was used well, it was strange that the female lead had a different voice for talking and singing and wider still that they used a white voice actor for the talking voice and an African American R and B artist for the singing voice, it feels problematic.

The songs for the most part aren’t good and feel like they were just added into boost the runtime of the film, which is very short even with them, the only one that was good, in my subjective opinion, was the final rendition of Walk Like An Egyptian.

Overall, a fine Easter holiday distraction for kids, with enough British charm to keep everyone interested.

3/5

Pros.

Thomas and Bean

It is funny

It certainly has British charm

Cons.

It is a noticeable different when the film swaps between the female leads talking voice and singing voice

The story feels very familiar

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Puss In Boots The Last Witch: Don’t Fear The Reaper Fight Him

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Puss In Boots, voiced by Antonio Banderas, is back after a long wait and is facing the end of his life, is retirement on the cards or one last tale of glory?

I was very pleasantly surprised by this film, the first Puss In Boots was very much meh and on the duller side of meh at that and lived firmly in the shadow of Shrek. However, this film has so much going for it, whether it is the genuinely quite stunning at times animation, or the character of the Wolf/Death, voiced by Wagner Moura, who is downright menacing and is also a fantastic on-screen presence.

I thought the story did justify the need to come back and revisit these characters and that the tale on the whole was surprisingly mature and sombre, it was a reflection on life, love and making the most out of the time you have left. The ending was basically just a massive tag for Shrek 5 Now With Teenager Ogres, and though I should be angrier about how blatantly this is done I think I am fine with it.

The main area where for me this film let itself down is with the supporting cast, they bring back Selma Hayek as Kitty Softpaws, Puss’s partner in crime and love interest, but they give her little new to do and that is without getting into Florence Pugh’s Goldie and the massively wasted opportunity that was. In my mind a lot of the backstory and dynamic between Goldie and her Bear family was most likely left on the cutting room floor and that is a shame, no one would begrudge this film being a few minutes longer.

Overall, a surprisingly needed sequel that does some really interesting things with its animation.

4/5

Pros.

Death

The surprisingly adult tone

Puss’s arc and journey throughout the film

The ending

Cons.

The side characters are wasted

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Daddy Day Care: The Adventures Of A Stay At Home Dad

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Eddie Murphy becomes a stay at home dad and then decides to turn his home into a day care centre.

This film was by no means awful, as some of Murphy’s later films are, but it was simply incredibly familiar and frankly lame. The plot of the film was so formulaic and played out that you knew exactly what was going to happen and when, and all of this was obvious from the jump, there were no surprises.

The humour was obviously for a younger audience a lot of slapstick and some gross out jokes these didn’t really land for me, but they did have a few more adult jokes that landed and made me laugh. On the whole I would say far more misses than hits.

However, what really does end up saving this film in my view is Eddie Murphy himself. Murphy brings a lot of charm and heart to the role and this helps to elevate the film beyond mediocre and into better territory. The end realisation that he was actually doing it to be closer to his own son all along and that it was better than the cushy advertising job he had before would had felt generic and dull with another actor but Murphy really sells it.

Overall, Murphy really does put in a lot to get this one over the line.

3/5

Pros.

Murphy

The heart

It is watchable

Cons.

More misses than hits with the jokes

It is incredibly predictable

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