Minions: This Is Why Children Are Dumb

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Who would have guessed that the vaguely racist lead of the Despicable Me films is the glue that is holding it all together. Yikes.

The Minions were the obvious breakout stars of the Despicable Me franchise however, what works in small doses peppered in around a wider story does not translate into being able to anchor their own film.

I found this film to be far more simplistic and childish than the previous films, which primarily aimed at kids, had enough depth and adult jokes to make both ages groups feel like they were getting something out of the film. This time here it is painfully dumb in humour and in writing, probably because the creatives thought ‘kids won’t know it’s bad’.

Moreover, the central story is so convoluted and all over the place that by the time you get to Sandra Bullock’s evil villain trying to take over from the Queen Of England, for reasons you are so lost and confused that you can’t properly regain an understanding of, and worse you don’t want to.

If I had to describe this film in a word it would be loud. It is loud and bright and there are a lot of things all happening at once to pander to the ever diminishing attention spans of children.

Overall, a definite low point for the franchise clearly brought out to try and get more milk out of the cow, but this milk is bad.

Pros.

It is watchable

The Minions are likeable

Cons.

It is dumb

It isn’t funny

It is hard to tell what is going on

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Peter Rabbit 2: Comments On Current Capitalistic Shortcoming By An Emo Rabbit, Featuring Product Placement

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This is an odd film both knowingly self-aware and also surprisingly reflective. Yes, it also has James Corden as a talking rabbit that wretches for a few minutes for a gag, pros and cons.

Something I want to point out about this film and many others referencing something as being bad and then doing it anyway does not make the film clever or meta if anything it makes the choice worse. This film does this by saying how bad it would be if the Peter Rabbit books were turned into American films and lost their way, they even look at the camera: they are simply stating a fact that in and off itself is not funny.

That said I did find this film surprisingly funny, both internationally and unintentionally. The Rooster and his deep thoughts about life remain the highlight of course, but I also found Domhnall Gleeson to be quite amusing this time around.

The story does feel a bit long in the tooth but has a nice message that manages to create happy feels by the end. Peter’s journey throughout the film does feel impactful and as there is growth there which is nice to see: Corden does his best to make the character off putting and irritating, but the film manages to prevail in spite of him.

I feel like this film was a step up from the first film and I wouldn’t be all that opposed to seeing a third film in the franchise.

Overall, a pleasant enough watch.

Pros.

The humour

The character growth

Domhnall Gleeson

Cons.

James Corden

The attempts at meta commentary

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Cruella: When Is This Film Set Does Anyone Know ? PS. That Is Not The Seventies

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Disney’s live action remakes will never get any love from me: they are an effort in baiting nostalgia and milking the past to make up for modern day creative failings- worse yet it seems to be working for them. Anyway, I went into this film with low expectations, the trailers didn’t inspire hope, however, after watching it I find myself mixed.

The biggest pro I can give this film is for Emma Stone’s performance. Stone manages to lose herself in the role, and truly become the character. I liked the fact that they didn’t go out of their way to make her sympathetic or even likeable most of the time, with that helping her feel more villainous and more like the character we would later come to know.

However, that is where the pros for the film grind to a halt. My biggest issue with this film was its style. From a design perspective this film is schizophrenic never really being able to decide what tone or even era it was going for- it is jarringly off putting.

Moreover, the plot and story of the film are laughably far fetch, with the film giving up on trying to explain itself midway through, thus creating so many plot holes that you begin to lose count.

Finally, there are plenty of characters in this narrative that serve no purpose and are redundant. Case in point Cruella’s childhood friend/reporter, who’s whole character arc is that she follows Cruella around and takes pictures; she has no character beyond that, nor does she have a need to be in this film at all.

Overall, not worth the price of admission wait until it is free on Disney +

Pros.

Emma Stone

Mark Strong

Cons.

The odd tone

The inconsistencies

The era/ and the fact the film can’t decide when it wants to be set

The logic

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Hop: So It Has Come To This

Hop

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

So my search for wholesome films to watch has brought me to this, my desperation is showing. I had heard nothing but bad things about this film, and yet I thought how bad can it be? Well, buckle up.

Firstly this film made me pine for the cookie cutter safe family films of Disney, where even the word ‘crud’ is probably a bit too strong. This should be a red flag to you, and it is not said without merit. This film is icky in a very odd way, especially when you consider who this film is aimed at. There are lines in this film where our animated main character refers to himself as sexy and also states in no uncertain terms his desire to bed the human leads sister- creepy and weird.

Moreover, the film can’t seem to decide on its own mythology, it makes up various things about the wider Easter Bunny mythos on the fly and changes them throughout the film in a similar manor, as you would assume this creates a number of issues and problems for the plot.

Furthermore, far be it for me to tell you the reader what is and isn’t a good message for your kids, or just kids generally, but I don’t think this film isn’t the way to go. Whereas other films might have a message of believing in yourself or being nice to outsiders, this film seems to live with the lessons of spite. The human lead played by James Marsden, the only real pro of the film, is a man child who achieves character growth by the end of the film by spiting his father- really?

Overall, this is poor and more than a little icky, the only positives are Marsden and the fact that it is often unintentionally hilarious for all the wrong reasons.

Pros.

Marsden

It is unintentionally funny

Cons.

The weird sexual stuff

The message

The logic of the film and the wider story

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The Secret Life Of Pets 2: Animal Abuse

The Secret Life Of Pets 2

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film was so dull and uninspired that I almost turned it off. I have at length in the past said that I prefer bad films to boring ones, because even if the film is bad sometimes it is still fun to watch; boring films are never fun to watch.

I thought this film would be better than the first one for the simple fact that it didn’t have alleged abuser Louise C. K in it anymore, and though that is true, Patton Oswald still can’t make the film any better. The voice cast in this film really struggles to connect, Kevin Hart and Tiffany Haddish are playing animal versions of themselves, and everyone else just feels like they are there for a quick pay day.

The film feels like it is trying to have an emotional impact, yet it fails badly. This film felt like it was just repeating the same emotional beats as other films yet done in a worse way that felt less impactful and ultimately was forgotten about quicker.

I thought the biggest sin of this film was the fact that it had so many sub plots and side stories that it quickly became confused and muddled, made worse by the fact that a lot of these were dull to the point of tedium.

Overall, mildly better than the first film but still a far cry from a good, animated film.

Pros

Slightly more entertaining

Still mercifully short

Cons.

Boring

Predictable

Muddled

Star Wars Rebels: Series Overview

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I enjoyed watching Clone Wars, so I thought I would give this series a go and I have to say it was even better. I think from being one complete narrative that plays in order and has a central group of characters to focus on this show manages to take all the best parts from Clone Wars an expand them.

If you remember from my series overview of Clone Wars the two things that bothered me about that show were, how it jumped around in time and in and out of episode order as well as how it would have multi episode asides focusing on characters no one really cared about, neither of these issues this show. There are a few droid episodes that are a little weak, but they still tie in and feel like they have a place within the wider story.

The best thing this show does is expanding the Star Wars universe outward, building on pre-existing characters and ideas whilst also adding new characters and ideas. When I first began watching the show I wasn’t a huge fan of Ezra, in fact I found the character annoying, but as the show went on he grew on me and the same was true of a lot of other characters to a point that by the end I was sad to say goodbye.

A personal highlight for me was seeing Rex, Ahsoka and Maul crossover into this show, I thought the series really came alive when they featured heavily in episodes.

Overall, a wonderful piece of Star Wars content for new and returning fans alike.

Pros.

The crossover characters

Expanding Star Wars cannon

Everything with the Inquisitors

The surprisingly emotional ending

Cons.

A few weaker episodes that were not focused on the main cast of characters

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Mitchell Vs The Machines: The Memes Of The Late Noughties

Mitchell Vs The Machines

3/5

There was a lot surrounding this film prior to release, Sony seemed to have no faith in the film moving it away from a delayed cinema release that would have seen it come out at Christmas opposite Soul, and instead releasing it on Netflix instead. I was aware of this prior to watching, so I had lowered expectations going in and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by this film.

Let me start off by saying this won’t be for everyone, it is a very loud film, and one that relies heavily on shared internet and meme culture. The memes featured in this film are not current either, the sort you would send to your friends, they are dated memes from the recent past that you vaguely remember, reminding you that old Hollywood executives are out of touch, even when they are trying to appeal to the ‘youth’.

I thought the writing of this film was mostly spot on, there were a few cringe moments, but for the most part the film seemed to understand its audience and knew how to make its subject matter emotionally impactful. Within animated cinema recently there seems to be a growing thematic trend of fathers and daughters, and though this film does not manage anything knew on that front it still manages to make you feel something. One of the final scenes of the film where the father and daughter have to say goodbye to each other as she is going off to college, does feel suitably Pixar esque and the emotion matches what that studio is known for- I had a tear in my eye.

Overall, Sony Animation often gets an unfairly bad rap, and though this film is not perfect, it is a fun, quirky and bold animated film that has a strong sense of personality.

Pros.

The emotion

The quirky sensibilities

A few funny moments

Cons.

There is some bad cringe moments

The memes and references are dated and quickly become a bit too much

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The Secret Life Of Pets: Its Better Not To Know

Written by Luke Barnes

The Secret Life Of Pets is an animated family film directed by Chris Renaud. The plot of the film answers the age old question, what do our pets do all day when we are not there?

Recently, I have been exploring Illumination Animation, I have gone through the Despicable Me films, check the site for those reviews, as such this film was next on my list.

I have to say though I had issues with the Despicable Me series there were still some redeeming aspects, here however, that is not the case. Never before in my history of watching films have I witnessed a more mismanaged and outrightly unlikable voice cast: there are some talented performers working here, but for the most part they are working with cliches and one note characters, so they are hamstrung from the beginning.

Moreover, when I realised that Louis C.K voiced the main character that made the film hard to watch for me. For those of you who don’t know C.K was accused of sexual harassment and abuse several years ago, as such hearing him in this film made me feel uncomfortable. Obviously the filmmakers couldn’t have known at the time when they cast him, but it does make the rewatch hard

Finally, the humour did nothing for me at all. To say it was juvenile would be an understatement, I have no issue with a good fart joke, but these just felt lazy.

Overall, a deeply average film made worse by a troublesome lead.

Pros.

The animation looked good

Cons.

The characters are lazy cliches

The humour doesn’t work

Louis C.K

It has no soul or charm

1/5

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Charlie And The Chocolate Factory: Turning Willy Wonka Into A Sociopath

Written by Luke Barnes

Charlie and The Chocolate Factory is a fantasy family film directed by Tim Burton, based on the Roald Dahl book of the same name. The plot sees a group of lucky golden ticket winners get to explore a mysterious chocolate factory that is beyond imagining.

When people ask what is the most needless remake? I don’t see this film’s name come up nearly enough. It is a step down from the original Gene Wilder version in nearly every way, and I truly do believe that Burton was the wrong choice to direct this film- the book is really the anthesis of his standard mo.

Johnny Depp is trying his best as Willy Wonka, but he doesn’t play the character in the way we would expect or want, instead he plays Wonka as a cold, almost vindictive at times character who is drawn off and eccentric. Again this is very typical for the Depp-Burton dynamic, but it is not what anyone would want for a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory film.

Freddie Highmore is meh as Charlie, and really adds very little to the film.

The worst bit about this film is just how keen it is to explain away the mystery behind Wonka and his past, creating a social outcast, daddy issues, sub plot because why not.

Overall, it is as if Burton and the executives who signed off on this film had never read the book before.

Pros.

A few minor unintentional laughs

Cons.

Depp is miscast

Burton and his style don’t fit the film

There is a crucial misunderstanding of the source material

They demystify Wonka

2/5

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Despicable Me 3: Throwing In A Long Lost Brother When You Run Out Of Ideas

Written by Luke Barnes

Despicable Me 3 is an animated family film directed by Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda. The plot sees Gru (Steve Carell), be fired from his job in the Anti-Villain League and have to find a way to prove to the new boss he has what it takes, to get his job back. The plot also sees Gru find out that he has a long lost twin brother called Dru (Steve Carell), who he never knew about.

All the same issues for the previous two films, that I have gone into detail about in my other reviews, are still here however, the new villain voiced by Trey Parker of South Park fame does provide a nice distraction.

Maybe I am bias, as I am a big South Park fan, but I really do think that Parker makes this film. He brings such an energy to his character of Balthazar Bratt, a faded 80’s child star who played the evil villain on TV and has tried to replicate it in his real adult life. Bratt is manic and zany and has some of the best lines in the series.

Overall, the sequels aren’t really any better or any worse for the most part they are of a consistent level, the good and bad factors still stay the same, so if you liked the other films you will like this to.

Pros.

Trey Parker

It is watchable

A few funny lines

Cons.

The character design

The needless side characters

Gru and Dru’s arc really goes nowhere

2.5/5