The Ballard Of Wallis Island: The Ultimate Stan Move

An oddball who wins the lottery, invites his favourite pop duo to his private island for a show after they have long since broken up.

This was quite a heart warming film and it doesn’t go the way you expect it to, you imagine the duo are going to get back together, musically and romantically, but in the end they don’t and that is presented as okay and a healthy step forward.

This film is not really a laugh a minute sort of film, I would almost hesitate to call it a comedy film, I would say it is more of a feel good film, it makes you smile rather than laugh. That is not to say there aren’t jokes in it, there are but that is not really what the film is going for.

You could I suppose argue it is a comedy drama film as there is a raw emotional side to this film, with the island owner being a widow who is incredibly sad, or the male half of the pop duo hating his life since the band broke up. This for once works as you do care about the characters so both sides of the comedy drama split hold up, you care about them and they make you smile but also you feel bad for them when you see how much pain they are in.

In many ways this is a rare beast these days an intelligent film that doesn’t need to be pretentious or tell you openly how deep it is, this is a film with hidden depth palpably throughout that is obvious to those who can recognise it.

Overall, a sweet film.

4/5

Pros.

The characters

The music

The charm

The emotional depth

Cons.

Some of the character arcs are perhaps not explored enough

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Bruce Springsteen Deliver Me From Nowhere: Wallowing In Depression

Summary

Bruce Springsteen is depressed.

That description sums up the entire two hour plus runtime of the film. You don’t need to watch it or read up any further that sums it up.

It was always going to be difficult to do a drama biopic of the life of The Boss, as unlike someone like Kurt Cobain, or Amy Winehouse he did not have the same level of demons. Yes he had a troubled relationship with his father here played by Stephen Graham, but other than that he was relatively clean. So they needed something to play up, and boy did they.

This film barely features any of Springsteen’s songs as it is doggedly set in a short time period in his life, so don’t expect many bops. Do expect scene after scene of him looking on at his childhood home as he sits in his car. The film really plays up this sense of he is mentally troubled and feeling down to such a point where it beings to feel melodramatic.

This may have worked if it was about the wider life of the man, and this was simply one of the sequences in it, quickly cut away from with a new song or event, but no the film felt the need to fixate on this period of The Boss’ life and show how he let down the girl who loved him and her little girl.

Overall, if you like Bruce Springsteen or his music this may not be for you.

2/5

Pros.

It has a few good songs, but most are absent.

It is well paced

Cons.

It is depressing

It is melodramatic

It does not feature a lot of his music

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Tomorrow: Guilt Is Both A Motivator And Destroyer

Summary

A Hollywood makeup artist faces a moral quandary for the ages.

So this film really captures the flawed nature of the human condition, it shows us as we are, base creatures that often do bad things, but also presents the spark of wanting to change, wanting to do the right thing in the end, in that sense this film is optimistic.

I found the characters to all be well rounded and to reflect the above message, I would say that what could be a very predictable sort of film manages to go in a surprising direction, and the ending hits a chord and leaves you thinking.

I think there is something beautiful about this film as it presents such a challenging view on life. I think there was a real chance that the lead protagonist could have felt unlikeable, however, I think the film manages to redeem them even though they are fundamentally flawed.

Overall, a touching examination of the human capacity for guilt.

4.5/5

Pros.

The message

The characters

The ending

It gives you something to reflect on in the end

It is well paced

Cons.

Some of the side characters need a little more to shine

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The Long Walk: Stephen King Slop

Summary

A group of boys go for a walk.

So the easiest way to describe this is to call it Stephen King slop. In that frame I mean if this film was not based on a short story by King it would not have been made, it is very forgettable and there is nothing novel about the premise.

Basically it is a forced march, people die if they stop walking. It is a comment on dystopia’s and authoritarian states, I must say I am thankful that I have not seen lots and lots of online comments going oh this is modern day America, however, it seems very likely that the people who made it wanted those sort of comments.

The characters each have one defining characteristic to them and they are not much beyond that, all very one dimensional. Moreover, there are lots of things that happen that you just have to turn your brain off to and ignore as if you thought about it too much your brain would explode as they make no sense. The fact that the kid that wins the overall walk doesn’t sleep and doesn’t need to due to the fact that he has had a tough life and is an orphan is one such thing you will notice over the course of the film.

Overall, deep unneeded.

1.5/5

Pros.

A few funny moments, unintentional.

It is short

Cons.

It is dull

The characters are one dimensional

You have seen things like this before

The ending is predictable

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Downton Abbey, The Grand Finale: The Scandal Of A Divorcee Having A One Night Stand

Summary

We return for one last trip to Downton Abbey.

In many ways this film was unnecessary, a lot of it felt like filler, and it didn’t really need to be a thing. However, it was nice escapist entertainment, and allowed you to return to a simpler time for an hour and change.

It did meaningfully close out the series/film saga in such a way as to suggest it is in fact the end. Homage was paid to the earlier seasons of the show, and moments that fans would remember, there was a sense of change that permeated the film, and whilst no major characters died there was enough done to provide a sense of finality.

I would say that Mary, Michelle Dockery, has the most boring plotline, with her being scandalised for her divorce, even in high society people would not have been so precious about it at that time. This stretched incredulity a bit too much. Coupled with the fact that she then had a one night stand and was blackmailed for it, it all seems very American and over the top. That is not what Downton is.

The plotline about Mary taking over Downton and becoming the lady of the house was far more well done and in keeping with the series.

Overall, a solid if somewhat unnecessary third film.

3/5

Pros.

It is fun escapism

There are some cheer worthy moments

The ending hits the right note

Cons.

It is unnecessary

The divorce storyline

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One Battle After Another: Left Wing Hollywood Is Radicalizing People

Summary

Leo joins Antifa.

Who thought this was a good idea in the current landscape? Charlie Kirk has just been killed in front of his family in broad day light, and you have a narrative about a group of left wing radicals bombing immigration centres to free the immigrants, with these being presented as heroic actions. You couldn’t make it up.

Not only are the characters detestable, but it makes you question Paul Thomas Anderson as a director and what he is trying to say here, as one could argue it falls into the category of inciting hatred.

On a lighter note we have the fulfilment of the left wing vision for how reality should be, wherein we have a heavily pregnant woman of colour running into a gun fight with the white man and acting like she is not only not at a huge physical disadvantage but also somehow winning. This is what the kids call delulu.

What this film feels like to me is the last gasps of the progressives in Hollywood trying to resist the cultural shift, they will nominate it for awards and call it stunning and brave, but no one will watch it and ultimately it will be studied in years to come as a what not to do in making something that dates itself and comes across as hating most of the cinema going audience.

0/5

Pros.

There are none

Cons.

It is hateful

It should have been pushed back and reshot

You are laughing at it and not with it

The message is horrible

It is badly paced and never seems to want to end

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The Surfer: Eat The Rat

Summary

A man, Nicolas Cage, wants to buy a house.

So this was a trippy film that made you lose the plot somewhere along the way on purpose. There are times in this film where even if you have been avidly paying attention the whole time you will be a bit lost, and not really understand what is going on and that is the fun of it.

If you enjoy Cage’s broader strangeness and want to get lost in a liminal space that resembles an Australian beach than you will likely enjoy this. However, if you find Cage’s shtick grating then you will not enjoy this film, really it is that simple.

In terms of Cage strangeness this is probably more of a subtle performance for him, there is less screaming and shouting, and he actually plays a man losing his mind in a more toned down way.

4/5

Eat the rat

The weirdness

Cage

There is fun to be had

Cons.

It is badly paced

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Squid Game The Final Season Overview: The Netflix Effect

Summary

Can this make-up for a disappointing second season?

The answer is no.

This never should have been broken up into two seasons, it should have been one long second season. The break creates a need for the first episode of this new season to explain what happened last time, which it doesn’t do very well.

Moreover, as you approach the ending of the series the writing seems to get a lot dumber and make a lot less sense, why wouldn’t they just take the baby, why would they make it a contestant, why would Lee Jung-Jae’s character leave the baby behind and sacrifice himself not knowing what would happen to it, why would you spend the whole series building up to the mercenaries finding the island and the battle therein only to have them mostly slaughtered by two fishing boat captains? All of these are good questions the writing doesn’t account for.

That is also without mentioning the Netflix of it all, with them needing to set up a spin-off show in the final episodes final minutes, with a gender flipped recruiter because why not inject in a girl boss. This leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth as the credits role and asks another very good question, why are they playing Korean games in America, why aren’t the American Squid Games playing American games?

Overall, just a massive disappointment.

1.5/5

Pros.

Some of the games are cool

There are interesting ideas

Cons.

The spin-off set up

The terrible writing particularly towards the end

The questionable character decisions

The pacing

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Humane: A True COVID Commentary

Summary

The idea of social conformity is put under pressure.

Whilst I admire Caitlyn Cronenberg for what she is trying to do here, I think she may be laying it on just a bit too thick. The idea is that the population is too large and people are volunteering to die, and when two people in this rich family volunteer and then one runs away they need to find someone else to kill otherwise they all die. Whilst this idea of state overreach and ridiculous responses to problems, a nod to covid, is interesting I find things quickly devolve into a cartoon.

The idea that the whole family turns on one member because they are a drug addict and not really part anyway, and then tries to kill him themselves so they can all go free makes them all intensely unlikeable. If the film had them all die then it would not be such a sticking point for me but it allows a number of them to live. We return to the notion of the cartoon.

Moreover, in the central scenario itself there are a number of ways in which they could try and escape it and get away, and yet they never seem to think to do that. Dumb writing at its extreme, I don’t mind dumb characters but when it gets to a point where you are sat there physically saying aloud why are you doing that you know something is wrong.

Overall, a good concept with poor execution.

2.5/5

Pros

The idea

The commentary

The world

Cons.

The dumb writing

The ending

The family themselves

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Penguin Lessons: Penguins Can Make Anyone More Likeable

Summary

A man, Steve Coogan, living in Argentina finds a new lease on life when he adopts a penguin.

So for the most part I enjoyed this film, if the ending had been different I would likely score it higher, but because this is based on a real life account I don’t think they could do anything about it.

Of course the issue with this film is that for two thirds of the run time it is a mostly life affirming experience about the positive impact animals can have on a person’s life, even during moments of strife such as when the police kidnap a young woman off the street and later arrest Coogan’s character the presence of the penguin makes it all less depressing and a little bit happier.

However, at the end as you can likely imagine the penguin dies and the film becomes depressing. I think this sort of pain can be familiar to anyone who has lost a pet, and it does mean the film ends on a down note which takes away from the broader uplift of it at the end. One could argue artistically that a bitter sweet ending is in itself uplifting as it reflects the power one life, in this case a penguin’s life, can have.

Overall, the film gets you to care deeply about the penguin and you feel that death keenly.

3/5

Pros.

Coogen

The bond between man and penguin

The life affirming moments

Cons

The pacing is off

The ending is depressing

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