Tusk: I Am The Walrus

Tusk is a horror comedy film directed by Kevin Smith. The plot sees internet famous podcaster Wallace Bryton (Justin Long), go to Canada in search of a weird story for his podcast, there he meets Howard Howe (Michael Parks), a man who is obsessed with bring his dead best friend Mr Tusk (a walrus), back to life. What follows is an increasingly menacing situation as Howe tries to turn Bryton into a human walrus hybrid.

This film marks the start of Smith’s True North trilogy, (which as of the time of writing only has Yoga Hosers as the other film in the trilogy), however unlike Hosers, this film is tonally a mess. Yoga Hosers was a comedy from the get-go, it didn’t take itself seriously and was slightly serious at times. Tusk, however, has moments when it tries to be serious and dark and moments that are comedic and over the top, these two parts of the film don’t mesh together and feel at odds with one another. It seems to be as though Smith couldn’t make his mind up over how he wanted the tone of this film to be.

The performances in this film are a mixed bag, one the one hand you have Parks who plays the crazed walrus fanatic superbly; he is menacing and threatening whenever he is on screen. However, Long is not a convincing hero, his Wallace is deeply unlikable (before you even find out how bad he is towards his girlfriend), from the moment he opens his mouth he is irritating. As a result of this you end up wanting him to suffer and be turned into a walrus as it seems a fitting punishment.

Johnny Depp as disgraced detective Lapointe is easily the best thing about this film and much like in Hosers has all the best lines. He is the only character you will remember once the credits role.

Overall, this is a weak start to Smith’s trilogy as it is tonally inconsistent and Long is loathsome. However Parks and Depp make up for it. A very so-so film.

Pros.

Depp

Parks

It is an interesting idea.

Cons.

Tonally inconsistencies.

Long.

The end.

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Slice: Doomed, Delivery Drivers

Slice is a comedy horror film directed by Austin Vesely. The film takes place in a world where supernatural beings are commonplace and no longer out of the ordinary, in this particular town, ghosts have been forced to move off their land and go and live in Ghost Town, their land was then turned into a shopping centre, then a pizza parlour. As our film picks up someone or something is killing the pizza delivery people and the whole town is thrown into a state of fear. Only a ghost and a Werewolf can save the day.

This might as well be a comedy film, there is nothing scary about it. Yes, there are ghosts and witches and what not, but they are handled so calmly that they aren’t scary at all, but that is the point. As a comedy film, this is quite strong, there are a number of good jokes and amusing surprise cameos, it might not have made me laugh all the way throughout, but I was smiling a lot as I watched it.

The thing that is the most commendable about this film is the scope of it, its creativity, and its world. The first 20 minutes of the film are very exposition heavy, a lot of stuff is set up, and through this a very dense very well-crafted fantasy world is created. I would love to see more from this world where a portal to hell can appear under a pizzeria; the world reminded me in a lot of ways of the world of What We Do In The Shadows.

Zazie Beetz is a strong lead, she brings a large amount of style and personality to the role of Astrid and is also convincing as a vigilante in the closing act of the film, but we already know she can play the action hero role well, because of her role in Deadpool 2, she is easily the best actor in the film.

Overall, though it has some issues, this is still a very interesting, imaginative film that will make you laugh.

Pros.

The world.

The cameos.

Zazie Beetz.

Cons.

Most of the characters are forgettable.

It doesn’t leave a huge impact on you.

The second act is a slog.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

We Summon The Darkness: Christianity, Satanism and Heavy Metal Music

We Summon The Darkness is a metal themed horror film directed by Marc Meyers. The plot sees 3 girls head to a rock show, whilst there they meet a group of boys, the girls then proceed to drug them and kill them. They do this to bin blame on Satanists, and create a moral panic sending people into the arms of their hardcore church.

I don’t know if I have seen too many of these sort of horror films or what, but the idea of a few of these guys dying and then the remaining hero picking off the evil religious fanatics one by one, eventually converting one of them and then getting away at the end, just feel cliché to me at this point. This film is nothing new, there are a million other horror films out there will slightly different, but overall the same premise and I for one am bored of them.

This film has one or two neat ideas, the premise is solid and could be done well, however it isn’t. It’s dull. Alexandra Daddario is having fun as Alexis the leader of the female fanatic trio, she is manic and over the top at every turn, which does get slightly grating after a while, but she is clearly trying to get away from her more family friendly image. She is the best performer in the film by a country mile and I applaud her for giving it her all. Sadly the direction and writing just weren’t there.

Moreover, Johnny Knoxville plays Alexis dad Pastor John Henry Butler, so if you wanted a blast for the past watch this film. Good on Knoxville for still trying, he too gives it everything he has and actually manages to shift his normally nice guy persona and be menacing at times. I think the acting of Knoxville and to an extent Daddario show up the rest of the cast and put them to shame a little bit.

Overall, a film with this premise, with Alexandra Daddario and Johnny Knoxville in, shouldn’t have been as boring as this film was.

Pros.

Cool premise.

Daddario.

Knoxville.

Cons.

The execution of the premise is disappointing.

The rest of the acting sucks.

It feels ten a penny.

It is dull/ painfully slow at time.

2/5

Porno: The Devil Finds Work For Idle Hands

Porno is a horror comedy film directed by Keola Racela. The plot centres around a group of people who work at a cinema in a small deeply Christian town in America. One evening when the manager of the cinema is out, the group find themselves rummaging around in recently opened ruins beneath their place of work; the ruins of an adult cinema. While they’re there they find a reel of film footage, that they decide to play, however once they do, they find it is full of the devil’s tempting smut and that playing it has also summoned a succubus (Katelyn Pierce).

To me this film was hilariously absurd, the juxtaposition of having these Bible loving teens who think that porn is the work of the devil, having to fight a succubus that is playing off their deepest sexual desires is a genius premise that is guaranteed to make you laugh. The horror of the film mainly comes from how the succubus seems to kill/feed on people, by making their testicles explode, the gore factor here is done tastefully, never once does it become too much to handle.

The nudity is quite gratuitous, whenever the succubus is one screen, she is nude, but I suppose that makes sense. If nudity of both the male and female kind makes you feel uncomfortable then be warned.

The comedy of the film mainly plays out of the absurd nature of the film and just how God fearing these teens are, which makes for a refreshing change to how teens normally are in horror films. I think for sure the balance between comedy and horror here is askew, it is for sure more of a comedy than a horror and the film really isn’t scary in any way.

There are some neat visuals on display here, mainly during the trippy film sequence, that are quite memorable and intense; during this same sequence there is also a lot of flashing lights so watch out for that to.

Overall, this is a solidly entertaining comedy horror film. Very easy to watch, good for a laugh, and some good gore.

Pros.

The premise.

The juxtaposition.

The gore.

The comedy and some of the cool visuals.

Cons.

The nudity is a bit much and could definitely be called gratuitous.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

A Descent Into Horror And Madness: My Top 5 Shudder Recommendations

Shudder bills itself as the Netflix of horror films, they claim to have something for every kind of horror fan. Their library is made up of some old classics and some original content, there are gems to be found if you know where to look. Fear not dear reader, over the last month (ish), I have been on an odyssey going through Shudders entire back catalogue; only the stuff that interested me though mind. As such, I have written this post to give you some hand-picked recommendations; which hopefully will scratch your horror ich and maybe give you some new horror favourites. In the UK you can get Shudder as an extension to your Amazon account, it will come up as a video channel. I don’t know how you get it elsewhere.

Body At Brighton Rock

This goofy camp thriller soon takes a turn to the dark side. Set in an American national park, a ranger get lost and has to spend the night next to a corpse. There is a lot going on here and the twist at the end is genius. It is absolutely dripping in style and has such a unique voice. The horror with this one comes from the idea of being stranded in the woods alone over night; which in and of itself is a terrifying thought. She also fights a bear briefly so there is that!

Stitches

Stitches is a pitch-black horror comedy about a dead clown who has come back to get his revenge on the group of kids that killed him. This is a rare treat as it is a horror comedy that actually manages to be both scary and funny. Ross Nobel nails the jokes and there are several laugh out loud moments, he is also menacing as hell. Another two reasons this is great is because it creates a fantastically weird mythology for clowns and also because it has some of the best gore, I have ever seen in a horror film.

Dead Hooker In The Trunk

This is the debut film of the Soska Sisters that should be all you need to know. However for those of you who aren’t die hard fans, this film kicks ass because it is a low budget exploitation esque film and knows it. The look of the film is very early Robert Rodriguez, grindhousey and grainy, the sort of film that looks like it was shot on film but wasn’t. The Sisters are standout as the lead characters, but there are also plenty of other memorable characters and moments. It was this film that put them on Eli Roth’s radar.

The Hell House Trilogy

Found footage as a genre is played out, it is very, and I do mean very rare to get a good found footage film, yet the first Hell House LLC is just that. The series is about a hotel that is also a gateway to hell and as you can imagine a lot of ghostly goings on happen in the hotel and different groups of people fall prey to them over the course of the series. Though the second film is a dip in quality for sure, all three of these films are good found footage films and the ending of the third film may be the best ending to a series I have ever seen, no spoilers here though.

Monster Party/Killer Party

This dark comedy film is about a group of thieves that break into a house to find a meeting of recovering murders going on. It is worth a watch for that premise alone, however what follows is a tense well-acted masterclass in suspense. What’s more it has Lance Reddick in, and that man can do no wrong, he is great as a crazed cult leader. This film is manic and maddening in the best way.

Bonus Recommendations

Mayhem is a great film, with a terrific sense of angry energy and one hell of a performance by Samara Weaving, if you like The Babysitter and Ready Or Not you will love this.

Also The Midnight Swim is superb and one of the most unsettling films I have ever seen, to say more would ruin it.

I have full spoiler reviews of all of these films up on the site, so check them out to after you have watched them, or before if you’re not bothered about spoilers; either way.

I hope you enjoy these films as much as I did, happy viewing!

Written by Luke

Cheap Thrills: What Would You Do For A Million?

Cheap Thrills is a crime, dark comedy film directed E.L Katz. The plot sees a rich couple pay two poor hard done by men an ever-increasing amount of money too do things for their amusement. They make the men compete through a series of wagers that become increasingly dark, including mutilation and eating a dead dog.

I think the premise of this film leaves a lot of food for thought, the question it left me with is how far are we willing to go to be rich? The two men in this film are in dire need of cash, Craig (Pat Healy), is one the verge of being evicted, which would result in him and his young family becoming homeless and Vince (Ethan Embry) risks going to prison every day through what he does to make money. Despite this I think the question can apply to us all, if someone offered you a million pounds/dollars whatever, what would you do for it?

I was glad that the bets that the men had to do to earn the money were all tasteful, yes, the dog eating scene was uncomfortable, but at least it was shot well so we didn’t see too much of it. My point is that this film could have been a lot sicker, a lot darker and I am glad it didn’t go in that direction.

The film has a lot of great twists and turns and you can never really tell where it is going to go, just when you think that you have figured out what is going on it takes another path, none of the characters or events are what you think they’re.

Embry is the only member of the cast that leave an impression, his Vince is deeply hateable, and you see over the course of the film that there is nothing he won’t do to get the money, including cheating. He is a great love to hate character.

A question I have for the film, or anyone who has seen it, is what was the point of Sara Paxton’s character? She does nothing, she says nothing, the only reason I can see they wrote her in was to have sex with Craig which if true would be icky and exploitative. Her character literally might have 3 lines in the whole film, a lot of the time she just stairs off into space.

Overall, the questions the film raises are more interesting than the film itself. However the film is worth watching for those questions alone.

Pros.

Ethan Embrey.

It is done tastefully.

It raises some neat questions.

Cons.

Other than Embrey that characters are forgettable.

Sara Paxton’s character.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The ABC’s Of Death: Bring Back Moral Panics!

The ABCs Of Death is a 26-part horror anthology film with each segment being directed by a different person and being about a different letter of the alphabet. The film features such popular directors as Adam Wingard and Ben Wheatley.

Before I get into the review in depth, I just want to say don’t watch this film! I understand the need in cinema, especially in the horror genre, to be shocking and boundary pushing, but this film is just cheap shock value, it has no class, no taste, it is just edgy for the sake of being edgy. An example of my point, in Ti West’s segment M Is For Miscarriage the whole point of the story is a women looking for a plunger to push her stillborn kid down the toilet, there is nothing more to it than that, it is handled poorly and with questionable taste; also that is one of the more tame examples from this anthology.

There are plenty of other segments that feature, rape, paedophilia, illusions to bestiality, dog fighting and many other horrible things, not one of them is handled with any taste, it is all shock for shock value. Surprisingly one of the ones I just mentioned the dog fighting one directed by Marcel Sarmiento, is probably the one with the most taste; that is not something I expected to be writing this morning.

I can break down the shorts into 4 categories, good or at least well done, these are the segments by Wingard, Wheatly, Adrian Garcia Bogliano, Lee Hardcastle and Banjong Pisanthanakun. The weird stuff this includes the furry segment, the farting segment and the final segment. The average/ boring stuff, this includes the surfing segment and the life cycle one and then the offensively bad/ done in poor taste, which includes most everything else. So as you can see it is truly a mixed bag, with very few well done segments.

Finally, unlike something like V/H/S where are all of the segments worked together, they were separate and individual, but they all had the same feel and tone, the tone in this film is wildly all over the place, you have really dark unpleasant segments, followed by light and fluffy stuff and it is jarring to say the least.

Overall, this has been one of the toughest films I have watched recently and not only do I not recommend it, I advise you to stay away from it, you could probably find more cultured nuanced horror on Youtube. A black mark on some of the biggest names in horror.

Pros.

There is about 5/26 good segments.

Cons.

Most of the segments are horrible.

It is incredibly hard to watch.

It is done in such poor taste I would call it offensive.

The tonal inconsistencies and also the lack of effort by some, looking at you Ti West.

1/5

Dead Shack: Zombies Gotta Eat

Dead Shack is a comedy horror film directed by Peter Ricq. The plot sees a family go to stay in the countryside, once they’re there the children of the family realise that there is something wrong with the woman next-door; she is feeding people to her zombie family, and their parents seem to be next on the menu.

The first 45 minutes of this film are a slog, boring, confusing, and poorly done. The opening cinematography choice of using a collection of bird’s eye shots, while we hear diegetic audio that we can’t see, is jarring and not nice to watch. This turned me off the film before it had even begun.

It is also confusing because as we are introduced to the characters, all of whom are incredibly bland barring the father of the family Roger (Donovan Stinson), we don’t understand how they are related. This is particularly true of Jason (Matthew Nelson-Mahood), even after watching it till the end, I still don’t understand why he was there or who he was to the family; it seems needless obtuse.

The only positive of this first half of the film is Roger, the dad, who is hilarious. Comedy in this film is a strange beast because whenever anyone other than Roger makes a joke it falls flat and is painfully unfunny, but when Roger does it he actually manages to make you laugh; reminding you that this film is supposed to be a comedy horror, rather than just bland. This a testament to Stinson’s comedic abilities.

The second half of the film is better as it focuses on the showdown between the kids and the neighbour, there is no weird cinematography or editing choices, it flows much better, it actually gives you some faith in the film. The showdown itself is well done and we get some nice gore and a few shocks, it is not enough to be remembered after you have finished it mind, but it is still far, far better than the first half.

Overall, this is an okay film, there are a few good jokes and the second half is watchable. However, the first half is a real drag to watch so I really can’t recommend it.

Pros.

Donovan Stinson.

The second half really turns it around.

Cons.

Bad filmmaking decisions.

Terrible characters.

One of the worst first halves I’ve seen in a long time.

1.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Zombie Spring Breakers: Hans After Peep Show

Zombie Spring Breakers is a horror comedy directed by Andy Edwards. The plot sees a group of young people head off to Ibiza to escape all the pressure of back home, namely a zombie outbreak. However, surprise surprise the party island hasn’t been able to keep the zombies out and the island becomes infected soon after their arrival and our plucky group needs to escape.

This is great horror junk food; will it change the world or reinvent the genre? No. However, it is good for a few good laughs and some gory kills. This is defiantly a zombie comedy rather than a horror comedy as there is no horror in this film at all, this film doesn’t even consider trying to balance the two genre it just throws everything into the comedy.

With that it mind, this film is funny it does have it’s moments, not all of the jokes land it isn’t a joke a minute, none stop, laughing fit, but it will give you a smile or two while you watch it. The main comedic force in this film is Matt King (of Peep Show fame), who plays the film’s villain, evil club owner Karl. King has all the best lines and every time we get to see him interact with another member of the cast or deliver a line; we get to see why he is such a talented performer; if it wasn’t for him this film would be easily forgotten.

The rest of the cast is fine, they are serviceable enough, they won’t blow you away. None of them are really memorable and you will forget them when the film ends. They are the usual collection of stereotypes and character types, as you probably aren’t surprised, but at least they seem to have good on-screen chemistry together.

Overall, this is the sort of film that won’t affect you either way if you miss it, however if one night it is on the TV and you’re bored and maybe a little drunk there is far worse things to watch.

Pros.

Matt King.

The cast have good chemistry.

Cons.

The characters are boring, bland and forgettable.

There is no horror.

Lots of it makes no sense at all.

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Mayhem: Corporate Is A Killer

Mayhem is horror comedy film directed by Joe Lynch. The plot sees hard working office worker Derek (Steven Yuen), trying to reclaim his job amidst a pandemic outbreak. This pathogen breaks down people’s inhibitions and makes them give into their baser impulses including lust and murder. In a very Raid esque way, Derek and pissed off client Melanie (Samara Weaving), have to beat/kill each one of the important office figures to get their key cards allowing them to get to the top of the building and plead their respective cases.

This film is excellent, it manages to tap into to that inner anger that anyone who has ever worked a job they hate has within them, pure rage. This becomes a nice undertone to the film that when coupled with the copious amounts of gore throughout the film feels almost primal.

The gore is top notch, it feels like punctuation to a bloody point, never does it feel needless or gratuitous it feels just right. My favourite kill in the whole film is when they disembowel ‘The Reaper’ when a handsaw, it is so unexpected and well done it made me laugh with gory glee.

Both Yuen and Weaving are on top form here, Yuen is believable as a man pushed to the edge. He manages to be easy to root for despite all the bad things he does throughout the film, more over Derek’s voice over also leads to many hilarious moments that are genuinely funny and sharp.

Weaving once again proves that not only is she a great upcoming talent, but also a budding action heroine. She has great on-screen chemistry with Yuen and the two make for a great pair, I would love to see them in more together. Weaving plays the role of Melanie with the same metal charm as she has shown in her other big screen performances thus far and every second of her performance here is magnificent.

Overall, this film has a really frustrated feel to it, it feels angry at the world and it is a hell of a watch. We go on a journey with these characters and the ending feels very satisfying definitely worth the watch.

Pros.

Yuen and Weaving are both fantastic.

It has a great angry energy to it.

The gore is spectacular.

The ending feels satisfying.

Cons.

It does get a little repetitive towards the end.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke