Santa Inc: Father Christmas Is A Patriarchal White Supremacist

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young elf, voiced by Sarah Silverman, dreams of becoming the new Santa Clause and whilst doing it preaches on every hot button political topic and takes a big dump all over Christmas itself.

This show highlights everything wrong with modern day Hollywood to the letter. It is not funny, it makes constant political statements in an attempt to be funny or topical but fails at both, none of the characters are likeable and each is more annoying than the last, and finally it preaches and in that I take my biggest issue.

Don’t be like me, don’t sit through eight hours of being preached to and told how bad you are and how bad humanity in general is. Within the first few minutes of the show they make a joke about vaccination and the holocaust, because why have fun at all right? This show feels like the worst parts of adult animated comedy the parts that want to be edgy for the sake of being edgy and ultimately just feel needless and irritating.

Another major issue with this show is that it clearly hates Christmas, it takes every attempt it is given to tear down Christmas and those associated with it, do you like Santa Clause? Not anymore because he is part of the patriarchy. That is the essence of this show.

Finally in a move that shows just how out of touch actors are Sarah Silverman and Seth Rogen, both key voices in the show, have allegedly said that anyone who doesn’t like the show is a white supremacist, which makes zero sense. However, what it does do is make me less likely to check out Rogen’s work in the future.

Overall, making something to attack Christmas and that is edgy for edgy sake is never going to be good.

Pros.

None

Cons.

It is too long

It isn’t funny

None of the characters are likeable

The constant political points/preaching

Being edgy for the sake of being edgy

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A Castle For Christmas: Escaping To Scotland

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Famous author Sophie Brown, played by Brooke Shields, heads to Scotland to avoid an angry fan backlash. Whilst there she buys a castle and falls in love with its Duke.

I found this film to actually be quite enjoyable in a goofy Netflix Christmas movie sort of way. Yes, if I were Scottish I would be offended by this film, it really does not understand Scottish culture at all and sometimes feels like it is making it up as it goes along, however there is enough charm to get you to enjoy it anyway.

I found the characters of Sophie and The Duke, played by Cary Elwes, to both be fun and likeable. Yes, they both had the usual cliché misunderstandings and stereotypical moments but I still found myself caring about both of the characters and their relationship as a whole. I thought the ending was sweet and it made me smile, there are enough sweet moments here to make this film a fun Christmas watch.

Overall, a lot of sweet moments and a fun Netflix Christmas film.

Pros.

It is sweet

It is funny

Shields and Elwes are both good.

Cons.

The way it portrays Scottish culture

It uses a lot of cliches

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Off The Rails: Singing Song Lyrics Out Loud To Signify You Are Sad

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of friends get together after the death of one of their member and decide to go on a European trip.

Frankly there just isn’t anything new about this film, you have seen this film before and no the film doesn’t do anything new with it.

A bigger issue with this film is the fact that it is overly sentimental and that none of its emotion comes across and genuine or heartfelt. Rather it comes across as depressing. All of the emotional moments in this film feel cliched and predictable and as such have no impact. By the end of the film you are left feeling depressed and as though you might have wasted your time.

This film makes a big deal out of the fact that it heavily features the music of Blondie, even having the characters singing lyrics in supposedly sad moments for some reason, however even as a Blondie fan I didn’t find anything particularly impressive about this. Other than the very ham-fisted way I have already mentioned the catalogue of songs are not used for any real purpose.

Overall, though I like Sally Phillips, and she is a saving grace here, this film is simply depressing and played out.

Pros.

Phillips

It is short

Cons.

It is depressing

They waste Blondie

The emotion doesn’t land and feels fake

Judy Dench is forced in for no reason

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Walk Of Shame: Stop The Slut Shaming Hollywood

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A woman, played by Elizabeth Banks, almost misses out on the job interview of her life after a drunk night out, awaking in unfamiliar terrain.

What to say about this film that hasn’t already been said. I find it amusing that someone who is as outspokenly feminist as Elizabeth Banks, looks at how she handled the failure of Charlies Angels for more, appeared in this deeply sexist and troublesome film. It shows how someone’s opinions can change on a trend. Though maybe I am overly harsh on Banks.

This film is simply awful in many ways, namely the fact that it is not even remotely funny and is instead intent on just reusing stereotypes and quietly slut shaming its protagonist for laughs. Not a single one of the jokes land and worse yet a lot of them are off putting and leave you feel angry at whoever wrote them down, this film is crass and misogynistic in the extreme.

Ultimately I just feel like films with this kind of lazy old fashioned narrative just aren’t needed or wanted anymore, and everyone involved probably wants to forget it.

Overall, widely problematic and unfunny.

Pros.

It is short

Banks has a few chuckle worthy lines

Cons.

Rampantly sexist

It is not funny

Banks deserves better than this

The message of it is all wrong

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South Park Post Covid: The Future Is Bleak, Especially If You Are Apathetic To Covid

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The kids of South Park are now men forced to return to their home town after the death of one of their own, in a world still ravaged by covid.

Honestly I think the main reason for my low score is because I am personally I am really bored of covid and talking about it, seeing this whole hour special just go on and on about it became old quickly. I wish it could have been about anything else.

That said I do admire the show for lampooning the current crisis and laughing at how extremely over the top some people have been about it, acting like it is the end of days or something. I thought this coupled with the side plot about comedy in the era of cancel culture/ woke comedy were really interesting and insightful comments on where we are right now as a species.

I didn’t think this was the funniest thing I have ever seen from South Park as though there were a few jokes that landed, and landed well for that matter, for the most part they left me cold. I don’t know if it is because of my apathy towards hearing about covid but I didn’t find myself laughing a whole lot here.

Overall, if this hadn’t been about covid I probably would have found it funnier.

Pros.

A few good jokes

Not being afraid to laughable at how over the top some people have been with covid

Comments about woke comedy

Cons.

I am bored of covid narratives

It is not hugely funny

The central mystery is not all that interesting

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8 Bit Christmas: Do You Remember The Eighties:Of Course You Do

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A child, played by Winslow Fegley, must overcome a sea of obstacles to get a Nintendo games console for Christmas.

This film took eighties nostalgia, which is already quite a tapped out well, and went too far with it. Though I enjoyed the sentiment of the film and thought a lot of its messages were good, I thought the film leant far too heavily into eighties nostalgia and showed us all the things we have seen before, and all too recently at that.

I could never hate this film as it features Neil Patrick Harris in a leading role. Harris is as terrific as always and manages to get a number of good jokes here. I particularly enjoyed the film’s final scene which I thought really hammered home the emotional message of the film, I thought during this scene Harris did a magnificent job of selling the emotion of the scene and turning something that could have felt quite overly sentimental into just poignant enough to resonate.

The laughs were quite sparse for me, like I said Harris has a few funny lines but outside of that the film is quite lacking with most of the jokes not landing. I found a lot of the side characters to be quite annoying and the video game violence subplot to be not only annoying but deeply caricature like of everyone involved, it was silly to include if they had nothing meaningful to say on it.

Overall, a very meh Christmas film that manages to sneak past average thanks to Neil Patrick Harris and a powerful emotional ending.

Pros.

Harris

The ending

A few funny jokes

Cons.

Annoying side characters

Far too reliant on eighties nostalgia

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The Sitter: Children Are Evil

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An unemployed slacker, played by Jonah Hill, takes up a job babysitting three kids little does he know just how much he has taken on and how much trouble it will be.

Okay I’ll admit it, every now and then I like a trashy comedy. I won’t sit here and pretend to be highbrow. My sense of humour is darkly juvenile and/or edgy for sure. As such I actually found this film to be quite funny, I wouldn’t say all of the jokes landed but about sixty percent of them did and that pushes the ratio in a positive direction.

I found the film to be surprisingly heart felt at times as well, yes it won’t win any awards for the more serious moments, but I thought when the film took a break to reflect it really worked well. I particularly enjoyed how Hill’s character realised slowly over the course of the film that he was in a toxic relationship; I thought these moments felt earnt and well done.

Sam Rockwell is a delight as the villain though I would say he is underused.

In terms of issues I would say this film is a little too reliant on gross out humour, or little kids saying bad words humour, neither of which land well and more often than not come across of quite desperate.

Overall, a funny trashy comedy film that won’t blow you away and is a bit too reliant on gross out humour.

Pros.

The heartfelt moments

A good number of funny jokes

Hill

Cons.

Too much gross out humour

The ending

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The Change Up: Man Isn’t Having Kids A Hassle, Who Knew?

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A single guy, played by Ryan Reynolds, and a married guy with three kids, played by Jason Bateman, switch places because…… comedy.

The only word I can find to describe this film is lame. The comedy is lame, the plot is lame, the ending is lame. The whole film is just disappointing and weak. There might have been some comedy to the premise, I doubt it but maybe, however even if there was this film does nothing with and just pumps out deeply unfunny joke after deeply unfunny joke, with some cliches and stereotypes mixed in for good measure.

To some Reynold’s reached the apex of his career with Deadpool, others saw it as the beginning of his decline. However, this film shows how the former is more apt, this is a Reynolds firmly in his trash period where he is just trying to get noticed and hit it big. His charm is mostly wasted here and his character is just presented as the stereotypical guy who has a lot of sex but is actually deeper than that, yawn.

Bateman is like wisely by the numbers and this film feels very much like a pay check role for him.

Overall, films like this need to go away, comedy films deserve to be more than just the trotting out of stereotypes and the same lame jokes.

Pros.

Reynolds still has charm

Cons.

Reynolds is wasted

Bateman is by the numbers

The jokes don’t land

The over-reliance on stereotypes

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Black Friday: Working In Retail Is Hell

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Retail workers on Black Friday must do battle against alien creatures that possess people and turn them into zombie like creatures.

When I saw the trailer for this film I had such high hopes and I was disappointed when I actually saw it.

This film boasts horror icons Devon Sawa and Bruce Campbell but even their horror pedigree can’t help this film, sadly all icons make bad decisions from time to time and this is certainly one of them. Neither Campbell nor Sawa is given anything particularly interesting to do and as such there characters each feel very one note. This becomes even more of an issue as the group of characters that become more of a central focus by the end of the film are both boring and irritating.

In terms of horror this is incredibly by the numbers. You have seen this film before, the premise is nothing new. Some people are praising this film by saying that it is very reflective of the retail experience however, I feel other horror films have done even that better before. There is certainly nothing scary about this film, the only thing scary about it is how long it goes on for.

It has strong pacing issues.

Overall, simply disappointing a waste of good talent.

Pros

It is watchable

A few good moments

Campbell has natural charm that even this film can’t hide

Cons.

It is not scary

It is generic

It has pacing issues

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Year One: Tameness Killed The Dinosaurs And This Films Box Office

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two slacker hunter-gathers, played by Jack Black and Michael Cera, are banished from their tribe and are forced to travel to the Biblical city of Sodom.

I have a fondness in my heart for this film as when I was younger I saw it several times at my local cinema, why? Well because nothing else was on and I liked going. Therein lies the problem. There is something of an acceptance to be average with this film, there are many ways it could improve itself but it doesn’t because it seems to want to try and please everyone whilst also being deeply average.

Black and Cera are fine they are trotting out more of the same shtick that we have seen from them time and time before, so your enjoyment of them here will be dependent on how you feel about their respective shticks. The comedy is mainly misses however there are one or two funny moments especially with the Biblical characters that make cameo appearances.

This is one of those films that I would not be surprised to hear the studio was heavily involved in. There is a tameness to the comedy and the film as a whole that feels very marketed research and corporate. On the whole this film feels very much like a bill paying exercise where no one really cared.

Overall, it is watchable for sure but not much else.

Pros.

I like the shtick of both Black and Cera

It is watchable

Cons.

It has pacing issues galore

It is too tame

It feel content being average

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