Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: Disney Coming In To Ruin Another Franchise

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A new animated take on the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid books by Jeff Kinney.

Where to begin on what went wrong with this film.

I think the most obvious place to start is that this film is a carbon copy of the much better live action version, it lifts scenes and lines of dialogue from that film and that just serves to remind you how needless this film really is, it is an animated reskin of a better product that came out just long ago enough for kids today to not remember it.

Speaking of the animation there is something noticeably off with it. I can’t quite put my finger on what is wrong, but there is certainly something going wrong with the lighting and the framing of it a lot of the time throughout the film. The animation style itself is fairly ugly, I understand they have chosen it to look closer to the books however it looks cheap and low rent.

The voice cast for the most part is doing their best to mimic the performances from the beloved live action films, and whilst in a few cases the effort is valiant, it never really rises to the occasion and lacks a lot of the charm and the warmth that made the performances in the live action films what they were.

Overall, entirely needless.

Pros.

It is short and if you close your eyes at times it feels like you are watching the live action version.

Cons.

The animation is off

It feels wholly unneeded and unoriginal

It is unfunny

It lacks any charm or warmth

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Click And Collect: Would You Steal From A Sick Kid?

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Steven Merchant and Asim Chaudhry must go on a cross country road trip in order to get Merchant characters’ daughter a toy for Christmas.

I thought this film was honestly just pretty average, it had a few laughs but at the end of the day it wasn’t anything I hadn’t seen before. It was an odd couple pairing that initially grate on one another and then eventually become friends, like I say nothing new.

Merchant plays it a little too straight and almost becomes unlikeable for big parts of the film, I understand being neurotic but that doesn’t make you a dick. Chaudhry on the other hand has a much better showing and is the heart and soul of the film, you really do end up caring for him by the end.

The comedy is fairly missing. I would say I chuckled maybe once or twice during the runtime of the film and that was probably about it. It’s not funny really, however it is watchable.

Overall, fairly average.

Pros.

Chaudhry

It is watchable

The ending

Cons.

Merchant

The odd couple pairing feels played out

It wastes Sophia Di Martino

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Office Christmas Party: A Room Full Of Regret

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The wacky goings on at an office Christmas Party.

My, my. How could they get a cast together with this many comedic actors and produce such a dud?

This film reeks to me of a corporate comedy. One made by a focus group at the behest of a room full of executives trying to guess at what people find funny, as such it is both overly tame and weak whilst also trying to force in edginess that doesn’t naturally lend itself to the film at all.

As you might assume this doesn’t lead to the film being funny at all. Most of the cast are wasted, or are used in ways that don’t produce any laughs, a good example of this would be Kate McKinnon who is just doing her usual shtick but this time has turned it up even higher. I would say Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston are serviceable but nothing more than that and that rather surprisingly Olivia Munn actually ends up being the comedic standout of the film and the only one who had any funny lines.

The film also features T.J Miller before the sexual abuse allegations came out, and he is just awful here. His jokes range from creepy to irritating and I think we can all agree that it is a good thing his face won’t be darkening our collective door anymore.

Overall, a weak, tame and factory produced comedy.

Pros.

Munn

Bateman and Aniston are trying to keep it together

Cons.

It is overstuffed

It isn’t funny

T.J Miller

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Boxing Day: Maybe Skip A Family Christmas

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Melvin, played by Aml Ameen, brings his girlfriend, played by Aja Naomi King, home to face the family. A whirlwind ensues.

This film really wasn’t for me. It was unfunny to the point of annoyance and seemed to stretch on and on without any sign of it ending. I don’t think this film had me laugh once throughout.

Moreover, the wider cast were also poorly served, as the film reaches to give them depth but fails and instead just leaves us with a group of characters who are shallow, forgettable and ultimately unlikeable. Worse than all of that a lot of these characters are just written as cliches and tropes that we have all seen hundreds of times before.

Therein lies the big problem with this film for me, it is incredibly been there and done that. From the off you can see where everything is going and rather than try and surprise you the film instead just plays out in an incredibly predictable way with all the generic holiday rom-com plot beats being hit as if the screen writers are trying to tick boxes on a list.

Overall, this film did little for me besides waste my time

Pros.

The ending dance number

I liked the mother stepfather romance

Cons.

It isn’t funny

It has pacing issues

A lot of the side characters are annoying

It relies heavily on cliches and stereotypes

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Santa Inc: Father Christmas Is A Patriarchal White Supremacist

0/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young elf, voiced by Sarah Silverman, dreams of becoming the new Santa Clause and whilst doing it preaches on every hot button political topic and takes a big dump all over Christmas itself.

This show highlights everything wrong with modern day Hollywood to the letter. It is not funny, it makes constant political statements in an attempt to be funny or topical but fails at both, none of the characters are likeable and each is more annoying than the last, and finally it preaches and in that I take my biggest issue.

Don’t be like me, don’t sit through eight hours of being preached to and told how bad you are and how bad humanity in general is. Within the first few minutes of the show they make a joke about vaccination and the holocaust, because why have fun at all right? This show feels like the worst parts of adult animated comedy the parts that want to be edgy for the sake of being edgy and ultimately just feel needless and irritating.

Another major issue with this show is that it clearly hates Christmas, it takes every attempt it is given to tear down Christmas and those associated with it, do you like Santa Clause? Not anymore because he is part of the patriarchy. That is the essence of this show.

Finally in a move that shows just how out of touch actors are Sarah Silverman and Seth Rogen, both key voices in the show, have allegedly said that anyone who doesn’t like the show is a white supremacist, which makes zero sense. However, what it does do is make me less likely to check out Rogen’s work in the future.

Overall, making something to attack Christmas and that is edgy for edgy sake is never going to be good.

Pros.

None

Cons.

It is too long

It isn’t funny

None of the characters are likeable

The constant political points/preaching

Being edgy for the sake of being edgy

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A Castle For Christmas: Escaping To Scotland

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Famous author Sophie Brown, played by Brooke Shields, heads to Scotland to avoid an angry fan backlash. Whilst there she buys a castle and falls in love with its Duke.

I found this film to actually be quite enjoyable in a goofy Netflix Christmas movie sort of way. Yes, if I were Scottish I would be offended by this film, it really does not understand Scottish culture at all and sometimes feels like it is making it up as it goes along, however there is enough charm to get you to enjoy it anyway.

I found the characters of Sophie and The Duke, played by Cary Elwes, to both be fun and likeable. Yes, they both had the usual cliché misunderstandings and stereotypical moments but I still found myself caring about both of the characters and their relationship as a whole. I thought the ending was sweet and it made me smile, there are enough sweet moments here to make this film a fun Christmas watch.

Overall, a lot of sweet moments and a fun Netflix Christmas film.

Pros.

It is sweet

It is funny

Shields and Elwes are both good.

Cons.

The way it portrays Scottish culture

It uses a lot of cliches

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Off The Rails: Singing Song Lyrics Out Loud To Signify You Are Sad

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of friends get together after the death of one of their member and decide to go on a European trip.

Frankly there just isn’t anything new about this film, you have seen this film before and no the film doesn’t do anything new with it.

A bigger issue with this film is the fact that it is overly sentimental and that none of its emotion comes across and genuine or heartfelt. Rather it comes across as depressing. All of the emotional moments in this film feel cliched and predictable and as such have no impact. By the end of the film you are left feeling depressed and as though you might have wasted your time.

This film makes a big deal out of the fact that it heavily features the music of Blondie, even having the characters singing lyrics in supposedly sad moments for some reason, however even as a Blondie fan I didn’t find anything particularly impressive about this. Other than the very ham-fisted way I have already mentioned the catalogue of songs are not used for any real purpose.

Overall, though I like Sally Phillips, and she is a saving grace here, this film is simply depressing and played out.

Pros.

Phillips

It is short

Cons.

It is depressing

They waste Blondie

The emotion doesn’t land and feels fake

Judy Dench is forced in for no reason

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Walk Of Shame: Stop The Slut Shaming Hollywood

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A woman, played by Elizabeth Banks, almost misses out on the job interview of her life after a drunk night out, awaking in unfamiliar terrain.

What to say about this film that hasn’t already been said. I find it amusing that someone who is as outspokenly feminist as Elizabeth Banks, looks at how she handled the failure of Charlies Angels for more, appeared in this deeply sexist and troublesome film. It shows how someone’s opinions can change on a trend. Though maybe I am overly harsh on Banks.

This film is simply awful in many ways, namely the fact that it is not even remotely funny and is instead intent on just reusing stereotypes and quietly slut shaming its protagonist for laughs. Not a single one of the jokes land and worse yet a lot of them are off putting and leave you feel angry at whoever wrote them down, this film is crass and misogynistic in the extreme.

Ultimately I just feel like films with this kind of lazy old fashioned narrative just aren’t needed or wanted anymore, and everyone involved probably wants to forget it.

Overall, widely problematic and unfunny.

Pros.

It is short

Banks has a few chuckle worthy lines

Cons.

Rampantly sexist

It is not funny

Banks deserves better than this

The message of it is all wrong

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South Park Post Covid: The Future Is Bleak, Especially If You Are Apathetic To Covid

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The kids of South Park are now men forced to return to their home town after the death of one of their own, in a world still ravaged by covid.

Honestly I think the main reason for my low score is because I am personally I am really bored of covid and talking about it, seeing this whole hour special just go on and on about it became old quickly. I wish it could have been about anything else.

That said I do admire the show for lampooning the current crisis and laughing at how extremely over the top some people have been about it, acting like it is the end of days or something. I thought this coupled with the side plot about comedy in the era of cancel culture/ woke comedy were really interesting and insightful comments on where we are right now as a species.

I didn’t think this was the funniest thing I have ever seen from South Park as though there were a few jokes that landed, and landed well for that matter, for the most part they left me cold. I don’t know if it is because of my apathy towards hearing about covid but I didn’t find myself laughing a whole lot here.

Overall, if this hadn’t been about covid I probably would have found it funnier.

Pros.

A few good jokes

Not being afraid to laughable at how over the top some people have been with covid

Comments about woke comedy

Cons.

I am bored of covid narratives

It is not hugely funny

The central mystery is not all that interesting

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8 Bit Christmas: Do You Remember The Eighties:Of Course You Do

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A child, played by Winslow Fegley, must overcome a sea of obstacles to get a Nintendo games console for Christmas.

This film took eighties nostalgia, which is already quite a tapped out well, and went too far with it. Though I enjoyed the sentiment of the film and thought a lot of its messages were good, I thought the film leant far too heavily into eighties nostalgia and showed us all the things we have seen before, and all too recently at that.

I could never hate this film as it features Neil Patrick Harris in a leading role. Harris is as terrific as always and manages to get a number of good jokes here. I particularly enjoyed the film’s final scene which I thought really hammered home the emotional message of the film, I thought during this scene Harris did a magnificent job of selling the emotion of the scene and turning something that could have felt quite overly sentimental into just poignant enough to resonate.

The laughs were quite sparse for me, like I said Harris has a few funny lines but outside of that the film is quite lacking with most of the jokes not landing. I found a lot of the side characters to be quite annoying and the video game violence subplot to be not only annoying but deeply caricature like of everyone involved, it was silly to include if they had nothing meaningful to say on it.

Overall, a very meh Christmas film that manages to sneak past average thanks to Neil Patrick Harris and a powerful emotional ending.

Pros.

Harris

The ending

A few funny jokes

Cons.

Annoying side characters

Far too reliant on eighties nostalgia

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