I Want You Back: Charlie Day, The Rom-Com Lead You Didn’t Know You Needed

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Charlie Day and Jenny Slate play two recently dumped people who conspire together to get back together with their exes.

No one will ever say this film is original. It really isn’t. Yet it does manage to make you feel something with a plot you have seen hundreds of times before and surely that is something too. It takes a stale premise and makes it warm and sweet.

The warmth of the film is in large part down to the great chemistry between Day and Slate, both of them seem to be really trying and giving it their all and it works you buy into their relationship and want to see them together.

The film is also anchored by strong supporting turns from Gina Rodriguez, Scott Eastwood and Manny Jacinto, all of whom bring something to the film and enrich it in their own way. Eastwood in particular is probably the best I’ve seen him here and he should really do more films like this and less straight to DVD action films.

In terms of toxicity, refreshingly this is non-toxic and actually has quite a nice message, the leads lie and manipulate people for their own ends and then get punished for it, but in doing so eventually get over their exes and move on.

Overall, sweet, warming and nice. A good valentine’s day film.

Pros.

Slate

Day

The supporting cast

The emotion

Cons.

Pacing issues, mainly a slow start

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Bad Grandpa: Is This What We Have Been Reduced To?

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Not quite a Jackass movie, Johnny Knoxville and his entourage are back, this time trying to convince people that Knoxville is an old man who does random things.

This film is egregiously not funny, and not only is it not funny, but it then repeats the same jokes and set ups over and over again to well beyond the point of irritation. After you pass the point of irritation with this film you are left sitting there thinking to yourself why am I torturing myself by watching this, why don’t I value my own free time? These are questions better left unanswered.

The joke of course is that Knoxville is dressed up like an old man, but rather unlike an old man does stupid stunts or behaves reprehensibly in order to get a laugh from the audience who unlike those he is impacting know that it is a joke. More so that anything this film strikes me as incredibly desperate, it is sad to see the once funny Jackass crew be reduced to this.

Also all of the stunts are incredibly tame, it can’t even land the wince inducing angle anymore.

Overall, bland, not funny and desperate.

Pros,

It is short

I found the ‘shitbird’ line funny

Cons.

Mostly it is deeply unfunny

It repeats its jokes

It is tame

It is desperate

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MILF: Reclaiming Your Sexual Peak

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of mature women start affairs with younger men during summer vacation.

This film makes a very interesting point, many films feature narratives about an older man sleeping with a younger woman but few feature narratives about older women sleeping with younger men and this film aims to address that and normalise it. I think this is a positive in that it is a step towards gender equality within cinema.

Though I would class this film as a comedy-drama, it does try to do jokes however often these don’t land and for me the comedy is more miss than hit, although that might just be a result of my comedic sensibilities. Comedy is deeply subjective.

In terms of pacing the film starts out strong and delivers quite an entertaining first act, but after that it starts to struggle and the pacing gets worse. By the third act the film struggles to keep going, yet somehow also manages to overstay its welcome.

Overall, an important film that readdresses norms and that lands a few laughs, but also one that overstays its welcome.

Pros.

Readdressing narrative cliches

A few good jokes

A strong first act

Cons.

The third act drags

The sex scenes begin to feel needless, tasteless and repetitive over time

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The Love Guru: The Film That Killed Mike Myers’ Career

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A love guru, played by Mike Myers, is tasked with restoring a hockey team that has fallen on hard times due to personal issues.

This is the film that killed Mike Myers’ career, this is the film that potentially stopped us from ever having a Shrek 5, if that doesn’t make you hate this film I don’t know what will.

How Mike Myers and everyone else involved could ever have thought this film would be funny is beyond me. Not only is the lead a culturally appropriated stereotype, but every joke in the film is so deeply juvenile and crass you would be surprised that it wasn’t written by teenagers.

Worse yet this film really struggles with knowing when it is time to let a joke end, and repeats the same unfunny jokes over and over again hoping in vein that it might suddenly become funny, sadly no such luck, instead you are driven to the point of irritation.

Somewhat bafflingly Myers, who even in his worst films is still likeable, manages to be totally unlikeable here and often comes across as feeling smug whilst on-screen. I guess he was just so certain that this film was going to be a huge hit that he just got ahead of himself.

Overall, there exists a universe out there where this film never got made and we got a Shrek 5 instead.

Pros.

It’s at least short

Cons.

It’s not funny

It is repetitive

Myers isn’t likeable

The side characters are boring cliches

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Dirty Grandpa: A Whole New Side To Robert De Niro

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A man, played by Zac Efron, and his Grandfather, played by Robert De Niro, travel cross country together and get into some hijinks.

In many ways this is a bad film, however, for me at least it crosses over into so bad it is good territory. Many have condemned this film as racist, sexist and homophobic, and whilst all those things are valid and true there is also something perversely entertaining about watching an actor with such a storied career as De Niro humiliate himself like this, especially as it all seems in good fun.

Though the film often fails at its attempts to be funny through edgy joke after edgy joke there are some laughs to be had, this mainly happens when the film isn’t trying to be funny yet is unintentionally hilarious at the same time. Moreover, Aubrey Plaza is a comedic force in this film and steals almost every scene she is in. Though this isn’t Plaza’s funniest performance it certainly is up there, I thought she was by far and away the silver lining of this film.

Overall, something about this film just makes me laugh, and whilst I will never say it is a good film it is certainly so hilariously bad it is heading that way.

Pros.

De Niro doing his best Danny DeVito impersonation

Plaza

Unintentionally hilarious

Cons.

There are quite a number of troublesome moments

It has pacing issues and the second act drags

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Piranha 3DD: How Many Sex Jokes Does It Take To Be Funny? This Film Never Found Out

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A film about objectifying women and then watching evil fish rip them apart.

Just from looking at a poster you know that this film knows who it is playing to…. Horny people going to get their titillation at the cinema, as well as those of us whose guilty pleasure is schlocky B movie esque horror. Both of whom will be slightly let down by this film.

In many ways this film tries to be tongue in cheek with its vulgar voyeuristic side, but struggles often to make its creepy camera angles feel in any way like self-satire or parody. In this vein the film is awash with poor female representation, despite having a female lead in Danielle Panabaker, it’s female characters are mostly given stereotypical roles and are ranked in importance under how they look more so than anything else.

Panabaker’s involvement with this is disappointing as she has proven from her other roles that she is a really talented actor, so here it feels as though she is slumming it. Yes, maybe she just wanted the cash, but it still saddens me to see her brought low like this.

Overall, self-referencing your own perviness does not somehow make it less bad.

Pros.

Some B movie esque charm to be found if you look deep enough.

Cons.

The poor female representation

It does nothing to distinguish itself from its predecessor

Panabaker deserves better

It has pacing issues

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Bite Me: The Love Between A Vampire And Her Auditor

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A vampire, played by Naomi McDougall Jones, and her IRS auditor, played by Christian Coulson, fall in love.

Surprisingly, I thought this was both a good vampire film as well as a touching romantic comedy. Often horror romance films are difficult to land, Life After Beth, did a good job of it, but many others have tried and failed, this however, gets it right.

I really enjoyed the absurdity of the premise, a vampire who gets audited and then falls in love. The very idea makes me laugh. Moreover, I enjoyed the rom-com elements and thought that the two leads had great chemistry together and became more and more of a believable couple as the film progressed.

As far as it being a vampire film, it certainly fell more into the comedy horror sub-genre than anything more hardcore. There certainly is What We Do In The Shadows vibes here, and these are used to great effect for a number of good jokes and set ups.

Overall, a lovely, refreshingly original film.

Pros.

It is funny

It is sweet

I enjoy what they do with the vampire element

The leads have good chemistry

Cons.

Minor pacing issues

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The Hottie And The Nottie: Perhaps The Most Toxic Film Ever Made

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Paris Hilton can’t act as such she never gets any acting roles, and the only ones she can get are when she just has to play herself an entitled ego maniac that thinks everyone wants to date her. That is very true here yet the film also revolves around her friend, played by Christine Larkin, who can’t get a date because she is ugly. As a whole the film is a toxic mess.

The obvious reason why this film is terrible is because it encourages people to be shallow. Yes, the ending goes in a different direction and has the shallow character grow, but that is after we have spent a whole film laughing at these character for being ugly. It teaches bad values and praises looking a certain way above all else, which is fairly twisted and fosters self-hatred.

Moreover, Hilton is a terrible romantic lead though I won’t belabour the point as I think everyone is already aware at this point that she can’t act. Her character in this film is so utterly up herself that I can’t see why any one would ever want to be with her. Perhaps being one of the most unlikeable rom-com protagonists ever.

Overall, a film constructed out of two things nepotism and putting people down based on how they look.

Pros.

It borders on so bad it is funny at times

Cons.

Its values and message

The characters are loathsome

It has a horrible pace

Paris Hilton can’t act

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The Royal Treatment: This Is Why Your Subscriber Numbers Are Stagnating Netflix

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A prince, played by Mena Massoud, from yet another made up fictional place comes to America to meet his future bride, played by Chelsie Preston-Crayford, however, once there he meets sassy and street smart hairdresser Isabelle, played by Laura Marano, and he just can’t get enough of her entitled, obnoxious personality.

My, my how did Massoud go from Aladdin and the hights of super stardom to this? This film really isn’t worthy of him at all, and though he is the best thing in it and the only reason it has received half marks it makes me sad that this is the sort of role he is being offered.

Marano’s character fails so much as a romantic lead that she dooms the film. Now, this isn’t necessarily Marano’s fault, the writing certainly doesn’t do her any favours by giving her one of the worst personalities to come out of a Netflix film recently. She embodies American Exceptionalism and thinks that she can decide how to help the people of a foreign country better than their government, because she’s American and knows better?

Moreover, her relationship with Massoud’s prince character isn’t very healthy, she controls him and bends him to her will from the start of the film. In one of the first scenes the two share together on screen she tells him off for not sticking up for one of his servants after she gets told off by other staff for doing something wrong. Maybe he doesn’t like conflict, maybe he is worried him intervening will make things worse, no he’s bad because he isn’t constantly looking for opportunities to fight societal injustice and he needs a controlling woman to push him to do it. The more you think about it the worse it becomes.

Overall, yet another bad Netflix film.

Pros.

Massoud

A few good jokes

Cons.

Marano

The romance is troubled

The message of American Exceptionalism

The ending

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Home Team: Adam Sandler Is Even Bringing His Kids Into His Films Now, Will The Nepotism Ever End?

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Adam Sandler’s dependence star in a true story about a disgraced NFL coach, played by Kevin James, who ends up coaching his son’s peewee football team.

This sports film just rehashes cliches, honestly there isn’t much more to say; I could end the review there. To expand, the plot of this film is not just overly familiar it is almost plagiaristic. The beats and forced emotion it is going for, but crucially never achieves, have been done so much better before elsewhere.

Moreover, I get him and Sandler are pals but whoever thought James was a good leading man? Does Sandler? Is that why he gets cast in the lead role in so many of Happy Madison’s productions? To answer some of those questions for you, nepotism is the only way James can get these roles as his talent just isn’t there. Whether playing happy, sad or quizzical James comes across with all the emotional range of a shopping bag.

Overall, it is fine, technically there is nothing wrong with it, however, if you want more than deeply forgettable then you will be left cold and disappointed.

Pros.

It is watchable

Taylor Lautner returns

Cons.

James

It is boring

It is generic

The nepotism is blatant

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