Rosaline: Reducing Shakespeare To Make Bland Tasteless Garbage

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The untold story of Rosaline, played by Kaitlyn Dever, Romeo’s ex-girlfriend.

Yikes another group of old people trying to right how they think Gen Z talk. This film is deeply unfunny on multiple levels and more often than not crosses over into irritating territory, I didn’t laugh once whilst watching.

Moreover, the titular heroine of Rosaline was deeply unlikeable for most of the film and behaved like a brat who used people for her own ends. Not only did this make her detestable it also meant that she needed to be redeemed by the end of the film in a narrative sense, yet the film just thought that it could cram all of her apologies and soul searching into a 5 minute sequence then move on which makes the whole thing feel incredibly shallow.

In addition to those glaring issues the film also has Rosaline using men for sex and then just chucking them treating them more as bodies than as people, and whilst I acknowledge that there is a long cinematic tradition of male characters doing this, in modern times it is seen as wrong to do so. As such if Rosealine’s character was male and behaved the same way their would be an outcry against this film yet it is okay because she is a woman? Surely for things to be truly equal if anyone regardless of gender just uses a person for their body and doesn’t even treat them like a human being it deserves to be called out as wrong. To ply further scorn, the film also includes an incredibly reductive stereotypical gay best friend character, played by Spencer Stevenson, which feels like it belongs in a film from at least a decade ago.

Overall, a terrible film that no one will fondly remember.

Pros.

A nice central romance

Dever is trying her best

Cons.

The lead is awful throughout

It is unfunny

Some of its characters are reductive stereotypes

It has nothing to say and isn’t a clever play on Romeo and Juliet

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Cursed Friends: Finding A Razor Blade In Your Halloween Treats Would Be More Fun Than Watching This

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of friends find the predictions they made decades earlier coming eerily true.

So the opening few minutes of this film could be a cautionary tale all its own, bad effects work, worse jokes and immediately unlikeable characters. Yet what follows is so much worse, the direct next sequence is the gang as tweens walking around and talking about how much they want to ‘shag’ the boy dressed as Austin Powers. If that doesn’t tell you why this film sucks nothing ever will.

I have written quite a lot about the digital future and the pros of streaming, yet this film presents me with a very real case for how it is ruining the industry. Before pretty much every movie studio had a streaming service that they needed to plug with content things like this would get made far less and that was a good thing. However, with today’s need for content at all costs these sort of low effort, unfunny, trash pieces are becoming more and more frequent.

The thing that I think is the worst about this film is how try hard it is. Every joke tries to out edgy the last until honestly it just becomes boring because behind that edge there is no real bite just desperation. In my mind Jessica Lowe’s Erica was probably the worst in this regard, she was both unfunny and unlikeable and most of her jokes were written to be as outrageous as possible. However, Lowe is just one of a truly bad bunch, no one is good here and the fact that Will Arnett even agreed to be in this is nothing short of manically depressing.

Overall, probably the worst horror film this Halloween season.

Pros.

It is not offensively bad

Cons.

It is not funny

None of the characters are likeable

It is trying too hard to be edgy

Will Arnett needs to have some conversations with his agent

It is really just awful

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Bromates: This Film Makes The Hangover Look Oscar Worthy

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After two friends, played by Josh Brener and Lil Rel Howery, get dumped they must try and get on with their lives and get back on the horse, all with the help of each other and their wider group of friends.

So whilst this film had some funny jokes and strong performances from Howery and surprisingly from Snoop Dogg, it just isn’t enough to save it.

I think the worst part of this film is how cringey it is at times. There are multiple scenes where Brener’s character is just out and out humiliated, not in a funny way but in a sad way, and he just takes it and it is hard to watch. I suppose by the end of the film he has grown slightly as a person which I guess you could say is character development, but honestly those earlier scenes are hard not to fast forward through.

Moreover, I think this film is lacking anything new to say about male friendship. It has the same tiresome plot beats that we have seen dragged out over and over again for decades, it is so obvious where this film is going and it doesn’t even have the good grace to be funny to make up for it. There are one or two jokes that land, and they did make me laugh hard, but for the most part the jokes miss by miles.

Overall, watchable but Howery and Snoop Dog are wasted in this. To see a good Snoop Dogg film that features him well check out Day Shift on Netflix.

Pros.

Dogg

Howery

It is watchable

Cons.

It has nothing new to say about male friendship

It is the same old same old

It has some really horrible cringe

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She-Hulk: Whose Show Is This?

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

She-Hulk, played by Tatiana Maslany, breaks the fourth wall and in doing so ruins everything her own show has been building towards in the pinnacle of lazy writing.

Where to begin with this? I think the most egregious thing this episode does is have its first half be bad on purpose so that Jen can call it out and then break out of the show and go and talk to the writers, acknowledging your own poor writing doesn’t make it any better. Worse still, the choice to have Jen talk to the sentient A.I overlord K.E.V.I.N to fix everything is the ultimate Deus Ex Machina fake out which just throws away everything the season has been building towards in just a few moments.

Why does the episode do this? Well because in its bad headed own way the show thinks this is funny, it thinks by crapping all over other Marvel films and shows endings that they are in on the joke and that by having it all magically tie itself up that that is clever subversion. Marvel would do well to remember how well subversion by Rian Johnson in Star Wars was taken. Also to make this all so much worse the jokes don’t actually land at all and for the most part are back to the early season cringe wine mum jokes. If this show has taught me anything it is that writer Jessica Gao really wants to appear down with the kids when in her every attempt she translates this into being cringe, moreover her heavy handed political comments only make this cringe issue all the worse.

The ending of the episode has to bring back Hulk, played by Mark Ruffalo, and Daredevil, played by Charlie Cox to try and leave us on a positive note, but even here we are reminded that this show was only ever good when it was relying on cameos from other characters that people actually like.

Overall, boy oh boy Marvel screwed the pooch on this one.

Pros.

Jen’s line about the X-Men

Bring back Daredevil for a few brief scenes

Cons.

It is cringe

It throws out everything that the series has been setting up

The meta joke mostly don’t work

It feels gimmicky throughout

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The Blues Brothers: Singing For Their Supper, Which In This Case Is A Catholic Orphanage

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two blood brothers set out on a mission to save the Catholic orphanage in which they grew up. To do this they must put on a musical fundraising performance.

I have had this film on my watchlist for some time and now after seeing it I can see why so many people like it. Though I didn’t think this film was by any means perfect there was enough about it that I enjoyed to make my watching it worthwhile.

I think the film really nailed both the heart and the comedy of its story as it made me both feel and laugh, though I would say the humour was hit or miss and not all of the jokes landed. On top of that when watching this film one has to be in awe of all the musical talent on display as there are some real heavy hitters in this film.

My main issue with this film is that the narrative arc feels overly familiar, and yes whilst this came out a while ago so may have been fresh at the time I doubt it. In addition the film is frequently predictable and goes exactly as you would expect it to.

Overall, it is fun and worth a watch but also very familiar and predictable.

Pros.

It is very watchable

A few funny jokes

Belushi and Aykroyd

The musical talent

Cons.

It is overly familiar and predictable

It also has pacing issues

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Vengeance: Things Are Different In Texas

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ben, played by B.J Novak, heads to Texas to investigate the murder of his one night stand.

Honestly, I think this film has been a little overhyped. Some of the praise I had heard about this film being a ground-breaking first feature for Novak and that it really went to some interesting places seem to have been misplaced. I thought the mystery was okay, average at best, but certainly nothing to write home about in the way something like Knives Out was. The commentary on life and where we are all going is incredibly pedestrian and seems to think it has something new to say when in fact it is just the same old same old.

Sadly for Novak what makes his film good are the supporting performances that in no uncertain terms upstage his performance. Boyd Holbrook and Ashton Kutcher both deliver really strong performances that make this film what it is. Holbrook is incredibly warm and likeable and Kutcher makes for a villain that is both evil but also at times talking some sense.

Overall, fine if forgettable.

Pros.

Holbrook

Kutcher

It is very watchable

Cons.

It has nothing to say

The mystery is deeply average and nothing particularly new

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The Lost King: A Love For The Past

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The story of how one woman with a passion, played by Sally Hawkins, found a lost British King.

I think in many ways this film was very needed, it gave a voice to a story that is mostly unknown to a lot of people and where it is known it is known by the University of Leicester’s false narrative that they were behind the whole thing, which as this film proves they weren’t. In that respect this film gives us Phillipa Langley’s true story and that is important.

Moreover, the film really does go out of its way to make the academics of Leicester Uni into quite hateable villains, and whether in reality this was earned or not personally I don’t know enough to comment, however, here it nicely work to show Phillipa’s underdog struggle.

My main issue with the film is that it is widely depressing. I know that this film is based on real events and that the film is just trying to retell them sad, happy and everything in-between, but for the most part we are shown just how bad Phillipa’s life is and whilst that makes her incredibly easy to root for it also doesn’t make for pleasant viewing. Prepare to watch something happy after this one.

Overall, an important film, but also a depressing one.

Pros.

Giving a voice to the voiceless

A strong underdog story

Sally Hawkins and Steve Coogan are both really strong

Cons.

It is depressing

Pacing issues

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The Greatest Beer Run Ever: Friends Are Worth Risking It All For

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The true story of John ‘Chickie’ Donohue’s, here played by Zac Efron, efforts to support his friends fighting in Vietnam.

This film really wasn’t what I was expecting it to be, I thought based on the name and comedy work that Efron has put out that this film would be raunchy, dumb and more than a little gross out, but in actual fact it is actually quite emotionally engaging and complex. Whilst it is hard to call this film a comedy as it isn’t funny, it is a film with a surprisingly big heart.

I thought Efron was on great form here, this film gave him a number of ample opportunities to flex his dramatic muscles and he pulls this off nicely, conveying the horrors going on around him and the anguish he feels for all to see. In that vein I think this film really does show us the undercurrent of the Vietnam war and doesn’t hold back in its brutality.

Russell Crowe and Bill Murray make supporting turns here to varying degrees of success. Crowe is a very welcome presence and plays off of Efron well when on screen together whereas Murray is seemingly pigeonholed into the old timer who thinks things should go back to how they were in his day. Though it is always nice to see Murray pop up on screen, here he is very much not utilised.

Overall, a surprisingly sweet film.

Pros.

Efron

The message

Showing the horrors of the war

Crowe

Cons.

It wastes Bill Murray

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Out Of Office: A Real Work Family

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Eliza, played by Milana Vayntrub, quickly comes to realise that the key to her new job is keeping her boss’s marriage alive, no easy task.

Whilst I didn’t think this film was a laugh out loud hit a minute I did think there was enough charm and heart to make it well worth watching. I mainly watched this film as I am a big fan of Ken Jeong, who plays Vayntrub’s characters boss, and he certainly is the main selling point of the film, he manages to be both quite funny whilst also being vulnerable and emotionally layered. Vayntrub is a capable lead and brings a lot of warmth to the role, you quickly warm to her character and feel some kinship towards her, I would have liked it if the film had taken more time to fully explore her character.

My main criticism of the film would be that it was too breezy. Though the film is very watchable and mostly entertaining you will be hard pressed to note anything that happens in it because nothing really does it is just a series of characters having chats and then that’s it. They try and develop out some character arcs but it most cases these feel underdeveloped it wouldn’t be so bad if it was the start of a TV series or multi movie arc, but as it is it feels shallow at best.

Overall, very watchable but also quite forgettable.

Pros.

It is very watchable

A few good jokes

Jeong and Vayntrub

Cons.

It feels too breezy

More character development is needed

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Dumbbells: Anyone Can Be A Reality Star

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A former basketball star, played by Brian Drolet, now working at a gym has to face change when said gym is turned into the setting for a reality show.

This is an entirely new cut of Dumbbells which is apparently reimagined, I have not seen the first film though, so this was my first time viewing it in any form.

I thought for the most part the comedy worked, Eric Andre is always funny and the rest of the cast do try to give him a run for his money to mixed results. I would say the comedy of this film is more hit than miss, I often found myself laughing which is a good sign.

Though I found the film more broadly as a whole quite easy to relate to, I would say that the lead character is in no way the same. I would argue it was more a scripting issue, but Drolet’s lead never really comes across as someone audiences can warm to or even like, the character feels very vapid and irritating and this hurts his journey as by the end you are just happy that you don’t have to spend anymore time with the character.

Overall, for the most part I enjoyed my time with this film.

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