Click And Collect: Would You Steal From A Sick Kid?

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Steven Merchant and Asim Chaudhry must go on a cross country road trip in order to get Merchant characters’ daughter a toy for Christmas.

I thought this film was honestly just pretty average, it had a few laughs but at the end of the day it wasn’t anything I hadn’t seen before. It was an odd couple pairing that initially grate on one another and then eventually become friends, like I say nothing new.

Merchant plays it a little too straight and almost becomes unlikeable for big parts of the film, I understand being neurotic but that doesn’t make you a dick. Chaudhry on the other hand has a much better showing and is the heart and soul of the film, you really do end up caring for him by the end.

The comedy is fairly missing. I would say I chuckled maybe once or twice during the runtime of the film and that was probably about it. It’s not funny really, however it is watchable.

Overall, fairly average.

Pros.

Chaudhry

It is watchable

The ending

Cons.

Merchant

The odd couple pairing feels played out

It wastes Sophia Di Martino

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Office Christmas Party: A Room Full Of Regret

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The wacky goings on at an office Christmas Party.

My, my. How could they get a cast together with this many comedic actors and produce such a dud?

This film reeks to me of a corporate comedy. One made by a focus group at the behest of a room full of executives trying to guess at what people find funny, as such it is both overly tame and weak whilst also trying to force in edginess that doesn’t naturally lend itself to the film at all.

As you might assume this doesn’t lead to the film being funny at all. Most of the cast are wasted, or are used in ways that don’t produce any laughs, a good example of this would be Kate McKinnon who is just doing her usual shtick but this time has turned it up even higher. I would say Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston are serviceable but nothing more than that and that rather surprisingly Olivia Munn actually ends up being the comedic standout of the film and the only one who had any funny lines.

The film also features T.J Miller before the sexual abuse allegations came out, and he is just awful here. His jokes range from creepy to irritating and I think we can all agree that it is a good thing his face won’t be darkening our collective door anymore.

Overall, a weak, tame and factory produced comedy.

Pros.

Munn

Bateman and Aniston are trying to keep it together

Cons.

It is overstuffed

It isn’t funny

T.J Miller

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Boxing Day: Maybe Skip A Family Christmas

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Melvin, played by Aml Ameen, brings his girlfriend, played by Aja Naomi King, home to face the family. A whirlwind ensues.

This film really wasn’t for me. It was unfunny to the point of annoyance and seemed to stretch on and on without any sign of it ending. I don’t think this film had me laugh once throughout.

Moreover, the wider cast were also poorly served, as the film reaches to give them depth but fails and instead just leaves us with a group of characters who are shallow, forgettable and ultimately unlikeable. Worse than all of that a lot of these characters are just written as cliches and tropes that we have all seen hundreds of times before.

Therein lies the big problem with this film for me, it is incredibly been there and done that. From the off you can see where everything is going and rather than try and surprise you the film instead just plays out in an incredibly predictable way with all the generic holiday rom-com plot beats being hit as if the screen writers are trying to tick boxes on a list.

Overall, this film did little for me besides waste my time

Pros.

The ending dance number

I liked the mother stepfather romance

Cons.

It isn’t funny

It has pacing issues

A lot of the side characters are annoying

It relies heavily on cliches and stereotypes

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Santa Inc: Father Christmas Is A Patriarchal White Supremacist

0/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young elf, voiced by Sarah Silverman, dreams of becoming the new Santa Clause and whilst doing it preaches on every hot button political topic and takes a big dump all over Christmas itself.

This show highlights everything wrong with modern day Hollywood to the letter. It is not funny, it makes constant political statements in an attempt to be funny or topical but fails at both, none of the characters are likeable and each is more annoying than the last, and finally it preaches and in that I take my biggest issue.

Don’t be like me, don’t sit through eight hours of being preached to and told how bad you are and how bad humanity in general is. Within the first few minutes of the show they make a joke about vaccination and the holocaust, because why have fun at all right? This show feels like the worst parts of adult animated comedy the parts that want to be edgy for the sake of being edgy and ultimately just feel needless and irritating.

Another major issue with this show is that it clearly hates Christmas, it takes every attempt it is given to tear down Christmas and those associated with it, do you like Santa Clause? Not anymore because he is part of the patriarchy. That is the essence of this show.

Finally in a move that shows just how out of touch actors are Sarah Silverman and Seth Rogen, both key voices in the show, have allegedly said that anyone who doesn’t like the show is a white supremacist, which makes zero sense. However, what it does do is make me less likely to check out Rogen’s work in the future.

Overall, making something to attack Christmas and that is edgy for edgy sake is never going to be good.

Pros.

None

Cons.

It is too long

It isn’t funny

None of the characters are likeable

The constant political points/preaching

Being edgy for the sake of being edgy

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Silent Night: Perhaps The Worst Christmas Film Ever Made

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of people spend one final Christmas together before they are killed supposedly killed by a poisonous gas in the morning.

Where to start with why I didn’t like this film? I suppose the most glaring issue with it was the fact that it preaches absolute faith in what the Government preaches and punishes the characters that dare to think contrary to that. I have read some reviews of the film that say that the message is the exact opposite to how I have taken it and that the point is a critique on mass panics/ mass obedience but I think if that were the case the film needed to do more to show that people were silly to take the pills,

Another wide issue with this film is its preaching. In many ways this can be viewed as an eco-horror as the gas that is coming to kill everyone is of course a result of man’s treatment of the planet. Frankly this rather obvious explanation felt irritating from the beginning, as we get it the planet is hurting but that doesn’t mean it needs to be stuffed into every piece of media as an easy plot point. I would have preferred it if the gas had been sent by some other foreign power.

Moreover, there is an argument to be made that this film is in bad taste. It tries to be a dark comedy horror film, but abandons any semblance of comedy early on and instead tries to become a horror drama film. The bad taste elements come in with regard to the pandemic that we are all living through, there are a number of things here that parallel where we are right now and these elements come across in bad taste at least to me.

Finally, this might be one of the most depressing films you will ever see, there is nothing fun or even really watchable about it and it is so unpleasant that simply finishing it feels like a herculean effort.

Overall, the only reason this film didn’t get lower is because Keira Knightly, Sope Dirisu and Lily-Rose Depp are all trying enough to give the film a few redeemable moments.

Pros.

Knightly, Dirisu and Depp are all trying their best

Cons.

The rest of the cast are not very good, especially Roman Griffin Davis who embodies everything wrong with child actors

It is deeply depressing

It has troubled and flawed morals

The preaching

A Castle For Christmas: Escaping To Scotland

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Famous author Sophie Brown, played by Brooke Shields, heads to Scotland to avoid an angry fan backlash. Whilst there she buys a castle and falls in love with its Duke.

I found this film to actually be quite enjoyable in a goofy Netflix Christmas movie sort of way. Yes, if I were Scottish I would be offended by this film, it really does not understand Scottish culture at all and sometimes feels like it is making it up as it goes along, however there is enough charm to get you to enjoy it anyway.

I found the characters of Sophie and The Duke, played by Cary Elwes, to both be fun and likeable. Yes, they both had the usual cliché misunderstandings and stereotypical moments but I still found myself caring about both of the characters and their relationship as a whole. I thought the ending was sweet and it made me smile, there are enough sweet moments here to make this film a fun Christmas watch.

Overall, a lot of sweet moments and a fun Netflix Christmas film.

Pros.

It is sweet

It is funny

Shields and Elwes are both good.

Cons.

The way it portrays Scottish culture

It uses a lot of cliches

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The Spirit Of Christmas: Ghost Sex For Twelve Nights A Year

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Kate, played by Jen Lilley, is a workaholic who is tasked with prepping an inn for sale during the holidays, little does she know it is haunted.

There is some charm here let it not be said there isn’t, however, the cliches and the laughably dumb plot really hold it back.

So yes the lead falls in love with the ghost, played by Thomas Beaudoin, that is the plot of the film, but wait is he even a ghost? The film says yes but then he becomes human for twelve days a year or something because he is cursed… None of it makes sense.

Moreover, though the film wants us to celebrate the love between the lead and the ghost we really shouldn’t be, the ghost has or rather had a wife which the film is totally fine with him abandoning for his new girlfriend. The morals are all over the place and it gives the film and iffy taste to it that takes away from some of the charm.

Despite all of this this film is charming and the romance does feel genuine and warm which allows the film to have something good to cling to.

Overall, a subpar Christmas rom-com with a plot that makes no sense and a charming romance that is overshadowed by troublesome morals.

Pros.

The leads are both serviceable

The romance feels genuine

Cons

Troublesome morals

A silly plot

Pacing issues

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Robin Robin: Whilst You Sleep At Night Mice Steal Your Food

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young robin called Robin, voiced by Bronte Carmichael, is taken in by a family of mice, but must then find out who she is after she realises she doesn’t make for a very good mouse.

My track record with Aardman Animation is mixed, I liked Wallace and Gromit and thought Early Man was okay, but I really didn’t like Chicken Run. So when it came to watching this I was mixed, however I have to say this is easily the best Aardman feature to date and if this is any indication for what they are going to produce through their collaboration with Netflix then I am very on board for what is to come.

I thought the film was sweet and really sold its message of being yourself and being proud of who you are well. I enjoyed all the characters and thought each had their moments to shine over the features run time. I thought the pace was well decided as well, as by keeping it short it allowed the film to have a real momentum that lead to it be constantly engaging and never boring.

Finally, there is a musical element to this film which could be hit or miss for people, for me I thought it worked and I enjoyed almost all of the songs, bar the final proper one during the third act, but for the most part I thought the songs added to the film’s charm.

Overall, a lovely little animated Christmas film.

Pros.

It is sweet

It is well paced

It has fun characters

The songs work well

Cons.

The third act could use work as it is a little played out

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8 Bit Christmas: Do You Remember The Eighties:Of Course You Do

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A child, played by Winslow Fegley, must overcome a sea of obstacles to get a Nintendo games console for Christmas.

This film took eighties nostalgia, which is already quite a tapped out well, and went too far with it. Though I enjoyed the sentiment of the film and thought a lot of its messages were good, I thought the film leant far too heavily into eighties nostalgia and showed us all the things we have seen before, and all too recently at that.

I could never hate this film as it features Neil Patrick Harris in a leading role. Harris is as terrific as always and manages to get a number of good jokes here. I particularly enjoyed the film’s final scene which I thought really hammered home the emotional message of the film, I thought during this scene Harris did a magnificent job of selling the emotion of the scene and turning something that could have felt quite overly sentimental into just poignant enough to resonate.

The laughs were quite sparse for me, like I said Harris has a few funny lines but outside of that the film is quite lacking with most of the jokes not landing. I found a lot of the side characters to be quite annoying and the video game violence subplot to be not only annoying but deeply caricature like of everyone involved, it was silly to include if they had nothing meaningful to say on it.

Overall, a very meh Christmas film that manages to sneak past average thanks to Neil Patrick Harris and a powerful emotional ending.

Pros.

Harris

The ending

A few funny jokes

Cons.

Annoying side characters

Far too reliant on eighties nostalgia

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The Princess Switch 3: Vanessa Hudgens Is A TALENT

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Vanessa Hudgens is back switching places with people who look exactly like her again, this time it is because an expensive Christ ornament is stolen.

I unironically like these films, yes I know many think they are trashy and they certainly won’t win any awards for their plot or their characters any time soon, but there is just something so happy and fun about them that I will watch them every year as soon as they come out.

Hudgens does a good job of playing three separate characters and giving each their own moments and character traits so they can feel different and important narratively. I think this film is a little Fiona heavy, she was the character introduced in the last film and is the bad cousin, however I am not complaining really as Fiona is probably the most fun out of the three. It is clear that Hudgens is having a lot of fun here and it is very infectious.

The silliness of the plot and the surely known cheapness only serves to make the film more endearing and likeable as you can’t help but laugh at how dumb it all is. Certainly this isn’t one that you need to pay attention to and can just space out whilst watching, but again that not a bad thing here.

Overall, the film is a lot of fun and if like me you enjoyed the previous Switches then you will most likely like this one too.

Pros.

Hudgens

The dumb fun

The feel good ending

How needlessly over the top it is

Cons.

Hudgens other two characters, who aren’t Fiona, could have done with a bit more

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