Christmas With You: A Sleazey Christmas Message

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A famous singer, played by Andi Garcia, decides to spend Christmas with a fan, played by Deja Monique Cruz, whose TikTok video she likes, and whilst she is there she also decides to hook up with the fan’s dad, played by Freddie Prinze Jr.

Honestly, I just thought this was fairly boring, it wasn’t so bad it was good nor was it redeemable or even enjoyable in any way. As I approached the two thirds mark I was checking to see how long was left which highlights how much of a slog this film is to get through, it is really just aggressively average.

The worst thing about this film is just how little chemistry the two leads have, there is a moment in the final few minutes of the film where they have their big first kiss of the film and it couldn’t be more cold if they were trying for it.

Moreover, there is inherently something a bit icky about a star coming to spent time with her teen fan and then hooking up with her dad and becoming her new stepmother. I don’t know it struck a weird and not wanted chord with me.

Overall, a deeply meh Christmas film that you can easily give a miss.

Pros.

It is watchable

It does have some unintentional humour

It is nice to see Freddie Prinze Jr back on screens again

Cons.

It is boring and a slog to watch

The premise is a bit icky

The leads have no chemistry at all

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Falling For Christmas: Lohan Is Back

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A hotel heiress, played by Lindsey Lohan, has her life turned upside down when she get short term amnesia and is nursed back to health at a ski lodge.

It is nice to see Lohan back, after being away for so long and dealing with so much, she definitely is the life and soul of this film making for a great female lead who is easy to warm to and whose evolution over the course of the film you can both feel and see on screen.

However, even she and her pretty good chemistry with her co-star Chord Overstreet, aren’t enough to save this film from all the hallmarks and cliches of these so bad there good Christmas films. Everything feels very formulaic and happens exactly as you would expect it when you would expect it to, there is no shock and nothing deviates from the trite script. This does takeaway from any potential stakes that the film might have as ultimately you know where this film is going at all times.

Another mark against this film comes from how long it spends talking about all the influencer stuff at the start of the film, it reads like a ninety year old talking about how the youth of today are and it is cringe as hell. Honestly the influencer character of Tad, played by George Young, makes the whole opening ten minutes of this film borderline unwatchable.

Overall, Lohan tries her best but the formulaic nature of this film holds it back.

Pros.

Lohan

The chemistry

Quite a few sweet moments

Cons.

Tad and all the influencer stuff

It is incredibly generic and formulaic

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House Of The Dragon: The Black Queen

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

War finally breaks out.

Sorry readers that summary is in some ways misleading, as you see therein lies my big issue with this finale. The whole season has set up this big war between the Blacks and the Greens, but do we get to see any of it? No, we don’t. In essence this whole episode is just yet more set up and filler.

I suppose you could claim the dragon battle counted as some action, but frankly after all the slow talking scenes and set up I was expecting far more action in the finale. I thought Rhaenyra’s order of no fighting until she gives the word was basically the writers way of saying let’s leave it all to next season as it allows for the episode to drag out the threat and prospect of war without actually delivering much of anything.

There are still some good scenes, including the dragon fight, as don’t get me wrong this isn’t a bad episode it is just sorely disappointing.

Overall, yet more teasing.

Pros.

Matt Smith’s performance

Showing the childbirth scene and pushing that boundary on screen

The dragon fight and what it sets up for the next season

Cons.

It is disappointing

The season long build up doesn’t lead to much of anything

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50/50: Laughter In The Face Of Tough Questions

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Adam Lerner, played by Joseph Gordan Levitt, finds out he has cancer and that his odds aren’t good.

I thought this film was one of the most genuine and touching that I have watched in a while. It made me cry at several points as I think the beauty of the film really is quite powerful to behold, not only does the film deal with heavy themes but it does so through a lens of optimism and to a degree happiness. I found this to be a really lovely film in many ways.

In terms of performances Levitt proves once again just how great he is here, his character goes on a real journey and in the end when his character is finally free of cancer it is a real fist in the air sort of moment. The film earns that. Seth Rogen is also unusually good here in a more paired down dramatic role, though some of his usual schtick does come through here and there. I think Rogen can be a really charming and talented dramatic actor given the right roles.

The comedy drama mix of the film is fairly mixed, I would say it leans more towards the latter than the former although there are a few funny moments here and there that actually did make me laugh.

Overall, a strong film that everyone should see.

Pros.

It is funny

It is sweet

It takes you on an incredibly nuanced ride

It isn’t afraid to ask and tackle tough questions and topics

Levitt

Cons.

A few minor pacing issues

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House Of The Dragon: The Green Council

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Viserys, played by Paddy Considine, finally dies and sides are formed across the nation.

I enjoyed this episode for the most part, it really does feel like we are getting close to the action and to the start of the war, with the opening shot of it maybe being fired in the final moments of the episode.

I liked all the scheming and backstabbing and thought that a lot of things that had been set up earlier in the season really came into their own and made the episode work. In many ways this episode does all that a penultimate episode of a series should it sets the stage for the finale.

Something that I was less keen on in the episode was its efforts to humanise Alicent, played by Olivia Cooke, who by this point is turning into one of the major villains of the show. Now I am not saying there is anything wrong with a nuanced and layered villain but sometimes you just want to see them be evil.

Overall a good set up episode for the finale.

Pros.

The ending

The set up

Bringing in elements from across the season

The excitement to come

Cons.

The show needs to just let Alicent be a villain

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The Holiday Calendar

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A psychic advent calendar helps a young woman, played by Kat Graham, to see her future.

I will admit this film’s premise has some goofy appeal, a psychic advent calendar at least feels fresh, I haven’t seen one of them in a Christmas film before, however this freshness is quickly undone as the calendar is merely used as a means to an end to enter into the usual holiday rom-com cliches.

Indeed it seems I hoped for too much with this film as it quickly becomes generic. All of the rom-com cliches and tropes are dusted off and forced out on stage for good measure, the love triangle feels incredibly obvious in where it is leading and there are no stakes at all in the whole thing as we all know how it is going to end.

The acting is all fairly sub-par and for Graham who I know can act because she was okay on The Vampire Diaries this is clearly her slumming it for an easy paycheck.

Overall, even the whacky premise can’t save this film from becoming a bag of cliches and tropes.

Pros.

The goofy premise

It is watchable

Cons.

The pacing

It is generic

It is nothing you haven’t already seen before

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Andor: One Way Out

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Cassian, played by Diego Luna, finally busts out of prison.

The three episode structure of this show is really becoming quite trite, it was pretty clear before this episode even started that Cassian would be getting out of prison this episode as it was time for this mini arc to end. The show really needs to start mixing things up.

However, that gripe aside this was an incredibly strong episode and probably one of the best segments of Star Wars media in a long time. I think the power of this episode came almost exclusively from Andy Serkis’ Kino as he becomes a rebel leader and gives one hell of a speech, it is a shame where the episode leaves him and hopefully he comes back at some point, but I think that in terms of looking at the early Rebellion his whole character and what he symbolises is incredibly important.

Moreover, the final sequence with Luthen, played by Stellan Skarsgard, is also incredibly interesting as it gives us the biggest peak behind the curtain yet, and also highlights the twisted morals with which he operates furthering the thesis of this show that nothing is morally black and white.

Overall, a very strong episode only let down by the repetitive three episode structure ruining any form of surprise.

Pros.

Skarsgard

Serkis

The ending

The moral ambiguity

Cons.

The three episode structure really ruins the surprise

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Black Panther Wakanda Forever: The King Is Dead And The Seat Is Empty

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Wakanda copes with the death of its King.

In many senses this is a depressing film, it doesn’t just address the real world passing of Black Panther star Chadwick Boseman this film lives it and throughout the film Boseman’s death is never too far away, we are given many reminders of it.

However, I did enjoy for the most part that this film has a serious tone, too many of Marvel’s Phase 4 projects have really leant hard on the humour and it has hurt them. This for the most part plays everything very seriously and that is good and helps the film to feel impactful and maintain stakes. Although, an issue to this is the inclusion of Riri Williams, played by Dominque Thorne, who for the most part is annoying and forces in a lot of corny jokes where they just aren’t needed. Moreover, Williams is never specifically said to be the Iron Man replacement of the MCU but it feels like she is being pushed that way, and boy does she feel like a off brand version of the character.

I really liked that this film finally introduced Namor, played by Tenoch Huerta Mejia, into the MCU I think he is easily the best thing about this film and certainly is a scene stealer. A lot of the underwater scenes with him and his people are really cool and interesting and for the most part the effects hold. However, the CGI does prove to be glaringly bad on a few occasions which is quite poor when you think about how much money was pumped into this film.

The cast for the most part are a mixed bag Danai Gurira and Angela Basset give stirring performances and are very deserving of praise, but Winston Duke is mostly passed over and ignored and Letitia Wright is noticeably bad and clearly finds it hard to emote as throughout Shuri’s ride in this film her face barely changes scene to scene be it happy, angry or sad. Another thing that bugged me about Shuri in this film is that all of a sudden she can fight and it makes no sense, she becomes Black Panther and then whoops Namor despite being tactical support in the last film and for the early parts of this one. Where did this sudden training come from? It would have taken one line to have tied this off and not have it be an issue, but no, to me it reeks of the writers thinking that the audiences are too dumb to pick up on it. Another dumb plot whole is why does Wakanda not just tell the world about Namor and his people and how they are responsible for all the attacks rather than taking the blame themselves? It makes no sense and the film does not address it.

Overall, slightly worse than the first film but it does introduce Namor to the MCU so that’s pretty cool.

Pros.

Namor

The mature tone

The ending

Cons.

Riri is annoying and breaks a lot of the tension with dumb jokes

Wright can’t act and Shuri develops all these fighting skills out of nowhere

The poor CGI and plot holes

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Living: Make The Most Out Of Every Second

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An office worker, played by Bill Nighy, discovers he only has a few months to live and sets out to live his life to the fullest during his remaining days.

I will preface this review by saying that this is not an easy film to watch on multiple levels, it is both depressing and also at times extremely cringey, especially when the overly formal period characters can’t express themselves at all, but that is all part of it and part of what makes this film so good.

This film truly feels like a British film, by that I mean if it were an American film especially one made by a Hollywood studio then it would have been overly sentimental and sickly sweet, this wasn’t that. The things left unsaid because the character physically couldn’t say them and the bittersweet enjoyment to the man’s final months feels raw and authentic and in that the film presents us with real truth. In that regard I found the ending of the film particularly powerful.

The performances across the board were strong but of course both Bill Nighy and Aimee Lou Wood deserve to be singled out for extra praise. Nighy conveys a lot whilst saying very little and really puts his character through an emotional ringer over the course of the film. Whilst Wood manages a real warmth and plays of Nighy well, they make for a strong on-screen pair.

Overall, not an easy watch, but an enriching one.

Pros.

Nighy

Wood

The emotional nuance

The ending

Cons.

Pacing issues

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We Wish You A Married Christmas: Cute Alpacas To The Rescue

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A married couple check in to a B and B over the Christmas period in order to try and fix their marriage.

Really the main selling point for me of this film is the Alpacas, I really like Llamas and Alpacas and seeing one on the poster for this film is what made me want to check it out. For the most part the Alpacas aren’t really featured but when they are it is the best moments of the film.

Really everything else about this film is deeply generic and makes the film hard to watch. It is a slog to get through and the central couple have no chemistry at all and instead feel throughout the film, even in the end when they are supposed to be happy with each other again, as though they hate each other.

The pacing is also really incredibly bad, and the film feels like it is on for double or even triple its runtime.

Overall, some cute Alpacas aren’t enough to keep you watching throughout this film, as boring as it gets for bad Christmas films.

Pros.

The Alpacas

It is unintentionally funny

Cons.

It is tedious to sit through

It is deeply generic

The romantic leads have no chemistry at all

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