Star Wars The Rise Of Skywalker: This Is Going To Be A Long One

Star War The Rise Of Skywalker is an epic science fiction film directed by JJ Abrams. The plot ends the Skywalker saga that has been set up by the previous films and sees the final showdown between the light side of the force and the dark side.

Where to begin with this film? Is it terrible? No. Is it in any way good? No as well. There are so many things to unpack with this film, this might be a long one.

So firstly, the opening fight scene where Kylo Ren (Adam Driver), is slicing through rebels with ease and it looks awful. The choreography of this scene is clearly supposed to make Ren look scary and powerful; however it was somewhere around the moon walk stab that I laughed out loud; it does not open the film on a good note.

Secondly, when the final order is raised, it does not look impressive rather it looks cheap and it looks as thought they had skipped out on getting good visual effects. This is recurring through the film; this is not a one-off issue.

Thirdly, the humour there is something really particularly bad about the humour. Now, I am not saying every film needs to be direly serious, but it would have been better here than what we got. This film even more so then The Last Jedi is trying and failing to replicate the MCU. We have a deadly serious scene with franchise spanning implications and then before any of the emotional impact can register bam we get a quippy joke, it is irritating.

Before I get to my final issues with this film I just want to talk about a few things this film got right.

I enjoyed some of the new characters this film set up, even if they were severely underdeveloped, I would like to see some of them come back in future films/ Disney Plus series, there is potential there.

Personally, I thought the only moment of this film that actually worked was the final battle and even then all the stuff about Rey’s (Daisy Riddley), origins ruined it a bit. The final desperate fight in this film was the only thing that actually felt like Star Wars to me, having the Rebels effectively facing extinction and then just when all seemed lost help arrived- this was a cheer worthy moment, the only one of the film.

Now my two major issues with the film. Nearly all of the interesting characters from the previous films were blatantly ignored or reduced in favourite of focusing on Rey and Kylo Ren, and whilst I can understand that both of them are popular characters it just feels like a huge missed opportunity, poor writing and a slap in the face. Moreover, the reveal of Rey taking the Skywalker name at the end of the film did not make me cheer, it did not elicit any kind of positive emotion in me rather it made me cringe… and that was how the film ended, on a cringe.

Overall, this film single handed dealt more damage to the Star Wars brand than anything else in it’s history, at least The Last Jedi had guts.

Pros.

The one cheer worthy moment

A few cool new characters

Cons.

Doing nothing with most of the characters

The cheapness and the cringe

The bad and poorly done fight scenes

The eye rolling moments

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Psycho Goreman: Children Are Brats

Psycho Goreman is a science fiction horror film directed by Steven Kostanski. The plot sees two small children unwittingly reawaken an ancient evil. However, lucky for them they also find the gem that controls said ancient evil, which means they know have a world ending new toy.

I’m mixed on this one, for what it is worth before we get into it I don’t think you should watch the trailer before you see this film as it is misleading, and makes the film look like something it is not. Firstly, this is not a horror film it could be called a horror comedy but would be more likely fit under the science fiction comedy heading and there is no real horror in the film.

I enjoyed the campy pulpiness of this film and thought it definitely had a lot of B movie charm to it. I thought the humour also worked, at least to my tastes, as I often laughed at how off the wall and downright odd a lot of the jokes were.

The emotional plot beats and the bond between the kids is nice to see develop, they do put a lot into character work here and it does pay off as the final transformations feel earned and satisfying. The child acting was ok, they were annoying at time as child actors often are, but I have to say I have seen worse in other films.

My main issue with this film is the lack of action, I understand it is a comedy film more so than anything so we are not going to get these big intense battles, but a little more action would have been nice. We get these teases across the film of PG’s (Matthew Ninaber) past which elude to huge battles, but then cut away right before things get interesting which I found to be disappointing.

Overall if you are looking for a niche comedy you will enjoy this film if you are looking for horror or action look elsewhere.

Pros.

The B movie charm

The humour

The ending

Cons.

The child acting wasn’t good

The lack of action

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Gemini Man: Technology So Good It Takes You Out Of The Film And Makes You Ask For A Refund

Gemini Man is an action film directed by Ang Lee. The plot sees best mercenary in the world Henry Brogan (Will Smith), go up against a younger version of himself, for reasons.

So, lets get a few things out of the way. Firstly, the writing is a mess (one of the guys who wrote Game Of Thrones wrote this, so I am not surprised), things just kind of happen and there is no real reason for it. Does it make logical sense to create an army of young Henry’s who are all inevitably going to rebel against their creator Clay Verris (Clive Owen), no it does not and that’s only the beginning of it. To think too hard about this film gives you a headache from the stupidity. Secondly, the visuals which were the big thing about this film are not all that impressive, they are fine that is about as far as I would go.

However, the de-aged CGI Will Smith does not look as horrible as I was expecting, yes the appearance is initially jarring and a bit too uncanny valley, but you get used to it over the course of the film until by the end it doesn’t really bother you anymore.

This film is made bearable by the charisma and charm of Will Smith in full on dad mode. Much like The Rock, Smith just has something about him that makes all of this films better (when he is trying), it is this special something, this spark that makes this film watchable and fun to a dumb degree.

Moreover, Mary Elizabeth Winstead is in this film continuing her action hero trajectory and plays Smith’s side kick/ back up. I enjoyed seeing Winstead she always makes her roles memorable and I thought she brought a great physicality to the role: she easily held her own in the fight scenes and was a believable action hero. I thought she also had a great partner chemistry with Will Smith and the journey their characters go on together feels genuine.

Also very quick side note, Benedict Wong only has a minor role in this film, but he is awesome and steals every scene he is in. He is a magnificent performer in anything.

Overall, though it makes no sense and the gimmick tech adds nothing, there is still a lot of dumb fun to be had here and Smith and Elizabeth-Winstead stop it from being all bad.

Pros.

Wong

Smith

Elizabeth- Winstead

It is dumb fun

Cons.

The tech gimmicks don’t work and maybe even backfire

It is dumb and poorly written

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Outside The Wire: Captain America Has Changed

Outside The Wire is a science fiction action film directed by Mikael Hafstorm. The plot imagines a future were the Russia Ukraine crisis has spilled out and become an international war being fought by both human and machine soldiers. We follows drone pilot Harp (Damson Idris), as he is sent into this theater of war to help Captain Leo (Anthony Mackie), stop nuclear weapons from falling into the hands of terrorists.

All of these futuristic action films are starting to feel the same in my mind and I am finding it hard to tell them apart. There is nothing unique or particularly new or interesting here to sink your teeth into most of what we see is just recycling ideas from other works.

The plot as a whole is very eh, again it has been done better before. Furthermore, the twist (that I am not going to spoil as it is a fairly recent film, is obvious and predicatable and is utterly underwhelming they could have done so much more with it, but they settle for mediocrity.

The only pro I will say for this film is that the interplay between Mackie and Idris is on strong form. The two have a great rapport and the banter between the two of them is easily the highlight of the film; it made me smile several times.

Overall yet more bland, generic science fiction that even genre die hard will struggle to like.

Pros.

Mackie and Idris

Cons.

It is generic

The twist isn’t good

It is poorly paced

It is dull

1.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Storage 24: Then There Were Aliens

Storage 24 is a British science fiction horror film directed by Johannes Roberts. The plot sees recently single Charlie (Noel Clarke),as he goes to the storage unit he used to share with his ex-girlfriend Shelly (Antonia Campbell-Hughes) to collect his belonging. Whilst these not only is there an awkward reunion between the ex-lovers, but there is also an alien hunting them down.

When someone says cheap British horror this is the first film that comes into my head, and I don’t mean that in a good way. It looks awful and having one setting is not inherently a bad thing but when you do nothing with it and you make it become repetitive then it is.

The only pro I have for this film is the creature design looks good. It is not until late into the film that we get a good look at the creature, but when we do it is impressive to behold, it looks like a cross between the creature from the black lagoon and an elder god.

The acting is very average, the actors are good, (at least Noel Clarke and Laura Haddock are), but here they are given nothing to do, they are just going through the motions, none of them convincing, for about an hour and a half before a ridiculous ending.

Overall, this is so generic it is almost painful.

Pros.

The creature the design

The ending is so bad it is almost laughably good

Cons.

The performances aren’t good or convincing

The setting is repetitive and underused

The premise is dumb and ridiculous

It is predictable

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Doomsday: North Of The Wall Is An Angry Scotsman

Doomsday is a science fiction action film directed by Neil Marshall. The plot imagines a future United Kingdom that has been ravaged by a deadly virus, as a result of this Scotland (the disease’s epicenter) has been sealed off to the rest of the world and left for dead.

Ignoring how close to our own reality some parts of this film are, this was quite a fun time. I enjoyed the Mad Max aesthetic and thought that the world itself was begging to be explored further, I was left wanting to know more about what happened during the films time jump.

I thought it was nice to see a bad ass female action hero in the lead, Eden Sinclair (Rhona Mitra), is very much in the same vein as other early 2000s feminist icons like Selene (Kate Beckinsale), from the Underworld films and Alice (Mila Jovovich), from the Resident Evil films. Eden has a great on- screen presence boosted by great physicality in the performance from Mitra, she is a very believable action hero. However, her character doesn’t have much in the way of a personality which I find to be my only real issue with the real.

The ending is edgy enough to feel satisfactory and leaves the door open for a sequel, should we want to return.

Overall, a fun time if a little troubling due to our current circumstance.

Pros.

Mitra

The premise

The world and the world building

Malcolm McDowell is always a welcome presence

Cons.

Eden might be cool, but she has no personality

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Doom: The Rock As You Have Never Seen Him Before

Doom is a science fiction action film directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak, serving as a live action adaptation of the classic video game series of the same name. The plot sees a group of soldiers sent on a rescue mission to mars, however once they arrive they are forced to do battle with genetically engineered monsters.

So, this film is used as the poster child for bad video game to film adaptations, however, after watching it I can see a rough sort of charm to it and I don’t think this film is as bad as it has been made out to be by any means. I remember watching this film when I was young, my parents put it on one Halloween night, and before rewatching it for this review that was my only exposure to the film.

I easily think the best sequence in the film is the first person shoot out rampage towards the end of the film. Not only does it look somewhat like the games, which is nice as a point of homage, but also it is just cool to see first person action Hardcore Henry proved my point without a shadow of a doubt and it remains the case here.

Moreover, the performances from Karl Urban, The Rock and Rosamund Pike are all quite good, will any of them win awards for their roles? No they won’t. Though they are good enough to get you lost in the world of the film and its characters.

Overall, maybe I have a soft spot for this film because I am a fan of the games, but I do think that it is a lot of dumb fun and action movie cheese which makes it enjoyable. It is the best video game adaptation no it is not, but it is a good time.

Pros.

The first-person sequence

The acting though not great is good for a video game movie

The world

The creatures themselves

Cons.

None of it made sense

The effects are laughably bad

It is not really related to the games in anyway

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Possessor: A Very Different 2008 To The One I Remember

Possessor is a science fiction horror film directed by Brandon Cronenberg. The plot imagines a different 2008 wherein people have the technology to project their consciousness into your brain through and implant thereby taking over control of your body and forcing it to abide by their will. This technology is often used by high profile assassins.

This film felt like a feature length Black Mirror episode and I am not saying that as an inherent criticism, rather a note on the tone and generally aesthetic.

I will give this film props for its visuals and its concept, both were deeply unnerving in both a very real way and also in more of an existential way. The premise of the film itself is so deeply fascinating that you can’t help but think about it once the film has ended. There are sights within this film that you will not see anywhere else within the genre, such is its creativity: one of these shots is the opening when they are putting in one of the implants and it is visceral and sickening and honestly quite frightening when considering the implications.

The performances were all very strong, and I enjoyed the notion of how much of your own actions are really you if you are facing off against someone else’s consciousness. A lot of the things in this film are deep and wider reaching then your standard horror themes, and as such this might not be for everyone.

My one point of criticism would be the end. I disliked how messy and rushed it felt, it seems very much that the film is going a certain way throughout and then bang you just get a whole bunch of stuff thrown at you in the final few minutes and you are left to pick up the pieces and make sense of it. I truly do believe if this film was given even just another 15 minutes it would have fixed the ending.

Overall, very strong and very unique, a bleak look at a potential future where not even our own minds are safe from attack.

Pros.

The performances

The visuals

The concept and the execution

The horror and the existentialism

Cons.

The ending is a mess

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Into The Storm: Man Vs. Tornado

Into The Storm is a disaster film directed by Steven Quail. The film recounts the devasting effects of a tornado on a small town in America, thriller seekers, researcher and horny teens all get caught up in its destructive wake.

In many ways the disaster move genre is very like the shark attack sub-genre in horror, you know what you are getting, they all play out pretty much the same barring a few details, and they are all as predictable as hell: in short they are junk food, you know they aren’t enriching in any way yet you still watch them as they’re easy.

My issue with this film compared to others in the genre like The Day After Tomorrow or 2012, is that a tornado is fairly simplistic. There is spectacle to it sure, but it gets old after about half and hour and has nothing new to pull out of the bag. There is only so many times you can watch a car get sucked into a hurricane.

The acting is what would expect nothing spectacular, just a bunch of b and c listers trying their best to be serviceable and for the most part they do a decent enough job. I would say the cast could have done with being smaller, as at times it felt like there were too many people on screen and as such I couldn’t remember who everyone was let alone form emotional attachments to them.

Overall, if you like disaster movies this is passable enough, if you want something above average or god forbid fresh then yeah maybe give this one a miss.

Pros.

It is watchable

The tornado is neat for the first 20 minutes

Cons.

It is nothing special

You have seen all of this film before several times over

The effects don’t look good

It is boring after a point

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Midnight Sky: Stick To Acting George, Oh Wait

The Midnight Sky is a science fiction drama film directed by George Clooney based on the novel Good Morning Midnight by Lily Brooks-Dalton. The film revolves around a lone scientist (George Clooney), who together with a little girl must venture into the artic circle to deliver a warning to a deep space mission.

This film was a slog to get through. Of the positive comments and reviews I have seen most praise the score and the visuals, and yes whilst there are some nice artic shots and vistas that is not enough to make up for the paper-thin characters or the lack of anything original from the story.

When I began this film I had moderate to high expectations, however, as it went on I kept comparing it to other ambitious science fiction films like Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar or last year’s Ad Astra as a result of these comparisons I saw how much this film was trying to be like them but failing hard along the way.

Even if you only watch a few minutes of this film you will see that it clearly has a high opinion of itself: by that I mean it thinks it is far deeper and far more intellectual with its themes then it actually is. What it actually seems to be is a pale imitation of better science fiction films, whereas of itself this film seems to think it is competing for Oscars.

Overall, the two words I would use to describe this film are boring and smug.

Pros.

It has some nice visuals

Cons.

The characters are so thin you can see right through them

The story feels done better before

There is an ever-present air of smugness

It is far too drawn out and badly paced

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke