A Castle For Christmas: Escaping To Scotland

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Famous author Sophie Brown, played by Brooke Shields, heads to Scotland to avoid an angry fan backlash. Whilst there she buys a castle and falls in love with its Duke.

I found this film to actually be quite enjoyable in a goofy Netflix Christmas movie sort of way. Yes, if I were Scottish I would be offended by this film, it really does not understand Scottish culture at all and sometimes feels like it is making it up as it goes along, however there is enough charm to get you to enjoy it anyway.

I found the characters of Sophie and The Duke, played by Cary Elwes, to both be fun and likeable. Yes, they both had the usual cliché misunderstandings and stereotypical moments but I still found myself caring about both of the characters and their relationship as a whole. I thought the ending was sweet and it made me smile, there are enough sweet moments here to make this film a fun Christmas watch.

Overall, a lot of sweet moments and a fun Netflix Christmas film.

Pros.

It is sweet

It is funny

Shields and Elwes are both good.

Cons.

The way it portrays Scottish culture

It uses a lot of cliches

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The Spirit Of Christmas: Ghost Sex For Twelve Nights A Year

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Kate, played by Jen Lilley, is a workaholic who is tasked with prepping an inn for sale during the holidays, little does she know it is haunted.

There is some charm here let it not be said there isn’t, however, the cliches and the laughably dumb plot really hold it back.

So yes the lead falls in love with the ghost, played by Thomas Beaudoin, that is the plot of the film, but wait is he even a ghost? The film says yes but then he becomes human for twelve days a year or something because he is cursed… None of it makes sense.

Moreover, though the film wants us to celebrate the love between the lead and the ghost we really shouldn’t be, the ghost has or rather had a wife which the film is totally fine with him abandoning for his new girlfriend. The morals are all over the place and it gives the film and iffy taste to it that takes away from some of the charm.

Despite all of this this film is charming and the romance does feel genuine and warm which allows the film to have something good to cling to.

Overall, a subpar Christmas rom-com with a plot that makes no sense and a charming romance that is overshadowed by troublesome morals.

Pros.

The leads are both serviceable

The romance feels genuine

Cons

Troublesome morals

A silly plot

Pacing issues

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The Princess Switch 3: Vanessa Hudgens Is A TALENT

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Vanessa Hudgens is back switching places with people who look exactly like her again, this time it is because an expensive Christ ornament is stolen.

I unironically like these films, yes I know many think they are trashy and they certainly won’t win any awards for their plot or their characters any time soon, but there is just something so happy and fun about them that I will watch them every year as soon as they come out.

Hudgens does a good job of playing three separate characters and giving each their own moments and character traits so they can feel different and important narratively. I think this film is a little Fiona heavy, she was the character introduced in the last film and is the bad cousin, however I am not complaining really as Fiona is probably the most fun out of the three. It is clear that Hudgens is having a lot of fun here and it is very infectious.

The silliness of the plot and the surely known cheapness only serves to make the film more endearing and likeable as you can’t help but laugh at how dumb it all is. Certainly this isn’t one that you need to pay attention to and can just space out whilst watching, but again that not a bad thing here.

Overall, the film is a lot of fun and if like me you enjoyed the previous Switches then you will most likely like this one too.

Pros.

Hudgens

The dumb fun

The feel good ending

How needlessly over the top it is

Cons.

Hudgens other two characters, who aren’t Fiona, could have done with a bit more

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10 Things I Hate About You: Getting Paid To Date, The Solution To An Aging Population

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A modern remix of Shakespeare’s The Taming Of The Shrew.

Honestly upon watching this for the first time I don’t see what so many people like about it, it just seems like a fairly generic teen movie about the perils of dating and the horrors of high school. Couple this with a wealth of outdated views and yes, I didn’t see what the big deal was about.

I thought the film had some heart, not all the time, but in parts it did come through sweetly. I found myself enjoying the relationship between Julia Stiles’ character and Heath Ledger’s, those were the only characters that I found myself rooting for and if anything this film just served to remind me how much I miss Ledger. Both Ledger and Stiles do their best to elevate the source material, and give this film some kind of personality outside of Shakespeare. However, the over-reliance on cliches and thoroughly predictable dramas drag this film back down again.

Overall, I didn’t see the appeal of this one it reminded me of just another teenage high school movie. Yes, it had heart in some places but it also had multitudes of cliches and more than its fair share of iffy moments. A mixed bag.

Pros.

Hedger

A few sweet moments

Cons.

The Shakespearian dialogue really felt out of place

It had pacing issues

It felt deeply generic

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Love Hard: Make Better Films Netflix It Is Getting Embarrassing

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young woman, Nina Dobrev falls in love online only to later realise she has been catfished, the catfisher promises to set her and this guy up if she pretends to be his girlfriend during the holidays.

When I saw from the makers of Holidate I knew this was going to be bad, much like the previously mentioned film this again has a bad message and iffy morals. By making Jimmy O. Lang’s catfishing character in any way redeemable this film almost feels like it is saying his behaviour is okay, it is not just in case you were wondering. I wish romantic comedies would stop pushing these icky narratives and toxic messages it’s time to move on, catfishing someone is not a valid or acceptable way to try and get a relationship.

Moreover, every line in this film is cringe. By that I mean the film thinks it is so cool and trendy in a lot of the things it says, sometimes directly towards the audience, but it is not. Best case it is saying supposed insightful points that other films have spouted before or at worst it feels like an out of touch executive trying to be down with the kids and failing horribly.

Overall, this is why people think Netflix films are usually trash because they put out far too much content like this.

Pros.

Nina Dobrev is trying

Cons.

The writing is stilted

It is horribly cringe

The romance feels forced

The premise is deeply flawed

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Christmas Inheritance: The Big City Will Turn You Evil

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Highflying CEO to be Ellen, Eliza Taylor, must go and deliver a letter to her uncle in small town America in order to complete her training and take over from her father. Naturally going to this town forces her to see how morally corrupt big city life is and how she has had the wrong priorities all her life.

And so we begin, it is quickly becoming the time of the year where I review Christmas films- the good, the bad and the overly moralistic. This film is somewhere between those latter two, as it preaches the values of ‘real America’, and suggests that modern big city living is evil and causes people to lose touch with their humanity. This is nothing new from these type of Christmas films, and this plot has been recycled over and over again.

The romance here, as they always have to have the big city woman ditch her current boyfriend and find love in the small town, is poorly done. The trope as a whole is not helpful, and here it is particularly unbelievable as the characters have no chemistry so their whirlwind romance feels blatantly fake.

The only reason this film isn’t getting lower is because of Eliza Taylor. Taylor is clearly trying her best to give this role some personality and warmth and that shows, sadly what she is given to work with boxes her in and leaves her with nothing to work with. However, she still manages to be charming.

Overall, yet another samey, questionable Christmas film. Is small town America really this magical, or is this over romanticised in the extreme? Let me know.

Pros.

Eliza Taylor

Cons.

It is the same story you have seen before

The morals

It feels sexist

The central romance doesn’t work

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I’m Your Man: A Human Robot Love Affair Is The Next Stage Of Human Evolution

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Scientist Alma, Maren Eggert, is tasked with completing a three week trial with a humanoid robot, played by Dan Stevens, who is designed to be the man of her dreams. When the three weeks are up she is to write either in favour, or not, of giving these robotic beings rights based on her experiences.

I enjoyed this film quite a lot. I thought it had such a huge heart that it was almost impossible not to like it. The film tries to further the questions of what does it mean to be human and can love transcend all bounds, in this case can a human woman love a robot man, is the robot man even capable of feeling love? I feel it does an admiral job of this and gives us a response to these questions that is deep and multi-layered, the response the question deserves.

I also found this film to be quite funny, there was a lot of humour situated around how Steven’s robot character responded to Alma’s initial rejection and also his day to day life, which is odd by human standards. Most of this humour landed for me and made me chuckle, it was not a laugh out loud sort of film, but there were plenty of chuckle worthy moments.

Overall, a sweet film that has a lot to say about life, love and robotics.

Pros.

Eggert

Stevens

The sweet love story

Trying to answer the big questions

A number of funny moments

Cons.

The beginning is initially confusing as the film doesn’t do a good job explaining early on what is happening.

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Four Weddings And A Funeral: The Funeral Would Be More Fun Than This Charmless Affair

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The film revolves around Charles, Hugh Grant, and his circle of friends as they navigate love and life during a number of social occasions.

This one might be an upset, however this film did nothing for me.

Though I like the other Grant films from this era there was just something about this that didn’t quite work for me. I found the central romance to be clunky and not make a whole lot of sense narratively: having Grant’s character end up with his friend, who clearly has a crush on him, played by Kristen Scott Thomas would have made much more sense and yet they didn’t go with it.

Moreover, unlike Notting Hill I did not find any of the characters particularly likeable or charming. As the film progressed if anything I found myself becoming more and more uninterested in the characters and I cared less about what was happening to them as a result. Likewise the humour here also missed the mark for me, maybe making me laugh once or twice throughout but for the most part it left me cold.

Overall, though for many this is a classic it did nothing for me.

Pros.

Grant

One or two funny jokes

It is watchable

Cons.

The characters aren’t likeable

It is boring

The central romance is flawed

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Reminiscence: This Is Why Westworld Isn’t Good Anymore

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Nick, Hugh Jackman, analyses his memories of the one who got away, Rebecca Ferguson, and realises that he has been played. Nick then sets out to track her down to get answers.

My this one was bad.

Before I slate it I’ll say this, Ferguson and Jackman have great chemistry together, really its electric, and they need to make more films together and carry this thing on as their seems to be a real passion there between the two, they play off each other really well.

Ok, moving on to the bad.

This is what happens when you have everyone praise your deep intellectual show, Westworld, for years and you have a brother who is known by some as one of the best working filmmakers in the game, and you try to rip-off his style. To be blunt, you make pretentious tosh that is about as deep as a puddle and is laughably bad.

The narration throughout the film is the best example of this, it asks all these deep philosophical questions about humanity and the self with all the intellectual sincerity of a teenager going through an emo phase. The writing is really bad.

The mystery is passably okay, however the longer it goes on for you realise all the ways it doesn’t make any sense and how the memory tech writes the film into a corner. Almost everything Nick does in this film is superfluous by the rules and laws set up by the tech, he didn’t need to do anything, yes he would have lost the memory card, but would that really have changed much?

Overall, bad science fiction.

Pros.

Jackman

Ferguson

Cons.

It makes no sense

It is so utterly pretentious

It is poorly written

The ending

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Annette: The Strangest Musical You Will Ever Watch

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The film charts the life of a stand up comedian, Adam Driver, and an opera singer, Marion Cotillard, after the birth of their first child.

I will say this for the film, I take my hat off to it for committing to being strange, quirky and unique.

Personally, this film wasn’t to my taste. Though I enjoy Sparks I thought the music in this film was a bit overdone. I understand that the film views itself as a rock opera type musical, and that really isn’t my problem with it, my problem is that nearly every line is sung. This reaches such a point where you just want it to stop, and then the film just keeps going.

This film is on for far, far too long.

Moreover, though I admire the quirky elements of the film I find some of them to be clashing, and sometimes off-putting. Maybe it is my sensibilities, but there were certain more interpretive scenes where I had no idea what was going on or how it fit into the story in any real way, yes they were singing about how it fit in no doubt, but by that point my mind had found a way to drown out the singing.

The performances were all fine, though I would say they didn’t feel like real people or characters rather they felt like some sort of twisted, warped idea of what humans are like as viewed by aliens. However, I am sure that was a deliberate choice.

Overall, it was not to my taste.

Pros.

I enjoyed the strangeness

You have got to love Sparks

Cons.

Too much singing, that often isn’t very good

Some of the elements clash

The characters didn’t feel like real people

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