The Nightmare Before Christmas: Nightmare Indeed!

‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’ is a stop-motion animated musical dark fantasy film, the plot follows The Pumpkin King himself Jack Skellington as he grows tired of his role as King and yearns for something different; then after a trip to Christmas town decides that he wants to spread joy rather than chills and, scares.

‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’ is a film I remember being enamoured with when I was a kid, however, revisiting it ten years later I found it was not in any way how I remembered it; very much in a bad way. Yes in this review I will be saying why I don’t like ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’, which to some is Christmas heresy.

Before I get to that though I want to talk about the stop-motion animation, which is of course wonderfully unique and, very nice to see; as there really aren’t many films like this anymore. The character models, however, are off-putting, I understand that is the point to some extent, but other than Jack, (Chris Sarandon) and, Sally, (Catherine O’ Hara) I found a lot of the other characters very hard to look at for long periods.

Despite not being directed by Tim Burton this is very much one of his films, the style and, the characters are all very much the same if you have ever seen something like Beetlejuice or, for an animated example the Corpse Bride then you know what you’re getting. After watching this film and, thinking back to Burton’s other works I have come away with the conclusion that as a filmmaker he is very hit or miss you either love his style or, you hate it.

The other thing I strongly dislike about this film is the constant singing, yes I know it’s a musical, it seems like every 5 seconds they are bursting into song. I like the odd musical here and there, they are not my genre for sure, but where I think something like Frozen, which is also a musical, gets right is that it uses its songs sparingly which makes them memorable. Whereas ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’ seems to operate by a policy of how many songs can I fit into the runtime of this film.

The songs themselves are all fine, with a few standouts amongst them, but I found many of the songs went on for too long and, negatively affected the pacing of the film, sometimes making me want to turn the film off as a result as I was quickly losing interest.

Ultimately this film did not live up to how I remembered it from my childhood, I found the characters off-putting, the constant singing annoying and, though there was some Burton charm to be found it was well hidden. I like the Corpse Bride more.

1.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Krampus: Wait that’s not Santa Claus

‘Krampus’ is a dark fantasy horror comedy film based on the infamous character from Bavarian and, Germanic folklore. The plot follows a family at Christmas that have lost the real meaning of the season and, when Max, (Emjay Anthony), says ‘he hates Christmas and his family’ and, tears up his letter to Santa Claus; they evoke Krampus’ wrath.

This film is from Micheal Dougherty the director behind Trick or, Treat, as such it features creative creatures and, monster; some of which are incredibly original while others are rather familiar to the horror genre. Krampus himself is menacing straddling the line between monstrous and campy at times; his look isn’t 100 per cent accurate to how he is depicted in most of the folklore surrounding him, but he is still scary despite this.

The scares are all pretty good, however ‘Krampus’ does lean on the humour over the scares a lot of the time; this is most definitely more of a comedy film than a horror. The issue with this is that the humour of the film is all pretty weak, it makes you smile a few times, but there are no laugh out loud moments; some of the jokes are even painful.

The acting is on the better side of average, most of the actors are serviceable if not memorable; these include our leading boy Emjay Antony. Adam Scott of Park and Recreation fame in this film as Max’s father Tom, he has some good moments and, a few strong jokes, the only ones of the film, however, he isn’t given much to do and, it feels like a waste of his considerable talents.

Toni Collette is also in this film this is before her game-changing role in Hereditary and, she gives a decent performance not a scene-stealer, but she does a good job with what she has to work with. Allison Tolman of Fargo fame is also in this, but just like everyone else in the cast doesn’t blow you away with her performance.

It is nice to see ‘Krampus’ remind people that Christmas can be scary, it carries the torch on from things like Gremlins, check out my review, and Black Christmas. These films will always serve as a reminder that horror does have a place at Christmas, also this scary bent helps these films stick out from all the other happy, mushy, Christmas fluff.

Overall this film isn’t my favourite Christmas horror film, but it is nice to see some variety in Christmas films that make it out and, despite the fact it doesn’t change the game it has some genuinely good scares and, is wonderfully unique. Check ‘Krampus’ out if you don’t like traditional Christmas films and, have a desire for something new.

4/5 simply for originality

Reviewed by Luke

Gremlins 2: Gizmo Is Back For Blood, First Blood.

‘Gremlins 2: The New Batch’ is a horror-comedy film and, follow up to the 1984 Gremlins film. The story continues the journey of Gizmo, (Howie Mandel), who this time gets wet and, multiplies inside a skyscraper in New York City; can you guess who works in the same skyscraper?

That’s right it’s Billy, (Zach Galligan), the main character from the first film, he is now working in a soul-crushing job at the Clamp Centre, dreaming of being able to draw the things he wants to. Gizmo is captured and, brought to the Clamp centre following the death of his owner Mr Wing, (Keye Luke), meeting back up with Billy in the process.

‘The New Batch’ seems to believe strongly in the concept of more is better, the wackiness of the original film is turned up to 100, with the evil gremlins this time around getting superpowers, as they’re effectively the result of genetic experimentation. These superpowers include the ability to talk and, for one very memorable character wings. The effects of the flight sequence are horrific and, really stand out when compared to today however, it really helps to add to the campy charm of the film.

The campy charm is another thing that this sequel greatly plays up, there are multiple meta jokes and, jabs at other films which serve this purpose. ‘The New Batch’ almost plays like a charming B movie in many ways, this is one of the things I really like about the sequel. Tony Randall as the Brain Gremlin is inspired, he is constantly hilarious and, every moment he is on the screen is a treat; the best lines of the film are all his.

To go back to this idea of meta-commentary this time around Gizmo has seen Rambo and, he uses these skills once again to save Billy; also seeing Gizmo in a little red headband is something I never knew I needed. Gizmo is just as charming and, endearing this time around and, there are real moments of peril for Gizmo wherein you’re genuinely scared for him.

My only real criticism for this film is that in terms of filmmaking and, narrative things aren’t as tight this time around, they feel messy to an extent: as though the creatives and director Joe Dante were just throwing ideas at the wall and seeing what sticks; which to an extent they were as this film had far less time in production than the previous film.

Overall, despite being a little rushed this is still more of the same fantastic gremlins action. This is a gloriously campy, B movie esque, horror-comedy and is definitely worth the watch. It will make you smile and, it will solidify Gizmo as one of cinemas all-time best, and most adorable icons.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Gremlins: Gizmo The Christmas Icon

‘Gremlins’ is a horror comedy film, written by Chris Columbus and, directed by Joe Dante, two legends of the 1980’s film industry. The plot follows Billy, (Zach Gilligan), a young man who gets a Christmas present of his father, a little furry creature called Gizmo. Gizmo is a gremlin a mystical creature that comes with a very specific set of rules, don’t expose it to sunlight, don’t get it wet and, finally and most importantly don’t feed it after midnight. Obviously, all these rules are broken throughout the course of the film, leading to the creation of new gremlins, who unlike Gizmo aren’t cute and cuddly, rather menacing and evil.

Many people have a soft spot in their hearts for ‘Gremlins’ and, many view it as a Christmas classic. This down to, in no small part, Gizmo himself, not only is he memorable but, he is also cute and, endearing and, whenever there is a moment where things look bad for him you almost say out loud, “No not Gizmo”, or maybe that’s just me. What the puppetry team accomplished with him is outstanding and, the choice to give him a voice, (Howie Mandel), is inspired, as it really helps to sell the emotion of the character.

Steven Spielberg’s fingerprints are all over this film and, it shows; it perfectly toes the line between goofy Christmas film and actually good horror. The horror elements are surprisingly strong with the design of the evil gremlins being really quite scary and, unpleasant. Also, there is a lot of fantastic gore in the film, mainly during a scene when Billy’s mum, (Frances Lee McCain), kills three of the evil gremlins, putting one in the microwave and, one in a blender. At the time it came out this level of gore in what was extensively a children’s film, was shocking. This combined with the release of Spielberg’s Temple of Doom lead to the creation of the R rating in America.

‘Gremlins’ is dripping in 80’s goodness it does feel very of that era however, that is not to say that it doesn’t age well; ‘ Gremlins’ is just as perfect now as it was then. The relationship between Billy and Gizmo is a thing of beauty and, the scene in the final act where Gizmo drives a little toy car to save Billy is the most heartwarming, life-affirming thing you might see all year. This film is guaranteed to make you smile.

One last thing to mention is that the final shot of this film, the original owner of Gizmo walking away with him, is one of the most beautifully shot and, most iconic shots not just in horror films but, in cinema in general.

‘Gremlins’ is one of those films that everyone should see at least once, I can promise you it is worthy of your time, and that it will make you smile.

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

3 From Hell: Third Times The Charm.

3 From Hell, is a horror film directed by Rob Zombie; serving as the 3rd instalment in the Firefly Saga, carrying on from the Devils Rejects and House of 1000 Corpses.
The film takes place several years after the ending of Devils Rejects, with Otis, (Bill Moseley), Baby, (Sheri Moon Zombie) and Captain Spaulding, (Sid Haig), on death row. The Firefly family has become something in the wider pop culture of Zombie’s universe, and are revered by some as folk heroes; or, at least wrongly convicted. The meat of the film takes place when Otis is broken out of prison by his half brother the Midnight Wolfman, (Richard Brake), and the two try and find a way to break Baby out so the three of them can carry on their murder spree.

Before we get into this review, I want to say that I feel like people judge Zombies films without even seeing them when people hear it’s a Rob Zombie film, they needlessly prejudge it; most of the time deciding they’re not going to like it. I for one believe that yes Zombies’ filmography is an acquired taste but, if you can get past that you soon realise that there is no other film quite like a Rob Zombie film. Much like his horror contemporary Eli Roth it is impossible to not be aware that you’re watching one of his films.

I believe every gory, blood-soaked moment of 3 From Hell proves this in spades, there is something so pulpy and, grungy about Zombies films; insanity is not only full embraced but, celebrated. These characters evil and, monstrous as they’re, become almost anti-heroes at times and, you find yourself rooting for them; or at least I did.

It was nice to see all of the characters back on screen, and each had a memorable scene or, line; such as during the final showdown when Baby hunts down gunmen with a bow and arrow. There is a part of me that hopes that Zombie decides to leave these characters here and not try to carry on this series as I feel they’re left in a nice, ambiguous place, with the audience left to question what comes next.

The new characters are also a lot of fun with Jeff Daniel Phillips’ Warden being a fun moustache-twirling villain for the film’s first act. Phillips is both zany and insane while also being memorable; this is probably his best turn in a Zombie film to date.

Overall if you like Zombies’ films and, you like the Firefly saga, then you will like this. It is a nice final chapter for the series and, sends the killers off into the unknown at the end; leaving it all down to your imagination. I hope this ends the series as I don’t see where it can go from here, but this is Zombie’s finest film to date so if he has more like this I’m game.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Satanic Panic: The Devil, Demons and Devilishly Good Pizza

Satanic Panic is a horror comedy film, following Sam Craft, (Hayley Griffith), a pizza girl, who makes a call to the wrong house and quickly finds herself the target of a satanic cult- due to her being a virgin.

Satanic Panic has vibes of pulpy grind-house horror, think Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses, which is a delight to see as those sort of films are few and far between these days. Couple that with the fact that the film features a lot of horror references and homages to many horror classics, and you get a film that is going to scream, “Watch Me”, to any genre hardcore.

However, if you’re looking for a scare, you might want to look elsewhere as Satanic Panic is definitely more of a comedy than a horror; the last 15 minutes asides. Said final 15 minutes which features demons battling it out is not only cool but, also the film’s scariest section.

The comedy of the film mostly lands, making me smile multiple times as I was watching it. Although, somewhat surprisingly, where the film most shines is in its attempts to be dramatic. This comes when we hear Sam’s backstory and learn she is a cancer survivor, and that she abandoned her friend/ lover on the cancer ward. This scene is surprisingly powerful, far more so than I was expecting from a horror comedy film; the emotional weight of this scene hits you hard and fast taking you by surprise and knocking you off your feet.

The mythology of the film and how it approaches demons and devil worship is also novel and fresh; especially towards the ends when it focuses on the hierarchy of Hell. As a result the film almost demands a sequel so we can see more of this world and these characters.

The characters are also fantastic, Hayley Griffith plays Sam perfectly encapsulating her spirit and, to an extent her innocence. She makes for a solid lead and, one who is easy to root for. Likewise, Rebbeca Romijn’s Danica Ross is superbly evil, relishing every moment she is on screen; either with a fantastic quip or, a memorable scene. Romijn proves here why she is one of the best actresses working today. Though the breakout star of the film and, the one for me who gave by far the best performance is Ruby Modine. Modine plays Judy Ross, Danica’s daughter who is left for dead and, saved by Sam. Judy is capable but, also incredibly damaged and, the friendship she forms with Sam is incredibly endearing; watching her fight the forces of night is something I never knew I needed until now.

If you’re looking for a film that is going to scare you or, creep you out this isn’t it. However, if you’re a diehard fan of the horror genre and, like films that pack heart, laughs and, about 10 minutes of scares then this is for you! One of the most smile-inducing films I’ve seen all year.

4/5
Reviewed by Luke

The Gallows Act II: The Franchise Slips the Noose.

The Gallows Act II is a Blumhouse Horror film and a sequel to the 2015 film The Gallows. The plot follows Charlie the hangman as he goes after new targets, who have been silly enough to read from his cursed screenplay. The story of this series is that of a teenager called Charlie, who died during a production of The Gallows many years ago, and now has come back as an angry spirit, corrupting people who read the stage play that killed him and demanding a willing sacrifice.

Like many Blumhouse films’ this follows the usual formula, a group of generic and self-absorbed teens, are hunted down one by one and killed by an angry spirit or, demon. Though Act II follows this formula in some respects, it also manages to better it in many others.

To get one thing very clear before we begin the review in earnest, The 2015 Gallows film is utterly terrible; it is probably one of the worst Blumhouse horror films, so Act II didn’t have a high bar to reach to be better than it’s predecessor, but it is.

Where the first film had characters that were generic and deeply, deeply unlikable, characters that you wanted Charlie to catch. Act II has an incredibly likeable protagonist and, she is the best thing about the film. Ema Horvath’s Ana Rue is extremely likable; being almost impossible not to root for. There is something about Horvath’s performance which is just so positive and wholesome it makes it stand out. The fact that her character is a vlogger is central to the narrative, and though it could have been handled terribly, it is actually done well; even adding to the scares in some scenes. Yes the rest of the characters are as generic and one-note as you would expect, but the lead is definitely a step up from the first film

Whatsmore, Act II also benefits from exploring the mythology and the play itself deeper. It sets out the rules about what Charlie can and can’t do, which greatly improves the film; adding far more consistency. In terms of the scares, Act II takes more than a little inspiration from Sinister, which is a great film to take cues from, one, not two obviously. Meaning that this film does, unlike the first film actually, have some great moments and a superb sense of tension.

Act II surprised me, I was expecting trash and, instead got this interesting fresh take on the series, very much like with the Ouija franchise. This is a nice little morsel of horror goodness to tide you over until more meatier releases are upon us. The Gallows Act II is a colossal improvement over the first boasting a compelling and likeable lead and a great fleshed out mythology that makes you want to know more. Plus the end reveal nicely carries over elements from the first film in a very interesting and satisfying way.

Far, Far better than I was expecting it to be, is it a must-watch? No. But horror fans will find something to love about this surprising sequel.

3.5/5
Reviewed by Luke

In the Tall Grass: Getting Lost in the Weeds

In the Tall Grass is a supernatural horror film based on the work of Stephen King and his son Joe Hill. The plot follows a brother and sister who get lost in a field of tall grass and go missing. Then the boyfriend of the sister shows up to try and find out what is going on.

If the plot sounds uninspired, that’s because it is, it takes elements from a lot of other science fiction and, horror films and blends them into something that didn’t need to be made. King’s work is currently in demand, with all of his novels and novellas getting the big-screen treatment. However, as the saying goes, “they were too busy thinking about it they could they never thought about if they should”. This film proves that and then some.

In the Tall Grass seems like something that could work well as a 20-minute short film, but there isn’t enough material to stretch it to feature-length. As such we get long drawn out sequences of the characters in the tall grass just roaming around, not doing much of anything, these are supposed to be tense, but they feel like padding.

When watching the film, you can’t help but compare it to other films that have similar concepts, but that have used them in much better ways. An example of this is the idea of time loops, which is a third act twist. In the Tall Grass uses this Science Fiction staple in the laziest possible way, with everything from Groundhog Day to Happy Death Day using it better.

Most tragically of all is while watching this film I kept being reminded of King’s infinitely better film The Children of the Corn; which I would say plays heavy influence here. The issue with this is you can’t help but, think how much better that film is than this; it is not a favourable comparison.

What’s more, the acting is abysmal being so bad that I can’t remember a single character name or, motivation. They’re incredibly one-note and generic being little more than dull, fleshy characters who run around aimlessly and scream at things to remind us they’re scary. How this film managed to sign Patrick Wilson, of The Conjuring fame, onboard is anyone’s guess; this film is a blemish on his otherwise pretty stellar filmography.

Finally and perhaps worst of all, the film isn’t scary. When you watch a Stephen King film, you expect a certain standard of creepiness and scares; King has written some of the most chilling novels of the 20th and 21st century, but that doesn’t show here. The real terror of In the Tall Grass is just how boring, dull and repetitive it is; that is enough to keep anyone up for weeks.

Further proving the low standards Netflix has when it comes to green-lighting projects, In the Tall Grass is a bargain bin horror/ thriller, along the same lines as Sharknado or, other trash; though In the Tall Grass is somehow worse than these films. Another Netflix film to avoid.

1/5
Reviewed by Luke

Doctor Sleep: The Sequel King and Kubrick Wanted!

Doctor Sleep is a supernatural horror film, based on the Stephen King book of the same name. Doctor Sleep follows on from the events of Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 film the Shining and follows an adult Danny Torrence, (Ewan McGregor), who has been scared and broken after the events at the Overlook Hotel; the ghosts still haunt Danny, both literally and figuratively, and he has all but, stopped using his ‘Shine’.

The Plot follows Danny as he tries to come to terms with what happened to him and move past it, it does to a degree until follower Shiner Abra Stone, (Kyleigh Curran), bursts into his life. Abra is the target of a group of beings who feed off the souls of shiners, with her powers drawing them ever closer.

First thing first I loved his film, and I will get to that, but I want to talk about the one negative that bothered me about the film. Said negative is the de-aged characters, through the film, there are several flashbacks to the events of The Shining, but the original cast don’t reprise their roles. This change in actors did distract me and take me out of those scenes; with them being more than a bit jarring.

That said everything else about the film is a triumph, Doctor Sleep manages to be a sequel not only to the Stanley Kubrick film but also to Stephen King’s The Shining. Both of these version of the story are very different, with some people liking one more than the other. However, Doctor Sleep manages to do both versions justice and be a worthy follow up.

Furthermore, it’s nice to see how the events of The Shining affected Danny, and see how he has lived with his abilities since then. McGregor does a great job showing us this, as we can see just how damaged he is, but he is still sympathetic and believable as the hero. It’s nice to see him take on a mentorship role to Abra, just like Dick Holloran to him.

Carrying on from that one of the best things that Doctor Sleep does is build the world of The Shining, it highlights what the shine is and what it can do, and how different people have a variety of shine based abilities and use them for varying odds and ends. Danny’s shine was always the most interesting part of the original narrative and, I’m glad to see it explored in more detail here.

Finally, the best part of the film is Rebecca Ferguson’s villain, Rose. Rose is the leader of True Knot, the evil group hunting down Abra. Ferguson plays this evil manic pixie girl to perfection, easily being one of the best and most memorable antagonists of 2019. She is a scene stealer.

Overall, Doctor Sleep is a worthy follow up to one of the all-time horror greats, which is no mean feat. The narrative fits perfectly into the ending of The Shining and makes it feel like required viewing, which if you like horror films, Ewan McGregor, or Rebecca Ferguson it is.

4.5/5
Reviewed by Luke

Countdown: Counting Down the Minutes Till I Die

Countdown is a film about an app that predicts when you’re going to die; it knows this because when the countdown reaches zero, an unseen force kills you. Does that sound lazy to you? Does it sound like the writers were just sat around a table trying to come up with an idea for a jump scare film that hasn’t been done a hundred times before, and one turns to the other and goes, “what about a demon app”? Because most likely, that is what it was like.

I am going to say right from the off that I didn’t like this film, it was lazy and dull and just felt like a cheap, rushed production so that they could get it out in time for Halloween. The idea is inherently dumb; the more you sit and think about it, the more you realise that the unfathomable amount of plot holes are actually hurting you.

The characters are, if you can even call them that, your generic group of teens, all the stereotypes are present here, they don’t even bother to develop them or, give them personality because that would be too much effort. The same can be said of the Countdown Demon, who is not special or, unique in any way it is just bland.

I thought that Truth or, Dare was the worst horror film I had ever seen, and I’ve seen some stinkers, but now this is the new number one. The thing I actively hate the most about this film is just how aggressively average it is, and how it seems to be proud of that fact.

I have been souring on jump scares for a while now, they’re often overused and, have become ineffective in most cases, because they’re so obvious. Countdown shows this perfectly; there is nothing scary about this film; it doesn’t have an atmosphere; it doesn’t have psychological horror; it just has tired played out jump scares.

We as a horror community deserve better than this, and this is the lowest common denominator trash, no time, effort or, energy was put into making this, all it does right is make other lousy horror films look good. I really do believe this film was just excreted out to take advantage of the Halloween window. This film makes me lose faith in horror, and where it’s going, it really does.

Please don’t see this film. It doesn’t deserve to make money. Studios should know that crap like this isn’t going to be successful, they should understand that if they want their horror films to make money, they have to try. This is a spit in the face of all good horror movies. While watching this film, I was counting down the minutes until the end.

0/5
Reviewed By Luke