The Parish: Nuns Are Always Creepy

The Parish is a horror film directed by David S. Hogan. The plot sees single mum Liz (Angela DiMarco), and her daughter move after Liz’s husband dies- looking for a fresh start. However, upon arrival Liz and her daughter quickly find themselves caught up in a decades old mystery as well as a millennium long battle between good and evil.

The main thing that drew me to this film was Bill Oberst Jr. I am a big fan of the films of Rob Zombie (particularly the Firefly trilogy), so seeing his name attached instantly attracted my attention. Oberst Jr, does not disappoint and is as good here as he is in the final instalment in that trilogy, stealing damn near every scene he is in and managing to be the coolest thing about the film.

Another strong point about the film is it’s scares. Though the film starts off slow, by the twenty minute mark you can see things are a miss, and when Liz starts having horrific nightmare that’s when the film really starts getting going: the nightmares provide the film with some strong horror visuals, but it is the general scene of creepiness brought about by the atmosphere and the plot that makes the film unsettling. This film sat with me for a while after I watched it, which is always a good sign for a horror film.

Overall, a terrifically creepy affair with an excellent, as always, turn from Bill Oberst Jr.

Pros.

Oberst Jr

DiMarco

The scares

The mystery

The final showdown

Cons.

The opening is a little slow

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke  

Todd: The Life Of A Budding Killer

Todd is a thriller film directed by Aaron Warren. The plot follows the titular Todd (Hans Hernke), as we see his decent into becoming a budding madman/ killer, due to intense social isolation and abuse.

I appreciated this film not taking the easy road, they could have made a film that used all the evil kid, budding serial killer cliches for Todd and made him out to be an unsympathetic, obvious monster. However, instead the film explores the character further and takes a more nuanced approach to the discussion, showing that he has layers and that his situation has driven him to do what he does.

I thought the tense stalking sequences of the later film were also well done, too often is the term ‘on the edge of your seat’ used, but here I would describe a similar feeling. There is a lot of great suspense around how far will Todd go, when will he be caught. As such the cat and mouse game that escalates from it is very fun to watch.

Overall, the writing really helps to elevate this film beyond mediocrity and make it memorable and dare I say it, impactful?

Pros.

Layered writing

A lens towards society

A strong sense of tension

Cons.

The character’s other than Todd are all quite weak and poorly fleshed out

A few pacing issues

3/5

Beyond The Gates: If You Find A Random Video Tape Throw It Away!

Beyond The Gates is a horror film directed by Jackson Stewart. The plot serves to homage classic 90s genre films and has two brother (Graham Skipper and Chase Williamson, respectively), beginning playing a supernatural board game that has very real-world consequences and threatens to endanger their lives.

This film was a lot of fun, I enjoyed its wink and a nod tone and thought that it was a perfect retro throwback. However, it was also far more than that, I also thought that the premise was quite inspired, it was like a hellish version of Jumanji but with less time spent in the other world, I am surprised I have not seen this done before, but I haven’t, and it felt fresh to me.

Skipper, Williamson and Margot McKenzie who make up the main trio all do solid work and sell the scares. I thought the shotgun scene was particularly well done on the part of Skipper and Williamson, they both seemed genuinely scared, like they weren’t acting, and that allowed me to become more emotionally invested in the scene as a result.

Finally, I would be remiss if I did not talk about horror veteran Barbara Crampton who is also in this film. She plays the guide of the game, a figure who can communicate between worlds, and she is just as magnificent as you would expect and does a lot with a minimal amount of screen time.

Overall, an unexpected treat.

Pros.

Crampton

The leads

The horror

The retro throwback feeling

Cons.

It is a little slow to start

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Nest Of Vampires: Sucking Blood In The UK

Nest Of Vampires is a British action horror film directed by Chris Sanders. The plot sees an MI5 officer become wrapped up in the affairs of a vampiric cult after trying to find the people responsible for the death of his wife and the disappearance of his daughter.

There is something of an early Neil Marshall here, still rough but full of promise.

I enjoy British horror quite a lot, not knocking anywhere else’s horror, but there has always been something special to me about homegrown horror; there is just a certain edge to it that I haven’t seen elsewhere. The last Marshal comparison I will make today, in Dog Soldiers you can see what I mean about this edge, the dark countryside area, the rough practical effects, the gore- there is just something to it.

That is very much the case here as well, there is a grime to it all- I think that is the best word for that special British something that I am talking about. The grime makes everything just pop that little bit more. The violence stands out and becomes even more visceral, and the characters and the world feel real and lived in.

I enjoyed the plot of the film for the most part, there were a few pacing issues here and there, but I thought it worked well and I have not seen a vampire film like this in a while and it had almost a retro like appeal to it that I enjoyed.

I thought the horror of the film was strong, I wouldn’t call it scary rather oppressive as the action elements often stop there from being jump scares and that sort of thing. However, I do think the action and the horror work well together to create almost a dark fantasy film, which again is an under represented genre in current cinema.

Overall, a very entertaining watch, more so perhaps if you are already a fan of British horror cinema.

Pros.

That special something

The action

The horror elements

A strong villain

Cons.

A few light pacing problems

The lead could do with more development

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Know Fear: Commune With The Darkness

Written by Luke Barnes

Know Fear is a horror film directed by Jamison S. LoCascio. The plot follows a family who come under demonic attack and must do battle with an otherworldly beast. Each member of the family has to commune with the demon in order to fight back, this takes multiple forms for each different family member, but one by one they do battle.

Demonic possession films are a dime a dozen at his point, and the genre is oversaturated, and that is why this film makes me happy- because it provides us with something fresh. The demon here doesn’t just target the kids, or the wife no it goes after everyone which makes for a nice change from the usual Conjuring Universe shenanigans.

Moreover, this film has far more of an intensely personal dimension to it, than a lot of other genre fare. We are given a very intimate look into the film of this film; we view them as real people more so than characters in a film and that makes the scares and the threat far more impactful.

Overall, a nice breath of fresh air in an overcrowded subgenre.

Pros.

The intimate feel

Focusing on the whole family and each individually

The scares

The freshness of it

Cons.

A bit slow at times

4/5

Ghostbusters: Loud Does Not Equal Funny, An Irritation

Ghostbusters is a science fiction comedy film directed by Paul Feig. The plot sees a new group of Ghostbusters rise up to take the fight to everything that goes bump in the night.

Yes, much like my Rise Of Skywalker review this will be a long one so buckle up.

I have seen this film 3 times now, the first two times were on release when I firstly went to see if it was as bad as I had heard, and then secondly went after being invited by a friend. After the second time I vowed that I would just forget about this film and move on, however, the other night (years later), I saw in on streaming and thought ‘eh maybe I am remembering it worse than it is’, nope….. It is just as bad as I remembered.

Do you know what the main issue is with this film? It seems too much creative freedom was given, usually it is a good thing for the creative in control of making a film to have a large amount of freedom, not here however, as they abused that privilege.

This film feels like a sketch that they dragged out for over two hours (that is a common complaint of mine with the films of Kristen Wiig, but it is especially true here). There is far too much improv comedy, that reeks to me of them thinking that they are naturally funnier then they are. The original Ghostbusters were silly, yes they were comedy films, but there was also a seriousness to them. The balance between comedy and seriousness is maintained and used well hence why they are funny, here the balance is way, way off and it is painfully unfunny.

As many others have said, the only funny thing about this film is Chris Hemsworth’s dumb receptionist character, which in itself could be viewed as a harmful stereotype adding to the ‘hot but dumb’ cliché. Hemsworth is the only part of the film that actually worked for me in a comedic sense, there was not even any unintentional humour as you might expect from this kind of thing, no it was all just flat and repetitive.

Moreover, the characters are all almost entirely unlikeable, they all seem to have one personality trait that is played up and up and up to the point of mind-blowing annoyance, to be funny? They have all the depth of a puddle of vomit, and seem to go out of their way to be confrontational towards the audience in kind of a meta way that just comes across as petty that it was left in.

Overall, this will be remembered as one of the biggest misfires in the history of modern Hollywood and for very good reasons the sequel to it is dead in the water, with the next film in the series ignoring it all together. Just bad all-round.
Pros.

Chris Hemsworth is funny when he is on-screen

Cons.

The rest of the cast are painfully unfunny

The comments scene feels overly petty

The characters are one note and annoying

This is a stain on the career of everyone involved in it, with the exception of Hemsworth

The CGI is bad

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke      

Curse Of The Blind Dead: The Templars Were Even More Evil Than Assassin’s Creed Led Us To Believe

Curse Of The Blind Dead is an action horror film directed by Raffaele Picchio. The plot sees the restless spirits of a group of satanic Knights Templar haunt a forest after being massacred by a group of locals. Years later in a far-flung future a father and his daughter must be battle against the undead knights along with a post-apocalyptic murderous religious sect led by a mad preacher.

So, there is a lot going on with this one and I do mean a lot. What might on the surface sound overly complicated or too much actually works really well here. The old and the new come together beautifully, in a way I would not expect them to, really giving this film a nice sense of originality and personality.

I enjoyed the horror and the gory violence of this film. I thought the gore was just right, it was nice and visceral but also not too much. The battle scenes, if you can call them that, with the knights are well done and leave quite a menacing impression. Moreover, the scares are quite strong here it is not so much jump scares scary as it is an oppressive atmosphere that builds over time, until a satisfying and impactful climax.

Overall, it ticks all the boxes you would want it too based on the premise and is mostly satisfying, no major complaints.

Pros.

The gore

The Knights Templar

It is an interesting idea

The future and the past plotlines actually complement each other quite well.

Cons.

The leads are lifeless and dull, but its okay as the gory action is what you are watching it for

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Dementer: Cults Can’t Live With Them, Can’t Maintain The Safety Of Those Around You Without Them.

Dementer Is a horror film directed by Chad Crawford Kinkel. The plot sees Brandy (Brand Edmiston), escape a rural cult, later taking upon work at an assisted living facility for adults with special needs: to try and make up for her dark past. However, that very dark past threatens to tear back into her life and effect those closest to her.

The horror in this film is very effecting, mainly because it is so personal and human. As I have said in other reviews, with demons and ghost there is a degree of fantasy there you can convince yourself after the film that they don’t exist. However, the threats in this film, cults, and local evil is very real and not as easily pushed from one’s mind.

Edmiston make for a solid lead, we like her and want to see her life turn around and it does that despite the challenges she faces. Honestly, the personal journey her character goes through in this beautiful and very well constructed.

My one critique of the film would be that there are several lulls over the course of the film where things slow down, these bits lost my attention and took me out of the film. Moreover, the ending also doesn’t feel as satisfying as it should and instead feels rushed which makes the film end on a sour note

Overall, a very harrowing film that despite a few lulls and a botched ending manages to scare and leave a mark on the viewer.

Pros.

The scares

The very real sense of danger

Edmiston

Cons.

The lulls

The supporting characters need more development

The ending felt a little rushed

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Interview with Alexander Jeremy The Writer/Director Of F r e d And Milk Run

Written by Luke Barnes

Hey Everyone! I recent had the chance to sit down and chat to Alexander Jeremy, the writer director behind f r e d and the lockdown thriller Milk Run.  We talk about filming during lockdown, dancing through grief and the films of Russian cinematic giant Andrei Tarkovsky. I hope you enjoy!

Q: Who is your filmmaking inspiration?

A: I think it’s quite a lot of things actually. Film wise, from super strange niche stuff, like Tarkovsky/Bresson or something like that; things that kind of push the boundaries. Then on the flip side, pretty straight down the line films like Star Trek, The Last Samurai and the Avengers movies! I also get a lot of inspiration from music and the whole music world. I love weird electronic music and rap.

Q: Do you have any funny on set stories?

A: Not particularly hilarious but just one of those unexpected moments whilst filming; in f r e d, there’s a bit where Fred dances through a restaurant. We just shot that with no prep and no warning to the restaurant (naughty) – but at the end, a random guy started dancing with him. I love things like that.

Q: How would you describe the production of either F r e d or Milkrun?

A: F r e d was my first serious “piece”. Everyone was going out on a limb and we had no idea what it was going to turn out like, it felt a lot like a train in motion and we just kept up a long with it. Milkrun was strange, because I shot everything by myself on the cheapest of gear I could afford. So it was incredibly rough and “lofi” as I call it, it was not at all like a proper set – but I quite like that, makes it feel more like a bunch of kids with cameras. I think we should value short films made with nothing that are rough around the edges, as opposed to super high-budget, professional ones, clean ones – I always find them less interesting, (less risk?).

Q: How would you describe your experience with Lockdown filmmaking? 

4. It’s been an incredible time for me as a filmmaker, you’d think it’d be the opposite. If you’re willing to accept that shooting in Lockdown with nothing is probably not going to get you into Cannes or Sundance, and you can focus more on the love of it, practice, play etc – then in that sense, it’s been lovely. The super affordable gear and equipment these days are making filmmaking so accessible, it’s awesome. I want a Black Magic Pocket 6k Pro very badly!!

Q: How key was tapping into the fear and paranoia of the British lockdown for Milk Run? How close to life was your spoof?

A:  I love the old silent films, so I wanted to do something like that – also because it meant I wouldn’t need sound which cuts costs massively and makes everything much easier to shoot. In terms of the paranoia, and especially at that time (during the end of the second lockdown), you’re constantly in waves between paranoia and “fuck it”. I myself have probably swayed too far in each direction at one point, so I guess I wanted it to be a reminder not too swing too far in any direction.

Q: If you could go back in time to when you were a filmmaker first starting out what would you say to yourself?

A: Make more, keep going, be patient…and what I try to tell myself now is to focus on the fun, the joy, the creating, making good work – and try to forget about everything else. I think focusing on your “career” might make your work mediocre. 

Q: With F_r_e_d what was vital to you when trying to convey the grief on screen?

A: Just the silence, I think. How someone is there, with you, every day and then isn’t. Also, that with grief you cry one minute, dance the next, cry, then laugh, then numb, then cry – all over the place.

Q: Dance is obviously a central part of the narrative in f r e d, why is that and how did the idea come about?

A: F r e d ended up a very ambiguous piece, people read lots of different things into it – so I don’t really want to say too much. However, I’ll say the dance came from the fact that it’s so opposite to grief, and I thought it would suit Fred’s character – you can’t place him, he feels more like a force, a spirit, then a living person. 

Q: Sequel ideas or potential new endeavours?

A: No sequels in the works! Just more projects. I have another film coming out very soon, called Crowning, written by Hannah May Jessop. That film I think continues to explore stylistically some things I was tapping into with f r e d; a kind of stylistic awkwardness, anti-cinematic – to make you feel slightly unnerved – it’s not following the cinematic rules that we take comfort in, so you don’t know what it will do. Then, combining that with the silent era call-backs of Milkrun. Let’s see what happens with it! Please follow @crowningfilm !!

Q: If you ever win an Oscar or other award who would you thank in your acceptance speech?

A:  My Mum and Dad, my late friend Josh, and Keith Johnstone. (And agent + wife I imagine!)

You can check out F r e d and Milk Run, on Youtube, Vimeo and other streaming services now and of course you can check out reviews of both on my site now!

Interview With McCain Lindquist Director Of The Tell Tale Heart

Written by Luke Barnes

Hey Everyone! I recently had the chance to sit down and chat with The Tell Tale Heart director McClain Lindquist, and we chatted all things horror- Poe, Hitchcock and of course the horror films of the 1970s and the 1980s. Be sure to check out my review before reading this, for further context- it is on the site now. I hope you enjoy!

Q: How important were practical effects to you with the Tell Tale Heart?

A: Practical effects were critical to our film. Using tangible special effect makeup was a decision we made right from the beginning. Our love of 1980s horror/Sci-Fi would be the impetus for this nostalgic approach. Respect for the modern masters would be the driving force in their inclusion. The late 70s and early 80s were the high-water mark of practical special effects and influenced us immensely. We harkened to the heady days of amazing films like American Werewolf, The Fly, Alien, The Thing, Howling, Evil Dead 2, and The Blob to achieve a realistic yet surreal tone. Chris Hanson tasked with the special effects department is a wizard and we were blessed to have his expertise and creativity involved from the earliest stages of preproduction.

Q: What is your favourite horror film and who are you influences?

A: I have such a long list! It’s so hard to narrow down to one film. But here are a few… The Exorcist, The Shining, The Omen, Rosemary’s Baby, Psycho, Deep Red, The Beyond, Shock, Hellraiser, Texas Chainsaw, Halloween, Train to Busan, Night of the Living Dead, Jaws, REC, Descent, Funny Games, Carnival of Souls, The Skin I Live In, Cape Fear, Devils Backbone, Jacobs Ladder, Poltergeist, Babadook, The Ring, Let The Right One In, Carrie, Suspiria, The Others, 28 Days, Dead Alive, but if you had to pin me down and say one movie it’s… Evil Dead 2!

 Q: Sequel ideas?

A: I have already parlayed or rewritten the (sequel) full length version into two distinct screenplays. I have no interest in doing a follow up film for The Tell Tale Heart. So I pilfered my own ideas and applied unused aspects from my original script to the new stories. Both of the scripts are also based on Edgar Allan Poe short stories. The Cask of Amontillado and The Black Cat. This trilogy of short films (including Tell Tale) would work splendidly within a movie anthology of Poe shorts. My full-length film fit perfectly amongst those two intense stories. So I just transplanted settings and characters to fit the narrative. It worked surprisingly well and came together very quickly and easily.

 Q: How did you get into filmmaking?

A: I was tasked to write, direct and produce the music videos for my band Bass Mint Pros. We shot our first music video in beautiful Death Valley National Park. I took to the entire process of filmmaking very quickly and shortly thereafter I was shooting local commercials, musical/political spoofs and then web based serials. Being a cinephile and film buff, making a movie was the next logical progression.

 Q: What are your thoughts on modern horror?

A: I have a deep love for the genre of horror. My favorite horror movies are the Universal Monster classics. As time passes sadly even the amazing genre films I grew up on are now considered outdated and vintage. Like all art forms it must change and grow, or it becomes stagnant and then dies. In my opinion modern horror is incredible. It’s the next logical step. I find this new wave of heady horror hounds to be most invigorating. It’s really refreshing to see the next batch of filmmakers having a sense of cinema and apply elements of art house to their films. Watching new perspectives has been eye opening. I want to see films from all cultures that represent a new and yet unseen viewpoint. I am also pleased with the style and bold experimentation in their vibrant films. I love the depth and emotional power of these trailblazers. Elevating the art form could never be (and should never be) seen as a negative element when it comes to the evolution of scary films around the world.

 Q:  Which do you value more when making a horror film, scares or atmosphere?

A: Atmosphere without a doubt! Ninety percent of horror is generated through atmospheric dread. The vast majority of atmosphere in cinema is created by gaffe or lighting. Pace, setting and tone are all vital to instil a spooky ambiance as well. As strange as it seems being “scared” is not critical. Everyone has different responses to fright. However I personally love jump scares and want the audience of my films to most definitely feel fear and become afraid. Fear is such a fascinating response to me. Fight or flight can be achieved without cheap scares if you carefully take the time to build up to the intense moments. Let the audience create the ambiance within themselves. It’s a litmus test of sorts. Don’t undercut the imagination and creativity of the viewer. They might just surprise you!

 Q: Do you have any fun production stories?

A: Too many to count! Fun is the perfect word to encapsulate our production. If you aren’t having fun why even create art? We have three rules to our film productions. 1. BE SAFE! (No one should EVER get hurt making a movie) 2. Work hard! (Duh!) and 3. Have FUN! It’s hard to think of any element that wasn’t incredibly fun while making this movie. It was very upbeat and jovial on set. Lots of light-hearted inside jokes abound. I was usually the butt of everybody’s joke and was pranked endlessly each and every day on set. I got them all back, however. When we watched the trailer at the wrap party I purposely had the file slow down and go into buffering mode. It was hilarious to watch them all squirm. Revenge is dish best served… COLD!

Q: If you were to describe the production in one word what would it be?

A: Definitive

Q: If you could meet and chat to any living or dead filmmaker who would it be?

A: Living – Martin Scorsese / Deceased – Alfred Hitchcock.

Q: If you won an Oscar who would you thank?

A: I would have the shortest speech in the history of the Oscars and beat Joe Pesci by one word. I would simply say… “Thanks!” However… I dedicated this film to my two beautiful daughters. I love them more than words could ever express, and they would be first and foremost on my mind.

Q: How important was Edgar Allan Poe’s influence over the film as a whole?

A: Edgar Allan Poe’s immense influence permeated throughout the entire process of the making of this film. From my brother nailing his voice in the dialogue to Janelle Corey’s costume design which we used Poe as the model. All the way down to Nikki BreedLove’s hair style which was styled in the vein of Edgar. Hell even Lyndi Bone’s set design was also inspired by the venerable Mr Poe. We wanted to respect him and his vast influence completely in our short film. This is his story. We are just tourists merely visiting his macabre world. I hope he would approve and appreciate our deference to his lasting legacy.

If you are interested, you can check out The Tell Tale Heart on the festival circuit right now! Or own in on VHS tape by ordering it from Telltalemovie.com